The Eminem Show

Track 3 - Cleaning Out My Closet

[Where's my snare?
I have no snare in my headphones - there you go
Yeah..yo, yo]

He looked at her candidly, analyzing her privately.

[Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have; I've been protested and demonstrated against
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times
Sick as the mind of the motherfuckin kid that's behind
all this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's exploding]

She was going through an enormous stack of depositions regarding his latest lawsuit; her concentration impenetrable as she took in the words, the facts, and began to arrange them in the order that would guarantee him a win-and remind him of why he paid her so well.

She was gorgeous; her hair in a haphazard bun with strands falling to the sides of her face, makeup fading as the day turned dark and cold.

"Nicky, you don't have to get it all done tonight," Marshall reminded her from the other side of the mahogany conference table. "It's nearly eleven."

"Look, do you want to win or not? The hearing is only a few days away, and your case isn't built solid yet."

[Tempers flarin from parents just blow 'em off and keep goin
Not takinnothin from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathin
Keep kickin ass in the mornin and takin names in the evening]

"Fuck, Nick, I don't know why you're trippin'. You never lose."

"And I want to keep it that way. Marshall, the more of these you win, the better it is for you in the long run. These greedy sons of bitches love to go after celebs with full pockets and a dirty mouths."

[Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out
Look at me now; I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?
I'ma make you look so ridiculous now]

"So what, I should shut my mouth?"

"I didn't say that. I'm telling you why it's important we win."

"We always win," he said with frustration. "Last month, we fuckin' blew 'em away. We won that bitch."

[I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet]

"It was against your mom," she reminded him.

"Who gives a shit? Not her!"

"It was an easy case."

"Easy or not, we won it. That was an important case-to me."

"I know it was," Nicky said softly. "But this case is important to your career."

"Fuck the family association."

"It's that attitude that pisses them off."

"I'm not going to censor myself for some uptight pricks! I'm just sayin' how I fuckin' feel!"

[Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet
and I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '73]

"I know, Marshall."

He sighed. Nicky wasn't criticizing him or forcing him to do anything; he was irritated with all the lawsuits being thrown at him-all for a bunch of words written out of moments of insanity.

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she replied and began to read her notes.

[before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin CD
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch
cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don't on second thought I just fuckin wished he would die]

"That's one thing we don't want-you can't be apologetic or regretful."

"Huh?" he asked confused.

"That's what they want. Your words are just words, freedom of speech. They can't step on the first amendment."

"I wasn't plannin' on playin' sorry," he growled and ran his hands through his hair.

"I didn't think you would, but you're the victim here-not their stupid children. If you're sorry, they're going to start wondering if you see your own words as wrong. It'll give them a stronger prosecution," she said.

[I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leavin her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake]

"And they're going to talk about Hailie."

"Fuck that," he yelled. "That's my daughter, that isn't their business!"

"They're going to make it their business. Calm down, Marshall," Nicky advised as she could see his temper rising.

Marshall's blood pumped furiously as he attempted to reign his temper in, but it was his daughter. He couldn't stand the idea of them tarnishing her name or accusing him of being a bad father; that girl meant everything to him, stood for his greatest accomplishment.

[I maybe made some mistakes
but I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
CuzI'da killed him; shit I woulda shot Kim and them both
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"]

"I'm just warning you."

"I know," he nodded in understanding.

[Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin
But put yourself in my position; just try to envision
witnessin your momma poppin prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin that someone's always gointhrouh her purse and shit's missin
Goin through public housin systems, victim of Munchausen's Syndrome]

"You're the best, Nick," he said after he had walked her to her car.

"That's what you pay me to be," she teased. "I'll call you bright and early tomorrow."

"Great," he replied, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

And a flash of lights blinded them both; cruelly interrupting a tender moment of a forged friendship of circumstance.

[My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?
But guess what? You're gettin older now and it's cold when your lonely
And Nathan's growin up so quick he's gonna know that your phony
And Hailie'sgettin so big now; you should see her, she's beautiful
But you'll never see her - she won't even be at your funeral!]

They both cringed as they imagined how the tabloid headlines would read.

It was just another part of the life of the rapper, of Eminem, of some celebrity persona that felt like a stifling suit. He had to keep his family hidden from the public eye to protect them from media harassment; from the harsh words they'd hurl at him, at them. Just the mere thought of his Hailie being called vile, disgusting names was enough to accelerate his temper to a fevered pitch.

[See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong
Bitch do your song - keep tellin yourself that you was a mom!
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
You selfish bitch; I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well guess what, I +AM+ dead - dead to you as can be]

It was these times, the moments where paparazzi were able to find him and snap photographs of his movements, steal the privacy out of his life, that he wished he hadn't blown up. That he hadn't taken out the skeletons he'd kept so hidden so well for so long.

Chapter 4

Author: zines@aol.com

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These stories are for entertainment purposes only.  They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character.  No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.