-Prisoner-
21
I'm not gonna give up on this dammit.
I take his path up the stairs and then up the stairs to his room and I can hear the water going in the bathroom. I knock on the door but he doesn't answer and it's locked. Dammit. "Em? Can I come in?" I call through the door.
Fuck. I knock louder. "Lemme in, Marsh," I say.
No answer.
Okay- I'm dripping wet and… leaking *us*. So… I sigh. Shit. "Baby- please… I wanna shower."
"Do it downstairs," he says. "I just… need a few minutes."
Okay. I can respect that. I guess. But- god dammit. I wanna know what's bothering him.
I go downstairs and grab my bag before heading to the bathroom. I run a hot shower and I hate the smell of chlorine. It rises from my skin and fills my nostrils as I wash it away.
God- what the hell *happened*?
What do I now know what it's like?
Not coming?
He *always* comes. I never *not* let him come. Like I have that much control over him to begin with. What the hell?
I mean- and then… when I was gettin' off- the way he was lookin' at me… what *was* that?
Pain? We're happy. Aren't we?
I mean- we're boyfriend and girlfriend- we're exclusive. Unless… he's mad about that guy in the alley- but I didn't- maybe he doesn't believe me.
But he doesn't seem the type to let that go if he was still angry about it. I mean… considering that he took a *gun* after Kim and that guy. Not that I know a hell of a lot about that- because he doesn't really talk much about it. Conversations with him mainly revolve around Hailie and his friends.
So… what the fuck *happened*?
I was about to tell him that I love how he feels. I said 'I *love*' and then he came and-
Did he- think I was gonna-
Which means he-
Ohgod.
I'm *really* stupid.
I hurry through the rest of my shower and throw on a robe. Fuck. I run upstairs and find his room empty. His bathroom is empty as well.
Shit. "Marsh?" I call out to the empty house. "MARSHALL?! WHERE ARE YOU? *PLEASE* TELL ME!"
I look all over- the living room, dining room, guest rooms, Hailie's room, the pool, the studio, family room, his office… fuck. I walk into the kitchen and his keys are gone. I look out into the garage and his Expedition is gone too. "FUCK!"
I walk into the kitchen and notice a small post-it note on the fridge.
"Went to 54. Had to think. Later, Em."
Fuck.
Okay. Think. He's at 54. I can get there, can't I?
I walk over to his phone. I'ma call the operator and ask for the address. But- I get a better idea. He's got numbers on speed dial. I press star one.
"Hey, Dog. What up?"
"Um. Hi. Proof?"
"Who the fuck is this?" He asks.
"You don't know me. But- uh… I'm a friend. Of Marshall's."
"Who *is* this, Bitch? And what the fuck are you doin' at his house?"
"I'm Eva and I-"
"Eva?" He asks questioningly. Ohgod- he doesn't *actually* talk about me, huh? Fuck.
"Yeah. We've been- I mean we're- shit, I thought you'd know about-"
"Relax, Eva. I know about you- he does nothing *but* talk 'bout you. Why the hell are you callin' *me*?"
"I think I fucked up a bit. And… he left. Left me a note that he went to 54 and I don't know where it is. I wanna go to him and- things are complicated."
"Like because he's head over heels and you're just usin' him?"
Using him?
"I'm not *usin'* him," I say. How dare he-
"Aren't you? Look, I don't know you from a hole in the wall. But I *know* *him*. And you're tearin' him up inside, Girl. He tryin' not to admit it, but- fuck. We all see it. Fuck any guy all ya want- but stop fuckin' wit' Marshall."
God. Am I? Hurting him?
I don't *want* to. I didn't *mean* to.
I mean… *am* I just using him?
NO. I *like* him. I- "Look- I just… am *not* good at this. But- I like him. He means a lot to me and I gotta… *tell* him that. You gonna help or what?"
There's a few minutes of silence. Shit. Did he hang- "I'll be there in twenty minutes and I'll take you there."
