Rain

WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT

Title : Rain
Pairing: Eminem/Kim
Summary: Em and Kim are trying work things out, meanwhile- fourteen year old Lily Rayne has problems of her own.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I will NOT be address Kim's niece who is supposedly living with them. For the purposes of this, she doesn't exist in their home permanently. 1) I don't want to complicate things MORE. 2) Some sources say her name is Amy others say it's Aidan. 3) I'm the author and it's my right! It's fanfic! :-) I will *also* not really be addressing Nathan *too* much. He may pop up- but he's not living with them either. ALSO I am assuming the book "Cleanin' Out My Closet" is a load of crap since that's what the man himself said. So any information J.R. Watkins said about Kim or Em and their relationship does not apply here.

ONE MORE THING!!! This fiction is color coded for ease of reading since there are three main characters!! Anytime you see (------), it means time has passed. Here's the KEY:

Eminem ++++++++ -------------

Kim ********* -------------

Lily Rayne ~~~~~~~~ ----------

2

*********

Ya know- there was another time when he walked up to me with that devious dopey grin on his face and it ended in him playing a song for me in the car.

"Marshall, what?" I ask, rolling my eyes a bit. I swear- if it's another *song*- I'll kill him. I'll literally *kill* him with my bare hands and he *knows* I could do it. I *would* do it too.

"Got me an idea," he says, throwing himself down on the couch beside me. Least it's not another song.

"What?"

"Why ya bein' a bitch?" He asks.

"Last time you looked like that- it ended badly."

"Huh?" Yeah- that's another one of those… forbidden topics. We don't talk about John and we don't talk about the song and we don't talk about the Eric thing and we *sure* as fuck don't talk about marriage.

"Nothing. What?"

"Ya know- one a' these days-"

"WHAT?" I snap. I don't mean to but… he's pissing me off today. Es*pecially* today.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He growls nastily. "Never fuckin' mind."

And he walks out. *Storms* out and stomps his big ass feet all the way up the fuckin' stairs.

ASSHOLE.

Shit. This is just- and he doesn't even fuckin' remember, does he?

FUCK.

Did we not just say we were gonna try and make things *better* than before?

I sigh and head upstairs.

++++++++

FUCKIN' BITCH! FUCK HER! What the fuck does she want from me??

I throw the tickets onto the bed and slam my hand against the wall. "FUCK!" That hurt.

"Marsh," she says quietly. "Should put ice on that."

"What the fuck do *you* want?" I grumble.

"I'm moving out."

"WHAT?!" I scream. "NO!" Shit. We haven't even *fought*! What- she just don't care now? "NO! You're *not* takin' her again, Kim. You're not!"

"No- shut up," she says. "I just… this isn't working. I think- I mean… what have we done the past six months? Huh? So what- you took time to stay here- played with Hai- fucked me- but nothing changed."

"What?" Honestly- I don't get half of what she says. I wonder if that's just me or if it's a guy-girl thing.

"We're not- *us*, Marsh." She picks up a picture of us taken shortly before we got married. "We're not these people any more. Too much has happened and as much I love you- I don't know you. I mean… I *know* you- but… there's stuff we don't know about each other anymore and-"

"It's too comfortable?" I ask. Okay. I get it. She's not *leaving* me. She's just… leaving. Hmm- that doesn't sound better.

"If we try to build something new based on old shit- it won't work and we'll all end up hurting. So maybe we shouldn't *live* together and-"

"That's what *this* is!" I grab the tickets and throw 'em at her.

"What is this?"

"I thought… I mean- we used to go out."

*********

"You're takin' me to- Buffalo?" I glance at the plane tickets.

"Got us a suite over lookin' Niagara Falls for the weekend."

"What?" I don't… I mean- after Cancun… he never really asked me anywhere.

"Don't cry," he says softly and pulls me into his arms but… I can't help it. "I'm sorry, Baby. We'll make it better."

"Marsh… this is-"

"I thought we could use time for *us*. Betty's gonna stay here wit' Hai an' Whit."

Ohgod. He's- I nearly knock him over when I throw myself against him and attack his mouth. I think *that* surprised him because it takes him a minute to kiss me back.

I sigh and relax on top of him. "We gotta talk," I say softly.

