Rain
WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT
Title : Rain
Pairing: Eminem/Kim
Summary: Em and Kim are trying work things out, meanwhile- fourteen year old Lily Rayne has problems of her own.AUTHOR'S NOTES: I will NOT be address Kim's niece who is supposedly living with them. For the purposes of this, she doesn't exist in their home permanently. 1) I don't want to complicate things MORE. 2) Some sources say her name is Amy others say it's Aidan. 3) I'm the author and it's my right! It's fanfic! :-) I will *also* not really be addressing Nathan *too* much. He may pop up- but he's not living with them either. ALSO I am assuming the book "Cleanin' Out My Closet" is a load of crap since that's what the man himself said. So any information J.R. Watkins said about Kim or Em and their relationship does not apply here.
ONE MORE THING!!! This fiction is color coded for ease of reading since there are three main characters!! Anytime you see (------), it means time has passed. Here's the KEY:
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----------5
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Fuck. This is- good. I wish Mom were here. Mom would know what to do.
Mom *always* knows what to do. If only she could just *tell* me what to do.
"Hewo?" Ohshit. I look over at an apparently awake Jessie who picked up the phone.
"Jessie! Gimme the phone!" I grab it from her and- is it on? Shit. I think *I* just turned it on. I look down at her and she's fast asleep. Huh?
Out of the corner of my eyes, I catch a movement on the wall and I look over and see a picture of Mom and me. I *swear* it just… winked at me… out of the corner of my eye.
Always and forever in my heart, we'll never part. I get the message, Mom.
"Hello?" I ask on the phone.
I hear a sharp gasp and everything is quiet for a while.
"Lily, Honey, are you still there?" Marcie asks.
"Yeah, Marce. I am, I just-" I don't know what the hell to say. So- 'hi' just seems really stupid and was covered effectively with 'hello'. And they probably have no idea what to say either. So "Kids at school would be soo jealous if they knew Eminem called my house."
I know. Lame, but-
"Rain?" A woman asks.
"Actually, she doesn't-"
"Marcie, it's okay. I got it."
I hear her hang up.
"Yeah- I think… maybe Mom took that and changed the spelling a bit- but it's my middle name. It's what Mommy always called me- Rayne." I choke back a sniffle.
"We're-"
"Don't *dare* say you're sorry," I warn. I *hate* people telling me how sorry they are.
And I hear her laugh a little. "Just like you, Marsh."
*********
Ohgod- she's… it's Rain. It's our *daughter*. And she sounds really nice- smart and funny.
But also sad and I wish there was something we could do for her to help.
"We'd *really* love to meet you," I confess. "Maybe you have questions-"
"*Kim*," he says quietly. I know- maybe it's pushing it, but she's my *daughter*.
How can I *not* go for it?
++++++++
She's been quiet for a few minutes and if Kim hadn't said it- I probably would have.
I mean- she's our daughter and in one way or another we've thought about and dreamed about her everyday for fourteen years.
"We don't wanna disturb your life or-" I say.
"I think it was sufficiently disturbed when my mother did."
~~~~~~~~
And- I can't believe I just said that! It's true, but I can't believe I *said* it.
I don't wanna leave Marcie and Rob. They've been like- no. They *are* family. But- is he- are *they*- and I like *them*?
They've been quiet for another few minutes when I say. "Okay."
"Okay?" He asks.
"Yeah. I wanna- meet you too."
"We'll come to you," he says quickly. "When you want, when you're ready- we'll come to you."
God- they sound soo nice, normal. I just- I don't know if I *can* right now.
I just-
"You said in your letter that you'd just bought the CDs," he says and I can't believe that I'm talking to my… I mean- they're *not* my parents, but… they are. I just don't think I'm ready to trade in my parents for another set. I mean- what do they want from me?
"Uh, yeah," I confirm. "I just- don't know what to do."
"We don't wanna push- especially with your situation. But-"
"Rain, we just," it's her. She sounds nice- despite what that Jenny person said about her in the book. "We just wanna maybe get to know you- or not. Whatever you want- when you're ready."
"Okay," I sigh. "I just- I'm sorry. I just can't do it right now."
"Well- we gave Marcie our address and phone numbers. We'll… wait to hear from you? If and when you want-" God. She sounds just like a mom too.
"Okay," I say. "I gotta- go."
"Bye," they say sadly.
"Bye." And then I hang up the phone.
*********
God, I don't wanna hang up so Marshall does.
"She sounds really-"
"Amazing?" He asks.