"Thank-"
<Click.>
Oh. Okay. I guess I deserve that.
I mean… okay. I gotta get dressed.
I pull on a pair of low cut jeans and a red bra and plain red t-shirt. A pair of sandals and a bandana on my head to keep my hair out of my face and I'm waiting at the end of the driveway for him.
He thinks I'm just *using* him… for sex. Here I was, happy I was gettin' what *I* need and I'm completely ignoring *his* feelings. Usin' him to get off without returning the feelings I claim to have. Stupid. I'm *so* stupid.
And I wondered why he wasn't introducing me to his friends? Duh. Would *I* want *my* friends to see someone treating *me* like a whore?
I need to *show* him that I care about him. That it's okay if he *does* love me. That I can respect that. That I *want* his love. That I deserve it.
A Mustang pulls up and the window rolls down. "Get in."
I open the door and take my seat next to one of Em's *closest* friends who probably thinks I'm tryin' to get wit' Em because of who he is, who thinks I'm *using* his *best* *friend*. Shit.
"Hi. I'm- Eva."
"He said you were hot, but- didn't do you justice."
"Thanks. Look- I'm- grateful for-"
"Don't make me regret it," he says. "It's *really* hard for Em… to get close to *anyone*. And then he started sayin' he was seein' this… girl. And-"
"You were expectin' to see the sordid details spread across the tabloids."
"Well- yeah. He kept insisting you was different. But-"
"This has *not* been perfect. Far from it. But… whether you believe me or not- I *do* care about him. I just… don't think I've ever really told him that."
Ten minutes later, he pulls into a parking lot and I see Em's SUV parked there too. Otherwise, the parking lot is bare.
He gets out of the car and I do too. I follow him to the door and he apparently has keys to the place. Once we're inside, he points to a door. "He's prolly in the studio. Through there."
"Thanks," I tell him. "I really-"
"Just *go* to him. He deserves to be happy."
"I agree." And I'm gonna do my best to try and make that happen.
22
He leaves, locking the doors behind him.
I take a deep breath and open the door that he pointed at. As soon as I open it, a thick deep angry bass hits me. I hear it coming out of the speakers that adorn the hallway. It's catchy- like the music from 'Kim' on a combo of speed and X. I walk down the hallway and peak into the windows on the doors looking for him. Suddenly, his voice comes through the speaker, beyond angry- desperate and hateful.
I still and listen to his words as he spits them and rocks the place with his venom.
The rhyme seems to flow from his mouth- speaking about his mom. How she'd fuck with his mind and the things she'd say to him. And then Kim- how she fucked him over and hurt him. Ohgod- he just… something about her and him- bein' back together and then he found out she cheated on him and got pregnant.
"Fuck you, Bitch. Now you fuck me!" Becomes part of the hateful hook.
And… verse two? About girls- a bunch of girls- his fans. All the women who wanna fuck him. "Yeah, I'll let it happen. Just a guy, filthy rich- I'm gonna stop myself from comin'? Fuck no Bitch." And ya know- way before- when I thought maybe he was lonely… I can *hear* it in his voice. It's full of pain.
I walk to the next door and look inside the window as the hook starts again and I see him standin' in the room, behind the glass with the headphones on, spittin' into the microphone.
"Love don't cost no thing, costs too fuckin' much. And the girl I wanna get wit', don't nuttin' but my dick. So yeah, I fuck her, kiss her, eat her out. And scream when I bust in her mouth. But I ain't fuckin' stupid-" He goes on about how he'll never be nothin' to her, *me*, except a dick to fuck. Shit. I *really* *did* hurt him.
"And finally found a girl I wanna be wit' but she don't want nuttin' but to fuck my dick. So FUCK YOU BITCH! NOW YOU FUCK ME! FUCK ME!"
I get goosebumps as he screams the last chorus into the mic. God- he's so angry and upset, it sounds like his throat should be bleeding by now.
