Rain
WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT
Title : Rain
Pairing: Eminem/Kim
Summary: Em and Kim are trying work things out, meanwhile- fourteen year old Lily Rayne has problems of her own.AUTHOR'S NOTES: I will NOT be address Kim's niece who is supposedly living with them. For the purposes of this, she doesn't exist in their home permanently. 1) I don't want to complicate things MORE. 2) Some sources say her name is Amy others say it's Aidan. 3) I'm the author and it's my right! It's fanfic! :-) I will *also* not really be addressing Nathan *too* much. He may pop up- but he's not living with them either. ALSO I am assuming the book "Cleanin' Out My Closet" is a load of crap since that's what the man himself said. So any information J.R. Watkins said about Kim or Em and their relationship does not apply here.
ONE MORE THING!!! This fiction is color coded for ease of reading since there are three main characters!! Anytime you see (------), it means time has passed. Here's the KEY:
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~~~~~~~~I *hate* hospitals.
I'm fourteen and I've spent *way* too much time in hospitals.
"MOMMY!" Hailie screams as she jerks away and her grip on me tightens.
"Shh," I say and rub her back a bit. I look over at the woman holding Whitney, my aunt Dawn apparently. She does share some features with Kim and even myself. Marshall called her and she showed up almost immediately, although he and her didn't seem to be on the best of terms.
But she's been nothing but pleasant to me- although I'm not sure he told her who I am and I don't know what it is between them- so I just hold Hailie and sit.
We've been sitting for nearly two hours now and it's a relatively short amount of time- but it feels like an eternity.
I hate hospitals.
++++++++
This is *not* happening.
"Well?" I ask.
"Your ex-wife took quite a fall, Mr. Mathers. She sustained several injuries including a sprained wrist and broken rib. Luckily, we have not found evidence of internal bleeding. But above all that and more pressing is trauma to her head. She's unconscious still, which is to be expected. The body often comatoses itself after severe trauma, the body's way of healing itself. We'll know more when she wakes up."
"When-"
"Hard to tell."
"But… she'll be okay?"
"Well know more after twenty-four hours."
"And the baby?" I gulp. "Is the baby-"
"We're keeping our fingers crossed," is the answer he gives. "The pulse is weak, but not gone."
God- why is this happening to me?
"Can I-"
"Yes, yes. Often patients report having known their loved ones were in the room. I'm sure it would comforting for her to-"
I stop listening to him and walk into the room where she's hooked up to all these monitors. I never thought the beep of a machine monitoring her heartbeat would be the most wonderful sound. Her arms are already showing bruises and they have her wrist in a brace. Her face has a few bruises too.
I place a soft kiss on her bruises forehead and sit with my one hand on her belly and the other takes her hand. God.
"Kim," I whisper softly into her ear. "Kim, Baby… you *have* to come back to me. I can't do this alone. I can't- I can't raise Hailie and Whitney by myself- I just can't. I- need you, Baby. We was just talkin' about that, weren't we? 'Bout how much I need you- and I do."
God. I can't believe I'm even gonna say it but- shit. "Kim, listen to me," I lean closer to her. "Listen-" my hand squeezes her belly. "I love you, Kimmy, more than life itself and I can't lose you. So if it comes down to it, Kim- if it's between fightin' for you and fightin' for this baby- I need you to fight for *you*. Hailie, Whitney, Lily- they all need their mothers. Okay?"
I kiss her forehead softly.
"Excuse me, Sir?" I look up to see the police officer standing there. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but we have more questions-"
I nod and kiss Kim's lips gently. "I love you, Kimmy," I whisper before heading out to the hallway.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, but-"
"What?"
"We need to know exactly what happened so we know if there are charges to be filed or if we should release Ms. Nelson."
"Well- I walked in just as Kim started fallin'. I don't know about before that."
"Did she trip? Or-"
I sigh. "From what I saw- it looked like she was- pushed." And I'm *still* tryin' to wrap my mind around *that*.
"By-"
"By my mother." I don't even wanna say it because it's like it makes it true.
"Were they fighting?"
"I don't know. I wasn't there."
"Is there anyone that was?"
"Yes, my-" shit "cousin."
"Can I- speak with-"
"Yeah," I nod. I should prolly check on Hailie to so- we get to the waiting room and Hai's curled up on a chair but Whit and Dawn ain't there. "Hey, Lily," I say and she stands up.
"How is she?" She asks.
"Holdin' her own."
"And the baby?"
"So far so good's what the doc says. Look, Lily, they need a statement from you about-"
"Okay."
And I listen as she tells the policeman what my own *mother* said to her and to Kim. And god- it wasn't just my imagination either, huh?
My own mother pushed Kim down the stairs- *knowing* she was pregnant.
"Alright, thank you, Miss Fredricks. We'll be in touch with you both."
~~~~~~~~
I turn to him and am so glad when he realizes that I just need a hug because he wraps one arm around my waist and the other around my neck and pulls me close to him and I just clutch him.
I can't lose another mother. I just- can't.
