Em 'n' Em

1
~*~*~*~*~*~

I'd never in a million years have imagined that *I*, of all people, would *ever* be the one walking down the red carpet. Movie openings, Grammy's and now possibly the Oscars?

Who could have ever predicted six years ago that I'd be taking Hailie to the L.A. premiere of a movie I starred in?

"Just fuckin' amazing is what it is," I mutter to as I step off the plane carrying Hailie. She's asleep- fell asleep on the flight and I don't wanna wake her up. It's been an exhausting couple a days.

"What's that?" Proof asks. I'm glad he came with me too. Everyone was such a big help.

"Nuthin', Man. Hey- you comin' to New York with me?"

"Yeah- definitely. When we leavin'?"

"Gotta be there on Tuesday afternoon for rehearsals and shit, so probably Tuesday morning. But I'll call."

"Later."

"Bye."

I'm finally on my way home. This long ass exhaustive week is *over* and I can relax over the weekend. Well- with an active six year old and a multimillion dollar record deal riding on my shoulders- I never really *relax*. But some time in the pool with Hai-Hai will help.

-----------

I place Hai-Hai in her bed and slip her sneakers off her feet, really carefully. Sometimes she wakes up and then wants to play. I'm such a sucker for her too- she could get me to do anything she wanted. Alls she has to do is look up at me with those beautiful eyes and say 'please' and I'm hers.

And now I can just crash. I hit play on the answering machine and start getting undressed.

<"BEEP. Hi, Marshall. It's me- just wanted to let you know that I'll be home Sunday night, if you wanted to drop Hailie off- or you could take her to school on Monday and I'll get her afterwards. I heard about SNL- congrats. Well- bye. Call me.">

<"BEEP. Um- yeah- hi. It's… well- Haven't heard from you… in a while. I was wondering if you'd seen the new video. I'm willing to forgive you- if you wanted… to come over- when you're in New Yo- MESSAGE DELETED.">

 When's that bitch gonna get a life?! I'll have to call Paul tomorrow and tell him Mariah called again. And she wants to deny it when I said she's unstable? Singing about making it through the rain don't really mean you're healthy.

Still- the prospect of sex… with an actual woman, not a loser or- No. Not gonna go there.

<"BEEP. Em- hey. Mom's gone mad again- can I come stay for a while?">

Damn- I gotta get me something. It's like there's this… void. I land on the bed and flip on the TV. I don't much care for night television- but… I need to zone a bit and I like Leno moreso than others.
 
<"Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome a rising new star, making her first appearance here. Miss. Emma Jenson Rodriguez.">

And there she is. The Latin goddess herself. I was amazed to see her at the premiere last night. I mean- I've heard her shit and the whole entertainment industry is talkin' about her. She's an up and coming actress and singer, who's pulled a Good Will Hunting. And ya gotta admit- any girl who wrote a movie and also starred in it and composed the original music is a girl worth talking about. The soundtrack's already gone double platinum, which is pretty impressive, in my book. And the movie's only been out for a month and half and has made $40 million.

Okay- so whenever her name is mentioned- I pay attention.

And I really paid attention when she showed up at the premiere of 8 Mile. I wanted to say something to her, but with Hailie and security and the guys… it was too busy last night, I didn't get a chance.

Proof even told me that I don't have no chance with her. But fuck him. Unfortunately, this fucked life I live doesn't lend itself to heading the movies to see a movie, so I haven't been able to see he rmovie. But people say it's really good- some suspensful movie about a singer. The lead single from the soundtrack is off the hook though. And the entire soundtrack is completely written by her. She's got talent and her lyrics are really good. Hailie loves the music and as long as it's not pop- I'm cool with it. She has something to say and she says it well and I respect that.

<"Now- let's talk about this- the music, the movie- how did it all happen?"

"Well, Jay- ever since I can remember- I've had a notebook with me. I guess I just loved writing- poetry mainly. My father loved music so much- punk rock, classics, ya know Sex Pistols, the Clash- music's always been a part of my life. I started piano and guitar lessons when I was really young and I just naturally started putting my poems to music."

"And you wrote the movie?"

"Yeah- I wrote the story in college and just- I took a course about writing screenplays and I was inspired. My professor loved it and it just got into the right hands, ya know? I'm just lucky."

"Maybe you should change your name- to lucky."

"Yeah- right!">

The way she laughs is just incredible… her eyes light up.

And listen to me! Going on like a fuckin' teenager! I'm thirty years old and I'm obsessing over this one girl…

<"So enough of that. Seems like over night, you've become this major name. The lead single made it to the top 10 on the pop charts, which is pretty amazing. You're a superstar, going all over Hollywood. We've got a picture of you here in L.A. from last night- at the big 8 Mile premiere… how is it?"

"It's amazing! My manager mentioned that she had a chance of scoring some tickets and asked if I was interested. It's one of the best movies I've seen in a while. It's one of those things where you stand up at the end and cheer!"

"Really? That's what I've been hearing- since the Toronto Film Festival. It's drawing a lot of attention. Did you meet Eminem? Do you know him?">

I *wish* she did. Fuck- if she knew me… that would mean I know her and- but she liked it?!

<"No- god, wouldn't *that* be awesome?" She laughed a bit, "Not to sound like a 'Stan' or anything- but I'd *love* to meet him."

"A Stan?" Jay asks.

"Ya know- obsessed stalker? Never mind. Guess you'd have to know his stuff-" The crowd laughs a bit. "See? They know! Where do you live, Jay? A box?">

She knows my stuff!!!

<"So, you're a fan then? Of Eminem's?"

"Am I! I guess I'm eclectic, in my tastes. Ya know- my dad raised me on punk and rock- but it was my older brother that turned me onto hip hop. He's got this huge collection- I was actually at his place when I heard Eminem's first single and I was like 'who *IS* that?' I've been hooked ever since. He's an amazing storyteller."

"So- fans of his will like the movie?"

"Oh- *everyone* will. It's a really well-told story with a great cast. Of course- it's sales are gonna take away from *my* movie- but that's what I get, I guess. Battling it out with Eminem…"

"So what do you think about the controversy around him?"

"He's an amazing artist. He's not saying anything that shouldn't be said- but he says it himself- no one would care if he were any other color. You've gotta give him credit for speaking his mind- I think we could all stand to be a little more like Eminem in that respect."

"Points to ponder, I guess. So, what's the next step for you?"

"Well- we're promoting the movie and album… they're putting together a few concerty things- and I'm constantly working on new stuff, so- we'll see! For now, I'm just enjoying what I've got."

"Well- you've certainly managed to put yourself on the map."

"I hope so."

"Sadly, that's all the time we have with Miss. Emma. Thanks for being here."

"Thanks for having me, Jay. I really appreciate it."

"Next time, you'll have to perform."

"Any time, any time.">

Oh my god! She just defended me! She likes my stuff and says it publically? Granted- this isn't as 'controversial' as the rest has been, but- her PR people are probably screamin' at the TV for *that*.

I grab the phone and dial Proof's number. I gotta tell him this.

<"Hello?">

"Did you see Leno?"

<"Bitch- it's midnight- we just got in. What the fuck are you talking about?">

"She likes me!" And okay that sounded *really* childish. "That girl- Emma… she was on Leno and was raving about how much she likes my shit. So THERE!"

<"Whatever, Man. Call me in the morning." CLICK>

Okay- so he's not as excited about it as I am. But- if she wants to meet me… then maybe there's hope?

Fuck- how am I supposed to sleep after that? Just thinking about her makes me hard.

^*^*^*^*^*^

"Was that not the most retarded interview you've ever heard?" I ask Jase. I can't believe what I moron I was!

"No."

"Be honest, JJ. It totally was. 'Like- yes Jay, I'm like totally in love with Eminem and I wanna have his baby!' GOD- I'm such a moron!" Fuck- I'm so stupid. I flop onto the limo seat and Jason climbs in next to me.

"Relax, Sis- what are the chances that he was actually watching?"

"Yeah- he's probably off partying somewhere on a remote island or something like that with his bitches and hoes." I laugh, but it's no laughing matter. Is it sick to say that I'd *love* to be his hoe? Is that a deranged statement?

Although, I don't really think he's like that. I think he's misunderstood.

But it's not like I'm obsessed with him or anything. Is there anything wrong with liking music and wanting to meet the people who write music that speaks to you? Hell no! But I swear- I sounded like a freakin' teenager in that fuckin' interview!

"Jase, I'm twenty-five years old and I sounded like I'm twelve."

"Yeah- but at least you *looked* grown-up. Little *too* grown-up from a big brother perspective…" And that's my brother- always trying to shelter me and take care of me. Of course, that *is* why he's my 'manager'.

"Yeah- well… I like to make an impression."

"And hip hugging jeans and revealing shirts do that."

"Not too revealing- what? Can't I wanna show off what's mine to show?" It's not like I'm a slut or anything, but I'm comfortable with my sexuality. There's nothing wrong with that. I work out every day- jogging, yoga, kick-boxing… I work hard for my body. So what if I wanna show it off? "Plus- I have a nice rack, you have to admit."

"I don't *think* about your rack, Emmy. I choose not to think about your girl parts."

"Where are we going now?" I ask. We're at the airport. I'm sick of all this interview/appearance shit. I wanna have some fun

"We're going home."

"City home, or home, home?" As much as I love the city- I need to chill for a bit.
 
"Dad's house, then you have a couple interviews in the beginning of next week in the city."

"Great!" Few days R&R at home and then New York City- here I come. But what the hell am I gonna do in New York City?!

I have to admit though, deep inside- I have a feeling that something's gonna happen soon. Something big.

2
~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ya gotta admit- she's hot," I say as I relax into the plane seat. The weekend was just what I needed to chill. Now I can focus on this SNL thing.

"Ooo- I don't disagree wit' that. I think any guy in America would agree- there's a line of guys wantin' to fuck her, Dog. But girls like that? Far cry from trailer trash, ya know?"

"Fuck you, Man- I'm a fuckin' millionaire. I don't need Kim no more- she's got her life and I'ma get my own."

And that's true. Sure, the tabloids have me and Kim getting married again. Like I'm stupid enough to go down *that* road again. Uh- no thanks. Been there, done her, but it's over.

Yes, she's back in my life- as a friend. We *were* friends before we were anything else and it's nice that we can take Hailie somewhere together and not have that tension between us. I guess I'd say that we actually have a healthy relationship now that the divorce is out of the way. I mean- healthy in the fact that we can get along. But I don't think there was ever anything really *healthy* about the relationship to start with.

"You *want* her- huh?"

"What?" I ask Proof. "Who?"

"Emma the Goddess."

"I wouldn't say no- if she asked." I mean- I can be honest.

"Well- then I guess ya gotta meet her, first."

I guess he's right. Nothing'll ever happen if I never meet her. I wonder if I could call her agent and invite to her my house? Not that I would, but- if I wanna get a date with her- I *do* have to at least make a connection.

I believe she's got some appearances scheduled in New York this week- Regis and Kelly, I think. I'll have to look into that.

For now- I pull out my notebook and hit play on my cd player. I've got a few new beats to play with and a few rhymes in mind.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Okay- when I decided to go with the braids in my hair- I wasn't sure, but they look really cool. Very… ghetto- I guess. Although I'm getting sick of my plain brown hair. I think I'm gonna dye it before the photo shoot tomorrow. Jason'll have a fit, but that's okay.

I *do* like the purple contacts though.

"Nice- a little drastic, but- maybe the military thing is in…"

"Ha ha, asshole- I like it." So the military green cargo pants are a bit… extreme- but they look great and barely hang onto my hips. I love these low-ride pants. And I bought ths mauve tank top the other day because it's short. With the low-ride pants and the shorter top- I can show off my tummy.

I mean- if I'm gonna do fifty sit-ups a day- I'm gonna show it off.

"Yeah- but could you show off anymore skin?"

"What? I like my belly button!" I laugh and shake my belly a bit. I always loved girls with belly button piercings, so I did it. Now I've got a diamond chain dangling from it and it looks really cool. "I don't care if you like it- if we're going out clubbing and having *fun* for a change- I'm gonna look good."

"And you do- but from a brother perspective…"

"I know, I know- no guy'll get ten feet within my presence. Just don't chase off the hot ones! Let's go."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"What a shock- baggy pants, t-shirt, sweatshirt… original, Em. Real original."

"Shut up! Like you should talk! I like to be comfortable when I go out. If you don't like it- sue me."

"Why not? Everyone else does!"

"Very funny, Proof."

"Think you'd settle with me?"

"Not in a million years."

"Whatever- I hear the club is pretty exclusive."

It better be, for what the cover charge is. "Life? Yeah- that's what Paul said. So we shouldn't be mobbed or nothin'."

"Yeah- but do they got good music?"

"Who cares? Let's just get outta here!"

Man, every now and then, I just get in one of these moods where nothin's good enough. I wonder if anyone else feels this way?

Not that I'm not happy- because I am. Just having Hailie is enough to make me happier than I've been in a while. She's a huge part of my life- and why I'm even here to begin with. She's… my world.