And how have I treated him?
Like fuckin' *shit*- that's how.
The music winds down and then I hear him whisper, "But long as you fuck me, I can pretend you luve me…" he sighs and adds, "and that's what *really* fucks me." He wipes his eyes as he puts the headphones down.
Is *this* what he does? When I wake up at four in the morning and he's not in bed? He's writing things like this about me? To get his anger out so he can come back to bed in the morning and pretend for *my* benefit?
I open the door and enter and he looks at me through the glass. He's… surprised? Shocked? Still angry? Even angrier that I caught him quasi-crying? He's not a guy that likes to be weak- especially by women, in front of women. That's what shocked me when he actually let me tie him to the bed. I *still* can't get over that one.
"What are you-" he starts and then stops. He opens the door and leaves the soundproof room. "What are you- how did you *get* here?"
"Speed dial is labeled on your kitchen phone. Proof is nice."
"And he brought you here? I wanna be *alone*."
"No," I say softly. "You don't."
"Eva- I just- *this* is how I deal wit' shit and I do it in private."
"I'm sorry," I say and it seems *so* lame now.
"I got work to do," he says and sits down in front of the controls.
I don't know what to do now.
I don't think he fucked me up as much as I've fucked *him* up.
I walk over to him, stand behind him and… tentatively touch his shoulders. And then I get an idea. If he's hell bent on ignoring me, I'ma make is really hard for him to do that.
I pull one of the stools over and sit myself behind him as he replays the track and he's busy playin' with buttons and adjusting the base and voice quality.
I kiss the back of his neck softly, with a bit of tongue and gentle suction. Kiss him more like that, on his neck, while rubbing his back. I pull his shirt up to expose his back and he doesn't stop me and doesn't protest either, so… I move my lips to his back and pepper his shoulder blades with soft, wet kisses.
I keep my hands on his sides as I kiss and lick his back softly. I run my tongue up his spine and slowly slide my hands around his tummy and down to his lap.
He catches my wrists and says, "Stop it."
But I keep kissing his back softly. I move my lips up to his neck again and lean up to nibble his ear softly. "Stop," he says again. "I can't do this. I-"
"Love me. I know."
"Then… why you here?" He asks and let's go of my wrists.
I put his shirt down and hug him from behind. "Because I wanna *be* with you. And I'm fuckin' *stupid* for making you feel like your feelings didn't matter to me because they do. 'Cause I'm new to this relationship shit and I didn't realize how much I was hurting you and you don't deserve that."
"What are you talkin' about?"
"I'm talkin' about you deserving someone who isn't selfish or make you feel bad. And I wanna *be* that person. But… I can't say it yet. I care about you- a *lot*- more than I *have*… for anyone else. I just- don't know how to go from this to that. Ya know? And that's unfair to you."
He doesn't say anything, just sighs. I kiss his cheek softly before saying, "I don't *know* how to say what I feel- I like you? Care about you? Have feelings for you? They all seem so stupid. I wanna… *show* you."
"Show me?" He asks.
"Take me home?" I suggest softly.
He nods his head and stands up. We hold hands on the way out the car and when we're on the road, with my hand resting on his thigh, I ask, "So- you two were back together when she got pregnant?"
"Huh?"
"Kim?"
"Oh. Yeah. We were gonna try again- for Hailie. It was goin' good for a few months- we were datin'- spendin' time, talkin' different than we had before. And then she tells me one day that she's pregnant. Thought I was gonna be a daddy again and- we go to the doctor's and he says she's two and a half months pregnant, but we'd only been… intimate again for like three weeks."
"Oh… that's- I'm sorry. Whad she say?"
"Tried to deny it, say the test was wrong- but… I knew. It'd happened again and-"
"And then I spend the first seven months practically *flaunting* how I was fuckin' other guys."
God- I was *soo* stupid. Cruel.
But that's gonna change.
