Rain
WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT
Title : Rain
Pairing: Eminem/Kim
Summary: Em and Kim are trying work things out, meanwhile- fourteen year old Lily Rayne has problems of her own.AUTHOR'S NOTES: I will NOT be address Kim's niece who is supposedly living with them. For the purposes of this, she doesn't exist in their home permanently. 1) I don't want to complicate things MORE. 2) Some sources say her name is Amy others say it's Aidan. 3) I'm the author and it's my right! It's fanfic! :-) I will *also* not really be addressing Nathan *too* much. He may pop up- but he's not living with them either. ALSO I am assuming the book "Cleanin' Out My Closet" is a load of crap since that's what the man himself said. So any information J.R. Watkins said about Kim or Em and their relationship does not apply here.
ONE MORE THING!!! This fiction is color coded for ease of reading since there are three main characters!! Anytime you see (------), it means time has passed. Here's the KEY:
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"Here," he hands me a pamphlet. "A casino across the bridge in Canada. We could go."
"HOLY SHIT!" I throw my hand to his forehead. "No- that's fine." I take his face in my hands and look right into his eyes. "Whad you do with Marshall? *You* can't be him- not the stingiest person *I* know."
"Ha ha," he rolls his eyes. "Wanna go or not?"
"Dunno," I shrug. I have *no* idea what's gonna go on this weekend.
The limo stops and he holds my hand in the elevator on the way up to our suite. And can we say HOLY SHIT?! The place is fuckin' amazing! It's *huge* and the bed is… the largest bed I've ever seen. Dark blue comforter too, which will match the lace teddy I bought. Although- Marsh really isn't a huge lingerie guy, I like wearing them, even if it it's only for a few minutes before he rips it off me.
He hands the bellboy a twenty and as much as he has, he winces. It's engrained into his bones. Money doesn't grown on trees. That was Debbie's favorite saying along with "shut the fuck up."
"So?" He asks, throwing his carry-on onto the floor. "Pretty fuckin' amazing, huh?"
"Yeah- it's… *really* nice." God- it's beautiful. He grabs my hand and pulls me over to the window.
"Check it out!"
"It's… breathtaking."
I've never seen Niagara Falls and we can see the Canadian side of it out our window.
"*You're* breathtaking," he says softly before slipping his arms around me. I sigh as he rests his chin on my shoulder. "I love you so much, Kim," he whispers.
"I love you too, Marsh," I reply. It's too true. I sometimes wonder if perhaps the problem is that we love each other *too* much.
"Is it enough?" He asks.
++++++++
I mean- we *want* it to be enough, but is it? Is love enough to keep us together? TO keep us from killing each other? I used to think so but I'm not that naïve now.
Even if I *wasn't* 'Eminem' and I was just some piece of trailer trash- it might not be enough to keep a marriage together. It might not *ever* be enough for the long haul and maybe we shoulda talked about this *before* she moved back in. God- if it's *not* enough, Hailie'll be devastated.
"I hope so," she answers after a few minutes. "I wanna *believe* it will be but, I don't know."
So I just hold her for a few minutes as we watch the water pouring over the falls.
I don't even know where to *start*. I mean… we've never done this before. We've fought and argued and even screamed. We're not proud of it, but we've also slapped and she even kicked me in the nuts once. It was actually her twenty-first birthday and she was drunk and thought she saw me kissing some other girl. And fuck- I was drunk too and that *still* hurt like a motherfucker for *days* afterward.
<Ring. Ring.>
I sigh and she grabs her purse before fishing out her cell. "Hello?" She answers. "Hi, Betty… oh? She does?… yeah- it's fine. We just got here anyway. Put her on-"
We told Hailie we were going away and she got really upset. She thought it was like a tour and then we told her we just needed to have some time to work out some Mommy/Daddy things.
She's so happy now, I think. I mean- for the past year- Kim and I haven't fought *once*. Not major like we used to. We've had a few disagreements, but not any blow-out fights or nuthin'. I'm nervous about that actually. What if that's where all the fire and passion came from? What if, outside of that, we've only got a teenage love for each other? What if it's not enough?
"Oh yeah? Well- I'll tell him you said that, Miss Jade." She takes off her jacket and continues talking for another few minutes before handing the phone to me. "Your daughter, Sir."