It's like- the songs, the tattoo… no matter what I do to try and express what I feel for her- I'm still lacking the words to describe what being a father feels like. Shit- the second I laid on eyes on her for the first time- it was like- I knew she was everything in the world. I fell in love with her and she's had my heart ever since.

I just don't get how you could look a kid and just walk away. How can you hold your own child and not wanna hold them forever?

How can you sue your *own* fuckin' son?! Or say you were the perfect mother? Or go on fuckin' *national* *television* and air out his private business?!

Fuckin' bitch!

Okay- I'm not gonna do this now. We're going out- to have fun. It's been so long since we've done that- gone out for the sake of going out. Not like I can do it much since I get mobbed by fans everywhere I go. I guess this club should at least give me a night of normalcy. I've heard it's pretty exclusive- meaning famous and rich only- so security should be good.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Maybe the purple contacts *were* a bit much. I can admit that I sometimes *do* go overboard, but I like them. And I like to be different.

I guess I always was. I mean- I spent the first ten years of my life living in a different country. Then everything happened… and Dad took me and moved us back to the States. So when I was in Spain- I was the girl with the American father. And when my dad brought me here- I was the Spanish girl.

Funny thing was- I never really felt… *ashamed*. Moreover, I was proud of who I was. Who I am. And I like being able to choose my own style and mix and match clothes. If I wanna dress classy- I can do that. And if I wanna dress for a night of club hopping- I can do that too.

"Whatcha thinkin', Emmy?"

I frown at him. "Jason, I haven't been 'Emmy' since I was thirteen."

"Fine," he rolls his eyes at me, "Not in public, but you'll always be Emmy to me, *Em*."

"Just thinking about stuff- like what my life's gonna be like now. What with my inevitable stardom… don't let me get all snobby and bitchy. Okay? If I start getting hot headed, knock me down. Okay?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die," he swears, crossing his heart.

"I love you, you know that, right, Jase?"

"Yeah- I know. Right back atcha, Babe."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Yo- can I get a beer? Whatever's on tap is fine." I grab the mug and head back over to our booth.

"Did you see her?"

"Who?" I ask as I sit down.

"I think it was Halle Berry."

Wow! Halle Berry was here? "Nah- I didn't," I shrug. It's pretty early for New York and the club hasn't filled up too much. I did get a chance to chat with Carson.

The door opens and it's- "Hey, there's your lover, Em," Proof nudges my arm, but I just hit his hand.

"Shut up," I mutter, but seriously, isn't she the most beautiful… "Who's *that*?" I ask when this guy drapes his arm over her shoulder.

"Told ya, Dog. Girls like that? Taken."

The two link arms and head for the bar. "Maybe it's a brother," I suggest.

"Right- her *brother*," Proof says with a laugh.

"Shut up," I order him as I watch her down a shot of tequila. She really just has this presence about her. Ya know- some people just have it.

"Hey- *Marshall*," I turn toward Proof and look at him. "Man- you really have a thing for her- doncha?"

"What? No- I just think she's… attractive."

"No- you've got that look in your eye. Haven't seen that since- well, come to think of it- I don't think I've seen that look in your eye- except when Hailie's in the room."

"What are you talkin' about, Bitch?"

"Seriously, Em- if you like her then- I mean- forget what I said. Go over and say hello. She said she wants to meet you, so go over to her."

"Nah- I can't."

3
^*^*^*^*^*^

"So- whacha wanna do now, Em?"

I turn to my brother. "Drink… a lot."

"Now- would it be good for your public image if you got drunk?"

He's right. And I hate him for it. "It's gonna be an annoying rest of my life with you over my shoulder telling me how everything will affect my image."

"It's something you have to think about."

"Well- there are people with worse images than mine."

"I guess. Like Marilyn Manson or Eminem."

"Now- don't go there," I tell him, shoving his shoulder. "You know you love their music just like I do, so-"

"I know- I'm just saying-"

"Jase?" I ask and he looks at me. "Shut the fuck up." I hop off the bar stool.

"Where are you goin'?"

"To the bathroom. Or is that bad for my image?" I ask jokingly.

"I'll be here," he says.

"I know," I tell him before kissing him on the cheek and heading toward the bathroom.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Where you goin'?" Proof asks as I jump up.

"Goin' to get a drink," I tell him, but that's a lie and we both know it. I'ma go over to her companion and try and get information about who the fuck he is and why he's touchin' my girl.

I mean- not that she's my girl or anything, but- whatever.

"Mountain Dew," I tell the bartender as I stand not a foot away from the object of my current rage.

"Oh my god!" He says as he turns toward me. "You're-" he points to me and then tries to act cool. "I mean- sorry. You probably hate people that do that."

"Don't worry about it," I shrug. Okay, so he's not the evil person I was hoping he'd be. Yet.

"Nah- I just- I'm a huge fan… of hip hop in general. But, I love everything you come up with. And 8 Mile was off the hook! Probably the best movie I've seen in a while."

"Thanks," I say quietly before looking down as the bartender hands me my soda. "Who are you?" I ask. "I mean- ya know- exclusive club and all. You don't have a recognizable face." There- that didn't sound so bad. Did it?

"Oh- sorry," he says. "Jason Morgan." He sticks his hand out but I don't wanna touch it. He's not her brother.

"Marshall Mathers," I tell him, which is stupid, isn't it? He *obviously* knows me.

"Anyway- I'm here with a friend."

"A friend?"

"Well- the hottest girl here. Or so she tells me."

I hate him.

I hate him more than I hate… well… everybody I've ever dissed. More than my fuckin' mom.

"She'd love to meet you," he says. "She's… well- she's a big fan. Of yours."

"EM!" Proof yells as he runs over. "You might wanna… duck and cover."

"Wha-" I start to say before I see Mariah behind him, heading toward me. I swear- she's a fuckin' stalker. "'Scuse me," I tell 'Jason' before Proof grabs me and we head onto the dance floor to lose her.

-----------

We managed to lose her. Well- actually, I turned on her and told her what I *really* think of her, which is a lot worse than what I said in the interviews. And she cried and ran off. Okay- so I feel milding bad about that- but fuck. What the fuck does she want?

I look around and don't see 'Jason' at the bar.

I scan the dance floor and see her- what? "Who the fuck is that?" I ask Proof, pointing over to where she is 'grinding' again some blond guy.

"I think it's- isn't that the kid from Titanic?" Shit- that's who I thought it was too. "You should go over and cut in."

"Nah, let's just go."

"You're no fun tonight, Dog. Don't let one bitch get you down."

^*^*^*^*^*^

Ever get that feeling that someone is watching you? I feel Leo's hands moving down my hips as I turn around to see who's… looking… at…

Are his eyes not the most gorgeous eyes in the world?

"Thanks for the dance," I say quietly, and leave Leo on the dance floor. He's nice and asked if I'd like to dance, but- I didn't know Eminem was here.

Oh my god- as I walk toward him, my heart starts to race and I think I'm shaking. But… I'm taking the chance.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Shit. She's- she saw me and she's fuckin' comin' over here.

Oh my god- are my palms sweaty?

She's five feet away from me when I see 'Jason' making a bee-line for her. Fuck. I turn away quickly and head back to the table with Proof following me saying something, but I don't hear him.

^*^*^*^*^*^

What the hell?

"Guess who I just met, Emmy?!" Jase asks me eagerly.

"Huh?! What- who?"

"You're never gonna believe me!" He exclaims.

"Not not, Jase," I say, shrugging him off. What the hell- did fuckin' EMINEM just blow me off?

"NO. It won't wait- I met Eminem, Emma! Eminem! I shook his hand! I told him you'd wanna meet him, but he had to run off."

"He does that a lot," I whisper under my breath.

Fuck. I don't wanna miss this chance. I mean- he says himself: If you had one shot, one opportunity… THAT'S IT!

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Am I fuckin' stupid?" I ask but then glance at Proof and quickly add, "Don't answer that."

"I don't know why you fuckin' walked away."

"Her… *boyfriend* was heading for her- fast."

"Maybe he broke up with her?"

"Nah- it's just- not meant to be." What a fuckin' surprise! It was a nice dream while it lasted.

4
^*^*^*^*^*^

Okay- this is perfect.

Or really, *really* corny.

But- when in Rome.

I asked a favor of the DJ. I position myself at the bar, right in his line of view and stare at him as the song comes on.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I never get used to hearing myself in bars. Stran-

I glance at the bar and see her staring right at me. I stare at her lips as they say "Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment, would you capture it? Or just let it slip?"

Fuck- it's like she's saying it to me.

"Go fuckin' talk to her!" Proof orders as she pushes me out of the booth. Fuck. I guess here goes Rabbit.

^*^*^*^*^*^

YES! He's coming over here! Shit- there goes the butterflies! Fuck.

He's *right* *in* *front* of me. I can reach out and… fuckin' touch him!

"Hi," I say quietly.

"Hey," he responds and then looks down.

"Wanna dance?" I ask before taking his hand in mine. HOLY SHIT!

Oh my god- it's like-

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sparks. That's what it is when she takes my hand. She leads me out to the dance floor and if I cared, I'd wonder where her boyfriend is.

But her body starts moving and I don't think I've ever found my music this arousing… ever. She gets *so* close to me. Her body practically *makes* the beat. I don't think I've ever known a woman who can literally *become* the beat.

I'll be the first to admit- I'm no dancer. But she places her hands on my hips and- well, for starters I practically come- but she pulls me closer to her and moves me with her.

Fuck.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Holy fuckin' shit! He's *so* *close* to me right now.

And he's hard. I can feel his cock rubbing against me. And because I'm a masochist and feel like *torturing* myself- I grind against him more. Fuck. He slips his arms around me and I feel his hands on my ass, pulling me closer to him. Shit.

I lean in to his ear as the song winds down and whisper, "You can do anything you set your mind to, Man."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Okay- if *this* is the only thing 8 Mile ever gives me… I owe Curtis a debt of gratitude.

I actually wish I'd made that song longer. *Really* longer. Shit- another few minutes of that and I *would* have come.

She pulls away from me, reluctantly, and says, "I'm Emma."

"Marshall," I say- although I'm not sure my voice actually worked there.

"I- uh-"

^*^*^*^*^*^

Well- now this is just awkward.

"Hm… thanks for the uh- the dance," I say and he looks up at me. God- those eyes! I could *melt* in those eyes.

"You call that a dance?" He says with a smile. Shit- that smile… I am *so* yours, if you want me.

"Well- what would *you* call it?" I ask him with a smirk.

"Near-porn?" He offers and I laugh and say, "Maybe a little. You complaining?"

"Hell no!" He answers and we both sigh.

"Emma!" Jason calls as he locates me on the floor.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Oh shit. Here it comes. Fuck, she's beautiful.

He comes over and touches her arm. I shouldn't be jealous. But-

"So- Jason tells me he already met you?" She asks.

"Yeah-" I grunt. I don't wanna do this no more.

"I still can't believe my own *brother* would go behind my back and talk to you first, can you believe his nerve?" She says with mock anger. It's like-

Hold ON a fuckin' minute! "Brother?" I question. "*Brother*? But- you got different last names."

"Oh- yeah- my parents weren't married when I was born, so mom gave me *her* last name," he tells me.

She turns to me and says, "Why would you-"

^*^*^*^*^*^

OH! He thought- "You thought Jason was my boyfriend?" He's so cute when he blushes. "That's why you walked away?" He nods and looks away. God- he's actually *shy*. "No- Jase, here, is my bodyguard and official manager type person. He's been taking care of the business stuff since all this happened."

"Oh- that's nice. Family- someone you can trust and all. Smart idea."

"Well- he won't let me do it any other way, because he likes to be a pain in the ass!"

"You two wanna come sit at our table?"

"Yeah, I would," I say and me and JJ follow him over.

"This is my friend Proof, Proof- Emma."

"Hey- please to meecha," I say as I sit down next to Marshall. Fuck- I was *flirting* with him and *touching* him and now I'm *sitting* next to him. "Oh my god- let me just get this out of the way now and be a dork," I say.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I turn to look at her and she says, "I just- I *love* you- I mean- I'm a *huge* fan. I love the music, the lyrics are amazing, the beats are incredible. Love the D12 album- the best songs are the nastiest. The movie was fuckin' incredible and the soundtrack is better. There. I said it- shoot me now."

"It's okay. I don't mind it so much…" I say before leaning toward her and adding, "from you."

"Shit- you smell good…" I look at her startled. "Oh fuck- I said that outloud, didn't I?" She asks and her brother starts to laugh. "Shut up!" She screams and kicks him under the table.

"OW, BITCH! That fuckin' hurt!"

"It was supposed to, you moron!" She fires back. She looks hot when she's angry.

^*^*^*^*^*^

I can *not* believe I said that outloud! I mean- it's *true*, but- still.

"So- you're gonna be on SNL this week?" I ask him. That's a good plan. Change the subject.

5
~*~*~*~*~*~
-----------

"Really?" I ask her.

"Yeah- can you believe that?" She was just telling me when she first knew she was gonna be famous.

"That's young."

