Rain

WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT

Title : Rain
Pairing: Eminem/Kim
Summary: Em and Kim are trying work things out, meanwhile- fourteen year old Lily Rayne has problems of her own.

THE LIST OF PEEPS I LOVE: Diamond, Vibe, Jenn, Emily, Sarah, Casey, Ana, Maggie, Maria, Manda, April, Shan, Taz, Sammie, steph, dani, Christine and ryan. If I left you out, YELL at me. I wanna make sure we give props to EVERYONE who loves on me.

Eminem ++++++++ -------------

Kim ********* -------------

Lily Rayne ~~~~~~~~ ----------

38
-------------
*********

I can't help but smile.

Granted, I won't be smiling when he starts teething, but for now, there's just no feeling like cradling your newborn in your arms while he suckles your breast.

I sigh and I'd close my eyes but I just can't stop smiling.

Marshall and I have a son.

"Hey there," he says as he opens the door and comes in.

++++++++

Is it wrong that watching her breastfeed turns me on *just* a bit?

But I haven't had sex for two months now; watching her brush her *teeth* turns me on.

"How's my little man?" I ask as I kiss her forehead and then I kiss him and it's just amazing.

"He's hungry today," she smiles. "Arencha?

"He must know he's goin' home today."

"I know *I'm* excited," she says. "I miss my big comfortable bed and my gorgeous, sexy husband."

And fuck do I miss my *wife*.

I sit on the bed, one arm around *her* and the other just gently rubbing his head and he suckles her. "So we're really doing this again," I sigh.

"Looks like- we got our guy safely here, Marsh. He's *ours*."

"Yup," I say and kiss her cheek. "The girls were still bothering me about the name."

"Well, he just- he doesn't look like a Dylan, besides Dylan Michael Mathers just didn't sound right to me. I like Cody. I think it's a good name. Although I would have preferred-"

"I *know* what you would have preferred, but Marshall is a *terrible* *terrible* name," I say as she hands me him.

"Well, you don't seem to mind when I'm screaming it into your shoulder."

"Or neck. You scream it into my neck too. Sometimes my mouth… once my thigh…"

"All depends on what hole is busy, I suppose," she says and *fuck*.

*********

I can't believe I said that shit. I'm a mother for god sake!

"Kim," he says and I feel his finger stroking my arm. "How long before we-"

"I *just* gave birth! Jesus! Is that *all* you think with?!" God. He makes me so freakin' *mad* sometimes.

"I'm sorry. Shit- I just- it's been-"

"Get your brain out of your dick, Marshall. We have a *son* we have to worry about, especially if he turns out like his *father*."

Fuck. That hurt him.

"Marsh, I'm sorry, I-"

"It's okay," he shrugs.

"No, it's-" I slide an arm around his waist and lean against him. "It's not. I'm sorry. It's just these freakin' hormones, but I'm not even healed yet from-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I know I need to give you time to feel sexy again. I know the drill, I just- it's been a while since we-"

"I know," I sigh. "As soon as we can, I'll let you know."

"Kay," he says. "I love you."

"I love you too, Marshall. And I love our lil' man!" I say and look at him. He's just- *perfect*.

Well- *they* are. Both my men.