Part of me has been praying to my mom to pull strings up in Heaven to leave Kim and the baby with us.
He slowly pulls away and takes my face in his hands and looks deep into my eyes and I can *see* how much pain he's in, *hear* it in his voice when he says, "try not to worry," and then he plants an authoritative 'I love you' kiss on my forehead and-
<Click. Click.>
"THERE HE IS! EMINEM! EMINEM!"
OH shit- a dozen cameras are suddenly surround us and Hailie jumps up out of her chair and I quickly grab her so she does it get lost on trampled.
He puts his arm out and sort of pushes Hailie and me behind him and that's okay. I hide behind him and bury Hailie's face in the crook of my shoulder.
"Did you know your mother has cancer? Rumor is Kim slit her wrists again- care to comment? Is that your new girlfriend? Did you threaten to sue Kim for sole custody? Are you in the process of adopting Kim's second daughter? Is it true that Kim is in ICU? Was Hailie there? Why is your mother in police custody? Is it true it was a fight over another woman? Is that her? How old is she?"
"HEY!" He screams and they quiet down. "How 'bout a little *common* *decency*? If not for me, than for my seven-year-old daughter whose mother is in critical care? Huh? God- I can't *believe* you people! My fuckin'- she's fightin' for her *life* and you people come here to- what? Sell some magazines? Wanna know why I don't do press? It's 'cause a' *this*!"
"Daddy?" Hailie asks softly, tapping him on the shoulder. He turns his head and she whispers, "I'm scared."
++++++++
Fuck. "I know, Baby," I say and she climbs into my arms. I turn back toward the reporters and say, "You so much as *print* one of these pictures, I'll sue your asses for all their worth."
"With all due *respect*," one of them says. "This is our *job*."
"Then I'll do *my* job. Why don't you research how many of my fans don't buy the Source magazine anymore because I said shit about 'em? I'll do the same with each and every one of *your* magazines."
Okay. Get it together, Marshall.
I want Kim to fight for her life- I need to protect her children until she can do it.
I turn my back to them and pull Lily into my arm as well and then we push our way through them as they click all their stupid pictures.
"Where's Dawn and Whit?"
"She said she was takin' her to change her and get some fresh air."
"I'm sorry about all this," I tell her and I'm glad she's stayed close to me as we walk. Hailie's just shaking and I don't know how to make this better. "I bet you wished you'd stayed home-"
"I think I'm where I need to be," is her response.
I take them back to ICU where the reporters are stopped by a few of the security guards and we get to Kim's room and- Dawn's already here.
"Daddy-" Hailie whines and I hold her.
"I know, Baby, and I don't know how to make it better."
"Is Mommy gonna die?"
What do I say? Hopefully not but maybe? "Mommy's a fighter, Hailie. You seen her fight wit' me and I'm just *me*. She'll fight harder for her beautiful daughters."
"What about our baby?" She asks.
"We don't know, Hailie. I don't- they don't have any answers."
"What *happened*?" Dawn asks angrily staring through me. It's chilling. Kim has the same look. "Can't you-"
"*Dawn*," I stop her. "Not in front of-"
"Grandma yelled at Mommy," Hailie says quietly. "Why does Grandma hate Mommy so much?"
Fuck. NOTHING about this is okay!
"Hailie, I- I don't know. I don't *know*." FUCK. I don't know what to do. What the fuck'll I do if she- Getting frustrated in front of the girls isn't the way to help this situation. "C'mere, Baby," I say and I pull her into my lap as I sink into one of the hospital chairs. "Mommy fell, like you saw, and she…"
I glance over at Lily, who's standing with her arms crossed just blankly staring at Kim and- god… how could I have not remembered how hard *this* must be for her? She just *lost* her mother and now *this*?
"Doctor's say Mommy's just sleepin' until she's feelin' better. Her body put her to sleep for a while so she can get better. Baby- I don't… under*stand* what happened or why, okay? I can't tell you. I'm not gonna lie- Grandma, from what I saw, pushed Mommy down the stairs and I don't know why. Okay?" She sniffles and nods her head.
"What about the baby?"
"I don't know. Doctor's aren't sayin' whether or not the baby'll stay with Mommy."
"But I *want* the baby," she says angrily.
"Me too, Hai-Hai, me too."
"Marshall?" I look up at Dawn. "I'm… sorry for-"
"Don't worry about it," I shrug. We're all stressed.
"Why don't I take Hai and Whit home with me for a while? They can rest and it'll keep 'em away from the reporters-"
"NO!" Hailie yells. "I wanna stay with Mommy!" She jumps out of my lap and runs over to the hospital bed. "I don't want her to go 'way like Lily's mommy!"
~~~~~~~~
Me neither, Hailie.
"Hailie- my mom was very very sick. It's different. Okay? I think maybe you should go with your Aunt Dawn for now. That way she won't be worryin' about you and she can get better sooner, okay?"
"But-" she glances over at Marshall. "What about Daddy?"
"I'll be fine, Baby. Okay? You go with Whity and Dawn."