"My first memory," she says and places her hand on my thigh. "I mean, my father hated it, but my grandmother always liked to encourage my behavior."

And all I can think is that her *hand* is on my thigh.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Oh my god- my hand is on his *thigh*.

Okay- keep talking, make it seem natural. "What about you? I mean- I have my first songs on tape- ones when my grandmother is playing the piano and I'm just singing and making up the words. Do you have things like that? Of when you were younger?"

"Well- I've got videos of freestyles I did. But nuthin' from when I was really young. I've got Hailie on tape though- jumpin' around… actually… I've got her dancin' to *your* music."

"Really?" I ask. That's so cute.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Wow- she looks so excited about that. "Yeah- she loves the CD. Didn't see the movie though…"

"Well- obviously. I'd be worried if you took her to see that. It's too scary for little kids."

"Do you like kids?" I ask her hesitantly. If I'ma start something- I have to consider Hailie first.

"Oh my god, are you kidding? Jason's got two kids, and I have an older sister with three kids. We're actually planning on goin' home for Christmas. It'll be the first time we'll all be together in a few years."

"That's nice- big family Christmas…"

"Well," oh my god- she's *rubbing* my thigh with her hand- "I'm lucky to have people I can count on. My brother, my sister, my dad…"

"And your mom?"

"My mother?" She asks and she looks sad. I can relate to that. "Is out of my life."

"Guess we have that in common?"

"I guess so," she says.

I glance at my watch and- "Fuck. It's three already?!" Shit- I gotta be up in the morning for a soundcheck or some shit.

"Emmy," Jason says as he comes back to sit down. "You just about ready?"

"Huh? We don't have to leave yet, Jase."

"Em- it's three o'clock and you have a photo shoot tomorrow, or should I say, this morning?"

"Fuck- you're right," she looks over at me with a frown. "Guess I gotta go."

"Me too," I tell her. Unfortunately- this has been one of the nicest nights I've had in a while.

"Just lemme go pee first," she tells him and slips out of the booth.

Her brother just stares at me. "What?" I ask him. I hate when people just *look* at me like that.

"I love the music," he says as he leans toward me. "I know the difference between reality and fantasy. I don't believe you're actually a rapist or shit like that- however… that's my *sister*. She's been hurt in the past- a lot. And I'm not gonna stand by while someone hurts her again - no matter *who* it is."

"I respect that," I tell him. After all- I'ma say the same thing to Hailie's boyfriends. God- she's gonna have boyfriends!

"You have a daughter, who I believe you put first. And that's fine, but if in the end, you're serious about not gettin' married again- then be honest. Don't lead Emma on, or else-"

"You'll kill me?" I ask.

"Maybe," he says with a smirk.

^*^*^*^*^*^

"Okay- I'm ready, JJ," I say as I wrap my arms around him. I grab his cheeks and tease, "Are you playing nice with the other boys?" I laugh and add, "He never played well with others as a child. It was sad."

Marshall laughs and says, "yeah- he tried to throw down wit' me, but-"

"Ha, ha. I'll go get a cab." Jase says as he heads toward the door.

"I can give you a ride, if you want-" Marshall says, standing up.

"No- it's okay. I love riding in cabs-"

"Not gonna do that much more if you keep makin' records."

"I guess that's a price I'll have to pay."

"Yeah… well-"

"I had a *really* great time tonight, Marshall," I tell him.

"Me too," he admits. "'Specially the dance," he adds with a smirk. Fuck- he's so hot.

"Yeah," I agree and step closer to him. He opens his arms and pulls me close to him in a friendly hug and- fuck.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Her arms feel really good around me. It's been *way* too long since I've actually felt *happy* with a woman, like it could actually *be* something.

Now- I don't wanna sound like a dick- but… it's one of those *long* hugs- like between two people that haven't seen in each other in a while- or like two lovers in a movie or some shit. And she feels *really* nice pressed against me like this.

I slide my hands down her back to where her shirt stops and I just graze my fingers along her bare spine. She inhales sharply and tightens her arms around me.

I can't resist- I place a single kiss on her neck, a bit under her ear.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Shit. His lips felt *so* good on my neck, his fingers on my back… fuck.

I inhale deeply and he smells *so* good. I can't describe it- he just smells… masculine and… delicious. I could get drunk on it.

Reluctantly, I pull away when I see Jason wave at me from the door and point at his watch.

I kiss his cheek softly- my lips lingering near his lips for a second before I pull away completely. "I had… a *really* great time tonight," I say.

"Me too, me too. You uh- wanna get together again? Dunno what the hell I'm doin' half the time- but if you call when I'm with Marc, I can find a time… we could have dinner or something."

"I'd like that," I say. "Got a pen?"

"Huh?"

"I'll give you my number?"

"Oh- nah, I don't."

I smile and pull his hand toward me. I flip his arm over and run my finger up his tattoo… Hailie Jade.

Then, I take my index finger and wipe some of my lipstick off and use it to write my number on his arm.

"Don't lose it," I say as I walk away.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Fuck- I won't.

^*^*^*^*^*^

"You did it, didn't you?" Jase asks me on our way back to the hotel.

"What?"

"You *know* what."

"Yeah," I admit, "I did. I smelled him."

"And?"

"OH my god, Jason! It was like… being home. In his arms… and his scent…"

"You're a strange woman, Em."

"Whatever- leave me alone. You know guys smell *us* too!"

"You really like him, huh?"

"I mean- I did *before*… you *know* I liked him… but now that I *know* him? It's… amazing. Like- he's not at all what I thought he'd be- he's so much better. Ya know?"

"Yeah- I can understand that. So… what next?"

"He asked if I wanted to have dinner or something sometime. I gave him my number. Ball's in his court."

The cab stops and we hop out and head into the hotel. "Jase?" I ask, once we're in the elevator.

"Hm? What?"

"What did you say to him?"

"Huh?"

"Don't play stupid- what did you say to him when I was in the bathroom?"

"Just told him that you're my sister and if he hurts you, I'll kill him."

"Come on, seriously," I whine.

"I just told him that I don't think he's a thug or whatever, but that you've been hurt in the past and if he's serious about not wanting a relationship again, then he shouldn't string you along."

"Okay." I'll drop it. He's just being my big brother.

~*~*~*~*~*~

This is bad. I'll be the first to admit it. But… I'm dialing her number anyway.

<"Hello?"> She answers the phone.

"Hey- it's… Marshall. I just- forgot to say good night."

She laughs a little, <"I forgive you- just this once. Where are you calling from?">

"The limo. What about you? Where you at?" She doesn't say anything for a minute. "Ya there?"

<"Yeah- I'm… in bed.">

Fuck. "Yeah? Whacha wearin'?" I have no idea why I asked. Well- that's a fuckin' lie. I *know* why.

<"Why Marshall Mathers- are you gettin' fresh with me?">

"Maybe…"

^*^*^*^*^*^

I smile and bit my lower lip before answering, "Black lace panties and a bra to match."

I hear him swallow, <"Really?">

"No," I say. "I actually sleep naked."

<"You're lying.">

"Maybe," I say. "But wouldn't you love to know?"

<"Shit- yeah, I would.">

"Play your cards right and…" I just let it hang there for a second before saying, "Goodnight, Marshall."

<"Night, Emma.">

I put my phone on the nightstand and giggle. Yes- I actually giggle that little girl giggle. Shit- it's hopeless. *I'm* hopeless.

I pull the covers up over my naked form and close my eyes.

6
----------------------

Shit, it's been an exhausting day! "Jason- remind me next time I've got a photo shoot to cancel it," I say. Fuck- not that I didn't have fun- but it's tiring. And then three interviews on top of that?

"That's what you get for being famous."

"'Mnot famous *yet*, Jase. 'M just noticed."

"Well- you're gonna be noticed a lot more as you go on in your career. So get used to it. This whole fame thing is just startin'."

"I'm too old for this shit," I sigh.

"Old? You're 25!"

"You're right. I'm *really* old for this shit."

"Oh- stop yer whining, ya big baby!"

OH MY GOD! I jump up at the sound of my sister's voice. "SARAH!!!! OH MY GOD! When did you get in?!" She pulls me into a hug. "You didn't tell me you were coming!"

"I know- surprise!"

"But- you weren't suppose to be here for another couple weeks!"

"I know- but Mark stayed home. The kids are in my room with the nanny right now. I figured if the kids miss a few days of school- who cares? It's just second grade and kindergarten, not like it's calculus!"

"Oh god- I'm *so* happy to see you!" Wow- I haven't seen my sister in a few months because I've been busy and she can't just leave the kids. "This is so great!"

"Yeah- well. If you're going to the Harry Potter 2 premiere, there's no *way* the kids and I aren't gonna come too!"

"Ah! You're comin' to L.A. with me?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay, Em- let's go over the schedule. Also- would you sit down with someone from the New York Times while we're here?"

"What the fuck do *they* want?" I ask Marc.

"An interview, dumb ass. The movie made $54 million dollars it's first weekend- they wanna sit down with you."

"Yeah- sure. I guess. Whatever." Man- I can't think about this shit *now*. All day long and all I could really (or all I really *wanted*) to think about was her. I gotta call her.

"Okay-"

"When do I have a free night?" I ask, cutting him off.

"What?"

"I wanna go out on a date. When do I have a free night?"

"What?" He asks again, stunned. I usually don't *ask* him this shit. 'Course, I haven't been on many dates lately. Shit with Mariah and Brit really screwed me over.

"A date. I wanna have one. When I do have a free night?"

"Um… who are you gonna-"

"Emma Jenson."

"Emma Jenson?"

"Yeah- the chic from that movie the Singer… Emma."

"Uh- how you gonna get a date with *her*?"

"I'ma call her. Look- I met her last night and I wanna take her out for dinner or somethin'. When do I have a free night?"

It's not complicated, I don't think.

"Isn't she a little…"

"A little what?" I challenge, looking up from the couch.

"Well- she just *seems* sort of… out there. I mean- she was barely dressed at the premiere. I don't think J.Lo. could show more skin."

"So?"

"Just doesn't seem like your type is all."

"Fuck that." What- is it gonna be a huge problem if I date her? I'ma be plastered all over the Enquirer anyways- might as well enjoy myself.

^*^*^*^*^*^

"Phone's ringing!" Sarah says, banging on the door.

"Just get it- I'm still in the shower!" I tell her. Just gotta rinse this shampoo outta my hair.

~*~*~*~*~*~

<"Hello?">

"Whacha wearin' *now*?" I ask before realizing that it didn't sound *exactly* like her.

<"Excuse me?">

"Shit- I'm sorry. I thought you were- is this the right number? I'm lookin' for Emma."

<"Who *is* this?"> The woman demands. She sounds mean.

"Sorry- I apologize. This is- Marshall. Is Emma there?"

<"Hang on, she's in the shower.">

The shower?!

^*^*^*^*^*^

"Yo, Emma! Some asshole on the phone for you."

I open the door after wrapping a towel around my body. "Asshole?"

"Says it's Marshall?" She asks, handing me the phone.

Ah! It's him! I grab the phone, "Hello?" I ask, sounding a little more teen than I'd like.

<"Hey, Emma. How's it goin'? Who was that?">

"My sister- she surprised me today."

<"Oh shit- tell her I'm sorry. I thought it was you and asked her what she was wearin'.">

HA! I burst out laughing, but Sarah is just sitting, staring at me angrily. "Sorry- okay. Will do. What up?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

This is just great. The best first impression to make on her sister.

<"Wanted to know if you wanted to get a bite tonight.">

"Oh- I'm sorry. I'm busy. What about tomorrow?"

<"I've got a thing. Friday?">

"I'm flying back to L.A. Friday morning."

<"Oh."> Damn. Fuck.

"Breakfast instead of dinner? Maybe tomorrow?"

<"Interviews. I guess it's just not gonna work out this week.">

"Fuck. I guess not. Whacha doin' now?"

<"Got a thing- this morning.">

"OH- what about lunch today?"

<"That might work- hang on a minute.">

^*^*^*^*^*^

I wait a minute and start pawing through my closet for something to wear. We're taking the kids to F.A.O. Schwartz and then to the Broadway Joe Steakhouse for lunch.

<"I think I can do that. When?">

"Probably noonish. But uh- there's a catch- you'll have to deal with my nephew and nieces. We're taking them shopping this morning and then to lunch. Is that okay?"

<"Yeah- it'll have to be. I'll try and smooth things over with your sister.">

I laugh a bit, "Probably a good idea. So- I'll see you at Broadway Joe's at noon, then?"

<"Yeah- see you then.">

"'Kay. Bye."

<"Bye.">

7
-----------

"Miss Jenson- please come right this way. We were so pleased to hear you'd be coming here today!" Oh I love how waiter's bullshit for tips.

"Yeah, well- I heard this is a good place to eat."

"And it is!" He says as he places the menu's on the table.

"Okay- sit down, Guys," Sarah tells Jack and Mary. The waiter brings over a high chair for Maddie.

It's been so nice spending the day with them. We bought the kids a few new toys and some cute pj's for Maddie.

