Rain
WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT
Title : Rain
Pairing: Eminem/Kim
Summary: Em and Kim are trying work things out, meanwhile- fourteen year old Lily Rayne has problems of her own.AUTHOR'S NOTES: I will NOT be address Kim's niece who is supposedly living with them. For the purposes of this, she doesn't exist in their home permanently. 1) I don't want to complicate things MORE. 2) Some sources say her name is Amy others say it's Aidan. 3) I'm the author and it's my right! It's fanfic! :-) I will *also* not really be addressing Nathan *too* much. He may pop up- but he's not living with them either. ALSO I am assuming the book "Cleanin' Out My Closet" is a load of crap since that's what the man himself said. So any information J.R. Watkins said about Kim or Em and their relationship does not apply here.
ONE MORE THING!!! This fiction is color coded for ease of reading since there are three main characters!! Anytime you see (------), it means time has passed. Here's the KEY:
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~~~~~~~~Okay. I've never been on a private plane before.
"You okay?" He asks and I nod.
"Just a bit weird," I smile.
"Yeah. I still ain't used to it either. Big change from cleanin' tables and flippin' burgers."
I nod, not that I can really *get* it, but- I just can't believe when Rob and Marce said they couldn't leave until the third, that he offered to get a private plane and come pick me up if I wanted to be there sooner.
And ya know what? I *did*- *do*- wanna be there sooner. Like- after we started making the arrangements, I got really excited about it.
Plus, Marcie spent about three hours convincing me that I'm not betraying Mom by seeking a relationship with them. After all- she said- how many adopted kids' real families don't give a shit about them? Should I take advantage of my good luck with my *own* birth parents?
"So- when do you go back to school?"
"Week before labor day," I reply and look at him. He's got baggy jeans and t-shirt on with a red Shady cap. "But I'm gonna get a head start this summer."
"Whado ya gotta do?"
"I've got papers to write for each class and I've already started the readings for the year."
"Oh," he says.
++++++++
Yeah. I don't feel really fuckin' stupid right now.
"What classes are you taking?"
"Gym, music theory, Spanish II, World Lit, World Civ, Bio, and Trig."
"Wow." Holy shit. Oh my god. "That's… wow. I just- wow." Holy shit. "You know how proud of you we are? And we don't even have the right to be, but- I hope Hailie can be like you."
"Thanks," she says and she doesn't seem as nervous as she was before with us. "Can I-"
"What?" I ask when she stops herself.
"How can you- I mean… the violent stuff or homophobic stuff- I can get around that. But- how can you say what you say about Kim?"
Shit. This is like… the conversation I've been playin' out in my head 'cause I *know* Hai'll ask me that one day. Whit too and the new baby.
I sigh. She has a right to ask these questions. I mean… imagine finding out you're adopted and that your father has 'fantasies' of killing your mother…
"Whatever I say in the songs ain't how I feel. I mean- the reporters make me out to be this homicidal, homophobic, misogynistic psycho. They're just *words* and-"
"I'm not a reporter and I'm not a stupid kid," she cuts me off. "I ask her about and she wanted to give me the 'it's just words' crap, but cut it out. How can you write a song when you slit her throat and claim to love her? How can you sit there and tell me I was conceived in love, or Hailie for that matter, when you paint her to be a whore and slut?"
"Most of this shit I've said about her in songs- is shit I've written when- I mean. I don't know how much you've read about us or whatever, but Kim and I ain't never had a really traditional, normal relationship. Like… we're both pretty fucked up." I shrug. "Maybe that's why we work. I don't know, honestly. But we play games wit' each other, or we did, to make each other mad. She'd get pissed at me and take Hailie away for a couple days."
At least she's listening, right? But- I *knew* she was gonna bring this up eventually and I'm glad it's not, so we can get it out of the way.
"I wrote 'Kim' after a particularly nasty fight we'd had and she said she was leaving me and packed Hai's stuff and said she'd never let me see her again if I didn't apologize, or some shit. I mean- that's the games we played. I tol' you, we're both pretty fucked up. Anyway- the reporters made it seem like, before, that I was like this horrible angry person, but I'm not. I get it out in the studio- when I'm screamin' into a mic with the bass pounding in my ear- *that's* when I get it out. So- most a' the shit I've said is when we was fightin' and it's like- I pour it into the songs and walk away relieved. It's like… screamin' into a pillow."
She nods a bit and seems to be processing. God- I still can't believe she's *here*. It's like… at night, when the passion quelled, we'd always be wondering- where is she now?
"Ya know… before- this doesn't excuse it," I confess. I *know* the comments and little jabs hurt Kim. That's part of why I *did* it. "Before now- maybe I got the frustration out, but part of me wanted to hurt her because that's what we did- we'd hurt each other."
"*Why*?" She asks. "That's so… twisted."