"Yeah- doesn't she?" I just- can't believe it. Shit. The last week has been- busy. And taxing. "Do you think she'll call?"
"I think," he says, pulling me into his lap. "that when she's ready, she'll call. But I *also* think that we've got two other kids that we can't forget about. So- let's just try and-"
"Forget?" Fuck. I couldn't even if I *wanted* to.
"No. I was just- I think we should just try and concentrate on us and our family. If we let *that* fall apart, there'll be nothing for her to meet, ya know?"
"Yeah," I sigh. He's too damn sensible sometimes.
I really hate that about him.
++++++++
I'm too logical sometimes. I really hate that about myself.
But it's still true. We can't forget about Hailie or Whitney.
"It's possible she might not even call for a month or whatever."
"What if she never calls again?" Kim asks. Yeah- I had that thought too. I just- didn't wanna say it. But- I mean for all I feel for Hailie- I don't know what it's like to be a mother and to have carried a child for nine months. I know that for weeks after Rain left- she cried at night. She cried herself to sleep. I think she *did* until she got pregnant with Hailie.
"Then we know she's healthy and taken care of. We know she had a loving mother and has people she can rely on. And that'll have to be enough. It's more than we had a week ago."
"I guess."
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I stare down at the things in the drawer and it dawns on me that mother's day is in a few weeks and Mom and I won't go to brunch like we have for the past ten years.
She kept so much thought- all the Christmas and Mother's Day cards I ever gave her. She even had a box in the closet full of school reports and art projects.
She saved it all for me.
"Lily?"
"What?"
"Is there- I'm gonna take most of her clothes to goodwill, unless there's anything you want-"
"I'll look," I tell her. God- this is too much. Mom tried to clean the place out so I wouldn't have to do all of it. It's why we moved to an apartment, I think.
I think she knew she was sick for a while before she told me it was back and there wasn't anything they could do.
I haven't been back here since- the day before she died- when she was the only mother I'd ever have.
And now, I'm packing my stuff.
I hear Marcie's cell phone ring as I write on this box: Cards, Notes, School Papers.
Rob said that they'd store anything I wanted to save in the attic. I want it all though. I don't wanna let anything go. I don't wanna believe she's gone.
"Lily!"
"Yeah?" I turn and look at her. She looks- worried.
"That was the babysitter. Jessie's got a fever and I gotta go back home. You ready? We'll come tomorrow and work more."
"No- I just- can Rob pick me up on his way home from work?"
"Are you sure?" She asks. "I don't wanna leave you here alone."
"I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm gonna finish packing my CDs and books and stuff."
"Are you *sure*?"
"It's only for a few hours. I'll be fine."
"Okaay," she says. "I'll call and tell him- but I want you to keep the cell here, just in case."
"The phone still works. I'll be fine."
After a few more minutes of assuring her I can be in my own apartment alone, she leaves. But- it's not my apartment anymore, if it ever was. To tell you the truth, it doesn't even *feel* like home.
It never really did, I guess. Home was a house about a mile away from Rob and Marcie. And now- someone else lives there. And nowhere is home without Mom.
It's just- empty. Hollow.
I put her favorite sweater on and lay down on her bed before pulling the blanket she knitted me up and closing my eyes.
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*********It's been two weeks since Niagara Falls. That was such a good weekend.
And this… this is nice too.
"Pass me the shampoo?" He whispers softly.
This is the fourth 'shower blackout' we've done. We shut the lights off completely, light one candle, and shower together. It's midnight and he just got back from the studio about five minutes ago. Although this one wasn't planned- he scared the piss out of me when he got home earlier than I expected and opened the door.
His arm brushes against my nipples as he reaches around me to put the shampoo back on the shelf. I briefly feel his penis against my thigh, semi-hard already. Hmm… I bet I can help him with *that*.
"Marshy, Baby, will you help me?" I ask quietly.
"Huh?"
I step closer to him and place a hand around his waist. "Wash my back?" I practically whisper in his ear as I hand him the scrubbie. "I can't reach."
I kiss his Adam's apple as he swallows and I can feel him reacting now. I kiss his neck as he moves the scrubbie over my back. "Mmm- hands feel *so* good, Marshall," I coo between soft kisses on his wet skin.
Shit. We *have* made an effort to spend at least ten minutes with each other a day. Yesterday, we curled up on the couch while Hai was at school and Whit was sleeping. We just- sat with each other, holding each other. We didn't even *say* anything, but we just sat for about twenty minutes. It was- I practically fell a*sleep* in his arms.
And last week, he attacked me in the kitchen and I ended up giving him a blow job, which he later paid back.