"Come here, Maddie," I say and take the baby from my sister. She's seven months old. "Yeah- come see Emmy," I coo and she grabs my earring and pulls on my ear. "Ah- no, no, Sweetie." She's a grabby little kid. "Here- talk to Molly." I hand her her favorite stuffed animal- a small blue hippo.

"Okay- Jack, what do you want to eat?"

"Macaroni and cheese."

"No- you can have a hamburger or pizza."

"I want macaroni and cheese too, Mama," Mary says.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Okay- here goes. I walk over to the table. "Hi," I say. She stands up and gives me a small hug with the baby in her other arm.

"Hey! Marshall- this is my sister Sarah, Sarah, Marshall."

"I'm the real Slim Shady!" The little boy says as he looks up at me.

"No- *I'm* the real Slim Shady," I tell him.

"No!" He says. "I'm the-"

"Jack! Be quiet," her sister snaps. Fuck- I can already tell she hates me.

"Sarah- he's just-"

"Drop it, Emmy," Sarah says.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Of course, my sister *would* make it really *hard* on me. "Please- sit down. We haven't ordered yet."

"Cool, so who's this?" I ask, gently touching the baby's hand.

"*This* is my niece, Madeline. And that's Jack and Mary."

"Hey, Jack. Mary- nice to meecha."

Jack smiles and says, "Call me 'Slim'." Oh god- the look Sarah gives him, then me… well, if looks could kill.

"Jack- why don't you read the menu and decide what you want. Okay?" I suggest and he nods and does so.

I turn to Marshall who's playing with Molly. Maddie laughs a bit and I can't help but watch him. He's good with kids. I knew he'd have to be… from what I've heard- he's a great father.

"Here- give her here, Emmy. I'm gonna go change her before we order."

"Okay, Sarita."

"Does she not like me?" He asks me quietly once she's gone.

Oh god- shall I tell him of the fight we had after his phone call this morning? It basically went like- 'He's a terrible person- look at what he stands for and what he says. Do you *want* that association when you've just come out on top? IS *that* how you wanna commit career suicide? Through a public scandal with a woman hater and drug addict?'

"Um- she… uh… one of those people who believes only what she hears or reads. Ya know?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Lemme guess- thug, drug addict, rapist, murderer?"

"Basically," she rolls her eyes. "She's just- protective. More of a the country gal rather than the hip hop and rock. Jase and I are *still* tryin' to figure out where *that* musical taste came from."

I laugh a bit, but- "Well, is it gonna be a problem? I mean- what do you think about that? What do *you* believe?"

"I believe," I feel her hand on mine, under the table (where the kids can't see), "That you haven't said or done *anything* to make me think you're anything but a wonderful, kind person. I believe in my ability to tell what's real and what is entertainment. And I believe I'm old enough to make my own decisions. And if she can't accept that I'm not her baby sister anymore, I believe she can go to Hell."

Wow. That was… well put.

"Well- that was well put, *Sis*." Oh shit. Will I *stop* this poor timing of mine?

^*^*^*^*^*^

"Sarah!" But her look says it all. "You wouldn't be so upset if you didn't believe what I said."

"I think me and the kids are gonna go. You can have your… *lunch* and meet us back at the hotel."

"Sarah- don't," I grab her hand as she starts to pack the baby's stuff.

"No- this is…" Marshall says. "You stay. I'll go. I shouldn't… intrude on your family stuff. I'ma go." He stands up and I can't believe what a disaster this is!

"Maybe you should," Sarah tells him.

"SARAH!" I can't believe she'd do this to me.

He turns to me and says, "I'm sorry- I'll… catch up to you some time." And then he walks away.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Motherfucking piece of shit! I kick the door on my way the restaurant and head back to the limo. God dammit!

Her sister fuckin' *hates* me and she don't even fuckin' *know* me!

"Marshall!"

Fuck- how the fuck am I supposed to- "Em!"

I stop and realize that she's calling me. I turn and see her running up to me. "This is a mistake," I tell her. "It's… stupid and dumb. You sure as fuck don't need this shit. Fuckin' stupid to even think that we could-"

And suddenly I can't really talk because she's got her lips on mine and her hands in mine and we're kissing. And I sure as fuck can't rage when I'm kissing her.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Shit. We're *kissing*. Nothing *major*, but my lips, his lips, our hands together.

I open my mouth just a little and kiss his bottom lip softly before pulling away from that incredible mouth.

"It's *not* stupid," I whisper before pressing a chaste kiss on his lips. "And I don't think it's a mistake," I inform him. "I feel it- inside… I believe…"

"What? What do you believe?" He asks me, his lips so close to mind.

"I believe… it's just the beginning," I whisper against his lips and then I step back. "Probably won't see you for a while. But- you can call me?"

"Yeah. I will," he says and then I go back inside to deal with my *sister*.

8
-----------
Publicity nightmare.

That's the first thing that my publicist Joan said to me when I spoke with her Thursday morning.

And that's what it became. Is.

You were seen climbing out of Eminem's limo- is there a relationship? Are you screwing Eminem? Did you propose a physical relationship? Rumor has it you were giving him oral sex when discovered in his limo in New York… Sources say you were seen dancing together, closely, and then appeared in his limo the next day… How does it feel to be controversial rapper Eminem's girl? Are there plans to get married? What do you make of his statements that he has no interest in any girl other than for recreational purposes? Do you think he just likes younger girls?

That's *all* I heard from reporters at the Harry Potter premiere. That's all Joan has been hearing. Stupid, it was, going out like that- in the middle of New York City.

And of course, I heard a mouthful from Sarah about the kind of reputation this could bring me.

"You're telling me you don't make room for the possibility that what you've heard is wrong?" I *know* we've been over this about twenty times since we got here, but she's just so closed minded. I'll admit, bringing it up on the plan on the way to L.A. was a bad idea, but it's on my mind. A lot.

"I'm not gonna go over this once more with you, Em. Can't you just drop it?"

"No, I can't, Sarah," I say to her. "I can't and ya wanna know why? Because I *like* him… because we might actually be able to *have* something… special. Because he's the first male I haven't… who hasn't done one thing wrong."

"Not one thing wrong?!" Of course, she'd jump on that. "Not one thing? What about pistol whipping some guy?! What about doing drugs?! Huh?! What about promoting kids to kill their girlfriends?! Not one thing wrong my ASS, Emmy. And you're blind if you think that-"

"NO! Sarah, I am NOT *BLIND*. YOU are!" God… every time I try and talk to her about this…

"Emmy- I just… don't want you setting yourself up for another Scott."

"Do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to do that?" I ask quietly.

"Maybe not." She sits down next to me on the couch and says, "But I saw what you did to yourself… and I know how excited you get… how you set yourself up… And I don't wanna have to pick up the pieces again."

I turn toward her and sit Indian-style before saying, "Sarah- it's not like that. I… I don't know how I know. I just know. This time… it's different. Just… trust me."

"I do, Sweetie," she whispers before pulling me toward her. "I don't trust *him*."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"DADDY!!!!!"

"Hai-Hai! Come here!" She runs into my arms and is there anything greater in the world than that?

Another long week over and now I've got time off! Not much- but a couple weeks.

"How was it?" Kim asks as I carry Hailie inside.

"My stuff's all ready to go, Daddy!"

"Okay, great, Baby. Why don't you go and make sure you didn't forget anything."

"'Kay!" She runs back to her bedroom and I sit down at Kim's table.

"It was good. Busy, but good, I guess."

"I let her stay up and watch SNL. She laughed the whole time- it was great."

"Really?"

"Yeah- I'm not sure she understood the jokes and stuff, but she was so excited about it. She talked about it all weekend how you were gonna be on TV."

This is nice… being in the same room with her and not hating her. The tension that used to be between us is gone.

I still don't know what I'ma do about Emma. I haven't called her since the lunch thing. I was just gonna let things chill, but then I got busy… I don't know. It's only been four days. Maybe I'll call tonight.

"Ya know, Marshall…" here it comes. I've been wondering when she'd bring it up. "I've tried to keep her from the rumors- I mean… she doesn't know about the cases and probation and shit. But- kids talk… in schools, on the bus."

"I know, I know," I agree with her. That stupid kiss- and paparazzi and shit- they've got us honeymooning in Hawaii already.

"What's true? You should tell Hailie something."

"She's just a friend."

"A friend?!" Kim asks and I look at her. " 'Sit serious?" She asks me.

"DAAAAddy! I'm rEAdy!"

"Okay, Hai-Hai. Let's go!" I pick her up and glance back at Kim. "I'll say something."

"Okay."

^*^*^*^*^*^
-----------

It's been a week. One. Week. And no call.

One fucking week!

And the rumors… they keep getting better. We're having a lover's spat over his smooching with Mariah the night of our 'secret' date. I'm jealous over his devotion to his daughter and decided to pack up my pussy and leave until he gets *my* name tattooed on him. It's crazy- we just met a week ago and we're already engaged, according to some reporters. It's a 'scandal'. Ironically- my record sales are up. And over the weekend, our movie sales jumped as well. Not as much- because of Harry Potter, but- enough to be noticed.

"Gimme a hug," I tell Mary. "I'll see you in two weeks."

"Two weeks for turkey!" She says eagerly.

"Two weeks for turkey. That's right." She leaps into my arms and I give her a big hug before putting her down. "Okay, you two be good for Mommy on the plane. 'Kay?"

They nod. "'Kay- comere you," I say and Sarah and I hug again. "So you'll call me once you're home?"

"Will do. You'll think about what I said?"

"Yeah." Pretty much a guarantee. I probably won't think about anything else.

"'Kay. I love you, you know that right?"

"Love you too, Sarita. Bye. Safe trip."

I watch her and the kids walk down the hallway and then they're gone from site, onto the airplane.

-----------

I sink into the tub and *this* is the life. Hot, hot bubble bath, candles, calm music (for a change), and nothing but me. Granted, I'd probably enjoy this more *with* someone (a certain someone) but I can't have that now.

Shit, it's been a few weeks since I've had some time to myself. Now, I'm gonna just relax a bit. I've got a few new poems and I wanna do something different with them. Not just the same sound. I hate people who's cd's sound all the other ones previous. Ya gotta evolve and change.

<Ring. Ring> Shit. I reach out of the tub and grab the phone. That'll be Sarah, letting me know she's home with the kids. They must have actually left the airport on *time*, which must be the first time in history a plane has left when it was supposed to.

"Hey! Home already?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

<"Home already?">

"Daddy! Look what I did!" Shit. Hailie comes in and I hang the phone up.

I can't do this when Hailie's here. Not yet.

^*^*^*^*^*^

<Click>

Strange. Thought I heard Mary's voice… or a little kid. Maybe Sarah got cut off.

9
-----------
~*~*~*~*~*~

"So am I goin' or not, Dog?"

I glance at my brother, who's looking at me expectantly. He don't wanna have to spend the holiday with mom. Who would?

"Dunno. Why donchu call her?"

"Why would I do that?"

"To find out if you gotta go or not."

"What if I just ignore it?" He asks.

Fuck- I don't wanna be thinkin' about this *now*. "Do what the fuck you want, Man."

"Why don't you *CALL* her?!" He practically screams at me.

"Huh? Who? Mom?! I'm not gonna-"

"NO. Emma. Just call her."

"It's… two weeks. Been too long. 'Sides, she's got her own thing and-"

"Blah blah blah. Screw the rumors, fuck the scandal. If you want her- then get her. If you don't stop bein' miserable, I'ma call her FOR you."

^*^*^*^*^*^

"Hey, Daddy!" It's *good* to be home. Schenectady, New York. Not the most glamorous of places- but it's home.

"My Baby!" I crash into his arms and forget about my bags in the rental car as we go inside the house. "How's my baby?"

"I'm good, Dad. As good as I *can* be. I brought a few more poems, I've got a few melodies picked out but I can't seem to match them. It's… annoying."

"You'll work it out, Emmy. Listen, Jason- he, uh… told me about New York- ya know, who you met and-"

"Let's not. I don't wanna hear it from you too." I don't wanna *think* about him. I do. But I don't *want* to.

It's been two weeks. *Two* weeks. And I don't have *his* phone number. But if he hasn't called me, then… what do I need *his* phone number for?!

My dad pulls me into his arms and says, "Ya know what, Baby? You remember when you were six, and you said you wanted to start speaking English with me all the time? Not just in the house?"

"Yeah- but Mom was mad. She didn't want me speaking English in public, 'cause she didn't wanna raise me like that. She wanted a Spanish princess."

"And the teachers at school all said that you should speak the language you live in?"

"Yeah- but I still wanted to practice my English all the time."

"And do you remember what I told you, Emmy?" I nod. "What did I tell you?"

"You said to never stop something because it's what everyone *else* wants."

"And?"

"*And* you said that I only stop something when it's what *I* want."

"*And*?"

"*And*… you told me to never give up on something- that if I want it bad enough, I'll make a way."

"And that's what you have to decide, Hon. If you want it bad enough- you need to find a way. And don't think about what Sarah or the public has to say. Only think about what you have in your heart."