"Will you stay with Daddy?" She asks me and I nod. Then she pulls me down to her level and whispers in my ear, "he needs to be taken care of."
"I'll do my best," I promise.
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Mom was hooked to a heart monitor too. I remember how it echoed when it went flat and her eyes went cold. I'll never forget that look in her eyes. The look of death.
I look over at him and he's just been sitting there, elbows on his knees, hands clasped, just *watching* her from five feet away.
I walk over and sit down next to him. "I was there when my mom died," I say, though I don't know why… perhaps to fill the endless amount of time we've got ahead of us. Even if she wakes up in a minute, it'll be the longest of minutes.
That gets him to look at me. "They had put her on a respirator and had a tube down her throat to keep her esophagus form collapsing and keep her breathing. She'd written this letter- telling me I was adopted and that she was sorry she'd lied and not told me. I read it and just *had* to ask her about it. She had 'em take the tube out just so she could tell me I was her daughter no matter what DNA said and that she loved me and she was sorry she had to leave."
"Oh, Lily- I'm-"
"Don't," I stop him. "Don't say it. Ya know- it's been… almost a few months. Some days feel like it's been way longer and there are nights when I wake up and it just hits me like it happened a minute ago. But the time… sort of-" I wipe my eyes. "I've had a lot of time to think and I was really lucky to have known such a strong woman and she was. Brave and curious and… she died with so much dignity."
I'm *balling* now and he just holds my hand. "Even when the cancer was eating her alive inside, she never let me know how much pain she was in or how much it hurt her. She was thinking of me until the very end and I watched her slip away- one last gasp and she was gone. I saw it in her eyes. She may be gone, but the love she had is still with me. And I'm lucky.
"The person might go away, but the love is there, always."
He's quiet for a *long* time; I don't know how long. He just holds my hand and we sit there, watching her.
"It may be stupid," his voice cuts interrupts the steady beeping of her heartbeat. "But- every now and then- it's been like… I *felt* my uncle Ronnie, like he was in the room wit' me. Even now. Sometimes- I do. Do you ever-"
"That time- when you were on the phone and I accidentally picked up- I swear a picture of my mom winked at me. She always used to say she felt my father around her, like when she was doin' the dishes or at Christmas time. I'd like to think that she *is* watching over me and I just keep praying that she'll keep Kim and the baby safe."
"Am I a terrible person for wanting to let the baby die if it'll make Kim wake up?"
Oh god. I turn to him and… he's just in so much pain right now and I think I understand that. Mom was my entire world. She was my best friend and counselor, mentor, teacher- she was *everything*. And now I see it so clearly- that's what Kim is for him.
"No!" I answer forcefully because I feel very forceful about it. "No. What's the option? Losing one or losing both?"
"I can't lose her," he says softly. "I just can't. Not now- now when everything is so perfect- not *now*, not ever. Things were finally- *good*. I can't lose her."
"When my mom told me the cancer had come back- it was about six months short of being a five year remission. I was just thirteen and I'd already watched her fight twice and I'd watched her get sick from the chemo and go bald. I watched her grow weak and suffer and I didn't want her to go through it again. So I prayed- *so* hard- that night, when I thought no one could *possibly* be awake except God- and I asked him if he needed to kill someone else to save my mom's life- if he needed an angel and there was someone else he could take- I asked him to do it."
Wow. I hadn't been expecting to tell that to *anyone*.
"I often wonder if some other child didn't pray harder than me for the same exact thing that night."
++++++++
Wow. This child has… she's not a child. She's a grown-up, no wonder she seems so mature. She's had too much to deal with in her short life. She carries a lot on her shoulders.
And I think we're both relieved when we just end up hugging and I'm not sure if she started it or I did, but it's something nice in the terror that is time right now. Time not knowing. Time listening to annoying beeping that I hate myself for being annoyed by because it means Kim's alive.
The doctor's comes in just then and goes about his business as we just hold each other tightly.
"Well?" I ask him.
"She seems stable, still no sign of any internal bleeding, which is a good thing. We're sending her for another head CT and some other neurological tests."
What? "Could there be- I mean… permanent damage?"
"Let's not think about it until-"
"Cut the bullshit," I interrupt him. "What are the chances she could walk out of this with only a few cuts and a bruised wrist?"
He sighs. "She fell down seventeen steps backwards, Sir."
"What *are* they?"
"Highly unlikely."
I cover my mouth and I just can't help but cry and cry.
*********
I dream.
I dream of falling, weightless, through the sea. Oceans surround me but there's no fear- no need for air or oxygen.
I dream of an endless fall through the pits of the earth to where time ends.
And I dream of family.
I can hear his voice so close, practically see him and smell his cologne but I keep falling, further and further away through the clouds and back down through the ocean and earth and still I cannot see him, cannot catch him or even say his name.
"Mommy!" A child's voice bleeds through the sound of wind and water in my ears, the constant droning of waves and earthquakes burying me as I fall.
My children, through the clouds, I see my children calling for me, their faces bleeding into one and other, calling "Mommy!"
And I continue falling.
Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com
These stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.