Rain
WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT
Title : Rain
Pairing: Eminem/Kim
Summary: Em and Kim are trying work things out, meanwhile- fourteen year old Lily Rayne has problems of her own.AUTHOR'S NOTES: I will NOT be address Kim's niece who is supposedly living with them. For the purposes of this, she doesn't exist in their home permanently. 1) I don't want to complicate things MORE. 2) Some sources say her name is Amy others say it's Aidan. 3) I'm the author and it's my right! It's fanfic! :-) I will *also* not really be addressing Nathan *too* much. He may pop up- but he's not living with them either. ALSO I am assuming the book "Cleanin' Out My Closet" is a load of crap since that's what the man himself said. So any information J.R. Watkins said about Kim or Em and their relationship does not apply here.
ONE MORE THING!!! This fiction is color coded for ease of reading since there are three main characters!! Anytime you see (------), it means time has passed. Here's the KEY:
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++++++++I am *so* happy I was able to get home early. I was supposed to be back on Saturday, at the latest Sunday, but it's Friday and I'm almost home. I doubt Paul would approve of me driving a rental car home, but what Paul doesn't know, he'll find out and be mad about later. Whatever.
I gotta get home.
I was so fuckin' happy when my phone rang on Tuesday and it was Hai and not Kim tellin' me she was movin' out or sumin'. Hai was all in tears about how she doesn't hate me and how sorry she was and I wish I coulda just hugged her, but I couldn't and it killed me.
And Kim was even pleasant when Hai was done talkin'. She said her and the girls were okay and that they was lookin' forward to me comin' home.
Soooo…I figure that by the time I fall asleep tonight, I'll have a fiancée again.
I wave to John, one of our security guards that mans the gate at the end of the driveway, and he buzzes the gate for me to enter.
As I drive up the driveway, I see Hailie's face when she looks up and realizes it's me. She comes tearin' down the driveway with Whitney wobbling behind. She's been walkin' for about five months now, but she's still shaky outside.
I look a bit beyond them and see Kim stretched out on a blanket on the grass.
"DADDY!" Hailie screams as I throw the car door open. "You're early!"
"Well, I promised, didn't I?" I ask.
I get out of the car and she throws herself around my waist. Shit I missed her. I sink down to my knees so I can pull her into my arms. "I'm so sorry, Daddy," she whimpers and just keeps repeating.
"It's okay, Baby," I whisper and pet her head. "'Sokay. I forgive you." She nods and I'm glad. That's very important *I* think, telling your kids you forgive 'em when they do shit wrong. I never got that.
And then I tickle her and she screams and runs off. I sweep Whitney up and blow a raspberry on her cheek.
"Dada! Top!" She giggles. Shit. I love that sound.
"Neva!" I tell her playfully before doing it again.
"Me dow!"
"Down?"
"Dow!" She nods with a big smile. She's so cute when she tries to be authoritative.
"Okay, okay," I say before putting her down. She toddles off after Hailie. Damn, I love that kid. It's shocking really because I didn't think I *could*, but I *do*, like she's my own flesh and blood.
I approach Kim hesitantly. "Hey," I greet her.
"You're early," she says with a smile. Well- that's reassuring. So I sit on the blanket next to her. Fuck. I wanna kiss her. I don't care. I'm goin' for broke and if she smacks me, she smacks me. At least I'll know where I stand.
"Yeah, well, I wanted to see my family," I say. I lean over and place a hand on her stomach before kissing it softly.
*Shit*.
*********
I touch the back of his head softly and he jumps a bit startled but I guide his neck up until his lips are in front of mine and I kiss him.
Fuck.
He responds to my lips and his hand slides around me to my back and his body slides closer to me so he can deepen the kiss. He pushes his tongue into my mouth and licks the roof of my mouth before rolling his tongue against mine.
I feel his other hand on my side and I run my fingers through his hair as we kiss. His hair's a bit long; I'm surprised he hasn't cut it yet.
