Author's Note: I just want to give GREAT BIG THANK'S to everyone that left me feedback...Sky, Brittany, Short Stuff, Phreakyy, SteCMC, Amy, mememe, crackedporcelain, Mary, Taz, RaeRea, Thaly-Ann, Tine, Stephanie, Jae, Gem, Kathy, tiff600, Mandy, chels, Kai, Novelle, Lilshorty2140 and Cassidy...last but certainly not least...thanks Kate for the beautiful review...I was very touched by that!!!
~CHAPTER 8~
Sun filtered through the slats on the curtains dimly illuminating the room, signaling that morning had arrived. Taylor stretched lazily and turned to face Marshall. He was laying on his side with his arms cuddled softly underneath the pillow cushioning his head. He looked so...her mind searched for an appropriate word, finally landing on heavenly. He looked so damn heavenly lying there flushed from sleep with his arms tucked tight underneath his pillow. Her heart did that annoying little flutter that always left her breathless and she sighed. He was going to be the destruction of the woman that she’d fought so hard to become, the first blow had already been delivered but watching him lying there she knew one thing for certain ‘She had no other choice, she loved him!...honestly Taylor...’ her mind taunted her ‘How could you not love him?’ She knew the answer ‘There was simply no way, it’d be impossible’ She reached out, softly running the tips of her fingers across the curve of his cheek and his eyes fluttered open...
“Hey” he said sleepily.
“Hey..”
“We’ve never done this before”
“Nope..”
“It’s nice...”
Her heart painfully constricted in her chest but she pushed that aside “Don’t go getting all romantic on me now Mathers”
When he frowned at her with that wicked little pout of his that constriction in her chest got tighter and completely closed off all flow when he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers before backing up and scooting out of bed. She watched him walk into the bathroom and shut the door before letting out the pent up breath she’d been holding. ‘You’re in deep shit Taylor...really, really deep shit’
~*~
They sat across from each other at his table, in his kitchen eating breakfast. He was certainly right about one thing, they had never done this before. It had always been the same scenario every time they were together..he’d fuck her, he’d fall asleep with her and in the morning he’d be gone. Sometimes he’d leave a note, sometimes he wouldn’t. That was the nature of their relationship. They were..her mind rummaged around again for an appropriate title.. ‘Fuck Friends’ she surmised, that summed it up best.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked. He’d been watching her for the last few minutes and it was obvious that she had something on her mind.
“Huh?” she asked looking up at him, “Oh...nothing, just thinking.”
“About?” he prodded.
“Nothing important...work” she threw out there in hopes he’d drop the subject.
“So...you’re a lawyer, huh?”
“Yep” she smiled “got a problem with that?”
“I sincerely detest lawyers” he smirked.
“I imagine you do...”
“Ha, ha” he said dryly “you like what you do?”
She shrugged “Pays the bills..”
“And then some, I’d imagine” he teased.
“I guess it does” she shrugged again. She wasn’t completely fond of her profession. Maybe years ago when she’d been young and innocent she’d gone into it for the right reasons but she’d been around long enough now to learn that being a lawyer was a shit job that more than not got someone off who would have undoubtedly been more at home in the slammer.
“What made you want to be a lawyer?” he asked sincerely.
“Blind ambition, I suppose” she answered simply.
“You gotta work today?”
“I should” she smiled “but I think I’ll skip it. Morgan can handle the office without me for one day.”
“Morgan, that your friend?”
“Yeah” she smiled.
“I believe I had the...” he coughed exaggeratedly “pleasure of meeting her last night”
“Did you?” she asked rasing an eyebrow. Morgan could be a hard ass about things and she hated to see Taylor hurting, “how’d it go?”
“I think she hates me” he shrugged “but other than that, ok”
She laughed, a rich and hearty laugh that made him smile. ‘God, she’s so beautiful when she laughs...her whole face lights up’ he thought watching her. He didn’t know where they were going. He wasn’t looking for love or a serious relationship, he liked the way they were now. It was simple, it was easy and that’s how he wanted it to stay.
“It’s awful quiet around here” she said looking around his kitchen, “we alone?”
“Yep” he smiled “Hai spent the night at a friends house”
“Ahhhh, I see”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. The condescending tone in her voice had put him on edge.
“Nothing” she said smoothly “I just figured out why you invited me here, that’s all”
“Really? And why’s that?”
“Because there’s no one here” she said simply “no explanations to make.”
“Explanations?”
“Me” she shrugged “I imagine it’d be awkward explaining to your daughter who I am and what I’m doing here.” He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off, “Hey, you don’t have to say anything Marshall. I told you last night, I know what we are! I could have stopped it, I should have but I didn’t...” she looked up at him, met his eyes and held them, “just please have enough respect for me not to go sticking your dick in anything unprotected...”
“Taylor..”
“Don’t...” she pleaded with her eyes “please...just...come here”
He pushed out of his chair and walked around the table, stopping to stand in front of her. She quickly masked the pain in her eyes before looking up at him with a smile plastered on her face...
“Well...we’re all alone here Mathers” she smiled “the possibilities are endless...”
He grabbed her hands pulling her out of the chair and jerked her up against his chest, “Yes, we are...” he purred.
He swiped his hand across the table knocking the breakfast dishes to the floor before grasping her hips, lifting her up and sitting her on the edge of the table. He grabbed the tie of his robe, which oddly enough looked right on her, loosening it before pushing her back against the smooth wood of the table.
“Have I ever told you how fucking sexy you are?” he asked, his voice thick with lust.
She shook her head reaching for him, dragging his head down until his lips met hers. Their lips parted and their tongues slid in to tangle with each others. The kiss was far more gentle then she’d intended it to be. It was soft and tender. Their tongues mingling, slowly sliding together. He’d never been this gentle with her. It was always like a flash fire, quick and brutal so when she felt him tenderly slide into her body she almost came undone. She whimpered brokenly and had to fight the urge to cry.
“What is it baby?” he whispered against her lips “what do you need?”
She couldn’t speak. There were a thousand things spiraling through her head that she wanted to say but she knew better then to say any of the words that longed to spill from her mouth so instead she wrapped her legs tightly around his hips and pulled him deeper into her body.
“Taylor..” he moaned.
She was pulling him into her body, it was intoxicating. The pressure of her legs wrapped around him dragging him into her heat was mind blowing. She wouldn’t release her hold on him. It was as if she couldn’t get him deep enough, the deeper he went, the harder she pulled.
“Fuck, baby...”
“I wanna feel you” she whispered “please...I wanna feel you cum...”
Her words were his undoing. His whole body tensed and he did as she asked, he came bathing her insides. The feel of his cum leaking into her body was all it took to have her following him into heaven, whimpering his name...
~*~
“I gotta go” she smiled heading for the door.
They’d made love numerous times, moving from room to room, surface to surface. Sating themselves in each other over and over again and yet the desire she felt for him wasn’t quenched, her body still felt parched but she had to get out of here. His daughter would be home soon and though it hadn’t been brought up again she pretty much knew that he didn’t want to introduce his daughter to his current piece of ass. It hurt but there was nothing she could do about it. The world knew he was fucking her, with that he obviously had no problem but he wouldn’t taint his innocent daughter with the knowledge of her.
“Taylor” he called out when she was about to open the front door.
She turned around slowly, steeling her features to look as nonchalant as she could get them. “Yeah?”
“What about the tape?” he asked studying her “we never discussed that.”
She just shrugged “I guess we just ignore it...let them spin it however they wanna spin it and eventually it’ll die down.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah” she said “not much else we can do..”
“I could always release a statement” he offered.
She smiled walking back over to him and grasped his face in her hands leaning forward to gently graze her lips against his, “Thank you, you have no idea how much it means to me that you offered but I think it’s better if we just leave it alone.”
“Why?”
“Better not to complicate the issue by making statements, fueling the fire..” she reasoned. She released his face and turned to go.
He grabbed her arm, stopping her, “I wanna see you again, Taylor.”
“You will” she promised.
“Maybe we could go on a date or something?”
“A date?” she laughed.
“Yeah, a date” he frowned “and stop laughing, there is nothing funny about me asking you on a date, dammit.”
“Marshall, date’s are public” she said “and what we have is private, I assumed you wanted to keep it that way..”
He just shrugged, “It’s not like the whole world doesn’t already know that I’m fucking you..”
That casual whatever attitude hurt her deeper than she wanted to face but she was bound and determined not to let it show, “I suppose you’re right...” she whispered pulling her arm free and walking out the front door with her head held high and her pride a fucking mess...
~CHAPTER 9~
WARNING: This is for Gem...this chapter includes some yummy sex and might very well make you want to go home and do unimaginable things to the nearest guy you can find...don't blame me...I just write the stuff...be warned, it's about to get hot up in here...
~*~
Taylor stood in front of the mirror surveying her state of *un*dress. Tonight was the night, their big date. When Marshall had suggested that they go on a date, she’d been skeptical to say the least. As it stood they were currently plastered every where from here to kingdom come, so she didn’t think it was the wisest choice to be seen out in public together. She couldn’t quite figure out his angle on this either and that bothered her. ‘Why does he want to go out in public together?’ her mind couldn’t settle on a suitable answer, it baffled her. Down in that fanciful part of her heart that she rarely visited she wanted to believe that it meant something but the practical, extremely cynical part of her heart knew better.
“You’re not really going out dressed like that, are you?” Morgan asked studying Taylor’s curvy frame from head to toe.
“Of course I am, why?”
“It’s just...ummm...well, ya know?”
“No, obviously I don’t” she teased.
“It’s like...barely there” Morgan pointed out running her finger along the hem of Taylor’s skirt that stopped mere inches below her ass.
“Yes, I know” she smiled devilishly.
“Are you trying to kill him?”
“Maybe, just a little” she laughed. She’d been feeling so emotionally battered lately that it felt good to just laugh, feel free.
“Well if that don’t do it, nothing will” Morgan assessed.
“Seriously Morgan, is it ok?”
“If you’re aiming for a good ‘fuck me into the first available surface’ at the end of the night” Morgan laughed “then I’d certainly say you’ll have no problem achieving that goal.”
“You think he’ll actually make it to the end of the night?” she laughed looking over at Morgan with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
“Oh, you are evil” Morgan teased “God, help him!!”
She wasn’t exactly playing fair. She knew that the package she was going to present him with tonight was going to drive him wild but she couldn’t help it. Her heart had been in such turmoil all week that she was feeling a bit reckless. She needed to get some of herself back. She needed to gain an edge of control in this fucked up thing they had and as sad as it sounded, she knew that her body would gain that edge she’d lost with him, back.