"Hey, Baby!"
"DADDY! Guess what? Justin tried to *kiss* me today!"
"WHAT?!" *NO* fuckin' little *BOY* is gonna kiss *MY* daughter!
"Calm down, Daddy! I yelled at him and told everyone he had cooties!"
"Good girl," I sigh. Man- I'ma have to lock her *up* when she's fourteen. From fourteen to thirty-five, I'm the only one who'll be allowed to see her.
*********
I'm *sure* he's plotting out how he'll keep our daughter from having any contact with males during her teens and twenties. I can just *see* the wheels in his head turning.
Well- he's gonna be talking to her for a while, so I might as well unpack a little bit.
I open my suitcase and carry the plastic bag of shampoo and shit into the bathroom. OH FUCK. I forgot the condoms. FUCK. He'll have to buy some I guess.
"Okay, Baby. Mama and I love you and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?… Yeah- okay then, before bedtime. I promise. Okay, Sweetie?"
He smooshed his head against mine so I can hear her. "Bye, Mommy! Bye, Daddy!"
"Bye, Hailie. We love you," we say and then he hangs it up and hands it to me.
"So-" he says.
"So-" I repeat.
"Maybe we shoulda gone to marriage counselor or something," he says.
"Why? We're not married," I state and I think that came out a lot more… hostile than I had intended it to.
"Kim… do you *want* to be married?" Wow. I guess we're just gonna jump right into it then? No passing go, we're just going directly to Hell.
"Well what *am* I, Marsh? Your girlfriend? Maid? Fuck toy? Where am I in your life?"
"You said you didn't *wanna* get married."
"Because *you* don't," I say. "C'mon- let's me honest. You don't wanna marry me again so what the fuck *am* I? Your significant other? Or-"
"What?" He asks. "Just say it."
"Or am I just convenient?"
"Is that-" he's shocked. I can see it. But we said we'd be honest. "That what you *feel*?"
"I don't *want* to, but- when I said you never appreciated me, Marsh- I wasn't talking about sex. I didn't mean you should ask permission to touch me. I meant… GOD. This shouldn't be this HARD!" I mean- JESUS! I've known him for FIFTEEN years! He was the first guy I ever kissed and the first one I ever touched or slept with and this should NOT be hard. He's… it's just Marshall! Why can't we talk about this shit?!
"C'mere," he says and grabs my hand. He pulls me onto the bed and we sit, Indian style, facing each other. "We gotta figure a way to do this shit, Kim. If… we wanna *not* fight anymore… if we want this to work and build a relationship- we gotta figure out how to talk about this shit."
"I *know*," I say and look at him. "Okay… I meant… I mean- after Cancun- you never wanted to take me anywhere. You… stopped taking an interest in me. I mean- you say I'm pretty and you still… enjoy me. But- I didn't see that."
"Is that- why you were kissing *him*?" Ohboy. "I gotta *know*, Kim. I gotta… understand."
++++++++
And *that's* the truth. We never talked about that either. Everything was too crazy that year. We were fighting constantly and I had all the publicity for the Marshall Mathers LP and then we got divorced and it never seemed important to talk about. We just- ignored it. We've *been* ignoring it for the past six months.
"Make me understand. I wanna- *know*."
She sighs and… I *know* she wasn't the only one kissing other people. Yeah- like I'm gonna share *that* on a CD. But… it's true. I kissed other people too, but I believed her when she said it never went beyond that. He never touched her anywhere else- except her mouth. Same with me. Never had the guts to fuck someone else when we were still together. But after we split- it didn't stop us from throwing other people in each other's faces. God- we hurt each other too much.
"Somewhere between high school and then… you stopped touching me just to touch me. After Hailie was born- things changed. It was hard and we- were concentrating too much on just staying alive… It's like- I used to think our love could keep us together, but- it's harder work than that."
"I know. I think we got the message on that."
"Then you were just never around- touring and working and… it's like the only time you'd touch me was when we had sex. I just… wanted someone to-" She pauses.
"What? Someone to what?"
"He made me feel *wanted*, Marsh. Coulda been anyone- he just- he'd touch the small of my back or my arm when we were sitting at the bar and it was just *nice*."