"It is. Like I said- why were we programmed to hurt each other? 'Cause all my fuckin' *life* that's all people ever did to me. Same wit' her- her parents were… *are*- terrible. I mean- not as bad as *my* mother, but her parents constantly tore her down and that's all we knew. It's like- tryin' to break out of that is… *tough*."
"Have you?"
"We're trying *really* hard. I mean- we still have little fights and shit now, but… I think we've both gotten to the point that we don't *like* hurting each other anymore- it's old. Been there, done that and it hurt too much. When it was finally *over*- when we signed the divorce papers and it was *done* and we walked away hating each other- god, it hurt *too* much. That was- *almost* as painful as walkin' away from *you*."
"So what happened between then and now?"
"We wisened up a bit, I guess. But- despite everything- the songs, the kisses, suicide attempts, drugs, alcohol- despite it all, Lily- there has *always* been love- at the very core of Kim's and my relationship- there's love. I *love* her. She's the only woman I've *ever* loved and the only one I ever will. Whether it be crazy-kid love or psycho-love… doesn't matter- it's always been there, we were just fighting it I guess. But she'll be the last person I ever kiss and I find that very comforting now."
~~~~~~~~
Wow.
"But wit' me and Kim *now*- it's better. Much better. We're talking and I really think that break made us-" he stops for a minute.
"What?"
"Well- once we let the anger go- I mean… once we *really* let it go and started talkin' and being friendly- we got to *be* friends again. I mean- we were friends before we were ever lovers. And we found that again and she and I have talked about it and we used to have fun together. We used to play around and laugh and we stopped doin' that somewhere along the way. Kids and fame really get in the way sometimes, of basic connection. So we're tryin' to build that back."
"So that break did what? Made you friends?"
Ya know- I am *so* glad he feels comfortable talking to me about this. I mean- I just… really need to understand where I came from and what there *is* here.
"It made us realize that we're *not* friends and can never *be* friends."
"Huh?"
"We're too much more- ya know- if it's too much information, tell me, but- we were really close and talkin' and shit. And Hai asked if we could all have Thanksgiving together, so Kim came over and we had a few of my friends over and my aunt and uncle and it was nice. Like we were a family again. And there was alcohol and we got *really* drunk- especially after everyone left."
I have a feeling I know where this is going, but I just listen.
"Anyway- the next morning we woke up next to each. She was wrapped around me and I hadn't realized how much I *missed* it. She felt the same way too and I tol' her I still loved her and she said the same and we-" I nod. I get it. They had sex again. "And a week later, she moved back in. We just… love each other too much to ever be done."
"I think I get it," I say. Not that it matters what I say, but- "Does Hailie know you're getting married again?"
"No," he shakes his head. "Kim asked me to ask again when I got the ring."
"Do you have it?"
"Got in Ireland."
"What's it like?"
"Well- I was lookin' for presents to bring home when I came across these really pretty Irish ring things and-"
"The Claddaugh?"
"Yeah, how'd you-"
"I've got one. My dad was Irish."
"Oh. Anyway- it's gold only the heart isn't just a gold heart, it's a diamond."
"Oh pretty!"
"Yeah, so- I think I'ma ask her on the Fourth."
"Oh neat!" I smile and… this is really nice. "I have to admit- I was… really looking forward to coming this week. I mean- I was a bit nervous, but-"
"We're really excited about it too," he says. "We- I can't tell you how grateful we are that you'd even wanna talk to us."
"I'm trying to understand," I confess. "It's hard to get, or imagine, what it was like- why you thought I couldn't live in that house because I just don't know. But I'm *trying*," I tell him. "But… how many kids' birth parents never want anything to do with them? I guess I'm lucky. I think I'd rather have people who loved me, than have been a crack whore's baby."
"Lily, we- I mean- we don't wanna crowd you or step on your feet or be where we're not wanted, but we want it all. We wanna- I mean, even if your parents *were* here, we'd want it. We wanna have our daughter back, as much as we can, as much as you want, *if* you want."
"I think I want that too," comes out of my mouth before I really think about it. But it's okay, because it's true.
He smiles huge and his eyes sparkle before he glances at his watch. "We got about twenty minutes before we land. I got Playstation?" He offers.
I try not to do that devious Grinch-smile, but- "My best friend is *still* tryin' to steal my undefeated title away from me."
"Yeah well- I'm fast wit' words but I'm faster at Playstation!" He jumps up and dives into one of the chairs that's facing the television and I follow suit.
Thus far, it's going pretty good.
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*********"MOMMY!" Hailie whines *loudly*.
"Hailie! There's no reason to *whine* like that." I'm about to go off on her about how Whit is sleeping when the phone rings. He said he'd call when they landed. "Hello," I answer the phone.
"Could I please speak with the man of the house?"