“Taylor..” Morgan said softly walking over to wrap her arms around Taylor.
“What is it?” she asked “you ok?”
“I’m fine” Morgan smiled releasing her and backing up too look at her “it’s you I’m worried about!!”
“Oh, I’m ok babe” she smiled “don’t worry about me!!”
“No, you’re not and I do worry about you Tay, always”
Taylor sighed and walked over to slump down on the edge of the bed, “I’m ok, I swear I am Morgan” she looked over at her, “I’ll admit my mind was a little fucked up for a couple days but I’m ok now, I promise.”
“Why are you letting him do this to you?”
“Love is blind, stupid, weak and totally self depreciating” she sighed.
“You really love him?”
“I do” she whispered “and it’s scary as hell!”
“How does he feel?” Morgan asked seriously “does he know how you really feel about him or does he still just assume you’re in this for a good fuck too?”
“Fucking” she shrugged “that’s all it’s about for him and he thinks that’s all it’s about for me!”
“And you’re ok with that?”
“I have to be, I have no choice” she whispered softly “it’s twisted Morgan but I can’t let him go, he makes me feel too much.”
“As strange as it sounds, I understand Tay, I do” Morgan laughed “just please, take care of yourself. Don’t let these feelings break you!”
“I won’t” she assured “I promise, I won’t”
~*~
Marshall was a tad nervous, he finished pulling his jeans up and buttoned them before reaching over and grabbing his shirt off the bed. He really wanted to go out with her in public and show the world that he didn’t care what they thought, fuck them but he had this strange feeling that it wasn’t quite fair to her. He wondered how she felt about being touted around, branded as Eminem’s latest ‘mistress’ ? If she was like most women then he knew that in some small way it probably bothered her but she never came out and said it. She was actually every man’s fantasy. One of the best fuck’s he’d ever had in his life and she never asked for anything in return, just the pleasure he gave her in bed, plain and simple. Maybe, it was cruel to want that or even expect that of her but that was what he wanted. Some ‘no strings, mind blowing’ sex with a woman who made him feel comfortable and didn’t ask for the world on a silver platter. He’d just gotten his shirt on and was checking his appearance in the mirror when his cell vibrated.
“Speak”
“Yo, Marsh” Proof laughed “you comin’ down to the club tonight?”
“Yep”
“Aiight” Proof chanted “there’s some fine bitches up in here tonight!!”
“Pity, I already got one”
“Oh, you bringin’ someone?”
“Yep, Taylor.”
“Taylor?” Proof asked wracking his brain.
“Yes, Taylor of the infamous video...”
“Oooooo damn”
“Hey, don’t be gettin’ any ideas, she’s mine!”
“Touchy, touchy” Proof tsk, tsked “do I sense more than meets the eye with this one?”
“Huh, what? NO” Marshall said putting that little notion to rest “all I’m saying is the pussy’s mine...hands off!”
“Aiight, aiight” Proof laughed “just get your ass down here”
They disconnected, Marshall grabbed his keys and headed for the door...
~*~
If he could have swallowed his tongue when she opened the door, he certainly would have..
“What the fuck are you wearing?” he asked skimming his eyes across her sinful form.
“What? You don’t like it?” she asked coyly.
“Well...I-I...just..yeah, yeah I do” he decided.
“Oh, good” she giggled with mock relief. ‘Piece of cake’ she smiled to herself. She could already see the drool pooling at the corners of his mouth.
“You ready?” he asked clearing his throat.
“Absolutely” she smiled sauntering towards the front door.
He chomped down on his tongue to stop the moan that was in serious danger of slipping past his lips. Just the sight of her ass swaying in that outfit was enough to make him cream his jeans and that outfit, oh God, that outfit. It should be fucking illegal to wear something like that out of the house. She was sure as shit going to stir up some kind of trouble in that damn thing. It was nothing more than a few pieces of material strategically placed to cover her important parts. The little halter thingy she had on covered her breasts and that’s about all he could say for it and the skirt, if that was even considered a skirt was a slash of material that started just above her pelvic line and landed inches below her ass. What really got him was the shoes...fuck, the shoes...he never in his life thought he’d find a pair of shoes so fucking sexy. They were high, dangerously high and open in all the right places to expose the right amount of flesh. He ground his teeth studying her feet, he would die a very happy man as long as he got the chance to have her feet grasp his hips wearing nothing but those damn shoes while he pounded into her.
“You coming?” she asked turning around at the door innocently watching him.
“Yeah” he said clearing his throat again “let’s go..”
~*~
The club was packed when Marshall and Taylor entered through a back entrance and were ushered up a flight of stairs to a private room overlooking the action down below. There was a scattering of people here and there and apparently Marshall knew most of these people because he waved at a few of them before grabbing her arm and leading her over to a group of guys sitting around a table on a couple of big fluffy couches.
“Yo” Proof jumped up “it’s about time you got your skinny ass down here.”
“Whatever bucktooth” he smirked while doing some crazy hand thing with the other guy.. “Proof..Taylor, Taylor...Proof”
Proof turned toward her and had basically the same reaction that Marshall did when he’d first seen her...
“Taylor..” he muttered his gaze traveling down and landing on her chest.
“Up here sweetie” she laughed. He jerked his head up and she smiled “nice to meet you Proof and I assume the rest of those guys over there are the remainder of the infamous D12?”
“Huh? Oh..yeah...sorry” he said looking sheepish.
“It’s all right” she winked “they are kinda nice, aren’t they?”
Marshall frowned raking his eyes back and forth between the two of them. He grabbed Taylor’s arm and when he was out of her eyesight he mouthed to Proof ‘MINE’ . He led her over to the table and after introductions and a serious round of ogling was finished he walked off to get her a drink. Keeping a serious eye glued on his friends...
~*~
Taylor certainly wasn’t a lush but she had to admit that she’d drank a lot more than she’d intended too. She was beginning to feel the potency of the alcohol make it’s way through her body. They’d been sitting there for the last couple hours just chatting about inconsequential stuff and she’d downed her fair share of drinks. She felt comfortable with him and his friends. Most of them had their eyes glued to her chest but that didn’t bother her, they were friendly and they made her feel like she belonged here, with them. Marshall had been eyeing her for quite some time and she knew what was going on his head. In his mind he already had her laid out and spread eagle. The picture that brought to her mind caused a tingle to zip through her body and settle uncomfortably between her thighs. She looked over at him and swallowed past the lump in her throat, if eyes could devour then she’d be mince meat.
“Taylor..”
“Yeah..” she whispered feeling the heat rush through her.
“Come here..”
She got up and walked over to stand in front of him. He reached out pulling her down onto his lap so that she straddled his hips. It was as if the whole room knew what he wanted and decided to let him have his way. The small crowd of people dispersed, slowly trickling out one by one until there was no one left but Proof.
“Don’t let anyone up here” he said looking up at his friend.
“Aight” Proof said turning to head towards the stairs, grabbing the bartender on the way out.
“I want to fuck you Taylor, here, now” he whispered leaning forward to ground his lips against hers, “you got a problem with that?”
“Uh uh” she moaned against his lips.
He brought his hands up to grasp her breasts in the palm of his hands and her body quivered.
“Marshall” she said thickly.
She was aching to feel his throbbing cock slide up inside of her. To feel the smoothness of his flesh snuggled comfortably within her silky walls. She reached down unbuttoning his pants, freeing his hardness.
“God, you are so fucking gorgeous” she whispered staring down at the rigid muscle between them.
She slid off his lap, landing on her knees so she was facing his cock and leaned forward taking him fully into her mouth.
“Oh Jesus...Taylor..” he moaned.
She was sliding his cock smoothly in and out of her mouth between her slightly parted lips. Applying enough pressure to have his eyes rolling back in his head.
“Oh fuck Taylor..Please...STOP” he panted “please baby, I’m gonna cum”
She moaned her breath fluttering against his cock, “I wanna taste you, Marshall...wanna taste you in my mouth,”
“Oh God..” he groaned seconds before he exploded, jerking wildly in her mouth.
She lapped at his cock, licking him from base to tip, taking in every last drop of cum he spewed.
He was still hard and jerking in her mouth when she felt him pull her up his body, and settle her over his half sated cock. He brushed her panties aside and jerked his hips up shoving the tip of his hardness into the heated flesh of her pussy. She moaned dropping down to take him the rest of the way in.
“Oh fuck baby” she panted “you feel so good inside me, so good..”
She began to pump thrusting down while he thrust up into her, their pelvises slamming together, grinding into each other. The sensation was too much to handle and her body bucked and shuttered as the waves of her orgasm crashed through her. Her walls gripped him so tight he had no power to stop it, he came again, her satiny walls milking him fully.
They sat there like that for an excruciatingly long time before he whispered, “Come home with me?”
~CHAPTER 10~
WARNING: MORE SEX...WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?? HE ASKED HER TO COME HOME WITH HIM!!!!! IT'S NOT AS YUMMY AS THE LAST CHAPTER BUT IT'S NICE...ENJOY!!
~*~
Taylor’s mind was not functioning properly, it was all foggy. She was trapped in that sexual haze that overtakes you right after having some really deep sex. So she didn’t have the mental capacity to process and evaluate his question properly. Had she been in her right mind her answer would have been a definite, absolute and completely positive NO but instead of that hard stance she should be taking, she was being led outside towards his SUV like a lamb being led to slaughter. She was allowing him to use her for sex, that was all fine and good but going to his house was another matter all together. She had pride, an awful lot of it and she didn’t want to be snuck into his house like some dirty little secret he had to hide. All this heavy shit was slowly breaking through her sexual haze.
“I don’t think this is a good idea” she said coming to a halt and looking over at him.
“I want you” he stated simply.
“You just had me” she retorted.
“I want you again” he reiterated.
“Marshall” she sighed “look at me..”
He brought his eyes up to meet hers and his stomach flip flopped. She certainly packed a powerful punch, “What’s the problem Taylor?”
“It’s just that I..we...” she trailed off.
“I can’t read your mind baby...” he pressed.
“I don’t wanna go to your house, that’s all.” she stated firmly.
“What’s your hang up with my house?” he asked trying to read her face “I figured after the other day, you’d be comfortable there.”
“I am but, I dunno,” she shrugged “it just doesn’t feel right.”
“No one’s there Taylor” he said simply “if that’s what’s bothering you.”
“That’s not it really...it’s just that..” she stumbled around “your house is your personal space and what we have is...well, it’s casual Marshall...it just doesn’t seem right doing it there.”