"Thanks, Daddy." We sit down on the couch next to each other and I'll never be able to get over how comforting these arms have been to me.

People think I'm strange when I tell them how close I am with my family. My older siblings and father. But- they're the ones who helped me when I couldn't help myself. My dad's the one who made me feel safe when I didn't even understand the concept.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, Baby?"

"What do *you* think?"

"*I* think… that anyone who can make you smile and laugh and keep you laughing and smiling and happy is all that I can ever want for you. And I think I raised you to know the difference."

"I didn't… know. With-"

"He was a different story all together, now hush. Don't think of him again. Ever. He's in the past. You need to move on and stop being so scared of the future."

"I close my eyes, Daddy, and all I used to see was *him*, haunting me, coming into my room… at night-"

"Shhh, be quiet," my dad whispers.

"But now, I close my eyes and I can see Marshall, Dad. I can see him and it makes me happy."

"Then make it happen. Make it happen."

Make it happen, huh?

Okay, then. I will.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Not too shabby, huh?" I ask as I throw down my fork.

"Turkey's a little dry, Daddy," Hailie says with a laugh.

"Dry, huh? Dry says the small fry, but I can see her flinch an eye, like she's tellin' a lie- like she was told by a fly to lie 'bout the dry…"

She laughs and I'd give anything to see her laugh *forever*. "But I didn't say lies, Daddy. Just started to cry 'cause the turkey's *SO* dry!" She finishes off the rhyme with a loud laugh and then takes off for parts unknown.

"I'ma get you, ya little liar!" I scream and tear after her. I'm running back to her room where's she screaming for someone to save her from me, when the phone rings.

<Ring. Ring.>

"Hailie- I'ma get the phone, Baby!" I call to her and sit down on my bed and pick up the phone. "Hello?"

<"Happy Thanksgiving."> IT'S HER! <"I uh- hadda fuck someone at Interscope, but I got your phone number.">

"Huh?"

<"Sorry. Small joke- whatever. Look, I know you didn't call. But- it's been two weeks and that's unacceptable.">

"Emma- I'm-"

<"No. It's- it's fine. I just- I can't stop thinking about you.">

"I know the feeling," I confess. Just then, Hailie comes in.

"Daddy! Mommy says that we gotta go! I don't *wanna* go!"

"Hailie, Baby, Daddy's on the phone."

<"Marshall- you should- go. If you have to. I didn't mean to call *today* but-">

"When can I see you?"

<"Free this weekend? I'm at my Dad's now- in New York. But I'm heading out Saturday- I could change my flight… stop in Detriot instead of L.A.? If you wanted that is-">

"Yeah. I want. Very much."

<"Okay. I'll call you then.">

"Okay."

10
-----------
~*~*~*~*~*~

<"We have to say something about it.">

"Like what?" I ask Paul.

<"We have to make a statement- say it's false, or something.">

"So? Let people think what they wanna think. They gonna anyway."

<"Em- I'm tellin' you how it is- you've gotta say something. Silence'll only make it worse- for both of you.">

"I don't talk. Don't say anything. We have no official comment- unless she wants to say something."

<"Well- is it going somewhere?">

"Dunno," I shrug. "Hope so."

<"Keep me posted.">

"'Kay. Bye."

Now- I gotta call her and set it up for tonight.

^*^*^*^*^*^

<Ring. Ring>

"Hello?" I answer my cell. Damn, I hate planes, which is funny since I've flown so much.

<"Hi there.">

"HEY!" Well- this will make it infinitely better. "I was thinkin' about you."

<"Yeah? Good I hope.">

"Sort of," I smile. "I was reading all about how I'm your love bunny- hiding in your limos so as not to be seen by your friends."

<"Sorry about that.">

"Why? Not your fault."

<"How was your thanksgiving?">

"Really nice. Got my daily dose of kid in- spoiled them and got Christmas gift lists for everyone too- so I'll have to go shopping some time. Maybe the Mall of America. Ain't that out this way?"

<"Yeah," he sighs.>

I recline my seat back a bit and pull my legs up underneath me. "What about you? Thanksgiving good?"

<"Very nice, despite the apparent dry-quality of my turkey.">

"Did you do a big family thing? Or was it just you and Hailie?"

<"Actually- we had a few cousins, my little brother, Hai-Hai, my aunt and uncle… Kim and her baby.">

"Sounds fun."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Did she not hear me when I said my ex-wife was here for Thanksgiving? Fuck, I'm not used to this- a woman *not* being bitterly jealous of Kim or Hai-Hai?

"Yeah- we didn't wanna juggle Hailie between two houses, so she just came here."

<"She must have been thrilled! I always love a house with lots of people."> She really isn't gonna make it an issue.

"Listen- I just wanted to apologize for not calling before-"

<"But you did. Didn't you?">

She knew it was me? "You knew it was me?"

<"I figured it out. Why'd you hang up?">

"There's a lot going on- in my life. I'm sure you get that. But- with Hailie in the house… I just don't wanna get her… attached to anyone- ya know? I wanna keep her from some of the not so pleasant parts of fame."

<"Like… oh- say this article here? Headline: Eminem finds himself a new whore?">

"Where was that at?"

<"Star.">

"I'm sorry- that's exactly what I'm talkin' 'bout."

<"Let's not talk about it- we still gonna get together?">

"Yeah- I'd like to. I've got… Gilbert's Lodge- I used to work there and it'll be private. No cameras and shit- so… say 7 tonight?"

<"Seven tonight- sounds perfect. Is it dressy?">

"Yeah- let's say yes."

<"Okay. I'll break out the diamonds and rubies!">

"Not *that* fancy."

<"See you later," she says with a laugh that is really infectious.>

"Bye."

11
-----------
~*~*~*~*~*~

I shouldn't be this fuckin' excited about this. But she's in town and I thought Gilbert's was as good as a place as any to meet. And they always make sure I get a private table and good service.

"Thanks, Man, I really appreciate it." I tell my old boss.

"Any time, Marshall. You know we love ya here."

Yeah- I think the big poster of me in the lobby tells it all. But as soon as I had some time, after I dropped my second album, I came back and thanked him for all the schedule changes he did for me so I could make it to the battles and shit.

They reserved the party room for me and it looks great. I asked for candles and they certainly did that. Some flower bouquets and shit and it's an actual *date*.

I sit down in the waiting area to wait for her. Man, how many times was I waitin' for Kim to get her ass over here to pick me up from work? Seems like a lifetime ago.

I see her hop out of the car and her brother waves at me through the windows. I open the front door for her and she comes in. And wow!

"Hey," I tell her, but can barely form a thought. She's got an elegant, sleek, black dress on, with an open back. And those gorgeous legs? The short dress and heels really show them off. Her hair is swept up in a twist, with a few ringlets around her face.

"You look… *amazing*."

"Thank you," she says. "Qué guay!" She says as we hug quickly and she kisses me lightly on the cheeks, which I've heard is a latin thing.

"Huh?" And was it wrong that hearing her say something in Spanish was completely erotic?

"I just said how cool! This place is really great! And you don't look half bad yourself." When I called to tell her where we'd meet- I decided I'd do it up a bit, as an apology for blowing her off. I've got black slacks on and a navy blue dress shirt.

"Yeah, thanks. I used to be a cook here."

"Really? You can cook?"

"Well- there's a difference between doin' it in a restaurant and doin' it at home."

"I suppose, though I wouldn't really know. I waitressed a bit, but never cooked."

"We'll be dining back here, Ma'am," I say in my British accent.

"Mmm… gotta love a man with an accent."

"Oh yeah?"

^*^*^*^*^*^

Wow. That's all I can really say. This is- "This is amazing… so beautiful."

"Well- I've got connections here. I know the manager. It's nice 'cause he'll gimme this room any time I want it. Private and secluded… and great service."

"It's really beautiful, Marshall," I tell him. "It's… not what I was expecting."

"When you called… said you'd made it- I thought it'd be nice to have an official date."

"That what this is?" He pulls the chair out for me and I sit down. "An official date?"

" 'Fyou want it to be."

"I want." Yes, Marshall Mathers, I want very much.

"So- a man with an accent, huh? I don't got one of those."

"Sure you do," I say with a smile. And have I mentioned how delicious he looks by candle light? I just wanna… lick him. He's a little scruffy- like he didn't shave this morning. I *love* that look- rugged. I wanna lick his face. Man, I'm so twisted.

"No I don't."

"Well, you don't speak Spanish, which is what I spent the first eight years of my life on- so to me, every freakin' American has a damn accent. And it's certainly not Albany talk."

"Albany talk?"

"Yeah- fuck, even in New York State, there are different accents… Buffalo, New York City, Albany… it's really fascinating."

"That what you like?" He asks me as he hands me the menu. "Language stuff?"

"Yeah- it's all very fascinating to me. I guess you can chalk that up to my love of poetry and words… you probably feel the same way, huh? Lyrics- rhymes, I mean- are glorified poems. All songs are, if they're done right."

"Guess I never thought about accents and shit."

"You pay attention when you're trying to fit in somewhere… when I was four years old, we moved from Sevilla to Madrid- different accent. My dad says for the first year we were there, I learned to adjust some of my speech to match the madrileño style."

"Really? So- if you grew up there- how'd you end up here?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

She really fascinates me. Her eyes light up with this… passion, when she mentions poetry. It's a craft we both know well.

"I don't talk about it," she snaps and then her eyes soften. "So- what are we having?"

"Whatever you like."

The waitress comes by and takes our drink orders.

"I didn't mean to pry," I tell her.

"Oh- I just- it's not something I care to get into here… maybe- later. It's just-"

"Painful?"

"Let's just say- I always thought mothers were supposed to protect their kids. When I found out mine didn't subscribe to the same theory- my father whisked me away and brought me back to his roots. Bought a house in Schenectady when I was eight and we went from there. He was able to be closer to his other kids- Jason and Sarah- and my mother never bothered to contact him or look me up. Not that I wanted her to but-"

"Mothers," I sigh. "Can't really live with 'em and can't-"

"Kill 'em. I don't so much want to kill her- as I just never want to think about her ever again. Is it like that with you and your mom? I know what I've read- what I've seen in interviews she's done- but"

"She's full of shit," I state. "Let's change the subject."

"Okay- tell me something real- about *you*. Tell me… the first memory you ever have."

"The first?" She nods. "Okay… well-" And as I talk- she listens so intently- like she's focused on my every word. She looks like she's concentrating so much. I don't think even my biggest fans listen *that* carefully to everything I say. "What about you? Your first?"

"My first memory? Kind of what you'd expect from me- the first thing I really remember is laying on my grandmother's piano as she played. I was maybe three- and she'd let me crawl up on top and stretch out as she played. It always felt so… *real* underneath me. She said that even as a baby- I had an ear for music. Sometimes, she'd play inverted chords wrong and I'd cringe."

"Really?"

"Music is just… a huge part of my life. It's like… the hardest times in my life is when I run to the piano or guitar."

"I can relate. Just look at my rhymes- it's therapy. The best kind too- 'cause I don't have to pay for it- *they* pay *me*. And those are just the songs that *made* it onto record."

"You probably have scads of notebooks and papers with lyrics that never saw the studio."

"Yeah- tons of 'em… shoved in drawers, folders… spread over the studio floor…"

Wonder if I could ever have *her* spread over the studio floor.

Bad, Marshall. Shouldn't think that. Guess there really *is* a slim shady in all of us.

12
^*^*^*^*^*^

"So tell me, what's your biggest fear?" I ask him.

"My biggest fear? Shit- I don't know. I guess that when everything's said and done- that Hailie'll look at me like everyone else does. Ya know?"

"I don't think that'll ever happen. I don't know her- but it just seems like she loves you more than you love her- if that's possible."

The waitress brings out the main dishes. "Wow- it smells really good."

I ordered smoked salmon and he ordered steak. "The menu's changed a bit since I was here- 'fore it was mainly burgers and steak. But now- they got the fish goin' on."

"I'm still tryin' to find Spanish restaurants in this fuckin' country. There *are* none. You can find a lot of Mexican joints, but no authentic Spanish ones."

"What's the difference?"

"We're not about tacos and burritos- not like your precious Taco Bell."

He cracks a smile and so do I. "Ya know- you should do that more often," I tell him.

"What?"

"Smile. Not every photo has to be a mug shot."

"'Snot like it's *every* picture-"

~*~*~*~*~*~

She's joking with me. Hell, if I didn't know better, I'd say she's bein' herself. What a concept? A non-fake woman.

"What's *your* biggest fear?" I ask her- only fair that she should answer the same questions.

"That history'll report itself, " she mumbles. She's quiet for a while and she don't look at me. "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh- right… sorry. Biggest fear? That I'll wake up tomorrow and this'll all be a dream."

"I didn't mean to upset you-" I don't know what's in her past, but it seems like I keep remindin' her of it.

"Not your fault. It's just… some times- ya can't help but think of the bad shit. Ya know?"

"Yeah- I get it."

-----------
^*^*^*^*^*^

Wow- it's been three hours already and we haven't even had dessert. We just ordered it.