"I know. We will. We'll- clear the air. I wanna make this better, Kim. Not just for Hai, but for *us*. Won't be easy- so I thought we'd go away. If we gotta scream or whatever- she won't hear."

He rubs my back and I close my eyes. God- I could fall asleep here in his arms. I used to. But we don't do a lot that we used to and I don't know what that means. I know we rushed into this whole *us* thing. I know that much.

I know we'd gotten to a point where we were friends. And then that night- Hai's birthday party in mid-December… we shouldn'ta drank that much. Next thing I knew- we were up here in his bed and I didn't wanna stop. He felt so good, so familiar and comforting. But… is that all he sees? Someone he *knows* loves him for being Marshall and not Eminem?

"Do you remember what today is?" I barely whisper. God- every year…

"'Course I do."

"Why did we-" but Whitney interrupts me. She's up from her nap. God- I'm so tired.

"I'll go," he says, sliding me off him. "Chill here." He places a blanket over me and I can't help but smile and close my eyes.

------------
~~~~~~~~

I sit staring out the window. I don't know how long I've been staring out the window. Hours? Days? Weeks? I don't know any more.

"Lil?"

I turn and Marcie's standing in the doorway.

"You need help?" I shake my head. "Lil, maybe you could *let* me help? The car'll be here in a few minutes and… you're not dressed."

I look down and notice that I'm still just sittin' in my bathrobe. Oh yeah. I was supposed to get dressed. I nod and she walks over and hands me the black dress I'd chosen to wear but I don't have the stomach to put it on. "I can't do this," I shake my head. "I can't."

She wouldn't… she wouldn't want me all… black. "She never liked the color black," I state.

"What about that blue dress you have? That pretty blue one?"

I nod. The blue one. "She always liked the blue one."

"MARCE! Limo's here!" Sam yells from downstairs.

"We'll need a few more minutes!" She calls down.

I pull the blue dress on and glance at myself in the mirror. I grab my black shoes and slip them on and sigh as Marcie braids my long hair.

I like Marcie and Rob. They fought and petitioned the courts to be my foster parents. She was Mom's best friend the past ten years. I've babysat Jessie, their two year old, a few times while they and mom watched a movie.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Guess I got no choice, huh?"

She touches my face and tries to smile a bit. I know she misses Mom too. "I know it doesn't seem like it, Lil, but it *will* get better."

"How?" I ask through tears. Sometimes, over the past few days, I felt like I couldn't cry any more. And then times like these- it feels like I've never stopped crying.

"I don't know, Lily. I just… know that it will, in time."

Time. Time. Everyone says it takes time. Well- it took time to kill her too!

"I just want her back," I confess and she pulls me into her arms and just lets me cry. She's done that a lot lately. Every day since Mom knew she was gonna-

"LADIES! Are we-"

"YEAH!" She calls down. "Are you- I know you're not okay, Lil, but you ready to go?"

I nod slowly and it's really just a blur. All of it is a big blur.

I don't hear the words the pastor says and I sure as hell don't hear anything anyone says to me in the receiving line. It's just… numb inside. And I haven't even *thought* about what she told me- I gotta mourn my mother before I can think about the fact that she *wasn't* my mother.

"You should eat something, Dear," a lady says to me at the gathering afterwards and I really don't remember going to the cemetery, if I was even there. "Rayne?" She asks.

"Don't call me that," I grumble and run away. I told them not to call me that. Only Mommy called me that.

I run upstairs to the room I'm staying in and throw myself down onto the bed. "Honey?" Marcie asks as she comes in.

"Don't tell me what to do," I say. I'm *sick* of people telling me what to do.

"I just… if you wanna stay up here- maybe you wanna take a shower or something. Okay?"

I nod. "Thanks, Marcie," I say before closing my eyes. God- I'm so tired. I'm just so tired.

------------

I sleep and when I sleep, I don't sleep because all I see is the blood and the deadness in her eyes. I can see the second she left me in her eyes every time I close mine.

My eyes fly open and I look out the window. It's dark. I glance at the clock. Nine am. It's *really* dark out today. I guess it doesn't really matter. Does it?

I sigh and sit up. Guess I should get dressed. The lawyer's supposed to be here to go over the details of her will.

It's been six days and it seems like forever ago when it was her and I. The last few months- she's been sick and in the hospital and… I'm just scared of forgetting her.