The scrubbie falls to the tub floor and his hands are just moving soothingly over my soapy back and I lean into him more. I press my sex against his thigh and one of his hands slips down to my ass. "Kim," he breathlessly moans before I seal my lips over his and we're just kissing.
Shit- if only things could *stay* like this. Forever. We're actually *happy* now, I think. We've just been- I mean, before Thanksgiving, we were closer than we ever had been. We were talking and he was sharing about work and shit. And then things got awkward and we fell into old patterns, but we're getting out of those now.
++++++++
Fuck- this girl is gonna be my undoing. I step toward her and she keeps stepping backwards until we're under the stream of water and she's pressed against the wall. The water cascades down between us and makes her slippery against my thigh as she rubs against it.
Oh, shit. I *love* when she does that. She slides her hand up from my waist to midback and I just- love when she does that. I'm weird about that, but- it's one of my things I guess. I *love* when women touch my back. And she *knows* it.
I gently lift her left thigh up and she props her foot up on the ledge of the tub. "Marshall," she sighs as I slip a hand between her thighs and pet her softly. Shit- I work out, but I don't wanna slip on the tub and die neither.
I wonder if- "C'mere," I say and the tub is big enough, maybe not to lay down, but… I pull her down to the floor with me on our knees and I lay back with my knees bent. "C'mon," I urge her and she straddles my hips and grinds against my cock as she leans down and kisses me. "Fuck me," I tell her.
"Hold your horses, Man," she warns.
I smirk and grab her tits. "Got 'em," I grin.
She places her hands on the ledges of the tub for support as she engulfs my dick. Shit- I love her. "Fuck, Kim- always soo good," I groan. "Hot and wet."
"For you, Baby," she says and my eyes have grown accustom to the dark somewhat. I can make out her form in the faint candlelight and it makes it better. These showers we've taken- this is actually the first one to turn porno. The others though- it was just nice to connect wit' her that way. We actually just- spent some quiet time with each other, brushing each other's bodies and feeling the other there. I can't believe I actually spent time *without* her.
"Felt so empty without you, Marsh," she whimpers as she comes down on my cock again.
*********
And the second he chuckles, I slap his face jokingly. "Dick."
"What?"
"I know, I know," I say, stilling my hips for a second. "It feels so EMpty without you," I mock his rhythm and tone from the song.
"You *know* it does," he says, placing his hands on my lower hips. "You know first hand how empty I leave you."
"If you say so," I say and *that* earns me a buck of the hips and whack on the ass. Yeah- you *never* wanna insult a guy's dick size.
"So c'mon- throw your hips into it," he pleads, already starting on my clit.
"Fuck, Marsh," I say, easily slipping into a quick pace on his cock. Fuck. He's gonna come inside me again and I couldn't really care less.
I clamp and tighten my muscles the next time I take him in and he inhales quickly through a bit lip. I can't really *see* him biting his lip- but I know he is. Okay- so the tub was a good idea. I can't spread my legs *too* much, so it's a bit… tighter, I guess. And his knees behind me put me at a different angle that's putting a lot of pressure on the top of my channel and it feels *really* good.
"Marsh," I whimper. I wanna come and my hips are moving more on their own than of my conscious thought because I close my eyes and only concentrate on feeling him come in and out of me and what it feels like with his fingers holding me open. Shizzie.
"Kim- do me right," he groans. "Soon," he says and I groan and I just lose track of when he comes and I come but somewhere in there my hips are bucking on his and he's pumping me full of his semen and when I open my eyes again, the water's gone practically cold.
"SHIIT!" Now it's *really* cold and I reach back and shut it off completely before getting up.
++++++++
That was nice, huh?
We use one of the wet cloths to clean off and she giggles a bit. "What?" I ask.
"Nuthin', just thinkin' it'd be *really* funny we decided we *wanted* another baby and then I couldn't get pregnant."
"It would?"
"Well- not funny ha-ha, but funny ironic."
"Oh." She steps out and turns the light on dim. "Do you… think of us having another one?"
"Of course I do, Marsh," she states. "All I ever *wanted* was to be the mother of your children."
And ya know- a lot of people think she's this horrible slut or something. People think she must be a terrible mother and that she's a horrible person and just wants to be wit' me for the money. But- she's not. I mean… we *used* to go out and party. We had a good time. But she's been a great mom.
"'Member when you was pregnant with Hai and we would play-"
"One day?"
"Yeah," I sigh. We used to play the 'one day we'll have' game. And even then, and younger, we'd always have like at least five kids.