“Taylor, I’m fucking you” he stated simply “it doesn’t get any more personal than that.” She opened her mouth to say something but he silenced her, “Look, I’ve had you in my personal space already and I want you there again, plain and simple.”
She wanted to argue with him, she should definitely argue with him. He only wanted her there, at his house because they would be alone but instead of the argument her mind was telling her she needed to have with him, her heart had her nodding her head in acceptance. He leaned forward and kissed her softly before grabbing her hand, entwining his fingers through hers and starting off towards the car again.
~*~
She was nervous and it irked her. She felt like some fucking school girl going on her first date. They stood there in his room facing each other like a couple of boxers squaring off before a match. He took a step forward, she took a step back. They were ensconced in some crazy dance.
“You’re not going shy on me now, are you Taylor?”
“What? NO!” she tossed out, his comment pulling her out of her thoughts.
“Then why are you backing away from me?” he smirked.
“You want what I got,” she teased “then you gotta work for it.”
“Is that so?” he asked arching an eyebrow at her.
“Yep”
He reached for her but she evaded, darting to the left. They practically circled his bed. Every time he got her within reaching distance she would evade him again. She was giggling, sticking her tongue out at him when he finally managed to get a hold of her..
“Gotcha” he said triumphantly hauling her up and tossing her over his shoulder.
He marched over to the foot of the bed and tossed her down in the middle.
“Hey” she complained
“Hey nothing” he laughed climbing up on the bed to hover over her.
“You’re gonna pay for that” she teased pushing against his chest and flipping him over so that she was now on top.
“Oh you like to play dirty?” he asked grabbing her wrists loosely in the palms of his hands.
“There’s no other way” she smirked struggling to free her wrists.
They wrestled around, rolling from one side of the bed to the other working up a pretty good sweat. They were having fun with each other, playing around, teasing each other and it had her heart drumming wildly in her chest. They somehow ended up on their knees facing each other with their bodies pressed intimately together and that’s when things took a turn.
“God, Taylor” he whispered swiping his eyes down her body “do you know what you do to me?” he reached out trailing his pointer finger along her jaw line and swiped it back up to trail across her lips, “Taylor..”
Her breathing became heavy, uneven and her eyes fluttered closed, “Don’t please...”
“Don’t what?” he whispered “tell you how fucking beautiful you are? How good your skin feels underneath my fingers? How sweet you taste is in my mouth?”
“Mar...” her words were swallowed when he imprisoned her lips in a kiss so gentle she felt tears mist her eyes.
‘Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry’ she chanted over and over again in her head. He was manipulating her mind, playing with her emotions and it was effectively tearing her heart to shreds but she wouldn’t cry, she couldn’t because then he’d know that this meant far more to her than just a casual fuck.
He felt her tense for the briefest of moments and then it passed. Her hands ran up his hips reaching around to fumble with the button of his jeans. Her fingers were shaking badly and he reached down to grab her hands in his own, stilling them.
“You ok baby?”
“Yeah” she whimpered still fighting the urge to blubber like a fucking baby “I just want you, fuck Marshall I want you so bad..”
She managed to get his button undone and yanked his zipper done before struggling to push his jeans down over his hips. She was having trouble getting them off so she dipped her hand into his pants grasping his throbbing erection in her palm and began stroking him.
“Slow down baby” he whispered stilling her hand and nipping her bottom lip with his teeth, “I’m not going anywhere, I wanna go slow..”
She whimpered against his mouth, “I need you..”
“Shhhhh”
He ran his hands up brushing the sides of her breasts while he pulled up the tiny top she was wearing and tossed it aside. He bent his head down slowing tugging one of her straining nipples into his mouth, rolling the other one between his fingers. Her whole body shook and a burning sensation started low in her belly, traveling up through her limbs, completely seizing her senses.
“Oh God..please..”
His warm, wicked mouth released it’s hold on her nipple and his hands fluttered down her sides, his fingers dipping into the waistband of her skirt dragging it down over her luscious hips, her panties quickly followed the same path. She shimmied her skirt and panties the rest of the way down her calves and kicked them aside. She was void of all clothes, except those sinfully sexy shoes. She started to kick those off too..
“Stop” he moaned “please, leave them”
She just nodded her head. He could have asked her to have sex swinging from the ceiling fan wearing nothing but a set of pasties and she’d simply nod her head. He gently pushed her onto her back, backing up a bit to lift his shirt over his head and push his pants the rest of the way down before crawling back to settle himself between her parted thighs. He nudged her entrance with the tip of his cock, teasing her and she moaned.
“Please..” she pleaded. Her voice was whisper soft. The passion had taken over.
He thrust forward entering her agonizingly slow, pushing into her fiery depths, inch by torturous inch until he was steeped completely in her heat.
“Oh fuck Taylor” he ground out through clenched teeth “you have no idea how good you feel wrapped around me..”
He pulled his hips back and pushed forward again, dipping back into her soft, silky flesh. She surrounded him fully, hugging him within her body and it was intense. He wanted to go slow with her, make love to her, he had no idea why? His mind was skipping over those pesky details. All he knew was that he had the desire to take her slow and gentle and he did, oh God he did. He moved in and out of her softly until they both couldn’t hold back anymore and spiraled wildly into places neither of them had ever been before....
~*~
She’d crept out of Marshall’s bed that morning before he’d woken up. She’d had to get the fuck out of there. This whole new gentle side he was showing her was seriously fucking with her mind. She could take it when he rough, wild, even brutal but this gentleness was going to be her downfall. What she was feeling for him was too intense and it was getting harder and harder to mask but she knew without a doubt that if she let the mask fall he’d run for the fucking hills.
“Taylor” Morgan nudged her.
“What?”
“The judge is calling the jury back in..”
“What? Oh” she muttered looking up at the sea of strangers filing back into those hard wooden seats. She’d been so lost in thought she’d almost forgotten where she was.
She sat mute and unmoved through the whole reading of the verdict. She seriously would rather be anywhere else but where she was right now. After the verdict had been read, her client jumped up, turned to her, pulled her into his embrace and began patting her on the back in some macho show of appreciation. She simply rolled her eyes and patted him back.
She was in a sour mood, really, really sour. She’d won another case and while she should be excited she just couldn’t work up the spunk to give a fuck. ‘Whoop-de-fucking-doo’ she thought miserably ‘Score another one for the guilty as fuck, I should have my ass locked up team’ She really needed to go into another line of work.
“You seem a bit ahhh moody today” Morgan assessed as they slowly walked through the dreary halls of the courthouse.
“Hmmm, you don’t say?” she said sarcastically.
“So tell me, what’s got your panties in a bind Tay?” Morgan asked.
“He made love to me” she sighed.
“Uh huh and don’t you two do that every time you’re in the same room?”
“No, he fucks me” she said flatly “last night he made love to me.”
“Oh” was Morgan’s very eloquent and well thought out response.
“Yeah, Oh..” she laughed looking over at Morgan.
“So what’s that mean?”
“I have no fucking clue” she shrugged “nothing, I suppose.”
“So he didn’t say anything this morning?”
“I dunno?” she said “I bolted like the coward I am.”
“What the fuck for?”
“Because I couldn’t face him this morning” she said honestly dropping her head to peer down at the floor “it’s hard enough to look him in the eyes after he fucks me, there was no way in hell I could have looked him in the eyes after he was so fucking gentle with me.”
“You know you can’t keep going like this” Morgan said seriously “it’s gonna fuck you up inside..”
She lifted her head to turn towards Morgan and locked eyes with Marshall’s ex.. ‘Great, this is just fucking great’ she sighed when Kim broke away from her attorney and cut a path across the courthouse heading in her direction...
~CHAPTER 11~
NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO JAE...THANK YOU SWEETHEART!!!
~*~
Marshall stretched lazily reaching across the bed for a woman who ironically wasn’t there anymore. ‘What the fuck?’ he mumbled sitting up ramrod straight in his big lonely bed. He slammed his eyes shut tightly and then opened them slightly in an attempt to clear his foggy vision. He looked to his right, still empty. He grumbled some colorful expletives as he got out of bed and hobbled toward the bathroom to do his business. ‘Where the hell is she?’ he wracked his brain while he idly ran his toothbrush over his pearly whites. ‘The kitchen, maybe?’ he hoped rinsing out his mouth and striding back into his room naked as the day he was born. He picked up his discarded boxers from the pile of clothing on the floor and slipped them on, ‘Maybe I can coerce her into taking a shower with me?’ he smiled playing the scene out in his head. He took off down the stairs, wove his way through the maze of a hallway that lead to his destination and strutted into the kitchen...
“Taylor...”
It was empty....he frowned looking around, ‘What the fuck???’ he mumbled again for the second time since he’d opened his eyes that morning. She wasn’t in the kitchen and he knew for damn sure that she wasn’t in his bedroom so where the fuck was she?? He poked around the first floor seeing if maybe she’d gone exploring but nope she definitely wasn’t there so he turned on his heel stomping back up the stairs like an angry little boy who’d misplaced his favorite toy. He threw open the door to his bedroom and began poking around trying to find something that would tell him where the hell she was. After a few minutes he flung himself back on his bed, ‘Nothing’ he said to the empty room ‘She left absolutely fucking nothing!!’ He was pissed. Why the fuck would she just take off like that without saying anything to him or at least leaving a fucking note. He cringed as he remembered the countless times he’d left her sleeping without a word or a letter. ‘Ok, so turn about’s fair play’ he mumbled grabbing her pillow and hugging it to his chest. Her scent cascaded up and smacked him dead in the face, it was sensually soft like the hint of sunflowers on a hot summer day. ‘Fuck’ he groaned shoving her pillow away. He didn’t want to think about this shit. He didn’t want to sit here overanalyzing how amazing she smelled or how soft her skin was when it slid against his or how sweet her lips tasted when they were melded to his, ‘Get a grip Marshall’ he berated him self sitting up again and hopping off the bed. What he really needed was a shower, some scalding water to beat all these romantically infused thoughts that were running through his head. What they had wasn’t romance, it was far simpler than that, it was sex!!! That’s it, just sex!!
~*~
“Oh Jesus” she mumbled breaking away from Kim’s intense stare “find me a big, fat fucking wall to hide behind.”
“Huh?” Morgan asked not following Taylor’s comment.
“Straight ahead, heading my way” she sighed.
“Oh” Morgan said catching site of the woman aiming for them.
“Is that the only come back you can come up with today?” she said shaking her head.