He shrugs it off- what I said- like… it's okay. "You never tried to-"
"*NO*," I say forcefully. "What I did was *wrong*. And not fair and you don't deserve that. You've been nothing but kind and respectful of me and I spat in your face."
He's quiet from the rest of the ride but my hand stays on his thigh, my thumb rubbing his leg.
Dammit. I could practically *cry* for him.
And I haven't been treating him any better than any of the others.
I've gotta show him I *am* better.
Because I *am*.
23
He pulls into the garage and shuts the truck off.
He just sits for a minute and I slide a bit closer to him and kiss his cheek gently. He moans softly and turns so his lips meet mine in a sweet, tender kiss. I lick the tip of his tongue before delicately tracing his lips. Shit. The sensuousness of the kiss is enough to undo me. Or *would* have been enough to drive me crazy- make me be fucking him in two seconds.
But it's… *nice*. *Really* nice. Torturously slow. And I want more- the tickle of his tongue against mine. I raise my hand to his cheek gently and caress him as I kiss him tenderly. And that's the only contact we have- our mouths and my hand. He makes no move to touch me other than with the tip of his tongue or lips.
I slide my tongue along his slowly, over and over again just like… like his tongue does to my insides when he has me tied to the bed and he's slowly pushing his tongue into my folds. I do that to his mouth- slowly, soft.
And the kiss just sort of… ends- on its own, after a few minutes- ten minutes, five minutes, an hour- I'm not sure how long. I lost track of time and my body and all I could feel was the feel of his tongue against mine.
"I love you," he whispers before opening his eyes- like he didn't want to-
"See me," I answer. "Look at me and tell me."
He opens those gorgeous blue eyes and I swear- I was blind not to have seen it before- in his eyes. Cold in the pictures- thug-like for image. But… all I see is complete and utter vulnerability right now. "I *love* you, Eva. Christ- I love you too much."
God- I wish I could say it back. I wish I could, but all I can give him is an 'I like you' or 'I care about you' and those aren't good enough. But… I feel so much more for him than I ever have. I feel like I can tell him anything- that it'd be okay. Like he accepts my past and understands it and- when I'm with him- I *feel* him- with me. It's not just physical it's… *more*. I *feel* him. I just… feel.
"I *feel* you," is my response and it seems to mean as much to him as it does to me. It's what I can give and it's so much more than I've ever given.
He nods and I lean forward and kiss him again, softly.
"I *need* you," I say softly. And it's not a lie. I do. I need to feel him inside me- filling me- knowing he loves me. And if I'm selfish for a second, I'd like to hear him whisper the words as he comes inside me.
God- the familiar pulsing between my thighs is ever present; but- it's not driving me crazy, not making me shake with need. No- I'm trembling- but not in need. In nervousness- anticipation even.
We get out of the car and I follow him into the kitchen. Soon as I close the door to the garage, he's got me pressed against it and is kissing me, deeply- needy- not that I mind, but-
I place my hands on his shoulders and push away and this time, *I'm* the one that says, "Stop."
"Wh-" but I place my finger on his lips before kissing him softly.
I take his hands and walk backwards, pulling him toward the stairs. I pause to kiss him at the bottom of the steps before walking up, backwards, as he follows me.
God- I was so fuckin' stupid. How come I didn't see it in his eyes? Shit- I could see something in my *own*- but never in his? Or did I just never bother looking?
We get up to his room and kick our shoes off as we kiss tenderly.
He breaks away and I push my jeans off my hips as he walks over to the dresser. Oh- right. I walk over and stand behind him, and I rub his arms as my hands slip into his. I take the bandanas out of his hands and place them back in the drawer. "Not tonight," I whisper.
"What?" He asks, shocked. I know. I told him… I'd *never*- but- I was wrong.
"You heard me," I say before pulling his shirt up over his head. I toss it aside and close the drawer before running my hands up and down his abs while I kiss his shoulder softly. "C'mon," I whisper and pull him back toward the bed with me. "Lay down," I tell him.