Talking with him is just so easy. He *makes* it *so* easy, yet at the same time, he's trying to *not* talk about himself too much.

"Were you always this shy?" I ask.

"Shy? Usually not a word used to describe me-"

"Yeah, well- it's easy to hide behind a mic."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Does she get me or what?

"I just don't like talkin' a helluva lot."

"But you sure as fuck got a lot to say."

"People are gonna believe what they want," I tell her.

"What's the one thing you'd want people to know about you?"

"One thing? That they don't know?"

"Yeah."

"That I'm a really genuine person- I think."

"They already know that," she says, taking a sip of her wine.

"They do?"

"It comes out in your lyrics- how serious you are- even if the subject matter isn't. The one thing that really makes me mad with the press about you is that reporters wanna take everything you say literally and seriously-"

I listen as she talks and it's like she's thought this out- like an argument or editorial against bad press. Wish I'd known her years age- she'd have made an excellent publicist.

"I mean," she continues. "How many times did they quote 'Hate fags, the answer's yes'? Or say 'white rapper who fantasizes about killing  his wife'? Ya know what I don't understand?"

"No, what?"

"If everything on the CD is exactly what you stand for- then why don't they give any credibilities to 'don't do drugs'?"

"I don't know- it's an unsolved mystery."

"I guess."

^*^*^*^*^*^

He's looking at me with this strange smile. "What?" I finally ask.

"You've given a lot of thought to this topic."

I shrug. "I guess I've read some very interesting, compelling articles about you and this craze that's taken over the country."

Oh great- the triple layer chocolate cake is here.

-----------
~*~*~*~*~*~

"So, if you could do anything right now- what would it be?" I ask as she sips her coffee.

"If I could be doing anything right now? What would it be?" She asks.

I can't believe we've been here for five hours- seems like it's so natural to be talking to her. "Yeah."

"Anything?" She asks with a glint in her eye that travels right down to my dick.

"Yes," I choke as I feel her foot rubbing on my shin. Shit.

"Well," her voice is so lusty. "I'd love to be making love on a beach in the Carribean under a full moon with gentle waves lapping at my feet. You?"

Fuck. I'm supposed to talk after that?

^*^*^*^*^*^

I can't believe I just said that, but fuck the thoughts that are running through my head. I can't stop them and they're making me wet.

And that whole fuckin' scene in 8 Mile? Did *not* help cure any fantasies about what it'd be like to be under him.

"Sounds nice," he squeaks.

"It would be," I say. If I'm gonna leave him panting. I might as well do a damn good job of it. "*Very* nice- interested?" I ask, raising my right eyebrow suggestively.

"Very," he answers softly.

"Wind blowing my hair, licking our bodies, wet kisses…"

"Fuck," he shifts in his chair before asking, "Would you be top? Or would I?"

"Does it matter?" I ask softly.

"Sometimes," he winks.

I slide my barefoot up between his legs. "Maybe a little of both. Maybe neither."

~*~*~*~*~*~

I am *so* hard right now. And she *knows* it.

"Ya wanna get outta here?" I ask, placing my hand gently on her foot, pushing gently into me.

Fuck- I fuckin' *pray* she says yes.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Fuck do I!

Do I?

I do. It's probably really stupid, really soon, but I do.

"Yeah," I answer him softly.

"Alright," he shakes his head.

"I gotta make a stop at the little ladies' room."

"It's on the way out," he says.

I slip my foot back into my shoe and we both get up. He leads me out toward the bar with his hand on my bare back. Fuck- his fingers… I nearly forgot about how they felt on me when we were dancing.

Oh shit- I forgot about Jason!

"Hey! Ready?" He asks.

"Jase!" He walks up to us. "I'm so sorry we just got talking and-"

"Don't worry about it. Not a problem. Ready to go?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Fuck. There goes *that* plan.

"Um, actually, Jase, I was gonna leave with Em."

Or maybe not. "I"ma pay the check," I whisper in her ear before kissing her cheek.

Fuck- I hope she comes with me. Sure, it's a bit rushed. I guess. I don't know. I *do* know I really like her.

And I *do* know that I'm really fuckin' horny.

^*^*^*^*^*^

"Emmy, is this really wise?"

"What?"

"He blew you *off*. You just got together with him tonight. Do you think it's really wise to jump into his bed? After all that you've been through?"

"God- just for once, I hadn't thought about it-"

"I'm sorry. I know you like him, Emmy. And I respect that. I like him too- but I just don't think you should rush it. If it's meant to be… then isn't it worth the wait? To make sure it's right?"

God I hate my brother.

13
~*~*~*~*~*~

I walk back over to them and place a hand tentatively on the small of her back. "Ready?"

She turns and looks at me and I know that look. That 'sorry, Marshall, it's just that… hee hee hee' look. "Can we talk a second?" She asks quietly.

I nod and pull her to the side as her brother steps aside. "Lemme guess- you're gonna go with him?"

"I don't *want* to," she says. I believe her too- the look in her eyes… "I *really* don't want to," she says, placing her hand on my chest. "But… it's too soon… for… *that*. I really enjoyed myself tonight."

"Don't let it be over. Let me… lemme drive you back the hotel. I'll give you the Detroit tour. I just- I don't want it to be over."

^*^*^*^*^*^

Fuck- it's been *so* nice talking with him… getting to know him. It's like- I had this idea of what he'd be like and he's completely different. Different than his lyrics, than the interviews… he's just… an amazing person.

"Okay," I smile and place a chaste kiss on his lips before turning toward Jason. "Jase- I'm gonna- Marshall's gonna give me a ride back to the hotel."

"Promise?" He says to me. "No funny business?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Not like I'm a rapist or anything," I say with a smile. But her face goes white as a fuckin' ghost. Oh god- was she… I mean- that might explain some of the comments or looks she's given me.

"Emmy, why don't you come with me?" Her brother says, taking her hands in his. "Em?"

"Huh? No… no- Jase. No. I'm- I wanna go with Marshall."

"Sure?"

"I'm *fine*," she insists and I can sense his hesitation in letting her go. I think that's what happened. I think she was raped. It might explain why her sister is so skeptical of me. Maybe it's not just me. Maybe it's any male.

"I'm just gonna show her a few of my favorite spots- and then I'll bring her to the hotel," I inform him. And I don't know what it is- but… he nods- like he knows I mean it- like he's trusting me with his sister. "Ready?" I ask her.

"Yeah," she nods and I lead her out to my car.

She's quiet as she puts her seat-belt on and I start the car and turn the heat on. I'll give it a minute- just to make sure she don't change her mind.

"It was my uncle," she states quietly. I look at her and her eyes are glazed over as she stares at the dashboard.

"Huh?" Is my brilliant, non-thought out reaction.

"My mother's brother, Juan."

I don't really know what to say- so I don't.

"I was eight. His wife was eight months pregnant and died in a terrible accident and he was drinking permanently, living with us. My dad was at work and my mom had run down to the corner store for bread."

Oh my god- I wish there was something I could do for her. I can't imagine… fuck- if *anyone* ever hurt *Hailie* that way- I *would* kill 'em. Oh my god- there'd be no place they could from me.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Fuck- just *thinking* about it- I can see it happening… *feel* it…

"I was playing in my room when the door opened. I tried to fight-" and I *did*. I scratched him. I tried to hurt him. "But the more I fought- it was like… he *wanted* the punishment." I start to cry as I watch this little girl… a baby… in my room-

"When it was over- he got on his knees and prayed to God- prayed for forgiveness- even as I laid there bleeding… from places I didn't know I had…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Fuck- I don't know what to do for her! I don't know whether I should touch her… or just leave her be… this is torture.

"My mom came home and found him passed out on the floor. I was just *there*… on the bed. She picked me up and put me in the tub- cleaned me up- trying to *explain* it- telling me Tio Juan was sad about Rosa… that he didn't mean me any harm-"

GOD DAMMIT! What mother would *do* that to her child? Her eyes… they're so angry- beyond angry.

"When Daddy got home- Mom served dinner. She said Tio Juan needed help- a doctor. I wasn't hungry. She sent me to bed. I was… terrified to be in that room by myself. I screamed and screamed and Daddy ran in- Mom said it must have been a bad dream."

"Oh my god-" I say and I can't help it. I start to cry. Picturing this little girl… no matter what my mom did to me- it doesn't compare. Her mother tried to hide the fact that she'd been raped?

"I looked up at my mother's eyes and they were- cold." She turns and looks at me. "No feeling whatsoever- no pity- no empathy- nothing. They were cold."

"I'm so sorry-" I tell her, but can it really help?

"She wasn't gonna help me. Anything I ever felt for her died in that second. I turned to my father and said 'help me'- He was confused, didn't know what had happened. I remember the look on his face when I said 'The sheets- they were red before when Juan hurt me'- I told him in English."

"What happened?"

"He questioned Mom- then he picked me up and took me to the living room, set me down in a chair. He kicked and shook Juan until he woke up and asked him if he'd hurt me. He barely remembered- but then he looked over at me and just started crying. Mom started telling Daddy that Juan just needed help and that he was so distraught- Daddy called her an unfeeling bitch. He carried me back to my room, threw all my toys and some books and clothes into a suitcase and we left."

"Where did you go?"

"He took me to the hospital and then to a hotel for a few days. He said we'd leave as soon as he finished it with his wife. Filed for divorce, got the rest of our stuff and held me the whole plane ride back to New York."

"God- I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be. It- happened. It's- I was in therapy for a while- a few years- even now- I call her up sometimes… when I wake up in the middle of the night. She's a good friend- Melissa."

"So your mom never contacted you?"

"I don't know if she tried. Dad asked me if I ever wanted to see her again- on the plane ride- and I said I had no mother. If she tried- he kept her away from me. He bought the house in Schenectady and was able to get shared custody of Jase and Sarah again…"

"That's why you're so close? With them?"

"Without them- I'd still be that scared little girl. Daddy saved me- when no else would."

^*^*^*^*^*^

Ya know- he's the first person I've told this much to- the first person I relived it for… first person who made me safe enough to even *think* about it. Let alone *talk* about it.

"Don't look at me like that," I tell him.

"Like what?"

"With pity. I don't need it. I had *lots* of therapy. I dealt- am dealing- but- I was able to… have a happy life. It took a couple years- before I felt safe with any male. I had to have all female teachers in school- it took a while to feel safe *playing* in my room alone. But I healed- and- used poetry… my music- it all helped me heal. So don't look at me with sorrow. Would you want me to look at *you* that way?"

"Fuck- I actually feel *guilty* for sayin' shit about my mom now. She was a fuckin' *dream* compared to-"

"Don't say that. 'Sfar as I'm concerned- it might as well have been my mother in that room with me." I lock eyes with his and say, "And if even half the stuff you imply about your mom is true- she raped you too."

"What?" He's shocked I'd even *say* that. But it's true.

"Telling you she wished you were dead? To her own *son*? Playing mind games with you? Emotional rape. She *used* you to get what *she* wanted- attention, money- whatever."

"Guess I'd never thought of it that way."

"Yeah- you should sue *her* ass."

14
~*~*~*~*~*~

"So that's the Chin Tiki, huh?" She asks, looking out the window.

"That's it. So you've seen most of the places."

"Yeah- in the dark. We'll have to come again- in the light."

"Okay," I tell her. Shit- "It's three in the morning."

"Really? Wow. Time flies, huh?"

"When you're having fun," I comment. "Maybe I should gechu back ta the hotel."

"Maybe," she says before leaning toward me. Shit- I shift a bit and meet her lips with my own. She licks my bottom lip- okay. This is nice. I open my mouth for her and feel her tongue teasing me-

^*^*^*^*^*^

Fuck he's a good kisser. I feel his tongue sliding against my own. His hand slips around my head, around the base of my neck. "Mmm…" I moan. I can't really help it and I don't really want to.

He pulls the clip out of my hair and it falls down. His fingers weave into my hair and he pulls me a little closer to him. Shit- it's getting hot in here. He opens his mouth more- pulling me toward him- deepening the kiss.

Fuck.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Her hair is so silky between my fingers- she smells so good. I groan when I feel her hand sliding around me, pulling my shirt out of the pants.

Hey- I can understand the need for skin. I slide my hand down her back and did I mention how much I love dresses with open backs? I slip my hand down inside the dress and pull her ass toward me more.

I feel her hands on my back and I *really* wish we were in a bed and not a car right now.

I pull away for a minute, panting- she is too. Fuck- the look in her eyes tells me she's just as turned on as I am right now.

"We shouldn't," she says and I know she's right.

"Yeah."

"There's just- it's not that I don't want to- but-"

"We still barely know each other."

"It's not that, Em, it's just that-" she called me 'Em' "I just think that sometimes- a little sexual frustration makes the moment sweeter."

"So you're masochisitic then?" I ask with a smile.

"Maybe a little," she confesses.

^*^*^*^*^*^

There's nothing I'd like better than to jump into bed with him right now- or feel him above me- in me- on my lips… But- "It's just sort of soon."

"I get it," he says disappointedly.