If she could have dissolved into the floor at that moment, then she sure as fuck would have but unfortunately that wasn’t an option.
“Hey” Kim said stopping in front of them.
Taylor and Morgan came to halt. Morgan glanced back and forth between the two women facing each other and winced.
“Ummm” Morgan said breaking the momentary silence that had come over them, “I’m gonna head back to the office Tay, if you need me just give me a call.”
“K, thanks Morgan”
“No problem” Morgan said bending forward to whisper in Taylor’s ear, “you gonna be all right?”
“Yeah” she said placing a hand on Morgan’s arm in an affectionate gesture, “thanks.”
“Anytime”
They watched Morgan exit the courthouse before turning their eyes back on each other. They stood there silent, just studying each other until Taylor couldn’t take it anymore...
“Is there something I can do for you?” she asked in her most official tone.
“No, not really..I..”
“Yes or No?”
“I’m just curious” Kim said looking her over, “are you the chick who’s tits are plastered all over the news.”
“Nice” Taylor laughed, “very subtle...”
“I’m sorry” Kim shrugged “I didn’t mean to sound rude, I just didn’t know how else to put it!”
“Why don’t you try asking what you really wanna know and stop beating around the bush” she prodded.
“You’re blunt” Kim smiled “I like that.”
“Thanks, I guess” she said cracking a small smile.
“Ok, so I’ll rephrase” Kim smirked “are you the chick who’s currently fucking Eminem?”
“Eminem?” she squinted like she was giving it some thought, “I don’t know anything about some guy named Eminem but if you’re asking about Marshall, then yes I’d be the one who is currently fucking him”
“Point taken” Kim shrugged “I’m just so used to all the groupies, they don’t typically give a fuck about Marshall, they’re only interested in screwing Eminem.”
Taylor simply nodded her head, waiting for Kim to continue. She could tell that she had something to say but couldn’t quite figure out how to say it...
“Just say what’s on your mind, that’s usually the best approach” she said. Her cell rang and she grabbed it out of her purse and flipped it open without looking at the caller ID “excuse me a second” she said to Kim.
Taylor: Hello
Marshall: Hey, where the fuck are you?
Taylor: Working, I have a job you know..a real live job, fathom that.
Marshall: Ha, ha smart ass...why’d you leave without saying goodbye?
Taylor: I dunno, you were sleepin’....
Marshall: Yeah, but you coulda woke me up!
Taylor: Awww but you looked so damn cute just lying there snoring and shit...
Marshall: I do NOT snore..
Taylor: Ummmm YES you DO!!!
Marshall: Uh uh...
Taylor: Uh huh...
Marshall: Nope!!! You done workin’ baby?
Taylor: Almost, why?
Marshall: I wanna see you..
Taylor: You saw me last night..
Marshall: I wanna see you again..
Taylor <sighs> All right but I can’t really talk right now, I’m in the middle of something..
Marshall: Call me when you’re done?
Taylor: Yeah..
Marshall: Aight, talk to ya later..
Taylor: Yep
Marshall: Bye..
Taylor: Bye
She flipped her phone back down and looked up at Kim, “I’m sorry about that, I...”
“It was him, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was”
“Wow, ok..” Kim said shaky “when I saw you, I thought I was prepared to handle this but that hurt..”
“I’m sorry” she said not knowing what else to say. For all Kim’s faults, her and Marshall shared a love that until recently couldn’t be penetrated by anyone or anything. They shared a vast history together, one that included an innocent child.
“Don’t apologize” Kim sighed “you’ve got nothing to apologize for, it just took me off guard that’s all”
“I understand”
“He does snore” Kim said softly, “but he’ll never admit it.”
“Don’t do this to yourself” she said reaching out and placing a comforting hand on Kim’s shoulder.
“No, I’m fine really” she said taking a deep breath and looking up to meet Taylor’s eyes, “do you love him?”
“Whoa” she said, “well now you’ve caught me off guard..”
“I’m sorry” Kim smirked “you said to say exactly what’s on my mind”
“Yeah, I did but...”
“Look, you know what’s going on with me, right?”
“Of course” she eyed her “it’s public knowledge”
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me” Kim said honestly “but whatever it is I have a feeling that I’m not gonna to be around much longer..”
“Kim?” she asked concern lacing her voice.
“Oh NO, not that” Kim assured her “I’m far too selfish to kill myself.”
“Whoo, ok”
“I can see why he cares about you”
Taylor laughed, “I think you’re misunderstanding our acquaintance, it’s not like that, we fuck Kim, that’s all.”
“Do you honestly believe that?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” she said seriously “that’s what it is..”
“Taylor, right?” Taylor nodded and Kim continued, “Taylor, Marshall doesn’t spend the night with girls he just fucks, he doesn’t call them on the phone and have silly conversations with them and he certainly doesn’t take them out in public for the whole world to see.”
“How did...”
“I guess you haven’t seen this mornings paper?” Kim smiled, “nice outfit, by the way.”
“Thanks”
“Look what I’m trying to say is...” Kim took a deep breath, “sorry this is hard for me but I gotta get it out. I’ve been studying you and..”
“Excuse me?” she quirked and eyebrow at her, “studying me?”
“Yeah” Kim shrugged, “what did you expect? You’re in a relationship with the only man I’ve ever loved.”
“We are not in a relationship”
“Keep telling yourself that” Kim smirked, “but what I’m trying to say is. I’m gonna go to jail Taylor, I know that, you know that and I’m not gonna be around to make sure Marsh is ok and I...it’s killing me but he needs someone Taylor. He needs someone that’ll be true to him, he needs someone that’ll love him, really love him.”
“And you expect that someone to be me?”
“Do you love him?”
“Ahhhh we’re back to that?”
“You never answered!”
“Kim, I can’t be what you want me to be” she said, “even if I wanted to, what makes you think he’ll let me?”
“Because he cares about you” Kim said honestly “he probably loves you, he’s just too stubborn to admit it!”
“No, you’ve got this all wrong!”
“Do I?” Kim asked, “so you don’t love him.”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just...”
“So, you do love him?”
“Fuck, you are twisting my words all over the place” she shook her head, “Kim, I can’t do this, not what you’re asking me to do!”
“So you’re just like the rest of them?” Kim shook her head, “you’re not the woman I thought you were then!”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” she said getting fired up, “you don’t fucking know me! You don’t know the way I feel and don’t fucking assume that you do!!”
Kim felt the tap on her shoulder and turned to face her lawyer. He bent to whisper something in her ear and she nodded before turning back to Taylor..
“Look I gotta go” she smiled, “time to face the music.” she studied Taylor for a minute before confidently saying, “you are the woman I think you are, I know it in my heart” she pounded her chest, “take care of him Taylor, take care of Marshall.” and with that parting remark she was gone...
Taylor stood there for an eternity trying desperately to process the strange and intensely personal conversation she’d just had with the Kim, the woman who had spent half her life with the man that Taylor loved...
~CHAPTER 12~
DEDICATION: Ok, so I'm going to tell you all about this chapter...I wrote over half of it last night and then I just stopped...I reread it over and over and sat there frowning 'No, no, no...this was NOT the way you wanted to go Aimee!! You're fucking up the direction of your own fic!!' So I decided to scrap it and today I started rewriting this chapter in a completely different angle but for some reason I kept coming back to this one (the original one I wrote), it was driving me crazy so I decided before I tossed it for the new one, maybe I should get someone's opinion?? So I sent it to Thaly-Ann and she convinced me that it was great and even though I went slightly off track I could still turn it back around in the direction that I originally wanted it to go...So thank you Thaly-Ann for your honest opinion and for helping me get over some small hurdles that I was having trouble jumping!! This chapter is for you...
~*~
Taylor wandered around aimlessly. She didn't know where she was going? Or more importantly what the fuck she was doing? Kim's words kept playing back in her head like they were stuck on some freaky kind of rewind... ‘I'm gonna go to jail Taylor, I know that, you know that and I'm not gonna be around to make sure Marsh is ok and I...it's killing me but he needs someone Taylor. He needs someone that'll be true to him, he needs someone that'll love him, really love him.' How the fuck was she supposed to do that?? It wasn't her responsibility to take care of him!! Shit, he didn't want her to take care of him. He wanted her body not her mind and certainly not her love. She felt like her head was spinning. She'd somehow ended up in the park and she looked around at all the children playing, running around so free not a care in the world. ‘God, this is such a mess' she whispered, her words floating through the air, ‘How the hell does she expect me to do what she wants me to do? I can't make him feel things that he doesn't' She walked over, slumped down on a lonely bench and continued watching the kids play. Her life had gone from perfectly symmetrical to being completely knocked off it's axis. How the hell had she let that happen? She heard the insistent ringing of her cell phone and yanked it out of her purse...
Taylor: WHAT
Marshall: Taylor?
Taylor: Hey, I'm sorry...
Marshall: You, ok?
Taylor: Yes, no...I dunno?
Marshall: What's goin' on?
Taylor: Nothin'..don't worry about it, ok?
Marshall: Why? You sound upset..
Taylor: I'm fine really..I just had a rough day..
Marshall: You can talk to me baby..
Taylor: No Marshall, I can't..
Marshall: Yes, you CAN!!! Please just come over, we'll talk..
Taylor: I...I can't, I'm sorry..
Marshall: Why? What happened Taylor? Talk to me..
Taylor: I ran into someone a little while ago and it was just awkward and sad and I just...I don't know what I'm doing Marshall, I just...
Marshall: What? Who upset you, baby?
Taylor: <whispers> Kim..
Marshall: You saw Kim?
Taylor: <shakily mumbles> Yeah..
Marshall: Where are you Taylor?
Taylor: The park..
Marshall: The park? Which one?
Taylor: By the courthouse..
Marshall: Don't move, I'll be right there!!
She opened her mouth to speak, she didn't want him coming here but he'd already hung up...
~*~
She saw him walking up the sidewalk and took a deep breath to try and control the fluttering in her stomach. She didn't want him here, not now when she was so emotionally raw. She felt him sit down next to her and she turned her head to avoid looking at him.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, you shouldn't be here ya know?" she mumbled, "someone might recognize you.."
"I don't care...Taylor, look at me.."
"No"
"Dammit Taylor" he said angrily grabbing her chin and forcing her eyes to meet his. He saw the pain swimming in them and it hurt him, "what did she do to you?"
"She didn't do anything" she whispered, "nothing but God, she still loves you"
"I know..."
"I..I don't understand?"