He does. And he's so funny- his eyes are so full of disbelief. Mine would be too if it were me.
I pull *my* t-shirt off and toss it aside because I like to feel his skin against mine. *And* I bought this bra and thong just for him. I'm always tellin' how good he looks in the baby blue color.
Then, I crawl up the bed to kneel between his legs and our tongues meet again, this time a deeper, sensuous kiss. My fingers lightly trail down his chest. I end the kiss with a small peck on his lips before running my tongue down his chin and take the time to trace his Adam's apple.
I kiss my way over to his left shoulder and kiss my way down his arm. I like the taste of his skin and I take a few extra minutes to kiss the palm of his hand. That look in his eyes is incredible- like he's never seen anything sexier.
"Whacha thinkin'?" I ask as I kiss my down his other arm.
"Can't *form* a thought," he mutters and relaxes under my mouth. I press a soft wet kiss to his right palm before placing it back down on the bed.
I toss him a lazy smile before placing my mouth over one of his nipples and kiss him there too. First one, then the other.
I softly hold the sides of his sides, right above his hips, as I slide my tongue down to his belly button. "Shit," he groans as I basically French-kiss his tattoo.
"She didn't treat you right," I say of Kim. But… I'm sorta speakin' about myself too. "Didn't realize how much passion you have in your body- how deeply you love…"
"Evaaaa-" he groans.
I continue my assault of his navel as I unbutton and unzip his jeans. Funny- I just realized how wet I am right now- just from… loving my man this way- giving him what *he* needs.
He lifts his hips so I can push his jeans down around his thighs.
I smile against his stomach before pushing his boxers down just a bit. I push them down very, very slowly, and kiss his skin softly as it's revealed. "Shit- Eva," he groans and I feel one of his hands in my hair, gently guiding me downward.
"Shh… patience, mi amor," I say, purring my 'r' against his skin. As he pushes me down a bit, I spread my legs a bit so I can get at him with my mouth and moan softly as a cool rush of air hits my moist center. Shit. Feels so good like that. Makes me aware of my own desire for him.
I push his boxers the last inch needed to reveal my prize. He's hard and I hold him in my hands and feel him throbbing in my palms as his blood pumps through him.
I press a soft kiss to the tip of his erection before sliding down to the end of the bed. I pull his jeans the rest of the way and his boxers come off too. Socks as well.
"Lose the thong," he whispers, like he couldn't find his voice. I nod and slide it off my legs.
I crawl back up the bed and pause at his thighs. I kiss his inner thighs and lick my way up to his- "Evaaaa- fuck. Don't. I'll come all over."
"So?" I ask, before sucking one of his balls into my mouth. His hands bury themselves in my hair and try to pull me away. I let it fall from my mouth and laugh a bit before licking up his length.
"*Eva*- c'mon, Baby."
I allow him to pull me up to him and meet his lips in a passionate frenzy. His hands slide up my back and he removes my bra from me.
My hand guides him to my dripping entrance and I sink down on him ever so slowly- making us both whimper in a quiet supplication.
Ohgod- it's *never* felt like this. Never felt him so alive inside me.
We stay joined and he pulls my body flush against him as we kiss more- barely even *moving* our hips. The only thing I feel is his arms holding my body against his and his tongue inside my mouth and his breath, escaping his nose in unevenness- like my own.
He rolls us over gently and I tilt my hips to drawn him in a bit deeper. He pulls out of me and sinks back in, deliciously slowly, so I can feel each centimeter of his length stretch me. Shit. My breath is in soft pants now but it doesn't matter because we're kissing and he's inside me and we're… making love.
With no ties.
I'm *here* with him. I… "I *feel* you," I repeat my words from earlier.
"I love you too, Eva," he whispers between kisses.