When he finally pulls away, he just rests his forehead against mine and if on cue, we *both* say, "I'm sorry," in unison.
God. I just hug him.
"DADDY!" Hailie yells. "Look what I found!" I let him go and we watch Hailie as she runs toward us carrying a frog. Great. I've got Bill Nye the Science Guy for a kid.
"Wow! Look at it!" He says with mock enthusiasm.
Yeah, we're city kids through and through I guess.
"Just don't- get too close," he warns her.
"Why? Doncha wanna touch it? He's cool!"
"NO!" He says.
"I don't want him on the blanket, Hai," I tell her and she nods and runs off to put him back in the pond. "You… want a sandwich? We had a little picnic, but there's stuff left over."
"Yeah, sure," he says and things are still- I'm still mad, but-
"I'm sorry I was a bitch."
"I'm sorry I'm an ass."
++++++++
Shit. I just wanna- wanna kiss her again because that was *nice*.
She touches my lips and there's sumin' incredibly sexy about the way she does it- all soft and sweet. "We'll talk later," she says.
"Yeah," I say. "We *have* to." *I* have to.
But for now, Hai and Whit wanna play so I jump up and start chasin' 'em.
Yeah. This is nice. I can't lose them.
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"Here, Baby, take these too," I say and hand her some napkins for the popcorn.
"Kay, thanks!"
"Welcome," I say, rubbing her head a bit.
"DAD! You mess up my hair!"
"Sorry, Baby,"
Okay. Whitney is napping and now Hailie's watchin' the Little Mermaid. So we should be good to not be disturbed for at least an hour.
I open our bedroom door and shit. She's layin' down. Fuck. She's tired. I guess I'll go down and-
"I'm not asleep," she states quietly and raises her head to look at me. "Just wanted to lay down."
"Back hurting?"
"A bit. We were just up early."
"Oh, okay, I'll-"
"Lay with me?" She asks and I practically fly across the room and have her in my arms.
*********
I sigh as his arms wrap around me and I shift my weight so I'm leaning back against him with pillows supporting my stomach.
"Kim, I'm sorry. You're not a slut. I can't believe I said that."
"I haven't been unfaithful, Marsh," I say. Sure, in the past we *both* were, but not this time.
"Aim to kill," he says. "'Swhat we do."
I wrap my arm around his arm and hold him too. "I'm still mad," I tell him.
"Kim, I never… shit- I mean… I meant it when I got it, but- I guess I just didn't think how much it must *hurt* you."
"Well what did you expect?" I ask, rather calmly. "I mean… why is it important? Publicity? For your rep?"
"No. I just-"
"What?"
"Not what it *says* now, but I just think it looks cool."
"So out of *vanity*, you're going to-"
"No. I-"
"What?"
"I changed it."
I pull away from him and roll over. "What? You changed it?" I ask. I'm confused.
"Yeah," he says and pulls his shirt up to expose his bandaged stomach. Ohgod. I'm- I swear if it's Rot In Pieces II, I'll *kill*. I'll actually *murder* him. He pulls the bandage off carefully and-
++++++++
God I hope this doesn't make her madder. I hope she don't take it the wrong way. I hope she- shit. I just hope.
She scooches down the bed to take a closer look and-
Well, she ain't screamin'. That's a good sign. Right?
"Well?" I ask.
"I don't… understand."
"You… like it?" I look down. I went to my tattoo guy and I had him change the 'I' in 'Kim' into an 'and' sign. Rot In Pieces K & M.
"I don't get it," she says.
"I just… I mean- we ain't the people we were when I *got* it. Thought maybe it was time to bury all that shit once and for all. I mean… that makes sense to *me*. You ain't… mad, are ya?"
Of course I had to *ask* right?
"Well, ya know- the fact that you weren't gonna do anything until I said I was leaving and-"
"And if you'd *listened* to me before I left, I woulda explained that I had called my guy a few weeks ago and wanted to surprise you!"