He shrugged, "It's complicated Taylor, her and I, we're just complicated"
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing could get past the lump in her throat. She turned her head away again but he still had a hold of her chin and forced her eyes back to his...
"I'm not going to try and explain our relationship Taylor" he said gently, "it's too twisted and..."
She managed to find her voice, "Do you still love her?" she asked cutting him off.
"I..." he whispered dropping his eyes from hers.
But it was too late, she'd already seen it. It felt like a sucker punch, a vicious jab to the gut.
"I've gotta go" she said pulling away from him and standing up.
"Taylor.." he said grabbing her arm.
"No, don't...please" she whispered pulling her arm free, "I can't do this Marshall, I was stupid to think that I could. I..I don't...I just...Fuck, I gotta go.."
"Wait...please.."
"No, I can't do this anymore, it hurts" she whimpered, "and God, I have too much respect for myself to let you do this to me, dammit."
He grabbed her by the waist as she was walking away and pulled her back against the warmth of his body, "Please don't walk away from me"
"I have to" she whispered tears choking her voice, "God, please if you feel anything for me at all just let me go."
His fingers flexed on her waist a few times and then went lax slipping from her waist to land at his sides. She took off at a run and he watched her, his heart aching until she disappeared from sight...
~*~
Marshall pulled up in front of Kim's house and parked the car. It was so odd thinking of this as her house. For so long they had done everything together and now they were like strangers, miles apart. He opened the car door and walked toward the house. He saw her before he made it all the way up the walkway. She was sitting on the steps, her shadow silhouetted by the dim glow coming from the porch light.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked looking up at him.
"If I said I was just in the neighborhood, would you buy it?" he smirked.
"No" she laughed, "she told you what I said, didn't she?"
"No, not really"
"Oh" she said surprised.
"But I need to know"
"Why?"
"Because she ran" he said looking at her, "and it hurts.."
"You love her, don't you?"
"No...I dunno" he said sitting down next to her, "I don't know what I feel. I care about her but..."
"Have you told her that?"
"No.."
"Maybe you should start there.." she smiled.
"What did you say to her?"
“What I said to her isn’t important Marshall” she said looking over at him, “nothing I said would make her run from you, so the important question here is, what did you say to her?”
“I think it’s more or less what I didn’t say..”
“I can’t understand you when you speak in code” she smiled, “what didn’t you say?”
“She asked me if I was still in love with you..”
“Please tell me you didn’t say yes Marshall” she said turning to fully face him, “No woman, no matter what your relationship is with her wants to hear you say that you love another woman!”
“No” he shrugged, “that’s just it, I didn’t say anything. She wouldn’t let me.”
“That doesn’t make any sense..”
“I dunno what happened Kim?” he sighed.
“You just let her run away?” she asked puzzled, “why didn’t you stop her.”
“I tried but...” he trailed off.
“But what?”
“But she pulled out the guilt card” he shook his head.
“Guilt card?”
“She said and I quote ‘please if you feel anything for me at all just let me go’ So what the hell was I supposed to do?”
“Let her go..” she whispered, “because you do feel something for her, maybe you should try and figure out exactly what that is..”
“Of course I do, I care about her, I won’t deny that Kim. We’ve been having sex for a while now, I’d be a fucking monster not to care about her in some way but beyond that, I just don’t know!”
“Talk to her Marshall” she said grabbing his chin and forcing his eyes to her, “answer her question. Make her understand that what we had is long over”
“Kim...” he whispered taking her in, “you know that somewhere inside I’ll always love you, right? Shit, you’re all I’ve ever known but that love it’s just..it’s not the same anymore...”
“I know Marshall...” she whispered caressing his face, “I know...”
“Are you gonna be ok?”
“Yeah, I’ll be aight..” she smiled.
“What are you gonna do about all this shit goin’ on with you?”
“Oh God Marshall..” she said meeting his eyes again, “you know I have to go...”
“Kim..”
“Please understand” she pleaded, “I can’t go to jail, I’d never make it in there...”
“Where are you gonna go?”
“I dunno?” she shrugged.
“God, promise me you’ll take care of yourself?”
“Yeah I will, but you have to promise me that you’ll care of you and Hai..” she whispered, “God, please take care of Hailie, Marshall!! She isn’t going to understand any of this.”
“I will, always!! You know that!!!”
“Yeah, I do..” she smiled.
They sat there in tense silence for a few minutes. Neither one of them really knew what to say. They’d both made so many mistakes when it came to their lives and each other. That’s where they’d fucked up the most, no matter how strong their love had been they always somehow ended up hurting each other...
“I better go” he said standing up and turning around to face her.
“Yeah” she smiled shakily, “I’ll miss you..”
“I’ll miss you too” he said on an uneven breath, “always..”
He turned to walk away but the sound of her voice stopped him, he turned back toward her...
“I’m sorry...” she whispered.
“Me too” he said closing his eyes tight, “me too...”
He started to walk away from her but he couldn’t go, not like that. He turned around walking back, she’d gotten to her feet and he stopped in front of her. He brought his hands up framing her face and leaned forward pressing his lips softly against hers...
“Goodbye” he whispered before backing up and walking away.
~*~
Marshall had been unable to reach Taylor for days and it was driving him crazy, he missed her. Whatever they’d had between them was over, he knew that but it was such a weird feeling, this sadness that had settled in and made itself comfy. He was busy trying to convince himself that this was all for the best when pulled up in his driveway and his chest tightened, there she was, as glorious as ever leaning against her car. He put the car in park and got out walking toward her..
“I know I shouldn’t have come here I just...”
Whatever else she was about to say was lost as his lips imprisoned hers in a kiss so powerful it nearly brought her to her knees. He grasped her hips, lifting her up and she wrapped herself around him. No words were spoken, none were needed, his actions were showing her what his mouth did not say, he missed her. He carried her through the front door and headed for his bedroom. Their lips were still fused together, their tongues entwined, sliding passionately against each other. He entered his bedroom and kicked his door closed walking across the room with her still wrapped around him and laid her down gently across the satiny sheets covering his bed. He backed away from her sliding her skirt and panties down her shapely legs, his hands moved on to her blouse, slowly releasing the tiny buttons one by one, slipping it off her shoulders before removing her bra. His touch was tender as if he felt she was delicate, like the bud of a rose. Her mind was spinning as she watched him back away from her and slowly lift his shirt up and pull it over his head before moving his hands down to strip himself of his pants. Her mind was having trouble keeping up with what was going on around her so it startled her when she felt his skin scorch hers as his body moved over hers intimately. There were still no words, only the choppy sound of their breath meshing together as he slid his hardness into her warm, agile body. They moved together, flesh against flesh, their slick bodies sliding together in a romantic dance. Their breath speeding up as they neared the precipice, that fine line between sanity and insanity and moaned in unison as together they crossed it...
~CHAPTER 13~
Marshall and Taylor were back to normal, kind of.. Basically everything was back on an even keel. He’d never mentioned that moment in the park when, for the briefest of moments she’d let her mask slip and while things were the same between them, they were in some weird way different. The words love or commitment had never been spoken but their association had taken somewhat of a twisted turn, it had become more personal. When they had sex it was still rough and wild but yet it was soft and gentle at the same time. It was giving her a major migraine trying to keep up with all the different dimensions of this utterly fascinating, extremely frustrating man. While they had gotten more personal they had ultimately, much to her dismay gotten more public too. He insisted on taking her out to places and events that she felt she had no place being, introducing her to people she felt she shouldn’t be introduced to, it was quite disconcerting. She honestly didn’t think that she would ever fully figure out the man. The thing that made her feel really awkward was going out with him in public trying to ignore all the whispers and stares that came their way because the whole world knew that his ex-wife was on the lam and there he was out in the open with her instead of sitting at home brooding over Kim’s disappearance. Kim in the height of her legal troubles had taken off for parts unknown and from a lawyers perspective Taylor felt sorry for her because she knew full well the hole that Kim had dug for herself by taking off but from a woman’s perspective she understood perfectly why she’d done it. Taylor had braced herself for it but Marshall had never mentioned Kim’s disappearance or how he felt about it and as selfish as it sounded she was relieved because honestly, she didn’t want to hear it. She finished applying a light layer of lip gloss and stepped back to take a look at herself, ‘Not bad’ she thought turning to take a peek at the side view. Her thick mane of curls was pulled back in a loose pony tail and a light touch of make-up adorned her face. She had on a pair of loose fitting jeans, a white baby tee with a baby blue zip up jacket over it, her feet were nice and comfy in a pair of white Nike’s. She had no idea where he was taking her today. He was being very secretive about this whole casual date they were going on and it made her nervous as hell. When Marshall kept hushed about something it usually meant that Taylor wasn’t going to like it. She heard the doorbell ring and took a deep breath to steady her nerves, her time for fretting was over. She pulled open the front door with a warm smile playing across her lips and froze.
“Hey” he said watching her facial features go from warm and open to nervous and confused in torturously slow degrees, “can we come in?”
“Huh..” she mumbled. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the child standing next to him. It was amazing how much she looked like him, yet she didn’t. There was so much of Kim thrown in there too, “Oh, yeah...sorry.”
“No problem” he said walking past her, his little girl clutching his hand as if her life depended on it.
She stood watching him stroll through the foyer and head for the living room. She wanted to move, to follow him into the living room but her feet felt like lead and her mind was trying to absorb what had just happened, ‘He brought his daughter here, to my house?’ She was trying really hard but she couldn’t get her mind to wrap around that very enormous fact. ‘What the hell is he doing?’ she thought ‘and why didn’t he tell me that he was bringing her here?’ It was all so confusing. ‘Did he think that if he told me, I wouldn’t want to meet her? Was he afraid that maybe I’d refuse to meet her?’
“You comin’?” he asked turning around to study her.
“What?” she said snapping out of her thoughts, “Oh, yeah I’m coming.”
She put one foot gingerly in front of the other and begged her brain to send the proper responses to her stubborn legs. She would absolutely hate to fall flat on her face the first time she met his daughter. She entered the living room seconds after they did and didn’t quite know what to do with herself so she just stood there fidgeting with the zipper on her jacket. She jumped at least a full five feet when she felt his hands on her hips pulling her close to him..
He bent to whisper in her ear, “You, ok? There’s no need to be nervous, she won’t bite you baby, I promise..”
“I..I just..I wasn’t expecting her, that’s all” she whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Would you rather we left?” he asked softly.
He held his breath waiting for her answer, it would kill him if she dismissed something so precious to him. He had taken a big chance bringing his daughter here and he didn’t fully understand why he wanted her to meet Hailie but he did.