I don't know how long we keep the rhythm of our bodies- slowly undulating together… him gently rocking into me. Seems like hours before I finally feel him start to tense a bit and he's holding it- changes the angle of his hips so every time he sinks into me, his penis rubs my clit. "Shiiiit," I groan and follow it with words that I'm not even sure *are* a language. The rhythm speeds a bit and I'm so close to careening over the edge.
"Te quiero, Eva," he whispers- ohgod… that does it. And I feel him spilling inside me and I'm coming too- gently- it just… washes over me and my entire body goes limp.
God- he told me he loves me… in Spanish.
24
Shit. I hold him close to me, crush him against my chest and his head is buried in the crook of my neck, kissing me softly.
My legs are wrapped over his and… god. That was- *amazing*.
I don't even know what to say, so I don't. I just sigh and close my eyes.
And I don't open them for- what? A couple hours? When I feel him untangling himself from me. "Nooo," I groan. "Stay."
"I am, Baby. I just- thought I'd clean us up. And… I'm kinda-"
"Hungry?" I ask groggily opening my eyes. He smiles at me before kissing me. "I'm rubbing off on ya," I tease him. But I love that about him. That he likes to eat as much as I do. And I *do*. We could order an eight cut and I'd eat at *least* half right now.
"Maybe. But that ain't so bad," he shrugs and I lean up to kiss him softly. He sighs and rests his forehead on my shoulder. "You… I mean… *we*… made love. Didn't we? Together?"
"We did," I answer. "And I think we did it pretty well," I add.
"That we did," he says. "I… *know* you can't… *say* it- and it doesn't always have to be like this, ya know." He raises his head and looks into my eyes with a smirk. "I kinda like when you fuck us into oblivion… or when I got you tied up. We can still *have* those things."
"But," I say, softly caressing his face, "we can also have *this*. *I* can have this."
And I *can*.
"Even *I* haven't had *this* before," he says. "It's different with you, Eva. And I'm *hungry*. So… lemme up." I let him go and he gets off the bed and offers me a hand.
I follow him into the bathroom and we hop into the shower. "So… where'd you learn it?"
"What?" He asks.
"Te quiero," I answer. "Where'd you-"
"I got my ways," he says slyly. "Did you… *hear* the whole song?"
"Yeah," I confess.
"Whad you think?"
"It's… amazing. I *really* think you should put it on the album."
"Kinda personal."
"Yeah- but… that's the shit that people dig."
Once we're washed we towel off and he throws me one of his t-shirts. He's too funny. He always says there's nothing sexier than a gorgeous woman in one of his t-shirts. And I always ask him how many sexy women he's given his t-shirt to. And he always answers, 'just one'.
"So…" he pulls on a pair of boxers and wraps his arms around my waist as we head for the stairs. "What's on the menu, my sweet?"
"Dunno. Whacha got?"
"Pizza- course it's from a few days ago. Hai *begged* me for it. So… we can heat it up."
"What else?" I ask. "I'm *starved*."
"Ooo!" He runs over to the cabinet and smiles triumphantly when he reveals- "Only the *best* thing since sliced bread!"
"Mac and cheese?" I question.
"Fuck yeah- you ain't never *had* it *my* way. Hai says it's the best she ever had."
"You're her daddy- of course she's gonna tell you it's the best."
"Yeah… but it really is." I heat the pizza while he puts water on for the macaroni.
"Ah!!" I sigh and bite into a piece. I stand behind him and offer him a bite. "Nothin' like nuked pizza, is there?"
"A *few* things, but…"
I smile and wrap my left arm around his waist. I look over his shoulder as we eat the pizza and the water begins to boil. "Baby?"
"What?"
"How come you never *told* me?"
"Told ya what?" He asks, turning his head for a quick kiss and another bite.
"Told me what you were feeling. I mean… you didn't tell me- when did you *know*?"
"Know what?"
"When did you fall in love with me?" I ask. I gotta know how long I've really been trampling on his feelings.
He shrugs, "dunno. Somewhere 'round Easter?"
"Four *months* ago?"