I roll my eyes. I wish she'd just give up already. "Debbie," I say. God- how many fuckin' times is she gonna call and why the fuck is she calling all of a sudden. "I swear- don't fuckin' call here again. He don't wanna *talk* to you. OKAY?"
"I need to talk to my *son*, you Bitch, so let me talk to him."
"Even if he were *here*, *Debbie*, he wouldn't talk to you. You *know* that. Jesus- so just fuckin' STOP CALLING HERE!"
"You *know* I wouldn't call if it wasn't *important*. So just-"
"NO! God- we're so over you! Marsh and I are moving on with a family- why don't you do the same?" God- she's such an evil- I mean… how could she do all the shit she's done to her kids?
"What does that mean?"
"What?"
"A family? What family?"
"Our *children*. Now just-"
"You're pregnant again, aren't you? Probably planned it with some other guy so you could- tryin' to get more money outta my son."
"And that's not why *you're* calling?"
"So you *are* pregnant?"
"None of your-" I don't know why I'm bothering. "Don't call here again," I state and hang up on her. God. Why is she calling all of a sudden?
"Mom?" Hailie asks, standing in the doorway.
"What, Sweetie?"
"Do you and Daddy love Lily more than me?"
"Oh, Hailie," I walk over and pull her hand with me. "Come sit." I sit on the couch and pull her into my lap. "There's no way I could *pick* a daughter of mine that I love more. I love you all too much to know the difference between how much I love each of you. Does that make sense?"
"Why did you give her away again?"
"Mommy got pregnant by accident, when I was very young and I was too young to keep a baby safe. Daddy and me didn't have any money and we couldn't take care of a baby the way a baby needs to be taken care of."
"Did you love Lily?"
"Yes," I sniffle. "We love Lily very much and we did then too. It's just sometimes, people have babies at the wrong time."
"What about me? Why didn't you give *me* away?"
God. She's too fuckin' smart and I'm really glad for that. "We would have, if we didn't think we couldn't take care of you, but Daddy and I were older and we could afford to have a house for ourselves and we weren't living with Grandma and-"
"Why don't we never get to see Grandma?"
"Honey- Grandma and Daddy don't get along."
"Why not?"
"Well… they've got a lot of grown-up stuff that hurts them. Grandma isn't really good with kids, which is part of the reason we gave Lily away. We wanted to keep her safe from Grandma. Remember? When Daddy and I talked to you about Grandma?" She nods her head. Debbie tried to come over here on Christmas when she dropped Nate off and she was screaming at Hailie to tell Marsh she wanted to see her Grandmother. I mean… god. "Well, there's just a lot of stuff."
She nods. "Is she my real sister?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like… will she come on my birthday and see my school plays?"
"If she can, I think so, I hope so. But she's also got a lot of school stuff too, because she goes to a very very hard school."
"Can I- call her my sister? Can I call her Sissy?"
"That's something you'll have to ask her, but Hailie- remember… she didn't know she had another family until a little bit ago and she's still sad about her mommy."
"I thought *you* were her mommy."
"Remember? She had a different mommy who died?"
"OH YEAH, I remember." I wonder when exactly we're going to have expected Hailie to understand too much. Thus far, she's doing pretty good, but…
The phone rings again. I swear- if it's *her* again- "Hello?"
"Surprise!" He says just as the bell rings.
"IS SHE HERE?!" Hailie yells, jumping out of my lap and tearing for the door.
~~~~~~~~
We hear Hailie screaming and shrieking as she swings the door open. "LILY!" She screams and practically dives into my arms and… it's nice. "GUESS WHAT? Mommy let me help make your bed! Wanna see it? Wanna?"
"Um- sure," I say and okay- little kids are fun and exciting. "Hi, Kim," I greet her as Hailie drags my hand down the hall.
"Hi!"
"See? I did it myself!"
"I see," I say with a smile. It's a bit… messy, but- "So this is where I'm gonna sleep?"
"Uh huh, can I sleep in here wichu?"
"Hailie-"
"I know. Mommy says I have to not bother you."
"It's not a bother. I just… have a few things to read tonight and I'm not sure if it'll keep you up."
"Okaaay," she sighs and jumps up on the bed.
"Hailie?"
"Uh huh?"
"Is there… anything you wanna ask me? Or talk to me about? I know it's hard for me with this- having a different family. Is it… hard for you? Confusing?"
And I'm shocked when she throws herself into the pillow and starts… crying?
"Hailie-" I sit down and touch her back. "What's wrong?"
"It's not fair!" She sobs.
"Hey- look at me…" I don't know if- I guess I'm just goin' on instinct here. When kids cry, you pick 'em up. So I slip my hands under her and pull her into my lap. "Look at me- what's not fair?"
"Daddy's always gone and Uncle Nate never comes to visit and you don't live here and everybody goes away."
"Hai-" God. I don't know what to do with this. "Hon- you know Marshall works and has to go sometimes, but he's gonna be here all summer, isn't he?"