I don't know why we gave up on that dream. I guess we just- weren't gonna bring *another* kid into the world when we couldn't even afford to keep *one* fed. And we really weren't- I mean, according to my mother, we planned on having Hailie to ruin *her* life. But we really weren't trying and we were normally pretty careful- but… like she says- it's when she least wants to get pregnant, that she *does*.
"Do… *you* think about having more?"
*********
I mean- I know he's *said* he only wanted Hailie, but we both know differently. We both know he always wanted a lot of kids. He's just- no one would think that he'd really be a family guy at heart, but I guess we yearn for the things we never had.
He doesn't say anything and just dries off and blows the candle out.
"Marsh?"
"I don't wanna talk about-"
"C'mon. *Do* you think about having more kids? Or did you change your mind?"
"You're the *only* person I would ever want kids with," he mumbles before heading out to our room. He pulls on a pair of boxers and climbs into bed. I should really make the bed one of these days… but anyhoo- that's besides the point.
"It was an accident," I say, pulling a t-shirt out from his drawer. I love wearing his t-shirts to bed.
"You still fuckin'- had his *baby*."
And he may *say* he's not jealous, but he very much *is* a jealous person. We both are and we wasted no time in flaunting it. Granted, I didn't *mean* to get pregnant. But- I did and I used it to hurt him.
I don't think this is so much a jealousy thing as a territorial thing. Like… somehow- when I first got pregnant with Rain- suddenly my vagina was only meant for him and our children. Like- he never came out and *said* it, but in his mind- I think that's what it meant. He didn't *like* the fact that Debbie and his grandmother had kids with several different men. And I think he *loathes* the idea of someone else's child growing inside me.
So I *know* it really *bothers* him that I had a child with someone else. Don't get me wrong, he *never* takes it out on Whitney. No matter what parents do or who they are- the kids aren't them. He's *never* taken my bad choices and held them against the kids.
So maybe *that's* why he's said he only wants the one. Am I tainted now? Another man's child came from me and now- is that stupid?
"Do you *want* more kids? *Our* kids?" Because I still do wanna be the mother of his children. It seriously is all I ever wanted. My mother wasn't a fuckin' mother to Dawn and me and *his* mom sure as hell wasn't *anything* resembling a mother.
Some girls grow up and wanna be doctors and lawyers. But me? Nope. From the very first second I saw him jumping around on the coffee table with the red hat he always wore, I *knew*. I actually remember having the thought 'there's the father of my children'.
I sure as hell wasn't planning on Eric or… the ONE freakin' *time*…
He doesn't say anything. He just pulls the covers over and turns his light off.
Fine. I do likewise and we lay there back to back for a few minutes before I can't take it.
"I didn't *mean* to hurt you," I confess. "I… *wished* Whitney were yours. I wished there'd been a way to say she was- or *make* her yours. But…"
"What if I adopted her?" I hear him mutter under his breath.
"WHAT?!" We *both* flip over for that.
"What if I adopted her and *made* her mine?"
"Marsh- what about-"
"He's not gonna get near her and you know it. He can't. She already calls me Daddy."
"Marshall- I just…"
"What?"
Shit. He's gonna be pissed about *this*, I *know*. "What if… Hailie was calling *him* Daddy? All those times that I took Hai and left- kept you from her… isn't that what I'm doing wit' Whitney?"
OHYEAH. There's that… hurt look. He's such a big softie. He gets hurt so easily. I blame his mother. Yeah- she hit him every now and then, but… words hurt so much worse and they were weapons with her. *That's* how he can battle and rhyme the way he can- he was crafting his greatest comeback.
He doesn't say anything. He just turns back over and pulls the covers up over his shoulder.
I know *exactly* what he's thinking and I'm not gonna let him think it. Before? I would have. And then I would have run around tomorrow and tried to *remind* him of it and thrown it in his face to hurt him. God- we used to *like* to hurt each other *so* much, but I've found I have little taste for it now.
I scoot toward him and wrap an arm around his frozen waist. "I don't *want* him, Marshall. I want *you*. I *love* *you*. I just- am wondering… especially *now* with Rain and… shouldn't a parent be able to *know* his kid?" I scoot a bit closer and leave my arm wrapped around him before cuddling to his back. He's still rigid. "I just don't know anymore, Marsh. I just- feel like I don't know anything anymore."
And that's all I've got to say, so I just close my eyes. But I can't get to sleep.
And about ten minutes later, I'm *so* relieved when he rolls over and pulls me half on top of him. And this time- I *do* fall asleep in his arms.
Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com
These stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.