------------
~~~~~~~~

Hailie is *crazed* and Whitney is too, but Hailie is sugared up.

Dad found her sprawled out on the kitchen floor at six a.m. eating Oreo cereal and Peanut Butter Crunch.

Honestly thought, the novelty of being able to call her mommy and daddy 'Mommy and Daddy Mathers' hasn't worn off. I guess they underestimated how much their not being married affected her. She's also insanely happy now that her name change went through and she's officially no longer Hailie Jade Scott, but Hailie Jade Mathers and Whitney's name is now Mathers as well.

Hailie then proceeded to ask me why *my* last name wasn't Mathers and I had to say that I wanted to keep my other mommy's last name. And she didn't understand why I had to keep her name since I was a Mathers, because we're sisters.

I'm just glad Dad was there to interrupt that conversation before-

WOAH!!!!!! *Dad*?!

*DAD*?!

I'm calling him *Dad* now? I mean… I was before, to his face, but never in my *thoughts*. What does that *mean*?

Wow.

I *guess* it means he's really my dad, in my heart of hearts. True, our relationship is *not* going to be like his and Hailie's because he really has never had authority over me and I doubt he'd pull that 'no dating' crap with me, since a) I don't date and b) he doesn't really *authority* over me because he doesn't *need* it. Luckily for them, they gave a good away and got a good one back. I mean… I could have been a crackwhore opening this envelope only to find out my parents are these rich billionaires or something.

Me as a crackwhore. I have to laugh at *that*.

"Where go Dada?" Whitney asks, tugging on my shirt. "Where go Mama?"

"They'll be here soon, Whit. They're at the hospital."

"Hopsital?"

I laugh. "Yeah, at the hopsital. Why don't you draw them a picture!" I suggest. She *loves* coloring. Granted, her pictures are basically just scribbles but they're good scribbles!

"Yeah!" She says and wobbles over to the table where her paper and crayons are.

"When will they *be* here, Lily?" Hailie whines and throws herself onto the couch.

"Should be soon. She was being released at noon, and it's almost one. Should be soon unless they had to stop somewhere for baby stuff."

"What more do we *need*? They've got *every*thing!"

"They'll *be* here," I sigh and flop down next to her. "Relax, okay?"

She sighs and leans against me. "I'm glad you're my sister."

"Me too," I smile.

"Do you-" she starts but stops.

"No, what?"

"Were you- are you mad?"

"Mad about what?"

"At Mommy and Daddy? For giving you away? Is that why you won't get Daddy's last name?"

Shit. "Hailie, I- maybe I was a little mad for a bit, but that has nothing to do with why I'm not going to change my name." How do I explain this to an eight year old? "Okay, Hailie. Do this for me, okay? Close your eyes and try and think about how much you love your mom. Think about all the times she'd held you when you were sad and when you cut yourself. Think about all the times she made you soup or made cookies with you or how many times you lay on the bed and just tickle and laugh. Think about all the times you've curled up with her to watch movies or gone shopping with her. You remember all that?"

"Uh huh," she smiles.

"Could you ever forget your mom?"

"What?!" She asks startled and sits up quickly to look at me.

"Could you ever forget all that?"

"NO! She's my mom!"

"Well, Hailie, until less than a year ago- I had another mother who did all that for me and I can't- I don't *want* to forget *her*."

She nods and I think she finally gets it.

I think I'm getting it too.

"Was she nice?" She asks and she leans against me again.

"She was *really* nice."

"Did she make cookies?"

"We made Christmas cookies every year and gave them away to our friends."

"Did she make you clean your room?"

"Yup. Every Saturday."

"Did she hold you when you were sick?"

"Yeah," I say, trying not to cry in front of her. Shit.

"Do you- d'you miss her?"

Oh shit. *That* does it. I just start crying.

++++++++

"Okaaaaay, Mommy. I've got baby stuff and you've got baby."

"I got baby," she says as I open the door and we walk inside.

"Hailie, Lily, Whitney! We're home!" I say as we head for the living room and- "What happened?!" I ask. Shit. Lily's crying. "Hailie what-"

*********

Oh my god. I start crying too when I see how Hailie's holding Lily and running her fingers through her hair.

"She misses her mommy," Hailie says softly.

"Oh," I say and Marsh takes Cody from me and I sit next to Lily on the couch. "Lil?" I ask and touch her shoulder and I suddenly find myself with my fourteen year old in my arms, sobbing on my shoulder. "It's okay, Sweetie," I say, but I have no idea what to say or why she's crying.

++++++++

Hailie looks… upset and Whitney's just oblivious to this and Cody is starting to get fussy and Lily is crying and I haven't had sex with my wife in months.

Welcome to parenthood.

Christ, are we *ready* to have *four* kids?

Guess we shoulda thought about that before shaggin' like bunnies without protection.

Damn, I miss sex.

Okay. Daddy-time. I'm a dad right now, *not* a teenager.

"Hailie? C'mere, Baby," I say and head into the family room. I sit in a comfy chair and Cody nestles into the crook of my neck and that baby smell hits me. *Shit* I missed that smell.

"I didn't *mean* to, Daddy, honest!"

"Mean to what?"

"I just- I asked if she missed her mommy. I didn't mean to make her cry, honest, I didn't."

"Oh, Hai, it's-" I pull her into my lap. "It's not your fault, Baby. Lily just- she's got a lot of stuff to deal with inside, ya know? Sometimes people get sad and need to cry."

"Doesn't she like us no more?" She sniffles.

"Oh, of *course* she does. That's not it at all, okay? She just- sometimes, when someone dies… you miss them and sometimes you just need to remember how much you loved them. Okay?"

"Do *you* cry sometimes?"

"About what, Baby?"

"Uncle Ronnie," she says softly and yeah, she's just battin' a hundred today, isn't she?

Because I *was* thinking about how much he woulda *loved* me havin' a son. His grandnephew. "Every year, Baby, on his birthday and on the day he-"

Fuck. And apparently now.

"See? Even Daddy's can cry, Hai. Crying is okay."

I always *hated* when my mom would make me feel guilty for crying.

"Can I- is it okay if I cry for *Lily's* mommy?"

"Yeah, Hai, it's okay."

*********

She stopped crying a bit ago but I just keep rubbing her back.

I wish I could ease her pain. I wish I could *stop* her pain, but I can't. I don't have the power. I'm not her- I bet her- I bet her *mother* would have known ex*act*ly what to say and do. I bet her mom would have been *way* more helpful in this situation. I bet her mom would have known exactly how to help her with her homework and what to say when she calls up crying about some girl being mean and taking her paper topic out from under her nose.

What do *I* know?

"Lily?" I ask. "You okay, Baby?"

"Yeah, I just-" she sighs. "Can you just… hold me?"

Ohfuck. I think I'm crying. "Of course, of course," I say and hold her tighter.

"Thanks," she sniffles. "My mom always used to-"

"Did Hailie *say* something? I know she- Marsh said she brought up the name thing before-"

"Yeah, she's just- being curious. Wanted to know why I wouldn't wanna be a Mathers and I just- I told her to imagine all the things she loves about you and told her to forget them all. Ya know- to just… no one knows what it's like. I mean… and I'm one of the *lucky* kids- I got a new family. Some kids lose parents and don't *have* anyone else that cares about them."

"Been thinking a lot about-"

"God, I'm a *terrible* daughter, Kim!" She pulls away from me and looks at me. "Christmas came and went and I-"

She stops herself and looks away.

"You what, Lily?"

"I didn't even- I didn't even *cry*. We didn't roast marshmallows like we always did on Christmas Eve and we didn't have a cartoon fest Christmas morning and there are all these *things* I won't *ever* do again!"

She's crying again.

"And I didn't feel guilty about it!" She says. "I was *happy*!"

"Lily?" I ask and she looks at me. "I don't- I never met her, but… when we gave you up, all we wanted was for you to be *happy*. I bet that's all she wanted too."

"She *said* that- *so* many times when she was sick," she says and pulls her feet up under her. "But back then, I couldn't imagine a life without her. We did *every*thing together. She was- she made her world. It seems… *wrong* if I refer to her as my 'other' mom."

"Lily, I *don't* want to- I don't wanna take her place, Lily. I *don't*. I wish there was a way I could fix this for you. You don't- she's your mom, okay? I accept that. You shouldn't forget her. But at the same time," I brush a hair of hers back behind her ear. "You can't forget yourself *either*. You gotta… gotta believe she'd be happy if you were happy on Christmas. Think she'd want you crying for the rest of your life?"