"Were you goin' back to his place?" I ask before looking down to my fingers. I don't wanna *know*, but I *have* to. "That night? When you left the bar?"
"I'm not sure," she says and I look up at her just as she says, "Probably."
"Would you have- *slept* with him?"
"I don't know." God. "Probably." At least she was *honest*.
But- I stand up and slam the bathroom door as I enter it. FUCK.
And fine. I get it. I kissed other people too, but I *never* woulda slept with them, not when I was still wit' her! Maybe I'm not so angry at *her* as I am with *me*. Yeah- it was partially her fault. But it was also mine. I wasn't there for her. I thought I could deal with fame and take of myself, but I forgot to take care of *her* too. I guess I didn't realize it affected her as well.
But… if I hadn't been there- she woulda-
"Marshall?" She asks as she opens the door.
"Yeah?"
"I didn't *want* to," she says, practically in tears. "That's why I left the note. I guess- I wanted to hurt you, but- I was *hoping*-"
"I'd get home and come get you?"
"I guess I wanted you to come rescue me and tell me you loved me and whisk me off my feet. I don't know- it's… stupid. I was stupid. I just- *never* thought you'd have a *gun*."
*********
"Kim… when I *saw* him *kissing* you- and you letting him *touch* you- I *freaked*. I wanted to kill him. I wanted ta fuckin' *kill* him. I mean- how the fuck could you-"
"HOLD UP A FUCKIN' MINUTE!" I scream. "How could *I*? I *know* you kissed other girls, Marsh. Don't take the fuckin' high road with me!"
"That was different!"
"HOW?!" I can't *believe* he-
"'Cause they was just girls! You were- it was emotional for you! I never let 'em touch me the way I like- never *told* 'em how you touch me so they could-"
"I DIDN'T EITHER, Marsh! He just *did* and it was *nice*!"
"FUCK YOU!" He yells and slams the bathroom door as he leaves. And there is NO fuckin' way he's gonna get away with that!
"DON'T FUCKIN' SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE!" I scream at him. "Fuck YOU, Em," I snarl.
"I didn't leave you fuckin' *notes*, *Kim*. What? You want me to *watch* you *fuck* him?"
"Well *maybe* you could've *learned* something," I snap back. Oh yeah- when it hurts, hit 'em lower than where he hit you.
"Fuckin' bitch," he says. "You *wanted* to hurt me- you *knew* how much it'd tear me up."
"OH? Yeah?!" I walk over to him and yank his shirt up. "WHAT ABOUT THAT?! HUH?" I point to his fuckin' tattoo. "How would YOU feel having to have sex with someone whose body tells you to go die?! HUH?!"
"Well I wouldn't have gotten it, if you'd not taken my fuckin' *daughter* away from me. *AGAIN*!"
"Well what the hell *ELSE* should I have done when her fuckin' *father* was HIGH ALL THE TIME?!"
"Oh- don't *go* *there*, *Kim*. Or should I say, Kimbercrack."
I look at him for a second and we both just burst out laughing.
"That the best you got?" I ask, laughing so hard my belly hurts.
++++++++
Okay. That was… the LAMEST comeback EVER in the history of our fights and I'm laughin' so hard my stomach hurts and I double over onto the bed next to her.
Ohshit.
Kimbercrack.
Ohgod- I start laughing again just *thinking* about it.
Ohshit. We're both quiet for a few seconds, flopped on the bed next to each other. "Kim?"
"Uh huh?" She asks and by the tone of her voice- I already know the answer. But-
"How turned on are you?"
"Very, very," she says before rolling over and practically jumping on top of me. Her lips are on mine and I'm tearing at her clothes as she tears at mine. OH YEAH. We still got it. Screaming match followed by a long, arduous fuck.
Fuck yeah. She grinds against me and I throw her shirt and bra aside before grabbing her hips and flipping us over. I throw a knee between her thighs and she pushes down onto it as I try and move us up the bed.
I sit up a bit and pull *my* shirt off before falling back down onto the bed. I bury my hand in her hair and hold her in place while I kiss her- take her mouth for my own. Okay- so *this* is what she meant by mauling her I guess.