“What? NO!!! God” she said bringing her eyes up to his, “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”
He released the breath he’d been holding and his heart did some crazy thing that he wasn’t even going to try and figure out, “Thank you” he whispered brushing his lips against hers softly and turned back toward Hailie, “come here Hai..”
Taylor watched his daughter get up and shuffle across the room and her heart melted. Haile was just as scared as she was. ‘I’m glad I’m not alone in this’ she inwardly smiled. She loved kids, she always had, ‘Who doesn’t’ she thought watching Hailie move up to stand next to her daddy. They were so sweet and innocent. They brought out the best in even the hardest of people. They made the old feel young, the weak feel strong. They were the foundation of so many happy lives. She knew for a fact that if it weren’t for Hailie, Marshall would certainly not be the man that he was today. Every accomplishment he’d made, every stepping stone he’d conquered, every bit of blood, sweat and tears he’d leaked were for her. She, in a sense, was what made him.
“Hailie” Marshall whispered kneeling down so that he was at her level, “this is daddy’s friend Taylor...”
Hailie looked up at her through innocent eyes that shone brilliantly with the same vital life as her father’s and smiled, “Hi”
“Hi” she said working past the constriction in her heart, “it’s nice to meet you.”
“You too” Hailie said studying her.
Taylor’s nerves came crashing back as she stood there knowing to the core that she was being intently studied and dissected.
“Hai” he said breaking the momentary silence that had settled over the room, “you wanna tell Taylor what we’re gonna do today?”
Hailie turned back towards Taylor, “Daddy wants to take us to the studio, he’s gotta work” Hailie smiled, “you wanna go?”
“I’d love to” she smiled genuinely, “absolutely!”
“Aiight then, LADIES” he drawled holding out a hand each for both of them.
Hailie took the right and Taylor took the left. Marshall grasped both of their hands tight and lead them through the house. The three of them piled into his car and headed off to the studio..
~*~
They’d been at the studio for a while now and Taylor was having a blast. Hailie had eventually opened up and it made Taylor feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She was an exceptionally bright child, so full of life and love. It was absolutely heart wrenching the way that she watched her father with such adoration. When they’d first gotten there Marshall had given them the grand tour, letting them fiddle around with the equipment while he feigned pain every time they touched one of the buttons and it emitted some kind of crazy sound. After that they’d moved on to coloring together while Marshall mixed some beats and horsed around with his boys. They went from coloring to cartoons and Taylor discovered that she’d been essentially living under a rock, she never knew that Sponge Bob was so damn funny. The cartoons wound down and Hailie was hungry so her and Taylor went off in search of food. There wasn’t much food to be found so they pestered Marshall into ordering something for them and as soon as it arrived they sat down Indian style facing each other and chowed down.
~*~
Marshall stood at the mixing board watching them sit across from each other munching on the pizza that they’d begged him to order. It made him feel unstable inside watching Taylor with his daughter. She was so loving and attentive. She didn’t push Hailie aside or ignore her childish demands, instead she got down on Hailie’s level and helped carry out those childish demands with selfless effort. Most women that he’d been with, if he gave them the chance to even meet his daughter, treated her like she was basically non-existent. It had always pissed him off that they’d treated her as nothing more than a irritating distraction. That was the main reason that he basically refused to bring Hailie into the picture when he was involved with a woman...
“What’re you thinkin’ about?” Proof asked trying to follow Marshall’s gaze.
“Huh?” he asked turning to look at Proof.
“I SAID what’re you thinkin’ about?”
“Oh, nothing” he shrugged, “we about done with that track?”
“Yep” Proof smiled, “just a couple tweaks here and there and we’ll be done! I figure we’ll be outta here in about an hour or so.”
“Aiight” he said fiddling with some buttons on the mixing board, “let’s get back to work.”
~*~
Hailie was slowly winding down. She’d come over a few minutes ago and cuddled up all comfy and cozy against Taylor’s side. Taylor wrapped a protective arm around the child snuggled in her arms and leaned her head against the back of the couch to watch the cartoons that were playing on the little television across the room. She looked down a few minutes later and saw Hailie’s eyes closed tight. Her heart took all kinds of crazy twists and turns watching Marshall’s child sleeping peacefully in her arms. She’d been in love with Marshall for a long time now and it hurt enormously that he didn’t return that love but she knew now that it would hurt ten times worse when he finally decided he was tired of her because she had let herself fall foolishly in love with his child too...
~*~
Marshall and Proof finished mixing the track they’d been working on and began locking down the studio. They were the only two left, the other guys had ducked out hours ago. They made their way into the little room where Hai and Taylor were watching cartoons and stopped short.
“Awww aren’t they cute?” Proof said studying the two of them.
Marshall was having a hard time concentrating with his heart uncomfortably lodged in his throat. They were sleeping. Their heads pressed against one another’s, their blonde hair mingling together and their arms wrapped protectively around each other.
“I’ll take one, you take the other” he said gruffly to Proof.
“Ooooo, I get to hold Taylor?” Proof asked a bit to excitedly.
“No, you fuckin’ perv” he smirked, “you take Hai, I’ll take Taylor.”
“Spoil Sport” Proof muttered bending down to pick up Hailie. She whimpered a bit before settling in his arms.
Marshall bent down and slid one arm under her knees and the other under her back gently lifting Taylor up into the cradle of his arms. Her eyes popped open, they were clouded over from sleep but flickered up to meet his.
“Hey” she mumbled sleepily, “I’m sorry, I must’ve feel asleep.”
“It’s ok” he whispered leaning forward to brush his lips across her forehead.
She sighed contentedly and burrowed her face into the crook of his neck. They carried Marshall’s two sleeping beauties out to his car and Proof got Hailie all settled in while Marshall leaned the seat back and set Taylor in the front passenger seat. She mumbled some sleepy nonsense and curled into a ball on the seat. He brushed his fingers lightly through a few strands of hair that had escaped her pony tail before closing the door and walking around to the other side where Proof was still standing.
“Aight dawg” Proof smiled, “you get those ladies home and I’ll catch you manana”
“Aiight” he smiled doing that crazy hand thing with Proof that always baffled Taylor.
He watched Proof walk to his car and get in before he pulled open the driver’s side door and hopped in the car. He pulled out and quietly drove home...
~*~
Marshall motioned one of the security guards posted at the front gates that separated his property from the outside world to follow him up to the house. Once he’d put his car in park and gotten out he walked over to the security guard.
“Hey can you take Hai up to her room” he said pointing toward his sleeping angel in the back seat, “if she wakes up tell her I’ll be in to tuck her tight in a minute.”
“Sure Marsh” the security guard said walking around to take Hailie out of the backseat. Marshall tossed him the keys and he headed for the house.
Marshall walked around to the passenger side and opened the door, scooping the still sleeping Taylor into his arms. He began his slow journey towards the front door and headed for his bedroom. Somewhere along the way she started to stir, opening her eyes and looking groggily up at him.
“Where are we?” she asked trying to get her bearings.
“Shhhhh” he smiled down at her, “go back to sleep baby, we’re home.”
“Home?”
“My house” he reiterated and couldn’t stop himself from leaning in to rub his lips against the smooth skin on her forehead again.
“Oh” she sighed, “I should really go home” she tried to sit up straighter in his arms.
“Relax” he laughed, “you were already sleeping so I brought you here.”
“Well I’m awake now” she reasoned. Some of her sense was breaking through the fog her sleepiness had enshrouded her brain with, “and I should really go home. Hailie won’t understand if she wakes up in the morning and I’m still here.”
“Don’t worry about that”
“I AM worried about that” she fretted.
“Don’t” he whispered, “besides, how is it that you think you’re getting home?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“I picked you up today, remember?”
“Oh yeah” she said, “I’ll call a cab or something, it’s no big deal.”
“No, you won’t” he insisted, “I want you to stay...”
“But Hailie...”
“Will understand” he finished for her, “now stop arguing with me, ok?”
“Ok” she smiled, “if you insist..”
“I do!” he shook his head pulling back the covers and placing her on his bed, “I’ll be back, I gotta go tuck Hailie in.”
“K...” she muttered snuggling into the warmth of the comforter adorning his bed.
He padded quietly down the hallway towards Hailie’s room. The security guard was still standing guard outside of her room waiting for him.
The guard passed Marshall the keys, “Thanks man.”
“You got it” he said before turning away and heading down the hall toward the front door.
Marshall pushed open Hai’s bedroom door and tip toed across the room. She was still sleeping snuggled up like a tiny little cherub on top of her frilly pink blankets. He pulled the blankets gently from underneath her and laid them over her, tucking in the sides tightly like he knew she liked. She was still wearing her clothes from today but that was ok, he’d make her take a bath in the morning. He bent down and gave her a goodnight kiss before walking over and pulling her door shut. He made his way back towards the front door and locked it before turning around and heading back to his room. He entered his room quietly and a smile danced across his lips when he spotted Taylor. She was sleeping again, all curled up in a ball and wrapped tight in his comforter just like Hailie. He slipped his clothes off until he was clad in nothing but his boxers and climbed in next to her pulling the remainder of the comforter over him and pressing himself intimately against her back. She sighed in her sleep and he smiled. His last troubling thought before he tumbled off into dreamland was ‘I could get used to this...’
~CHAPTER 14~
NOTES: I must say that some of you are probably gonna want to hunt me down and do evil things to me at the end of this chapter BUT try and remember that 'with anything good that's worth having, sometimes a little rain must fall...' Oh and another little philosophy of mine 'I'm just tryin' to keep it *real*'...