"Dunno. Not somethin' I just… *decided*. Just… happened. Like… one mornin' when I woke up and saw you sleepin'- I just… had this thought- like… 'I love her'."
I step away from him. "And you just… put up with me? With my shit? And god- I was…" fucking around. Until he gave me the ring- I was fuckin' around and *telling* him I was. I fuckin'… *told* him about a few of my dates. God… "I'm so sorry. Why the hell didn't you-"
He shrugs again. "Just what happens, I guess."
"Not anymore," I resolve. "I'm *yours*," I tell him. "And you're *mine*. My body's for you alone. Nobody else. *Your* pleasure, *your* eyes and hands."
"You sure?" He asks. Fuck- is he *still* expecting me to-
"YES," I answer with no hesitation. "You're the *only* one I've *ever* felt. The only one I *want* to feel. With or without the ties."
"I don't… didn't… exclude you from my friends. I mean- I told 'em all abouchu, but I thought that- if I pushed too much, you'd never come back. I'd rather have *part* of you- than nothing."
I nod. "I understand. Just… promise me something?"
"What?"
"That we don't let this miscommunication shit get us in trouble again."
"Deal. Okay- you ready for the best fuckin' mac and cheese you'll ever eat?"
25
I'm hugging a pillow.
That's the first thing I notice.
The second thing is the hand that's resting on the small of my back and the pair of lips that are kissing my shoulder blades. "Mmm… morning," I groan. I open my eyes slowly and see that he's closed the blinds, but it's *very* bright outside.
I turn over into his arms and kiss him softly- that slow kiss from last night. Shit- I don't think I've ever kissed just to kiss and not to initiate sex.
"Hungry?" He asks.
"After going again earlier? Hell yeah," I smile. And that's the truth. We ate macaroni and cheese and then made mad passionate love *again*. To 'prove it wasn't luck'- he said.
"Good. I'm makin' pancakes. So throw on a pair of pants and shirt and come down."
He jumps off the bed. "Huh? Why can't I just wear-"
"DAAADDEEEEEE!!!" I hear in the- ohgod.
Hailie's here? I didn't… I thought she was gone for-
Fuck!
"BE RIGHT DOWN, BABY!" He screams down and flops down onto the bed beside me and kisses my forehead. "Come down for breakfast."
"But- she's… *here*?"
"I called Kim and asked if she could drop her off earlier today, 'stead of later."
"But-" ohgod- am I… crying?
"Come down and meet my *daughter*." With that- he leaves and… fuck.
I guess I'll… get dressed?
But… Hailie's here?! I'm not supposed to… I mean- she's… and-
Ohgod. Before I know it, I'm walking downstairs and stand in the doorway of the kitchen. He's standing in front of the stove. Next to him, there's a little girl kneeling on the counter with a ladle in her hand, pouring batter into the pan.
"…so then- she said somethin' about a puppy or… somethin'. But I wasn't paying attention because Rick was like- 'uh duh!' It was so funny, Daddy!"
"Put a little more on that one, Baby." He points to one of them and she does.
Ohgod- she's so… beautiful. The pictures floating around on the net don't do her justice- catch her at bad angles or whatever. But- ohgod ohgod. I can't-
"Hey, Sleepy," he says, looking at me.
She looks at me too and what the hell did he SAY to her? She smiles a bright smile and her eyes actually sparkle a little, like his. People don't see that part of him because he rarely smiles in press- but, "HI!" She says with another bright smile.
"Hi," I say, softly smiling back.
"You're my daddy's girlfriend!" Okay- *that's* what he told her.
"Um… yes?" Shit- I wish he woulda pre*pared* me for this. I mean… what the hell? I don't know what the hell to do around a kid! I was perfectly happy *not*- I mean… he always talks about her- but I was never one to babysit or whatever. What the hell do *I* know about kids?!
Shit. He must sense that look of panic on my face because he sweeps her off the counter and says, "Run into the other room and see if there's any cartoons on we can watch."