"Oh."
"Yeah," I say. "that's why Dre and I chose this week to work on shit."
"Oh."
"But *you* didn't give a shit."
"Oh."
"If you're just gonna keep sayin' that, this is gonna be a long, boring conversation."
*********
Oh.
I gotta say… I like… I mean- the tattoo… it's… it makes sense. Nice sentiment.
I crawl back up the bed and lay down so I'm looking at him.
Shit. "This is all *my* fault, huh?"
"Yup, Yeah, basically," he answers. At least he's honest, huh? "But I guess I coulda told ya sooner and just come out wit' it."
"I wouldn'ta listened or believed you."
"I know, but- I coulda told you a month ago and it still woulda been a surprise."
"I'm sorry," I repeat. Shit.
"Me too," he answers.
"Marsh?"
"Yeah?" He asks, those gorgeous blue eyes sparkling a bit.
"You realize this is like- the third major argument that ended with talking and not fucking. Doncha?"
"Oh," he says. "I was *really* hoping to get fucked."
"You will," I grin. "But usually that comes first."
"You can come first," he says with a wink. I just pucker my lips and blow him a kiss.
And then he opens his arms to me and I slide over to him quickly and he wraps his arms around me and we just hug each other tightly.
After a while, he slips a hand under my shirt and just rubs my back. I sigh and relax against his body. I've never felt safer anywhere else besides his arms.
"Marsh?"
"Yeah?"
"I've been thinking," I say as I kiss his neck softly. I missed his skin under my lips.
"Uh huh?"
"We just- what if we… I mean… it'd be sad if we *need* to fight like this every few months, wouldn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I *mean*," I say and pull away reluctantly, "what if every few months we have to tear into each other? I don't wanna- I mean- I hate it, but fighting is in our blood. It's… what we're best at, ya know? What kind of… foundation is that? For marriage?"
"WOAH!" He states and practically jumps up in a sitting position. "You don't wanna get married now?"
"No, Marshall, I just- I don't know. If we know we're gonna-"
"STOP this!" He exclaims. "Haven't we already decided this, Kim? We're better together than apart? Didn't we already decide that? You can't just-"
"Listen to what I'm saying, " I tell him. Fuck. He's getting that wounded-Marshall look in his eyes. Fuck, I hate that look. I sit up and take his hands in mine. "I'm just saying- what good is it to be arguing all the time?"
"WE DON'T! We're *not*! Kim, Baby, I can't *lose* you."
++++++++
FUCK. NO! I can't- I mean… what is she saying? That she might not wanna *be* with me? I can't take that. I can't let that happen! I won't let her leave this time. She's… I just *can't*. I know I won't survive! I *barely* survived the *last* time.
I mean- OH! THE SONG!
"Please- wait- don't- I made a song!" I jump up and dive to my knees in front of my unpacked suitcase. I get the CD out and turn to her. "It's not-"
"I know," she answers.
"Good, 'cause we didn't need to have *that* argument again," I tell her as I walk over to the stereo. Shit. I can't *lose* her. "Kim… you- I can't-" I hit play and just wait for the beat. I can't lose her, not now when I've grown accustomed to her again, not when I love her so fuckin' much.
*********
Shit. I don't *want* to be right, but… I hate fighting with him as much as I love it and that scares me. More so now. We have three children that are depending on us and Whitney calls him Dada now and… what will it do if it doesn't *work* this time?
I lock eyes with him as the music starts. It's like this… waltzy-rock angry-sad beat. He just… he keeps amazing me with what he came up with. And they've got this haunting, sad kind of melody behind it.
When the words start, his lips move along with them as we stare at each other.
//Why do we keep tearin' it down and rippin' to shreds,
When we should be buildin' it up and keep the roof on our heads?
Why is it easy to keep creatin' the pain?