I don't let *her* lead the kiss. I take what I want and enjoy it while I do, while I feel her rocking her cunt against my knee. Ya know- one time I made her rock herself to orgasm on my knee. Now *that* was a sight to see. She was panting like a fuckin' bitch in heat *that* day.
"Maybe we should talk-" she starts to say and that's enough of that.
"Shut the fuck up, Kim," I growl before thrusting my tongue into her mouth and shutting her up.
I feel her hands at my zipper and that's cool. Soon, she's got her hands in my pants and is starting to jerk me off. "Fuck," I groan. Shit, I love her hands on me. I reluctantly hop off the bed. "Strip," I demand and she hastily gets her jeans and panties off so by the time I get my clothes off, she's laying there naked and ready.
I kiss her deeply before sliding my way down her body.
*********
Ohfuck. He's- shit. I *love* when he does this. I feel his tongue gently prodding my outer labia and lightly flicking around my opening. Okay- I grab a few pillows and throw them behind my back so I can watch him a bit more.
"Gimme your hands," he says and I put my hands down between my thighs. "Hold yourself open for me, Babe." Ohshit. He kisses my hands as I use my fingers to spread my lips apart and FUCK. I *love* his tongue!
He flicks it over my clit and can I just say that the man can move his mouth faster than the normal person and it SHOWS?! It's like… his tongue's a freakin' vibrator sometimes. Like *now*. "Shiiit, Baby," I groan and arch into his mouth.
He places his mouth at my entrance and thrusts his tongue inside me firmly. Ohshit. God- "Marsh, Baby- shit, please… fuckme. God-" I whimper and I can't do much more and my fingers are *locked* on my body, holding myself open to him.
OHSHIT. He's… French kissing me. Fuck. And it's a sloppy kiss too. FUCK. "Marsh, Baby- shit… c'mon…" I don't *know* what I want I just- shit.
I feel his mouth move up and he starts to suckle my clit when he thrusts three fingers inside me. "Marshaalllll-" I groan. "Pleaseplease-"
Ohgod- fuck. I yelp and scream his name as he squeezes my clit against the roof of his mouth with his tongue and that's it. I scream as I come and vaguely am aware of him climbing up my body and thrusting himself into me. "Fuckfuckfuck-"
Shit. I pull my knees up as high as I can, which gets him into me like I like him.
"NO," he growls and pulls out.
"Marsh-"
He flips me over a bit violently, which makes me pant even *more* for him. He pushes me into the bed and holds my wrists down as he straddles my thighs. "Marsh- Baby- ohSHIIIIIIT-" he thrusts into me and I'm *so* tight this way and feel him rubbing and stroking my insides much more completely than before. FUCK.
I thrash around but he's got all the fuckin' control and he *knows* it. I feel him sucking on my neck and I swear- he always got off from giving me a hickey. Whatever. I'll wear it proudly.
Shit.
++++++++
"Yeah- you're *mine*, Kim. Only mine- no one else *ever* comes in you." And she can take that *both* ways. Shit- I'm actually getting tired- she's *so* tight this way, I really gotta throw my hips into it to get inside her but it's fuckin' incredible and the friction is driving me crazy.
FUCK. "Kim, I love you so much," I whisper as I bite and suck on her neck.
"Love you too, Marshall. God- too much."
I hold her wrist and bring it down between her thighs. "Get yourself off," I tell her and increase my thrusts. I can't be worried about her right now- she knows what she can do to make herself come, but she ain't gonna come *this* way- just from me fuckin' her.
And she doesn't seem to mind and I'm not gonna last too much longer and she arches up and starts quivering around me and I growl her name as I just let go.
My hips keep going even as I spill myself inside her and feel *her* around me, whimpering my name. Yeah. Shit.
"Fuck," I say and fall to her side. "Shit. How was *that* for mauling?"
"Pretty fuckin' good," she smiles.
And she's right. We *haven't* done that in a while. But- is that it? We *need* to fight to get to those points where we can do that?
Shit.
She curls up next to me and I kiss her forehead. "Kim?"
"Uh huh?"
"What if- all our spark comes from driving each other crazy?"
"I don't think it does," she says. "I don't think- we'd have lasted thing long on just a spark of craziness. Maybe we just- aside from all the shit- maybe we gotta just… find other ways to get to this point. Ya know? Find other things that'll get us that worked up?"