I'm fourteen. Memories fade in time and I'm petrified of losing mine.

I smell eggs and bacon and… we used to have eggs and bacon in the morning. And now- she'll never have eggs and bacon again.

I take a deep breath in and shower but don't feel it. I eat, but don't taste it.

"Lily?" Rob says, coming into the kitchen. "Mr. Barnes is here. Would you- like to come in?"

No. I would *like* to go *home* and be with my *mother*. But I'll never get what I want, will I?

I follow him to the dining room and he shakes my hand and I'm *so* glad he *doesn't* say that he's sorry for my loss.

A lot of it really doesn't mean anything to me. She sold the house and did most of the cleaning out when she realized she…

"…and after expenses were paid, your mother estate will be about a two hundred thousand dollars. Twenty of which will be used as child support to whomever-" Gets stuck with me.

But that's a lot of money. Mom worked hard and saved the money Daddy had from his insurance and stuff. And she had a good job and good insurance so there weren't big bills left to pay.

"What we do need to discuss, Lily, is with whom you'd like to live." He looks down at the papers and says, "It was your mother's wish for you *not* to go into foster care or an orphanage. She said the Davidson's had offered to take you in and-"

"I don't wanna-" shit. I mean… they've been great, but- they don't *need* me. "Be a bother or-"

"Lily," Marcie says, touching my hand from across the table. "We *love* having you here and we're more than happy to invite you into our family." I know- I mean- they've know me since I was three, but-

"What about- my… biological parents?"

"Yes, well, your mother explained that she had met with your biological mother- that she was there when she brought you home. She explained that they were young and just couldn't take care of a child and wanted you in a good place. So they provided her with their names- in case you ever wanted to find them. So- she gave me the envelope with that information in it but said it was up to you if we ever pursued it."

"Maybe," Rob says, "She could wait a bit- to decide… once things calm down a bit. Okay, Lily? Once you can process things?"

And I just nod. Process things… nice way to say it.

------------

I'm sitting in my 'room' when Marcie comes in carrying Jessie. Jessie laughs loudly and she's so funny. She's the only thing that can make me feel any semblance of happiness right now.

"Lil?"

"Yeah?"

"Your mother- gave me some things for you- to give you. Letters… that she wrote- for me to give to you at certain times. She wanted me to give you this after she- a little bit after she passed." She hands me the letter. "If there's anything I can… help you with- if you wanna talk… you've been quiet… maybe you should think about going back to school? To finish up the year? Or we can see if we can find a tutor?"

I really like Marcie and Rob. I've always thought of Rob as my dad. I mean- I don't remember mine. And Marcie's like my aunt or something… sometimes blood doesn't matter. Sometimes people that aren't even related to you can love you that much.

She leaves and I pull the piece of paper out of the envelope. God- it smells like her still, in her pretty handwriting that I always tried to duplicate. I thought I'd have to be able to produce her signature to be a proper teenager.

My Dearest Lily Rayne-

Oh- I wasn't sure if I should even write these and I'm sure they're stained with my own tears, but- I wanted to be with you to share some of these moments. So Marcie has letters for your sixteenth birthday, eighteenth- big things like that. High school graduation, college- your wedding day- the day you bring home *your* first baby… I hope they are a comfort and not a source of pain.

I know things are confusing and hurtful and I wish I could have fought it this time. I kept *hoping* that I'd beat it, but- after a while, it becomes inevitable. By now- I hope I'd have told you that you were indeed adopted. I'm sorry I never told you before, but- you are my daughter and I wanted to keep you as long as I could.

Marcie and Rob love you very much and they were the ones who told me, they wanted you to be with them. They've known you since you were three years old and they've always thought of you as one of their own. They're part of our family. You're part of theirs.