~*~
Time seems to fly right by you and before you know it, you are so steeped in routine that you don’t even realize how enormously things have changed in your life. That’s exactly how Marshall felt on this uncharacteristically dreary day. Big nasty clouds were grouped together like allies blocking any sun from shining through, rain was pelting harshly against the windows, the steady rat-ta-tat-tat causing his nerves to stand on end, thunder boomed menacingly from the heavens above getting closer with every loud clap and lightning split through the sky in evil patterns bringing the only light on what was otherwise a very dark day. ‘What the hell does all this mean?’ he wondered. He really had no clue other than the fact that toady he was in one of the foulest moods he’d been in, in a long, long time. Taylor wasn’t there this morning, lying warm and soft in his arms when he’d woken up and maybe that was what had caused him to notice all the changes that had occurred while he’d been blindly going through life in a smoky haze. She’d somehow become so intricately woven into his life that he couldn’t clearly remember a time when she wasn’t there. He wracked his brain trying to pinpoint the exact moment she’d gone from being just there to becoming a necessity. He couldn’t pinpoint it and all this bullshit thinking was doing absolutely nothing to improve his mood. He tossed his pen aside and stared down at the blank paper in front of him. He’d been trying unsuccessfully to write something, anything to describe this crazy, weird doom that had come down on him but nothing was coming out. His hand had remained stubbornly still. His brain unable to function properly because it was overloaded with thoughts of her. ‘This shit has to stop’ he mumbled getting to his feet and pacing back and forth across the hardwood floors in the kitchen. He couldn’t go on day and night just thinking about her, that was ludicrous. He needed to be preparing himself for tonight, not mooning over some chick that made him feel... ‘FUCK’ he screamed to the empty kitchen. His voice carrying through the room and filtering back through his ears..that made him feel loved...that was it, the root of the problem. She made him feel loved and he didn’t know what to do with that!!! ‘Do I love her?’ he wondered, ‘Does she love me?’ He just didn’t know and it was like one big, major mind fuck trying to figure it out. He stalked out of the kitchen and headed for his bedroom. ‘None of this shit matters right now’ he reasoned with himself, ‘I have a show to do tonight and that’s the only thing that matters!’ he rummaged around in his closet, pawing through the heaps of clothing until he found something he felt like wearing, he snatched it off the hanger and turned to stalk out of the closet, tossing his clothes on the bed before heading for the bathroom. He turned the water on full heat, stripped down and stepped under the scorching spray. Praying that maybe the hot water would wash away all thoughts of her...
~*~
Taylor’s morning hadn’t been a walk in the park either. She was just as bitchy as Marshall was, maybe not for the same reasons but she was feeling miserable none the less. She’d had to sit through countless hours of testimony for a man who she knew without a doubt was guilty as sin and here she was fighting with everything she had inside to get him off. She hated it. She wanted nothing more than to jump up and scream, ‘I fucking quit, send the guilty bastard to jail and be done with it’ but she couldn’t. She was his attorney and like it or not, she had to fight for him. The obnoxiously long, drawn out court case was winding down but, ‘Whoop De Doo’ she thought sourly. From here she had to go back to her office and shovel through tons of shit for another case she was working on for yet another crooked asshole with enough money to buy himself a spiffy attorney. She was seriously thinking of putting a big, fat fucking sign on her door that read, ‘If you are guilty, don’t even bother walking through the door’ but the sad fact was, if she did that she’d probably go bankrupt in a matter of months. She missed Marshall, his ruggedly handsome features floating through her mind was the only thing that was keeping her sane today. She’d missed waking up this morning snuggled against him. It had become a pattern, they’d either end up at her house or his drifting off to sleep wrapped in each others arms. She wasn’t going to try and analyze what any of it meant. If she did that she knew she’d just open herself up to more hurt because she was smart enough to know that eventually shit was going to come crashing down around her! She just hoped to God that she was prepared for it, when it did..
“Tay” she heard Morgan whisper in her ear.
“What babe?” she asked leaning forward to whisper back at Morgan. The evil judge just over yonder didn’t like when people disrupted things in ‘her courtroom’
“Nothing, you just look lost” Morgan whispered, “you ok?”
“Oh, yeah” she smiled, “I’m fine.”
“K” Morgan smiled back, “why don’t you skip the paperwork and head home when her highness up there calls an end to this debacle.”
“Can’t” she sighed, “that asshole’s trial starts first thing Monday morning and I’m not prepared for it, at all.”
“I can study up for it” Morgan offered, “and cover you on Monday.”
“No, no” she said, “you know how the judge gets all pissy when we switch it up like that and besides I know you have plans tonight.”
“So do you” Morgan countered.
“Yes but I’m sure Marshall will understand if I’m a bit late.”
“If you insist” Morgan sighed, “but it’s really no problem at all.”
“I know, thanks Morgan, really”
They both heard the judge bang her torture tool against the wood that shielded her from the rest of them and turned back around to face her. She was dismissing them for the day, ‘YIPEE’ she sighed getting to her feet. She exchanged a few necessary words with her client and gathered up her shit before joining Morgan in the hallway..
“You sure you don’t want me to handle ‘The Richardson’ case on Monday?” Morgan offered again, “it’s no problem.”
“Yeah, I’m sure” she smiled, “Go out, have fun, be free, be merry and all that!!”
“Yeah, you too” Morgan laughed.
“All right” she smirked, “I’ll see you Monday morning before I head into hell!”
“You got it” Morgan laughed.
They exchanged quick hugs before going their separate ways...
~*~
It was hotter than the depths of hell in the smoky, over packed club they were performing in tonight. Eminem, Proof, Swifty, Kuniva, Kon Artist and Bizzare all paced in the small space they ironically dubbed ‘backstage’ They were moments away from going on stage and giving the rowdy crowd the performance they were demanding.
“Is she here yet?” he asked Proof looking around the guys to see if he could spot her.
“Nope, don’t think so” Proof shrugged, “don’t worry she’ll be here.”
He’d given the club owners strict instructions. Taylor was V.I.P. and she was to be treated as such. He wanted to know the minute she arrived and he didn’t want anyone giving her any trouble but she hadn’t arrived yet and he was slowly working his way into pissed. She knew what time they were going on, he’d told her a thousand times and he wanted to see her before he took the stage. He didn’t know why but he’d been in such a fucked up mood today that he needed to see her before going out there. He rarely got nervous anymore. Performing for him now was like second nature, just something he was used to doing but tonight he was feeling antsy inside and he needed her to calm him.
“Fuck, she knows what time we’re going on” he bitched looking over at Proof, “so where the fuck is she?”
“I dunno dawg?” Proof tried to calm him, “but she’ll be here, I know she will! So just relax.”
He tried his best to relax but his nerves were frayed to the breaking point. He heard their name being called out over the hoots, hollers and ear piercing screams the crowd emitted.
“That’s our cue” Proof said turning to head toward the stage.
They all ran out one by one and the music to Pour Your 40 Out started blaring through the club. Bizzare took his place center stage and began working the crowd with his verse. Marshall followed and after that song was done they lead into another one and then another...
~*~
Taylor was running around the house like a chicken with her head cut off. She had spent way more time than she should have prepping for her case Monday morning. It was a tough one but if she spun the right angle, she could get him off. She would have much rather let him take the fall and go to jail for a nice amount of time but she’d accepted his case fully knowing he was guilty so whether she liked it or not she absolutely had to stand for him. She was now running very, very late. She hopped in the shower and scrubbed up in record time, hopping out and traipsing through her room leaving massive puddles of water in her wake. She tossed clothes in haphazard directions looking for something to wear. She wanted to look good for Marshall. Tonight D12 was giving a concert at one of the areas prominent nightclubs and he’d asked her to be there. She still always felt nervous about going out in public with him and tonight was a big one. He’d never asked her out to something quite so public. He normally took her out to clubs to hang with his boys or to the studio to hang with him and Hai or out to do something fun with him and Hai. He had introduced her to everyone special in his life and that had been very intimidating. She’d practically swallowed her tongue when he’d dragged her to LA to have dinner with Dre and his wife. The whole world knew that they were ‘seeing each other’ but he had never invited her to anything like this and she didn’t want to let him down. She finally settled on a pair of hip huggers that accentuated her curves very nicely, a short halter top that left a nice amount of skin showing and a pair of strappy sandals. She rushed back into the bathroom and quickly applied her make-up taking the briefest of moments to make sure she got the affect she was aiming for. After she was absolutely satisfied that her make-up was done to perfection she began messing with her hair. She ended up with some crazy sort of up do that left some of her fat curls tickling her neck and dancing merrily around her face. She slipped into her outfit quickly, slid her feet into her sandals, grabbed her small purse and headed for the door at break neck speed. She hopped into her car and pulled out quickly heading for the club. She hoped that he understood why she was late. This was a big deal and she didn’t want to make him look bad by not being there for him...
~*~
Marshall rushed off the stage, adrenaline coursed through his veins. He’d been shaky going out there but once the music had entered his system he’d forgotten about anything except giving his fans the performance of his life. He did a quick search and scan for Taylor and when he didn’t see her he sent someone to the front door to find out if she’d arrived. He saw the guy heading his way shaking his head NO. ‘Where the fuck is she?’ he began stalking toward the other relatively small area they’d dubbed ‘dressing rooms’
“Yo, Marsh” Proof said walking into the tiny room Marshall was using as ‘His Dressing Room’ , “that was some bad ass shit dawg, did you see the crowd? Hear them?”
“Yeah” he muttered slamming down on the tiny couch shoved into a corner of the room.
“What the fuck’s with you?”
“She ain’t here”
“I told you, she’d be here” Proof assured, “something must’ve come up or else she’d be here already.”
“Whatever” he shrugged getting up and heading for the door.
Proof followed him, “where you goin’ man?”
“To get a drink” he snapped heading over to one of the waitresses they’d put back there to serve them.
“Stop poutin’ man, she’ll be here” Proof said smacking him on the back.
“She should’ve been here already” was his only reply before bending down and ordering a rather potent drink.
The waitress brought his drink in seconds later and he downed it, ordering another. After a few drinks he was feeling loose and that could be a problem.
“You should slow down” Proof said eyeing Marshall’s fourth drink.
“Fuck off” he muttered tipping his drink and pouring the toxic liquid down his throat, it didn’t even burn anymore and that was good.
“Whatever” Proof said shaking his head, “if you wanna be all fucked up when she gets here, that’s you’re choice.” he got up and walked out shaking his head at Marshall’s antics. Marshall and Taylor had been together for a while now. They were probably the most frustrating couple that he’d ever seen. They obviously had feelings for each other, strong feelings, unless he was missing his mark but both of them refused to budge. ‘Maybe they don’t realize it?’ he reasoned. That was the only thing in his mind that could explain the way they danced around their feelings like they were going to get bitten. He just hoped to hell that Marshall didn’t say something stupid to fuck it up.
Marshall sat in his dressing leaning his head back against the uncomfortable couch. He wasn’t drunk, yet but he was feeling loose and that more times than not had gotten him in trouble because when he felt loose he got reckless...