"Yeah," she whimpers, "and then he's gonna go away again in the fall and Mommy 'n' me'll be alone and move away!"
"Hailie-" fuck. "Why don't you ask your mommy about that? Why are you gonna move away?"
"'Cause Mommy 'n' Daddy'll have another fight and Mommy'll tell me we have to go away and her and Daddy won't live together anymore and they'll get a divorce and Daddy'll stop calling me and I'll never see him again."
"God- Hailie- that'll never happen!"
"Why not?" She says, sitting back to look at me. "They sent *you* away from us."
"Oh sweetie," I say and now *I'm* crying. I hate seeing crying kids. "It's different. And I really don't think your mommy and daddy will do that. They love each other a lot and just today on the plane your dad was telling me how much he loves your mom and how excited and happy he is to have his family together."
"Really?"
"Yeah- he was just tellin' me today how much better it is between him and Kim and how much he needs her forever."
"Really?" She asks and I nod. "I just… I want 'em to be married like a real mom and dad."
"Well- maybe one day, they will," I shrug.
"Are you mad at Mommy and Daddy?"
"Why do you ask?" I mean… I'm trying to understand and I guess I'm not *mad*. I'm just… trying to understand a situation that I don't know about.
"Because you don't call them Mommy and Daddy."
"Well- they *are* my parents, but I also had a different set of parents and it's hard for me," I say, tearing up again. I miss Mom. "I just- it's hard for me to call someone else Mom, when I already had a mom."
"I'm sorry your mommy died," she says and I start crying. "I'm sorry!" She says, starting to panic. "I'm sorry, Lily- I didn't-"
"It's okay," I sob through a quasi-fake smile. "It's just a lot of times, I just start missin' her a lot."
"Like me when Daddy is gone."
"Sorta."
"Are you gonna live here?"
"I have a home," I tell her. "I live with two very good friends of my mothers named Marcie and Rob. And they have a little girl who's two and her name is Jessie. And I love them all very much."
"But I love *you* very much."
"Oh Hailie-" I hug her tightly. "I love you too."
"Really, really?"
"Really really. I've never had a little sister."
"I never had a big sister," she shrugs.
"Ya know- just because I don't call Kim and Marshall Mom and Dad, and just because I don't live here, doesn't mean we couldn't talk on the phone or spend time together."
"Really?" She says excitedly.
"Really."
"Can I- you'll prolly say no but-"
"What?"
"Can I call you 'Sissy'?"
"Um-" I wrinkle my nose a bit. "Ya know- that word, 'sissy', is used to make fun of kids in school when someone is a scaredy cat."
"Oh."
"But- ya know what?"
"What?"
"You can call me Rayne."
"Water?"
"No, no. We spell it different," I say. "But it's my middle name and my mom used to call me that as a special name. Actually- Jessie calls me Rae-Rae."
"Can I call you Rae-Rae?" She asks, her eyes lighting up like his did earlier. I wonder if *mine* do that.
"Sure," I say and ya know- something about this just… feels right.
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++++++++I buzz my lips and drop Whit down to my face and she just giggled. She *loves* when you tickle her belly or I'll hold her to my face and pretend to eat her stomach. She loves that.
"Da!" She laughs.
"More?" I ask and do it again while she laughs and whacks my head lightly.
"Marsh?"
"What?"
"Your *mom* has been calling the past week. Says it's important and-"
"Fuck her."
"Da!" Whitney whines and throw her up in the air about a foot above my head and catch her and she laughs and giggles.
"Are we *worried* they haven't come back?"
I shrug. "I don't know. Don't think Hai tied her up, do ya?"
"How'd the flight go?"
"Good. She asked about the lyrics abouchu and that stuff and I told her a bit about how things used to be wit' us and how they are now. I think she got it a bit, as much as one can, since *I* barely get it."
"Let's see if they want lunch."
"Wanna go swimming after?"
"Sure," she says.
"Gimme a kiss first," I tell her and hold Whit with one arm and wrap the other around her and pull her against me.
"Mamamamama!" Whit coos happily as I press my lips against Kim's softly.
"How's the mama and baby?"
"Good," she states. "Not too nauseous this morning too, so go us!"
*********
Marshall follows me back to the room we thought Lily would like and- oh my god.
I can't help but gasp and tear just a little bit to find my two daughters sitting on the bed with their hair in about twenty hair ties all twisted and braided all over. "Mommy!" Hailie says. "LOOK! RAE-RAE DID MY HAIR!"
"I see."
"Go for a swim after lunch?" Marsh asks and they both nod and jump up off the bed.
God. This is just… my dream come true.
Rain, Hailie, Whitney, Marshall and baby makes five. My family is finally coming together. Life is finally gettin' to where it *should* be. So what's gonna happen to fuck it up?
Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com
These stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.