However, if you do wish to pursue your birth parents, it's okay with me *and* them. It won't be betraying me, Lily. Even if you just wanted to meet them, not necessarily move in, but- your mother- when I spoke with her the morning we brought you home, she was deeply saddened. But she was too young. She wasn't supposed to tell me who she was- that was part of the adoption rules. But when we got home with you, we found a letter inside your blanket with you. It said that she knew it was against the rules, but they both loved you and wanted you to be able to find them if you ever wanted to. I've included that letter with this one. The envelope that Mr. Barnes has is something she had included. I have never opened it, but she said it contained enough information for you to find them.

God- I want so much for you, my love. Your father and I both wanted *so* much for you. We wanted to be with you for your birthdays and unfortunately, it was not to be so. But we love you and want you to be happy. Seek your own happiness and never forget we love you very much. You were the best thing that ever happened to us. Forever and ever, you'll carry me in your heart. I'll never part.

You were my flower after the rain and you always will be. Now go and find your own flower, Rayne.

Love Always,
Mama

I flip the page and find another letter scrawled- in *my* handwriting. I mean… a teen's handwriting… my mother's handwriting.

For our Baby's New Parents-

We know it's against the rules but- even as we sign over the papers- we don't wanna give her up. We've been calling her Rain because it was raining a lot the day I had her and we've been crying ever since. We know you're not supposed to have contact with us, after we give her up, but- god. We're just kids. We don't know what to do with a baby. But- it's the best for Rain.

It may be against the rules- but I've put an envelope in this one- with our names and social security numbers and our phone number. I'm sure we'll move- in time- but it's a place to start if she ever wants to find us- we'll always be waiting to meet her. They assure us you're good people and we really hope that's true- but it'd be nice one day to have proof. We love you, Rain.

I blow my nose and walk downstairs to where Marcie's feeding Jess her mashed peas. Gross.

"Marcie?"

"Yeah? You okay?"

I nod. "Yeah- can you… call Mr. Barnes?"

"Sure- any particular reason?"

"I wanna meet my parents."

------------

"Lily?" Marcie asks. "I'm outta diapers. Can you watch Jess while I run to the store? Rob should be home in an hour- I shouldn't be too much longer."

"Yeah," I nod.

"She's in her playpen, but I think she wants to get out and move around, if you don't mind."

I close my book and head downstairs to find Jess in her playpen throwing all her stuffed animals out of it. "Jessie, Jessie," I mock scold her and she looks at me with that goofy look of hers and I can't help but smile. And then she laughs. And I can't help but laugh too.

"Rae-Rae laugh!!" She giggled. "Rae not sad?"

"Rae not sad," I repeat. God- if I could believe that.

"Uppy!" She says and throws her arms up at me.

"Okay you goose monger! C'mere!" I pick her up and swing her in to my arms.

"PANE PANE!"

"A plane? Okay." I hold her belly and she puts her arms out and I fly her around the room making plane noises.

"Dem two dere!" She points at her two favorite stuffed animals. "LiLi and RaeRae!" She named them after me. I'm not sure whether to be insulted or touched. It's LiLi the skunk and RaeRae the octopus. "On da pane."

<Ring. Ring.>

"DA PHONE! NO ONE HOME!" She giggles. "Who here?"

"*I'm* here, Silly," I say, resting her on my hip as I pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"This is Mr. Barnes. May I speak with Marcie Davidson?"

"Mr. Barnes, this is Lily. Is it about my parents?"

"I think perhaps I should speak to Mr. or Mrs. Davidson first, Lily."

"Why? Are they- dead too?"

"No. No. I just- it's… complicated."

"Why? Are they terrorists or something? Can't find 'em?" Now I'm worried. I don't… wanna *move* or anything… I *love* Marcie and Rob and Jess. And I can see myself here, if I have to be without my mom, but- I just feel like… I need to meet them.

I mean- if I believe their letter- which… it seems… genuine- they wanted to know me. And maybe… I need to know them.

"Complicated how?"

"Well… it's-"

"What? Please- just- tell me."

"The names and social security numbers match with a couple living in Detroit." Makes sense since we lived in the suburbs of Detroit until my dad died, then Mom and I moved here to Milwaukee.

"And?" I bounce Jess on my hip a bit. "What are they're names?" I ask. "Please, just- tell me."

"Kimberly Scott and Marshall Mathers III."

Chapter 3

Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com

Back to fan fiction index

Back to Rain chapter index

These stories are for entertainment purposes only.  They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character.  No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.