~*~
Taylor fought her way through the mob of people outside. She was feeling like sludge because she heard a few chicks talking about what a HOT performance D12 had given. So she assumed that she’d missed the show. ‘God, I’m so sorry Marshall!’ she whispered to herself. She finally managed to make it to the bouncer who was covering the door. She gave him her name, flashed her I.D. and was immediately ushered to what they called ‘back stage’ It was actually a joke this tiny little area that they packed their special guests into. ‘Oh well she shrugged looking around for Marshall. She spotted a door with his name on it and hightailed it in that direction. The door was closed but that didn’t stop her. She twisted the knob shoving the door open and what she saw caused her heart to lurch violently.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry” she heard herself say. It was funny because her voice sounded so distant. Like she was having some kind of out of body experience, “I guess I should’ve knocked..” and with that parting comment she turned on her heel and walked, not ran down the hallway.
She had seen enough to know that he wasn’t actually fucking the chick he had pressed up against the wall but God if she’d come in 10 minutes, may 5 minutes later she had no doubt that, that’s what she would have walked in on. ‘Maybe I should be thankful that they hadn’t actually gotten to the fucking part yet’ she thought bitterly, ‘Who the fuck am I kidding?’ she laughed as tears began to pour down her face, ‘That’s probably what they’re doing now!’ She continued walking, she hadn’t begun to run yet. She was still trapped in that crazy euphoria that shock causes but the sound of his voice calling her name breaking through the glass that the shock had built around her was the final straw, she took off running as fast and as far away from him as she could get...
~CHAPTER 15~
NOTE: Again...remeber the whole "rain falling" quote from earlier...
~*~
Taylor ran and ran, her legs were moving but she didn’t feel a thing, it was so surreal. She thought she passed Proof or maybe it was Kuniva, she couldn’t tell, everything was such a blur. She felt like she’d crossed over into the Netherworld and was being swallowed alive by all the doom and gloom surrounding her. The hallow staccato of Marshall’s voice was still ringing in her ears and she couldn’t tell if it was some crazy trick of her mind or if he was actually still chasing after her, didn’t matter, she increased her speed bursting out into the cold Detroit air. She looked around frantically searching for her car, it was as if her mind had left her, floating somewhere out there in space disconnected from her body. The sound of his voice was growing louder, stronger, piercing her eardrums. She brought her hands up to cover her ears. She didn’t want to hear it anymore. That voice, that velvety smooth voice that made her heart flutter, ‘God, PLEASE make it STOP’ she screamed out, her voice drifting through the air. She turned around and saw him, he was right there coming out of the club a few feet away and she felt her stomach lurch. He took a step toward her but was immediately swallowed up, disappearing from sight as the ever efficient members of his security scooped him up and pulled him back into the safety of the club. She thanked God above and anyone else who would listen before shooting forward again in search of her car. Through sheer force of will she managed to find it. She shoved the key into the lock with trembling fingers and finally got the damn door open, hopping inside. She wasted no time starting the engine and shooting forward, darting out of the parking lot and into traffic. She had to get away from here, away from him...
~*~
Marshall wasn’t drunk enough to believe that this was all just a bad dream but he wished to anything holy that it was. When the door had opened and he’d heard her voice, so calm and distant.. ‘Oh shit, I’m sorry...I guess I should’ve knocked..’ he felt like his limbs had seized. He’d jerked his head around to look at her, she’d looked so...so... ‘God, what the fuck have I done?’ he whispered. She’d tried to play it off with her snappy little comment but he’d seen past that tough exterior, he saw what it did to her and something else, ‘How fucking stupid have I been, not to see it before?’ he berated himself, ‘What the fuck is the matter with me?’ She’d tried to mask it and she’d done a pretty good job but not good enough because he’d seen it so clearly hidden behind the hurt. Love...pure, open, beautiful, passionate, mind blowing love, she loved him. He felt his head spin and reached for something to steady himself. When she’d backed out of the room and turned to walk off he’d turned after her but the alcohol had fucked up his equilibrium and he hadn’t been able to keep up with her so he’d called out to her and then she’d started running. Something inside of him snapped, he couldn’t let her go, it literally hit him like a ton of fucking bricks but dammit he’d finally figured it out, he loved her too. He’d somehow managed to find the strength to make his heavy legs move and began running after her. He ran out into the frigid night mere minutes after her and caught sight of her staring around in confusion, she turned and their eyes met seconds before all hell broke loose. The fans lingering outside had caught site of him and started advancing but his security was too quick for them. They’d scooped him up and dragged him inside. So here he stood leaning his head against the cool texture of the wall trying to regain his balance.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Proof asked walking up to stand next to him.
“Where the fuck are my keys?” he bit out, “I’ve gotta get outta here!”
“You’re not driving anywhere in this condition” Proof said with a note of finality, “now come back here and sit the fuck down.”
“FUCK YOU” he yelled jerking his arm away from Proof, “I gotta go, I gotta find her, I hurt her..”
“I know you did” Proof sighed, “I saw her..”
“Oh, Fuck..I have to find her..”
“I’ll drive you” Proof offered, “but you are NOT going anywhere by yourself in this condition, got it?”
“Yeah, Yeah..” Marshall sighed.
Proof went to grab his keys and swung by to grab Marshall on his way out the private entrance of the club.
“Where do you think she went?” Proof asked looking over at Marshall.
“I dunno” he shrugged, “home?”
“We’ll try there first..”
They drove the rest of the way to her house in silence. Proof wondering what the fuck happened and Marshall praying to God that he could fix this because he couldn’t lose her now when he’d just realized that he loves her...
~*~
Taylor had no idea how she got home. The ride had been nothing more than a jumble of lights and sounds but she’d somehow managed to make it. She parked her car and tore up the driveway trying to make it inside before she became violently ill. She just barely made it and spent the next few minutes hugging the cold porcelain of the toilet bowl. She’d always known that in the end he was going to hurt her but no matter how hard she’d tried she wasn’t quite prepared for when it actually happened. She hated herself for this! For letting a man eat her up this way! For letting him destroy the strong, independent woman that she’d fought so hard to become! She was better than this, she was better than some weak minded woman spilling her guts into a lowly toilet bowl over a man that didn’t deserve the love she offered so freely so why the fuck did it hurt so much? That was the baffling question. The one she’d been asking herself for months. ‘Why the fuck does it hurt so much??’ She didn’t have a reasonable answer, she didn’t have an answer at all. She stripped herself of the clothes she’d been wearing and walked over to the trash can in her room, shoving the scraps of clothing viciously into the tiny container, she never wanted to see them again. She pulled out her pajamas and dressed herself. Her body had shut down, she was simply running on fumes at this point. She crawled up on her bed and buried herself under the covers, wrapping them around her like a shield. She closed her eyes tight and wished for sleep...
~*~
Proof pulled up in her driveway and noticed her car sitting in the driveway, he turned to Marshall as he was opening the door, “I don’t know what happened between you two tonight but she’s a good woman and she loves you Marshall, try and remember that..”
Marshall didn’t say anything he just got out of the car and disappeared into the shadows of the night. He made it to her door and stood there looking at it like it was his enemy, the only thing separating him from the woman he loved. He stared at it for a few seconds before bringing his fist up to rap his knuckles against the intimidating wood...
~*~
Taylor heard the tap-tapping at her door and winced. She didn’t have to answer the door to know who it was. She didn’t want to face him, she couldn’t do it. She unwrapped herself from her soft shield before quietly padding to the front door and looking through the tiny peep hole. He looked like a lost little boy standing there banging on her door and for a fraction of a second her defenses slipped. She reached for the lock and was about to turn it when those defenses popped back into place. He stopped knocking and she thought that maybe he’d given up but then she heard his voice...
“Taylor...please...” he begged, “please open the door, I’m sorry...I’m so fucking sorry...”
**I'm not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know...**
She turned her back to lean against the hard wood of the door and silently slid to the floor...
“I know I fucked up baby” he continued, “I know I did and I..I just wish, I dunno..I’ve fucked up so many things in my life, so many things but I never meant to hurt you, God, Taylor I never wanted to hurt you...”
If she was in there, she wasn’t going to answer the door and it hurt because he wanted to see her, touch her, hold her, tell her that he loved her. That he finally figured it out, he fucking loved her. He didn’t want to tell that shit to the lifeless wood that separated them. He turned his back to the door and slid to the hard ground of her porch not knowing that on the other side of that wood between them she was in the exact same position...
**I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you...**
“I know I’ve never told you this Taylor but you mean so much to me, so fucking much. I go through everyday on auto pilot when you’re not with me, waiting for the moment when I’ll get to see your beautiful face, feel your satiny skin, hold you in my arms, just fucking holding you I feel right again...”
Taylor had always prided herself on being a strong woman but he was slowly tearing her apart. She could feel the tears tracking down her face and she swiped at them. She wanted to open the door, take him in her arms and forget about everything she’d seen tonight but she couldn’t. He’d hurt her too deep...
**I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear...**
“I can still remember the first time I saw you...you were arguing with that asshole Justin and it made me smile the way you were looking at him like he was scum, I admired your strength so much and God, when I made love to you Taylor, that night on the dance floor...it...it was...so...intense. You have no idea...I told myself when it was over, I should just walk away from you, walk away and never look back but I couldn’t..you felt too good Taylor, you felt too right...”
**I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You...**
“When I left you sleeping that morning in the hotel room, I had to talk myself into going...I sat there forever just watching you sleep, itching to touch you, just touch you and maybe you’d wake up and then I wouldn’t have to leave..I bet you didn’t know that? I didn’t want to go but I did..I dunno...it’s that crazy defense mechanism built inside me that made me walk away from you but it drove me crazy..you wouldn’t get outta my head...I had to find you...”
**I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know...**
“I hate myself for hurting you, it seems like that’s all I’ve done is hurt you, over and over again...that night in the park when you asked me if I still loved Kim...I should’ve answered your question then but I was a coward and then you ran and I..I just..when you came back it was just easier to let it go...why hash up old shit but it wasn’t fair...to you...God, I’ve been so unfair to you...since the beginning...”
**I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you...**
“I don’t know if you realize this Taylor but I’ve changed so much since I’ve been with you..I’ve grown up, gotten stronger, learned to trust...I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life...ever...you’ve given me a reason to be different, to be better...you’ve given me a reason to experience life again...to experience love again...”
**I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you...**
“I know I don’t show it like I should...I still keep so much of myself hidden but it’s there Taylor, it’s there...I want to show you how I feel, I need to...it took this to make me see it and I’m sorry but I see it now...I see it...I had the most precious thing in the world and I fucked it up..I had you Taylor...I had you...”
He turned around, running his hands over the soft wood before leaning forward to press his lips against it, “I’m sorry...” he whispered before getting up and heading back to the car.
On the other side of the door Taylor sat crying, “I’m sorry too...” she whispered brokenly...Author: AIMEENDREW@aol.com
These stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.