~~~~~~~~

"I *know* it's just… I missed her, but I didn't- I wasn't *sad*. That's wrong, isn't it? Wrong that I didn't cry on Christmas, or Thanksgiving or any of these days that were so important to her. God, I haven't even- haven't gone to visit her or take flowers or *any*thing. It just-"

I don't know. I guess I feel guilty for not feeling sad.

Things are just… confusing.

"I'm sorry, I don't have the answers, Lily. I wish I did. Maybe… do you want to- *go*? To see her? Kinda cold, but I bet Marsh would-"

"Can we call Marcie? Ask if she'd-"

"Of course. Yes," she nods.

"Thanks, Kim. I know I'm a basketcase and you're probably *really* tired from-"

"Are you kidding? You got the basketcase gene from *me* and us basketcases gotta stick together," she smiles and I do too as I wipe my eyes. "So… ice cream sundaes?"

"Yeah, that would be good."

She stands up and I hug her again. "Thanks."

"Every now and then, you need a good cry. Cleans the system, ya know."

++++++++

"He's so cute," Hailie says. "So small."

"He looks big in *your* arms," I say. She sitting right next to me, my arm around her, helping her to support his head. "So… you happy with your brother?"

"Yeah, he looks so red though."

"He will be for a bit, while he gets used to being in the world."

"Why didn't we name him Dylan, Dad? We called him Dylly all the time!"

"I know, but we wanted him to start with a brand *new* name, one we hadn't used to argue about if he was a girl or boy with, ya know? And Cody is a cute name."

"Better than *Marsh*all, *that's* for sure," she rolls her eyes.

"*Hey!* That's *my* name!"

"And it's a horrible one, Daddy."

"I know," I sigh. "Your mom don't believe me though."

"Hey, how's my man?" I look up to see Kim and Lily standing in the doorway, Whitney in Lily's arms.

"Which one?" I ask.

"The most important," she smirks.

"He's good. Hai and I changed him."

"Putting her to work already?"

"Hey- if you've got hand-eye coordination, you're changing diapers. Soon as Whitney's got muscle control- she'll be doin' it too."

"She isn't even potty trained!"

"Then she can do him and herself all in one shot."

"DADDY!" Hailie scolds me. "That's *not* very nice."

"Fine, fine," I relent. "Everything… okay?"

"Yeah," Lily nods. "Thanks."

"We thought we needed ice cream!" Kim says. "We still got the whip cream and chocolate syrup, don't we?"

"Yup," I answer, although I was *hoping* to spread that on her- *damn*. Right.

Daddy-Marshall.

*Right*.

~~~~~~~~

Kim takes Whitney from me and Dad takes Cody with him, leaving Hailie in the chair *not* looking at me.

"I didn't *mean* to… make you sad," she says softly, looking at her fingers.

Shit.

I'm on my knees in front of her in a second and I've placed my hands over hers. "Aw, Hai-Hai, you *didn't*, okay?"

"But I-"

I stop her by placing my hand on her chin and making her look at me. "You *didn't*. And when I was crying, you made me feel better."

"I *did*?" She asks, her eyes growing a bit larger.

"Of *course*. You held me and petted my head, didn't you?"

"I did!"

"See? You helped me feel better."

"I'm… sad about your mommy too. Can I be sad about your mommy too?"

"Well… I'm gonna try and not be sad, so maybe we should try to laugh together, huh?"

She nods and throws her arms around me.

God. Two sisters and a baby brother.

Mom woulda been happy.

Chapter 39

Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com

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These stories are for entertainment purposes only.  They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character.  No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.