"Yeah. That's something to try." Granted- we've never tried to do it without the fighting. We'd even pick stupid fights with each other, just to get mad.
"I never-" well, that's dumb. So I stop myself. "I didn't *want* to get married again. But- even if we don't have the piece of paper saying we are- I still… *think* of you as my wife."
*********
Wow.
"I mean- it wasn't *all* terrible, was it?"
"Not in the beginning. Although- maybe the timing was off on it. Tryin' to be married while you were working so much-" he's rubbing my back and god- I could cry. I think I might be. He hasn't… it hasn't felt this… good in a while.
"But if you need a piece of paper sayin' you're my wife- then we'll get married. I just-"
"No. I mean-" shit. "Not *now*. It's not that I think we *should* be getting married right now, Marsh. But- it'd be nice to know that it *could* happen- in a year or two- if things stay good, if we work on things and figure it out."
"I just- Kim, I'm *sorry*," he says and sits up to look at me.
I sit up as well. "For-"
"For everything. God- I'm most sorry that we never… talked this shit out. We just keep lettin' shit pile up until it explodes and we have no idea what we're fightin' about. But- I'm sorry I didn't see it before. Sorry things got so fuckin' crazy and I'm *sorry* that I wasn't there."
"Neither one of us were prepared for the fame thing. I mean- we took this… already rocky thing we had and threw it into the spotlight and-"
"I'm sorry if the song hurt you."
What?! Okay- *now* I'm crying. He's *never* apologized for it. I mean- *never*.
"It wasn't *it*," I say. "It's that you- *shared* it."
"Oh." His eyes soften even more and he repeats, "I'm *sorry*, Kim. I'd like to think that… maybe this time around- I *know* what's important. I think I can balance you and Hailie with work."
"You already *are*, Marsh. You… brought us *here*, didn't you? It… means a *lot*."
And he pulls me into his arms as we lay back down, clutching each other and it's like- FINALLY- we're working through some of this shit.
"So," I say with a small smirk. "Kimbercrack?"
Ohgod- we both start laughing again.
"I think- it's safe to say- *you* won *that* argument."
"Damn straight."
"I think it's also safe to say we're done with the drugs. Aren't we?"
"Marsh- we started doin' that shit because the rest of our lives were shit. You were dealin' with the fame shit and I was tryin' to get your attention and forget about the pain of not having you and-"
"Pain over not having me?" He asks and I look up at him and nod.
"Of course. God- it *killed* me when we were apart. When you wouldn't be there at night… even when I was with Eric-"
He immediately frowns and the warmth of his arms starts to fade.
"Marsh- even when I was with him- I had to think about *you* to get off."
"What?" He looks into my eyes. "Say it again."
"I swear, Baby, he *never* filled me like you do. Never felt as good and I had to picture *you* to come. I'd think about times from before- or imagine us together in the future and… I'd come."
"Did you love him?"
"Did you love Brittany?"
"Touché."
"All my life, Marsh," I say and climb into his lap to face him, "I've never loved anyone but you. I don't think I can."
"Me too, Kim. Only you."
++++++++
God- this is good. This is- better than I thought it would be. I actually feel like we're *getting* somewhere.
"So… maybe- in a year or somethin'… if we give it time- maybe we *will* get married again?"
"I'd really love that," she confesses. "I'd love to be your wife again. In time- when things are good and worked out and shit."
Fuck. This feels *so* good to be fixing some of this shit. And I'm not stupid. I know an hour-long chat isn't gonna fix it all- but… it's a start. And I heard things I didn't wanna hear, but needed to hear. And I think she'd agree with me.
I think we're finally making some progress on the *us* front. And that's good.
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"Shit, Kim-" I groan as I thrust down her throat one more time and explode.
Fuck. I fall back in the chair and she crawls into my lap. "Shit, you're good at that."
"Practice," she shrugs.
"So… ya wanna go shoppin'?" I mean- it *is* Saturday now. "We should probably leave the room at least *once* this weekend, right?"
"We should anyway- since you've come inside me like- five times this weekend and I'm not on birth control. So-"
"Oh yeah. But- do we really need condoms?" I ask. I hate those motherfuckers. It's not like we're with twenty different people.