When all we really want is to stop the rain?//He goes on to basically… describe our *entire* relationship and how we argue and fight and fuck and love and it's all… "Why we gotta always love with the passion of adults and the temper of teens? When we got everything we wanted and you should be livin' like queens?"
And that's true. We *do* love very passionately and we fight with the same passion. I guess to us, loving and fighting or hating almost bleed together.
"We gotta stop tearin' down. And start buildin' up from the ground," he finishes.
I'm like… in *tears* when he kneels on the bed in front of me.
"Kim, we ain't these people anymore," he points at his stomach. "So what? We argue! People argue, Kim. We feel it comin' on, we get the kids out and just go for it. We understand now that it's just… *part* of it now, but inside? At the core? We *love* each other, Kim. That's all that counts. *Please*, Baby, I can't… I won't survive if you leave me."
"Marshalll…"
++++++++
"Kim, *please*. I tried livin' witouchu before and I couldn't *do* it," I say, taking her face in my hands. I kiss her lips softly. "I love you, Kim. I *need* you."
She kisses me back, her tongue slipping into my mouth sensuously. *Fuck*. She wraps her arms around my waist and up my back under my shirt and just runs her fingers gracefully over my back. *Shit*. She *knows* that makes me crazy.
Fuck. I move so I'm over her, my knees holding me off the baby on either side of her and her body is *so* responsive to me. I love when the slightest touch of her fingers can make her whole body tingle.
She pulls away slowly and licks my top lip before her mouth completely leaves mine. "I need you too, Marsh. I'm just scared."
"Don't be," I say and reach over to the nightstand where I left the ring. I get it out and lay right beside her on my side. "Kim, you gotta- no. It *is* scary. I'll agree. It's scary that we have the power to hurt each other as much as we do. But along with that, we also love way more than a lotta people do." I show her the ring and continue. "I wanchu ta be my wife. That's- I mean- that means we're gonna have to *trust* us- not just each other, but we're gonna have to trust what we have between us and the fact that we're way stronger than we think and somehow we just- keep comin' back to each other and we just gotta trust that it ain't by chance. Now, will you put this back on your finger and be my wife again?"
"Yes," she says through tears. Pregnant women are *so* weepy.
But FINALLY! I slip the ring back on her finger and we're just about to kiss when the door opens.
"Mommy?"
*********
"Yeah, Hailie?" I ask, raising my head.
"Mommy, why are you cryin'? Are we… leaving? Again?"
God no, Hailie. "No, Baby, Daddy and I were just talking."
She crawls up the bed and flops down on top of his side. "Why are ya cryin' then? 'Cause I don't *wan*cha to get another divorce."
"Hailie, I think maybe we should talk, okay?" She nods her head. "Daddy and I can't get a divorce because we're not married again, okay?" She nods.
"Are you *gonna* get married?" I hold up my hand to show her the ring and she squeals and pounces on me. "THE PROMISE RING!'
"HAILIE!" Marsh practically yells. "The baby! Be careful of Ally."
"Dylly," I correct him.
"Ally."
"Dylan."
"Alison."
"You two are *driv*ing me *crrrraaaazy*!" She says, rolling her eyes melodramatically.
"Okay, okay. We'll just… wait and see, okay?"
She nods and curls up against me, between us, spooning her body around the baby. "Mommy? When is Lily comin' home?"
"Hai, we've-" shit "you *know* this isn't Lily's home."
"I *know*, but… it's *our* home and when she comin'?"
"When she can, Hai. She's got a lot of work to do, ya know? School's hard for her and-" I quiet my voice and look over her head at him. I can't help but smile. "Marshall?" I ask quietly, but he doesn't open his eyes. "Daddy's asleep," I whisper softly. Wonder if he got any sleep at all the past few days. I *know* when he's worried about shit he just doesn't sleep. "C'mon, we'll go down and make cookies for when he wakes up, okay?"
"YAY!" She cheers softly. We get up and on the way down the stairs, I glance down at the ring and just smile. Yeah, I can trust this.
