My Immortal
Author's Note: This fic is dedicated to Taz...I love ya girl...
~*~
**I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone**
Marshall sat listlessly. Trapped *deep* inside himself. Lost in a world of pain and sadness so deep it sucked his life and torched his soul. He stared down at her photo and the pain that washed over him, through him, was like a poker shoved through the heart to torture him. To kill any life he had left in his hollowed out body. He clutched her photo to his barely beating heart and screamed. Screamed for peace. Screamed for solitude. Screamed for her....God, please....he just wanted her...
**These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase**
“Daddy” Hailie asked trying to reach him but he was gone. “Daddy, please” she begged “please come back, I need you.”
His blank eyes that had once shone so brightly looked up into Hailie’s pleading ones and a single solitary tear slid down his face. He wanted to come back to her. He needed to come back to her. She was his baby, the only reason he had left for living but the pain was too deep. Too fresh. He couldn’t push it away. It wouldn’t leave. It stayed trapped in his body like an illness eating him up from the inside.
Hailie clutched his hand and crawled up curling herself in his lap like she had done too many times to count. She laid her head on his chest and listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart “I know it hurts daddy” she whispered “I miss her too but I’m here daddy. I’m still here.”
Her words broke through some of the pain and he reached up to wrap his arms around his baby girl. Holding her. “I love you Hai” he whispered against her soft hair. "I love you so much."
**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
and I've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me**
<FLASHBACK>
He held her while her body wracked with sobs. She’d been gone for two days doing God knows what and she’d come back here tonight looking for forgiveness....
“I’m sorry” she whimpered “I’m so sorry” she clutched him tighter afraid to let him go “I”ll get better baby, I promise I will” she leaned back and looked at him through tear stained eyes “don’t leave me..God please don’t leave me. I can’t live with out you.”
“I’ll never leave you” he said with conviction. With honesty. “No matter what” he grabbed her chin and stared deeply into her eyes “you’ll always have me” he kissed her softly “all of me.”
**You used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**
He woke up in a tangled mass of sheets. Sweat pouring from his trembling body. She wouldn’t leave. She haunted him day and night. He saw her face in every dream. In every waking moment. Her voice called to him. The beautiful sound taunting him. Tearing at him. He was slowly losing ground. Losing control. Losing his sanity....
**These wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase**
“Hailie” he whispered in the night and his heart painfully constricted. He’d been so unfair to Hailie. He sat up in bed and looked around the room, *their* room, and the memories of her assaulted him full force but he wouldn’t let them drag him under. He couldn’t. He needed to be strong for Hailie. She had paid for their sins for far too long. He got up and slowly crept down the hallway towards his baby's room. He quietly pushed open the door and walked over to her bed. He stood there staring down at his *angel* “I’m sorry” he whispered “I’ve been so unfair to you baby. This pain just won’t go away but I know you’re hurting too” he dropped to his knees next to her bed and laid his head on the soft comforter “Oh God Hai I’ve been so selfish. I never thought about how much you’re hurting too...I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.”
Hailie reached for him through the darkness placing a soft hand on his head “I forgive you daddy” she whispered “I forgive you.”
**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me**
<FLASHBACK>
“Why?” Marshall screamed brokenly and the tears began to fall. Tears of pain. Tears of sadness. Tears of longing. Tears of regret. The tears tracked down his face landing in her soft hair as he clutched her lifeless body. “WHY KIM, WHY?”
She couldn’t answer him. She was already gone. The drugs that she coveted had finally taken her life.
“Oh God Kim” he cried rocking her “I love you....I love you so much. Why wasn’t that enough? Why couldn’t you let that be enough?” the tears wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t cease. They blinded him. “I would have done anything for you. Anything. I would have given my life for you.” he felt sick as the reality that she wouldn’t answer him, she couldn’t, hit home. He would never hear her sweet voice or her magical laughter ever again. “You had me Kim. You always had me, why did you do this?” he asked again as he continued rocking the shell of the women, the only women, who would ever truly hold his heart.
**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
I've been alone all along**
“HAILIE” Marshall screamed up the stairs “you ready baby?”
“Yeah” she yelled coming down the stairs “let’s go.”
They drove to the cemetery in silence. Each lost in their own thoughts. Thoughts of a woman who had touched and affected their lives in so many ways. Marshall parked the car and they walked toward Kim’s grave together hand in hand. He looked down at the cold marble of her head stone and the pain jolted through his body but he accepted it now. He knew he couldn’t change it.
He bent down and placed a single red rose on the soft grass that covered his love, his life, his heart. “I miss you baby” he whispered “I miss you so much” and as the tears fell plopping down onto the grass below Hailie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and he clutched it tightly. He knew that everything was going to be all right. As long as they had each other they’d be ok.....The End.
Email Author: AIMEENDREW@aol.com
These stories are for entertainment purposes only. They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character. No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.