"'Kay!" She says and runs past me.
What the- "Relax," he says, flipping a couple pancakes over.
"Relax?! ReLAX? This is *not* a… relaxing situation- I mean… what the hell were you thinking? It's your freakin' *daughter* and-" he silences me by pressing his lips to mine and I sigh… and relax.
"I've *told* her I was seeing someone- for a few months now and she wanted to meet you. And I've wanted you to meet her for a while.
"Then why didn't I? I mean-"
"'Cause until last night- I couldn't."
"Huh?"
He walks back over to the stove and I sit on one of the stools and lean on the counter. "Because I couldn't- didn't *want* you to get close to her unless I knew you could be close to *me*. She's my daughter- she's the most important thing in my life and- I didn't want her getting attached if I wasn't sure how you really-"
"Felt? I get it." God- it was all *my* fault. "I just… I have no idea what to do with a kid. I don't have no siblings or anything and-"
"Just be yourself," is his brilliant response. "You're funny, smart, honest and really nice. She'll love you. I know *I* do."
"Does she- know that we- I mean…"
"She knows you slept over. She doesn't know exactly what sex is- but she knows it's what grown-ups do in bed when they're naked."
"DAD!!" She comes running in. "We just *missed* Dora the Explorer! I wanted to see it!"
"I'm sorry, Baby. Them are the breaks," he shrugs.
"Well, if we *had* T-Bo- like everyone *else*- then we could just record it."
"Okay, Miss Smarty Pants- I'll think about it. But do you really think more television is necessary?"
"Yes," she answers. God- he's so… natural- with her. She glances at me and smiles. "Daddy says you speak Spanish."
"I do," I answer. "Why?"
"Because we're learning it in la escuela," she beams proudly when she incorporates the word into her sentence.
"Ah, really? Numbers and letters or how to talk?" I ask.
"Los dos," she shrugs. "Say something in Spanish!" She says, climbing up on the stool next to me.
"¿Qué quieres que diga?"
She shrugs. "I dunno *what* you just said."
"I asked what you wanted me to say."
"Tell me… that my name is Hailie and I have the best daddy in the world!"
"Bueno, te llamas Hailie y el padre tuyo es lo mejor del mundo."
"Hear that, Dad? Sounds good in Spanish too!" She says. "Are they almost ready? I'm hungry."
"Your mother said you had a muffin this morning."
"I did, but that was so long ago, *Dad*."
"*Yeah*," I repeat, teasing him. He sticks his tongue out at me and if Hailie wasn't here, I'd probably jump over there, tackle him to the ground and *bite* it. So I just raise an eyebrow suggestively at him, which she doesn't see, and he immediately stops.
"Fine- you ladies wanna set the table?"
"C'mon!" She jumps off the bench and grabs my hand. She yanks me over to the cabinets and points to the one with the plates. "I can't reach! Can you-"
"Yeah, yeah." I hand her the plates and she pulls out forks and knives and I follow her into the dining room. "So- your dad says you like the water."
"Oh my god! He says I'm a fish! We should go swimming later!" She's so full of energy. Hard to imagine her ever *sleeping*. "I gotta have a bath for school anyway. Are you gonna sleep over tonight? Because Sunday night is *always* movie night and you could watch with us? I haven't decided what to watch yet though- maybe Little Mermaid, have you seen that?"
"Hailie- simmer down!" He says, walking into the room with the plate of pancakes. I watch and *have* to laugh as she basically 'twists' her body to the ground.
"I simmered!"
She's *so* cute- a lot like him- when he's playful. How he *used* to be- not the past few months- but.. can I blame him? He must have been… god- torn *up* inside.
"You're makin' me dizzy, Hai-Hai. Go git the syrup." She scampers off on all fours. "You're doing great," he says, kissing my forehead softly. "She's… hyper."
"She reminds me of you."
Part 6
Author: crazyevildru@yahoo.com
Back to fan fiction indexThese stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.