"Do we really need a baby?"
"Not like we can't afford it." And that's true. I mean- I said I didn't want no more kids- but what I didn't say was that I didn't want any with anyone *else*. Kim and I make beautiful, perfect children.
"Marsh- the timing… I just- don't think we should be trying to make babies when things are so… shaky between *us*. What if- it doesn't work again? I don't want *another* kid in the mix."
"Yeah- but what are the chances of-"
"Marshall? All the children that I've had have been conceived on the 'what are the chances' chances. I didn't *try* to have a kid with Eric. We used condoms every time, *except* the night we made Whitney."
Shit. I *hate* thinking about her having a kid with anyone but me.
But now ain't the time to get into that because she starts to cry.
"Where do you think she is?" She sobs onto my shoulder.
And this is the *other* thing we've never really talked about.
"I don't know," I say. "But… I bet she's happy- with a mom and dad and-"
"I miss her, Marshall. She'd be fourteen this week."
"I know." I remember her birthday too.
God- I *know* we made the right decision.
Didn't we?
*********
I just- god. Every day I let myself *think* about it- every day I hold Whitney, or see Hailie- I think… I have a daughter that I don't now. *Marshall* and I have a daughter that doesn't know us. And she's fourteen now.
Some days, I don't think about her. But the pain is always there.
-------------
"Baby?" I ask. "Are we- ready?"
"Yeah," he sighs. "Did you forget anything?"
"I don't think so. Checked everywhere twice."
"Okay. Then I guess we're-"
"I don't wanna leave, Marsh," I confess. It's been- *so* nice. The past couple days have been *so* nice.
"I know," he agrees and takes my hand. "Let's make a promise right now."
"Okaaay."
"Let's promise to take some time for us each day. Even if it's… showering together- not even sex- let's just take a some time for each day without the kids."
"That sounds *really* good, Marsh," I say and hug him tightly for a few minutes.
"Aiight- let's boogie."
-------------
++++++++"DADDY!!! MOMMY!" Hailie comes running out of the playroom and jumps on Kim, practically knocking her over. Damn- we had such a good time. I feel like- we finally… got back to us a bit and it felt really good. (So did all the sex.) But even with the sex- we had… *incredible* sex. It's always good- but- we really enjoyed each other.
However, despite the sex and everything, it always feels really good to come home.
"Hey, Aunt Betty," I say, giving her a quick hug.
"How was it?"
"*Really* good. We can't thank you enough."
"You're welcome. I'll gather these boys up and get out of your hair. Oh- Paul called about fifteen times this weekend- leavin' messages. Something urgent, I think. You might wanna give him a call."
"K- thanks."
"Ja bring me sumin'?" Hailie asks.
"Mamamamama!" Whitney coos as Kim picks her up from the floor.
"We got presents for everyone," I tell her and hand her a small bag.
"OOO!" She squeals as she pulls the bracelet out of the bag. Okay- so we didn't really go *out* so much as to the hotel gift shop, but Hailie don't know the difference. "LOOK, MOMMY!"
"I know- Daddy and I thought you'd like it."
"Can I put it on? Is it mine forever?"
"Yeah, Baby. Here- lemme see."
*********
Marshall fastens it on her wrist. It's just a simple silver charm bracelet, but she loves those little trinkety things, so it's perfect.
<Ring. Ring.>
Marsh jumps up and goes to answer the phone. "'Lo?… Hey Paul, what up, Man?... nah- I tol' you we was goin' away. What up?… huh?" Em's face goes blank.
"Um- Hai, why don't you take Whitney into the play room, okay?"
"'Kay, Mommy." I stand and she takes Whitney from me and walks out of the room.
"Yeah- I'll… have to get back ta ya after I talk to Kim. Aiight, Paul. Thanks."
"Marsh- what is it?" I ask, touching his arm. He looks- I don't know- scared? Pale? Happy? Sad? All of the above?
"They uh… a lawyer from Milwaukee contacted Interscope last week and they sent him to Paul."
"What about?"
He takes my hands in his. "I think it's Rain."
Ohgod.
I just… my legs go limp and we both fall to the floor.
Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com
These stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.