"I'm right there with you," I say before leaning forward and kissing him again. Shit- he's addictive. I don't think I've *ever* felt this… *magnetism* from anyone else.

"I should gechu back," he says before the kiss gets out of hand.

"You're right," I admit.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She turns toward the front of the car again and pauses before saying, "But I'm so wet right now."

WHAT?! I- did she just- *say* that? Did she mean to?!

"Lemme feel," I say before I can stop it from coming out of my mouth.

She turns to look at me and grins. "Now, now- don't get fresh, Mister Mathers."

"Please?" I ask. Fuck- am I *that* desperate?

"We should go."

"You're right." Okay- I throw the car into drive.

-----------
^*^*^*^*^*^

We just got on the highway and I try to hide the smile as I gently place my hand on his. I watch his Adam's apple move as I pull his hand toward me. Thankfully, I wore this really short dress. I pull his hand between my thighs and he groans. The car swerves a bit before he straightens us out.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Oh shit! And did I mention- oh shit?!

She's *so* hot. And damp. I move my index finger along the crotch of her panties and feel her soaking through.

"So-" I clear my throat and try that again. "Tell me- panties or naked?"

"What?"

"How do you sleep?"

"I sleep well- thanks. You?" I steal a glance at her and she's smiling.

"Better if you were with me."

^*^*^*^*^*^

Oh my god- his face is *so* expressive. The looks he gets in his eyes- his facial expressions. The way he's looking at me right now is like that face he made at the VMA's when he was walking out for the last award. Shit- I've watched that so many times.

"Down boy," I say quietly before pulling our hands out.

-----------
~*~*~*~*~*~

I pull up in front of the hotel where she's stayin'. This ride has been *torture*.

We just sit there for a few minutes. And then she surprises me again.

"Ya know what really gets me going?"

"Excuse me?"

"The bass- on your albums. Sometimes- when I was *really* just laying down, listening, with the radio cranked… I'd start throbbing with the bass."

"Holy shit-"

She turns toward me and smiles. "I guess I'm vocal. How 'bout you?" She kisses my lips quickly and opens the door. "Thanks for a nice evening."

"Yeah- I'll… I'll call you?"

"Okay," she says as she gets out of the car. "Oh, and Marshall?" I look out at her and she says, "Naked."

Fuck.

15
-----------
^*^*^*^*^*^

I open my eyes to the bright light that is the sun, streaming in through my now open curtains. "What the fuck are you *doing*?" I throw a pillow at Jason.

He catches it and dives onto the bed. "Feeling ticklish?"

"NOOOO!" I squeal and swing at him to get away from me. "Stop it!" AH! He knows exactly where to get me and I'm laughing and giggling and squealing. "JAY! STOP IT! STOP! I'MA PISS ALL OVER!"

"'I'ma'?"

"What?"

"Spending a bit too much time with him, I think. He's starting to infect your speech."

"Piffle!" I stick my tongue out and spit at him.

"So-" he calms down and looks at me, "Tell me all about it!"

"Promised Sarah you'd give her the details, did you?"

"I'm curious. Okay?"

"It was… amazing, Jase. It was one of the best nights of my life!"

"Why? What'd you guys do last night?"

"He just drove us around Detriot- showed me all the places from the movie… the clubs he used to battle at… we just talked. He told me about Hailie. I told him about my music and Espana. It was- he's a really good listener. He's so sweet, too. Shy sometimes, as well."

"And? Smoochies?"

"Jase- if I never kiss another man in my life… let's just say I *never* wanna kiss another man in all my life. He's… he's it."

"It?" My brother knows how I feel about love-at-first-sight… I just don't know how you just *know* in that second. I don't believe it. But- after spending two nights with him… I just *know*. Call it whatever you like.

"Maybe it's just attraction- I don't know, Jase. I just know he's *it*."

"What about the women thing of his?"

"I dunno," I shrug. "But I'm not gonna let that stop me from what could potentially be the best thing to ever happen to me."

"I just don't wanna see you get your hopes up."

"Would you let it stop *you*?"

"No."

"Then don't try and tell me to let it stop *me*." I hop up out of bed and-

"I haven't *been* through what you've been through, Emma."

I freeze, my back to him. "He knows, Jason."

"He knows?"

I turn around and my brother sits up on the bed. "He *knows*. I… I told him. Last night."

"You *told* him?"

"I *told* him. Everything. I closed my eyes… and told him what I see in my mind."

"Emmy-" he's worried and sad.

"It was- I'm okay, Jason. Don't you get it? I was *okay* telling him that. I couldn't even tell *Scott* the whole- not in detail- not like I did last night. Don't you see? It's different with him."

~*~*~*~*~*~

I could *not* get her off my mind last night. In fact, I didn't really. I went down to the studio and played with some beats. And myself. A lot.

But- I *have* to call her.

<Ring. Ring.>

I waited… what? Seven hours? It just- feels different when I'm with her. It's not Kim. It's not Mariah. She's not one of these hoes that just wants to get with me to say they got with me. There's just something about her, something I haven't seen in any other woman before.

<"Hello?" A male voice answers.>

Don't blow up. "Is Emma there?"

<"She's in the bathroom. Is this Eminem?">

"Yeah- Jason?" Please be her brother.

<"Yeah. I woke her up. No one needs to sleep past two in the afternoon, not even my sister.">

"Well- we were up late," I tell him, as if he wasn't waiting there to make sure I returned his sister safe. I wonder if he shares his sister's hatred of me? Of course, now that I- I can understand why Sarah *might* be skeptical, but to be outwardly cruel to me? Uncalled for, really.

<"She told me she told you about the rape.">

"Yeah- she did."

<"She- doesn't talk much about it. She's tried to move on. But… I think there's just some part of her that'll always be hurting.">

"Understandable under the circumstances. Ain't it?"

<"Here she is-" I hear him hand her the phone and she says, "Jase- can I get some privacy?" A few more seconds go by, "Hi," she says softly.>

"Hey, Sleepyhead."

<"Yeah, well- I was tired. Brought myself off three times last night. You?">

She really *is* vocal, isn't she? "Twice," I confess.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Just *thinking* about him… sitting there thinking of me? It makes me hot.

"So- why're ya calling?"

<"Why do *you* think? I wanna see you again… *more* of you preferably.">

"Oh yeah? Is that so?" I ask, but obviously it is. "Unfortunately, I got a plane to catch in four hours."

<"How 'bout lunch?">

"I guess we could do that. Wanna just come here?"

<"I'd love to just *come* there. But I thought we decided it was too soon.">

"Yeah- tell me why again?"

<"As I was comin' on my hand last night I was tryin' to remember that same exact thing.">

~*~*~*~*~*~

I hear her laugh in the background. <"So- say in an hour? I'll call down and order some food up?">

"I could stop and pick up *my* favorite food."

<"And that would be…?" She asks.>

"Taco Bell," I say, "Even though I *know* you're not a fan of tacos."

<"Are you kidding? I *love* tacos- they're just not Spanish. But that's cool. Just don't tell my brother- I'm supposed to be all eating heathy and shit.">

"Deal. See you in an hour."

<"Em?">

"Yeah?"

<"Boxers or naked?">

I can help but grin. "Naked- unless Hailie's here."

<"See you soon.">

"Bye."

Ya know what's different about her? The name thing. *That's* what's different.Most people- when they come up to me- they have no idea what to call me.

The teen guys'll come up and try to pull off a 'hey, Slim.' The girls all try and get to me by calling me Marshall, thinking that using *that* name will make it seem like they know me. Other's call me Em- trying to make it seem like they recognize who I am but don't wanna intrude- but really they do. It's all fake. And you can always tell who's bein' sincere and who's not.

But when she calls me Marshall- it's like she *means* it- like she *does* know me. Like she's known me for years- like she's looking *beyond* Eminem. And *now* she's crossed over that line to people who can pull off the 'Em' because they're close friends and switch between any names they want and still sound sincere and real. And she did the switch so seemlessly…

Well- I guess I should go get ready to leave.

16
-----------
~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm standing outside her bedroom door and it's *really* loud in there. I knock on the door, but I'm not sure anyone'll hear.

//So when you see me on your block with two glocks
Screamin' "fuck the world" like Tupac, I just don't give a fuck
Talkin' that shit behind my back, dirty mackin'
Tellin' your boys that I'm on crack, I just don't give a fuck//

"Hey," her brother says, opening the next door down the hall. "I'm on my way out- be back in a couple hours. She's in there- door's probably locked." He comes over and sticks his card in the lock and it unlocks. "Go on in."

"Thanks!" Then he walks away.

I open the door and hear her, "Extortion, snortin', supportin' abortion. Pathological liar, blowin' shit out of proportion. The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic. Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict. Half animal, half man-"

I close the door behind me and see her dancing her way from the closet to the suitcase on the bed. "I just don't give a fuck!" She says. I don't think I've ever seen something so hot.

I walk up behind her and the music's so loud she doesn't even hear me.

^*^*^*^*^*^

"I'll bite your mutherfuckin' style, just to make it fresher. I can't take the pressure, I'm sick of bitches-" Huh? I turn around at the sound of another voice, besides my own. "Doin' too much Rush had my face flushed like red blush-"

Red blush? I close my mouth quickly- caught in the act. I race over to the stereo and stop it. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough," he answers with a grin.

"Mm-huh. How embarassing!" I say before turning to finish packing. But instead, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls my back to him. He kisses my shoulder and moves my hair out of the way to kiss my neck tenderly. I moan.

"It was a total turn-on," he whispers against my skin.

"Really?" I ask as I roll my head back.

"Mmm," is his response and I feel his hands sliding up my stomach toward my breasts. Fuck, yes please- touch me. I am *so* yours for the taking. I feel him press his groin against me and he's hard against my ass. "What do you think?" He asks me.

I slip my arm back around his head and pull his mouth to mine. I *love* kissing like this- with my back against his front- it ends up bein' a sideways type kiss with his hands on my front- I'm glad I wore the button up tank top because I feel his unbuttoning it and I can't help but whimper.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Fuck. I feel her hands gripping my thighs and they slide up to my ass to pull me closer to her.

I unbutton the last of the buttons and pull the shirt open. Shit- her abs are… freakishly firm. She must work out… a lot. She's got this (from the feel of it) lace type silky bra on and I massage her tits. They're nice. Big but not huge- not fake.

She nibbles my lip a bit and pulls her mouth away. "What are we doing?"

"Kissing," I answer her with my hands all over her.

She covers my hands with hers and says, "Feels more like groping."

"Then we're groping," I say. "Better plan than kissing." She doesn't stop me, but I'm wondering if she's *going* to. She *should*. But-

"Well," she says pulling away completely. Fuck. She turns around and I watch her drop her shirt. She takes my hands and pulls me toward the bed, "Then *I* wanna play *too*."

"Play?" I ask with a grin.

"No one-way gropes on my watch. If we're gonna grope- then I'm gonna grope too."

Fuck- not gonna say no to *that*, am I? What sane man would?

^*^*^*^*^*^

I knew he would have a problem with that. I kneel on the bed and pull him closer before I pull him to me and my mouth is on his again as I push his jacket off. I start pulling his shirt up and he helps me get it off.

I lick my lips and place my hands on his shoulders. "Ya know-" I tell him, because like I said- I'm vocal. "Before- like at the VMA's and you were doin' Cleanin' Out My Closet without your shirt- it was… *nice*." I run my hands down his arms, feeling his biceps as I go. I trace the D12 tattoos on his forearms before sliding my hands up his chest, scratching his nipples as I go.

"It was?" He asks.

"*Yeah*. You're a nice piece of eye-candy And lucky for you- my favorite kind is M&M's." He looks at me and cocks and eyebrow. Yeah- I'm sure he's heard *that* joke before, but- "I couldn't resist."

"*I* can't resist," he says before slipping his hands around my back and I feel his fingers perched on the hooks of my bra. "Can I?"

"Please do," I whimper and bite his shoulder playfully. He unhooks my bra quickly (which is impressive because I've yet to meet a guy who could do it successfully in less than a minute).

He pulls it off my shoulders slowly and says, "Lemme look acha," and I let him. "*You're* a nice piece a' eye-candy."

"Well-" I say, pulling him onto the bed with me, "together- we *are* Em and Em."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Fate, I guess," I shrug before we fall together on the bed. Her legs fall open and I lay on top of her. Skin on skin is *definitely* good. Her nipples pebble and I feel her nails on my back- moving up and down.

I pull away from her mouth and look down at her, "Don't think I don't know whacher doin'," I tell her.

"Huh?" She asks. She's innocent looking enough- but-

"I feel you, ya know."

"I don't know *what* you're talkin' 'bout, Mr. Mathers. Must have me confused with the *other* more daring me."

"Oh no- I know it's *you* who's slowing pushing my pants down."

^*^*^*^*^*^

That's it. Enough of this. In one quick (very slick, if I do say so myself) move- I flip us over and pin his arms to the bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~

What the fuck?! She's a bit… *strong*.

"Yeah- okay- so maybe I was. Got a problem with that?"