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~~~~~~~~I have been reading the same fucking paragraph for the past twenty minutes.
The wall is practically shaking. I swear they've been playing that fuckin' Linkin' Park CD *all* afternoon. Not that I don't like it… but-
SHIT.
I glance at the clock. Four o'clock on fuckin' *Friday* and I haven't gotten a *thing* done and they fuckin' woke me up at *eight* this morning for pancakes in the cafeteria.
FUCK.
I *have* to get stuff *done*.
It's too late to go to Miami and… shit.
I can't stay *here*.
I pick up the phone and dial the phone number.
++++++++
I stretch out on the bed as I open my eyes and- oh yeah. Kim an' me are engaged again. Everything is *finally* working out.
Okay. I should prolly get- do I smell cookies?
Aiight, maybe I get a *little* excited about cookies, but I run downstairs into the kitchen to find Kim takin' cookies off the cookie sheet and puttin' 'em on the wax paper on the counter. Meanwhile, Hai's dropping more dough on another sheet.
"Morning," I say.
"It's like… four o'clock, Marsh."
"Ug. Feels like morning. There coffee?"
"Make some," she says.
I walk over and reach for one of the cookies and she smacks my hand with the hot spatula. "OW! That's hot!"
"And I'll hit ya again if you try and steal another," she warns and the phone rings.
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"Hello, Mathers' house of Pain."
"Um… hi?"
"Lily! Shit!"
"MARSHALL!" I hear Kim yell. "Hi, Sweetie! What's goin' on?" She greets me.
"Are you- I can call back."
"No, no, he's just being an ass. What's up?"
*********
I slap him for good measure. Putz.
I wasn't really expecting to hear from her. We haven't heard much from her since she started school really, which is what we were expecting. She's sent a couple letters and we've talked at least once a week. I really think she's stressed though. She's supposed to be here for Columbus weekend in October. The girls have been counting down the days.
"I was wondering if- I mean, if you're not busy, if I could- come there… this weekend."
"Sure- of course! Why- you don't even gotta *ask*, Lily."
"I know, but… thanks."
"Marsh'll make the calls right now."
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++++++++"Hey!" I greet her and give her a big hug. Before we climb into the limo.
"I *really* appreciate you doin' all this- I mean… the private plane and limo and shit- it's really not necessary," she says.
"You're our daughter. 'Course it is."
"Thanks. I just- shit. I'm screwing this up *really* bad."
"What? How so?"
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Ya know I already feel better. How weird is that?
"I just… whipping back and forth between Miami and here is just- god. I'm falling asleep in class. *Me*! And I thought I'd get work done this weekend so I stayed at school and it's worse than being at home. I mean- at least they *try* and keep Jess away, but she's always so excited to- it's just harder than I thought it'd be."
"Most things worth having *are*, Lily. Look at me and Kim- it's certainly not the easiest thing and we sure as hell didn't do a great job of it the first time. But… we're working harder now and it's payin' off."
"Yeah, I guess. I just- I'm *really* fucking things up. It's just *really* hard."
"Lily?"
"Yeah?" I ask, turning away from the window to look at him.
"You don't- I mean… don't feel you *have* to, but- your room is *yours*. You can… use it, whenever you want. I mean- if it's… easier for you to-"
"What?"
++++++++
I don't wanna scare her off or anything, but I really don't think we're in that place anymore.
"You could just move in."
"Huh?"
"Come every weekend. We'll keep the girls away if you need to get stuff done. We've got *tons* of space. You'd definitely be able to find a quiet place to work. Hell- we can move a desk into one of the studio rooms if you need it really quiet. I mean- you don't gotta *ask* to come over. You're *always* welcome."
"I know," she states, "but I just- sometimes feel like… I'm intruding or-"
"*NEVER*!" I state loudly. "*Never*, Lily. You're family. Relatives are not intruders and sure as hell not *daughters*."
"I'll think about it," she says and I nod. Good enough for now.
Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com
These stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.