"No- I don't," I say, glancing at her tits, just hangin' there in front of me…

I open my mouth to kiss one and she says, "NO."

"What?"

She holds my wrists to the bed and slides down a bit to kiss down my chest, licking my nipples as she does. She nibbles a bit too and I feel her tongue circle my belly button. Wonder if the tattoo bothers her?

Shit- guess not, since she's tracing the letters very carefully right now. She releases my wrists and I bury my hands in her hair. She's got gorgeous long, thick hair.

Speaking of long and thick… she's definitely groping. She slips a hand inside my pants and I feel her hand rubbing my cock. She presses her palm against me just enough to make it hurt in the *best* way. "Shit-"

She laughs a bit and bites her lip. "I wanna…" she starts to say but her voice trails off as she starts pulling my pants down.

Before I know what's goin' on- she's got her mouth on me and her tongue is moving around my cock- "Shit- Emma, you don't-"

"Shh," she says. Well- okay… do whacha wanna do, I guess.

^*^*^*^*^*^

Mmmm- now *this* is nice. *He* is nice. He'll feel really good inside- once we get there, once *he* gets there.

I engulf the tip in my mouth and start moving as my hands rub the base.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Should I be worried that she's *this* good at this?

And again- I must also say- "Fuck" because she's probably the first girl that seems to be actually *excited* about this. I mean- Kim *did*- when I asked her. She never *offered*.

And… it's getting harder (yes, it is) to think…

"Fuck- Emma-"

^*^*^*^*^*^

Oh yeah- a few more minutes- "Emma, I'm gonna-"

I pull on his harder and swallow around him pulling him deep into my throat.

"FUCK!" He screams and I feel him exploding in my mouth.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Oh yeah. Okay- I- wow.

I look down and see her head resting on my hip.

I take her face in my hands and pull her up to me to kiss her. I slide my hand down, toward her-

But she kisses my forehead. "That was for you," she says before getting up off the bed.

"But-" I don't get it. I don't think anyone has *ever* *not* wanted anything in return for head.

She picks up her shirt and I notice three scars on her side- like slash marks.

^*^*^*^*^*^

I turn around to see what he's thinking and find him staring at *them*.

I clear my throat and pull my shirt back on quickly.

"What are-"

I cut him off by pushing shuffle on the player and turning it up. Loud.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I watch her for a few minutes. She starts jumping around and dancing, "Cool, calm, just like my mom with a couple of valium inside her palm. It's Mr. Mischief with a trick up his sleeve." I bet she'd look really hot in a pair of underwear and a bra, just jumping around.

I pull my pants up and walk over and turn the volume down a bit. She's got the whole thing- the hand gestures, the attitude, the delivery- "You should put out a hip-hop album," I tell her.

She looks relieved that I didn't ask her about whatever they are on her side.

"I can deliver the words- but I can't write 'em," she shrugs. "I thought of it- when I started gettin' into it- the flow, words… the beats- but I can't write raps."

"Just poetry, you write *that*, doncha?"

"I guess."

"You should lemme read some. Maybe I could find some that would go good with a beat."

She looks at me for a second, thinking. "Okay," she agrees. "Yeah- okay."

-----------
^*^*^*^*^*^

I finish packing and change quick. Leather pants and a dark purple sweater. I throw some gel in my hair to help keep the curl and he seems to enjoy watching me get ready. He's pretty quiet.

"We never ate," I say as I zip up the last of my suitcases.

He hasn't put his shirt back on. I'm glad. He's *nice* to look at.

"Nah- we didn't. 'Sokay, though."

"I'll eat on the plane."

"When will I see you again?" He asks.

I glance at the clock. Jase'll be back in less than an hour. I walk over to the bed and lay down next to him. I lay my head on his chest and his arms wrap around me. These are *good* arms to have around you.

I feel his hand slip under my sweater and his fingers run over *them*.

"Tell me," he says quietly- half demanding, half asking.

"I can't," I answer softly. "Not yet."

And we just lay in silence.

-----------

"That's all?" Jase asks me.

"That's all of it."

"Sure? No shirt left over or nothin'?"

"Nothing. I double checked."

"Okay- I'm gonna go check quick." My brother- what can I say? He's such the worrier.

I turn to Marshall and slip into his arms for a long hug. I inhale his scent and I could get drunk off it- if I'm not already. I don't think any man has ever smelled better to me. Or tasted better. He was heavy on my tongue- full in my mouth… Mmm. I kiss him softly.

"Thank you," he says.

"Thank *you*," I say.

"No." He looks into my eyes and says, "*Thank* *you*."

"My pleasure," I say with a wink. "I'll call?"

"You better," he says. We kiss once more and then he leaves, albeit reluctantly, on both of our parts.

"Okay, Emmy. Let's go."

"I'm hungry," I say on our way out the door.

"I thought he brought food- thought you had lunch."

"We uh- didn't get to it. It got cold."

"What the hell were you doin' then?"

"So- when does the plane leave?!" I say while walking ahead of him to the elevator.

17
-----------
~*~*~*~*~*~

"So- gimme details, Dog."

"What?"

"You were in her hotel room! Come on! Details."

I glance at Proof. Yes- he's my best friend. And ordinarily- if it was just some chick… but it's not. She's not just some chick.

"Proof- it was-"

"Don't gimme some run around, *Marsh*. C'mon, details."

Fuck. I don't wanna kiss and tell. Well- I *do*- but- "It was… amazing."

"Fuck her?" He asks.

"No, I didn't. We just- kissed."

"C'*mon*, Man. I've known you too long- I *know* you got some."

"She- fuck- not a word to *anyone*. Not the guys- not even to a rock. Promise me."

"I swear, Em, not a peep."

Well- he *is* my best-friend. I guess I can trust him. "She went down on me."

"WHAT?! Little Emma?! She's what, twenty years old?"

"I don't know- she's older than that. Ain't she?" Fuck- I hadn't even thought of that.

"Dunno. Was it good?"

"Man- it was… I don't know whether I should be happy that my girl is that good or if I should be worried."

"So whad you do?"

"Nuthin', Man. She didn't- I mean, I offered. But she didn't want it."

"Didn't want it? What woman doesn't want it?"

"That's what I thought- but she got up and- OH- she- you should *see* her dancin' around to Purple Pills! She's- amazing. She can really spit- she's gonna send me some of her poems and shit and see if I can put 'em to a beat."

"Really?" He looks skeptical.

"What?"

"Just- you think in five months you'll be together? Enough to be workin' on somethin' with her? Assuming you even *want* to get involved on a project…"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"The press?"

"Fuck the press," I say and I throw the glass at the wall. "*Fuck* the press."

^*^*^*^*^*^

I throw my bag down onto the floor. "Julia?" I call. "Julia? Donde estas? Julia?" I hear her crawling out from under my bed. I love my dog. She's a gorgeous yellow lab. My dad insisted that I get a dog if I was gonna live alone in L.A. I've had her for three years. "Hey girl," I sit on the couch and she hops up and curls up. I lie down and place my head on her belly. "I missed you too."

I miss *him*. I pick up the phone.

<Ring. Ring. "'Lo?">

"Hey, Cutie," I say.

<"Hey- are you home?">

"Yes- just got in- the traffic was terrible. Fuckin' Thanksgiving weekend. Julia wants to meet you, though."

<"Who?" He asks. "If it's another sister- I think I've met one too many of those.">

"No- I only have two sisters. Sarah and Raquel."

<"Raquel?">

"My mother got remarried right after the divorce was finalized. I have a younger brother and sister."

<"Oh- I didn't know that.">

"There's a lot you don't know about me. Ya know what I was thinking about on the plane?"

<"No- what?">

"How good you felt in my mouth."

<"Oh yeah?"> Finally, he's not gonna play shy. Maybe he'll start being himself around me. <"That all? 'Cause you *really* didn't have to-">

"I wanted to," I say.

<"Well- I guess I owe you one.">

"It's not about that, Marshall. It's not about keeping score. I wanted to taste you- so I did. I didn't do you a favor- I just- I wanted to."

<"Well- it was amazing… so tell me more.">

"More?" I ask. I can't help but smile. "That's easy 'cause I got a pretty nasty mind."

<"For example?">

"Well- I kept thinking about your hands in my hair… how your hips jerked, how your thighs felt under my hands-"

<"Shit. Emma-">

"You hard again?" I ask.

<"What do *you* think?">

"*I* think you are. Or you're pretty close to it. *And* I think you'll feel *really* good inside me."

<"I think I will too.">

"So how does your custody arrangement work?"

<"Huh?"> I know- abrupt change of subject.

"Your custody of Hailie- how does it work? Weekends, weekdays- how does it work?"

<"Oh, right- my daughter. When I'm in town- we do an every other week thing- sort of. Kim kinda… lives with me now.">

~*~*~*~*~*~

Yeah- not the best time to bring up the fact that I'm now *living* with my ex-wife.

<"She *lives* with you?">

"Yeah-"

<"Why?"> Strange, she doesn't sound *that* upset. But-

"Basically because she was- well, she had a house, of her own. But then she started gettin' these phone calls and letters. 'Bout a week ago this fucker broke in to the house when she was home with Hailie. So I told her to come here because I want her and Hai-Hai safe."

<"Makes sense.">

"It does?! 'Cause honestly, it don't make no sense to *me*."

<"I can understand a father wanting his daughter to be safe. I'd be worried if you *didn't* do what you needed to, to make sure she was safe.">

Well- that makes sense, I guess. "So- what's next for you?"

<"Well- I'm leaving in three days for Europe. The movie's opening over there next week so I'ma do some interviews and shit. I think they're tryin' to get an unplugged type concert thing in Madrid- I dunno.">

"Wow- when'll you be back?"

<"March.">

"March?!" March?! She's not gonna be back in this country until March? Four months of press?! "What about Christmas?"

<"Oh- I'ma fly back for a week. We're gonna go to Seattle to stay with Sarah for Christmas. Then I'll go back.">

"So I won't see you until March?"

^*^*^*^*^*^

Now *that's* a depressing thought. "I guess. 'Less you wanna fly over and visit me."

<"Would you want me to?">

"Well-" Shit. Okay- be a grown up. "I *am* your girl, aren't I? I mean, if I'm not- that's-"

<"No- you *are* my girl.">

I don't think I've ever smiled as much. "Then, yeah, I'd want you to. If you could get away, but- I don't know how your arrangement works."

<"I'm not fuckin' her," he says quickly.>

"Huh?" Oh, right, Kim. "I didn't think you were."

<"Really? Everyone *else* does.">

"Well- that's everyone else."

<"I wanna see ya again 'fore you go.">

Shit- that'd be nice. "Can you come?"

<"I think you know I *can*.">

If he could only *see* me blush… "Can you get away?"

<"Yeah- I will.">

"Call me once you know when you'll be here. I'll pick you up at the airport."

<"'Kay.">

18
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~*~*~*~*~*~

Okay- she said she'd be out at the curb in a Grand AM. I put this ridiculous hat on and grab my carry on. Okay- as disguises go, I guess it's okay. Only one person has looked at me like they knew me. A suit, long overcoat, sunglasses and this hat. I guess if ya don't wanna get recognized you should dress like no one would ever imagine. Whatever. I'm just sick of people following me around.

I grab my suitcase from baggage claim and I'm out the door. Well- there's a Grand AM, let's hope for the best.

Do I feel guilty for leaving for the week? Hell no. I spent a good deal of the weekend shopping with Hailie. She's in school mostly anyway. I'll be back on Wednesday.

I knock on the window and she unlocks it. "Hi," I say throwing my stuff in back. I hop in and close the door.

"I *love* the outfit. You look good in a suit."

"I look better *out* of a suit."

"Your birthday suit?" She asks with a waggle of her eyebrow. Oh- that's new.

"Yeah. When'd you get your eyebrow pierced?" It looks really good.

"Oh- this? Last night. I got bored at home, so I went out. You like?"

"It's hot."

"Well- that's the point, ain't it? To make every girl wanna *be* me and every guy wanna *fuck* me?"

"Is it?"

"Not really, but if it happens in the meantime… why not?"

^*^*^*^*^*^

"I gotta be packin' a bit tonight though. I'm doin' a little each day. I hate it."

"Packing?"

"I don't know- I think… I like talking to people, press and the whole thing. That's fine. Just- living out of a suitcase… it's annoying."

"Get used to it," he says.

"I guess you're a seasoned professional then? I just- isn't it easier if you have a tour bus? If you're doing shows? Isn't it a little more predictable?"

"I guess- but then you've got all the pressure of the shows and shit."

"I don't know- I think it'd be fun to rock the house- have all those people screaming at you… I love concerts- body surfing and the whole nine yards."

"Like goin' to concerts?"

Oh shit. "Yeah- I've seen some good ones."

"For example?"

"Well- ya know, my dad was huge into punk and rock… we caught the Sex Pistols Dirty Lucre tour… I've seen Godsmack twice- Marilyn Manson- that was a trip. Nine Inch Nails, the Clash, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Guns 'N Roses… a lot. We're concert junkies."

"Wow- all those?"

"And