Early Morning

Chapter 1

“God damn it, won’t you pee already?  Fuckin’, it’s too early to be up,” Marshall muttered as he tapped his foot in his impatience.

“He’s never going to pee if you keep yelling at him,” a woman replied snidely as she jogged by him.

“What do you suggest?” Marshall barked.

“Try walking him,” she said, turning around to face him.

“Lady, what the fuck do you think I’m doing at 4am?  Waiting for the sun to come up?  I’m walking this stupid dog.”

“Walking implies moving.  You’re just standing there,” she grinned as she jogged in place.

“I am moving,” Marshall said defensively, pointing to his foot.

“Oh, right!” she laughed.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Damn straight,” she smiled.

“It’s too early to be witty,” he muttered.  “Want to let me in on the secret to such morning chipperness?”

“No,” she grinned slyly.  “You’re a big boy, I’ll let you figure it out,” she said and jogged away from him.

“PEE ALREADY!” Marshall yelled and heard the distant laughter of the female jogger.

//

“Hailie Jade, you need to housetrain this damn dog.  I ain’t gonna get up at 4am because it won’t pee in the backyard.”

“But Daddy!” she cried.  “He can’t help it!”

“He’s gonna have to learn to!”

“It’s okay, Jake,” Hailie cooed and took the dog’s head in her hands, “Daddy’s just being a grouch.  He loves you, just like I do!”

“No, I can’t stand the thing.  I don’t know how the hell I let you talk me into getting the stupid thing.”

“Daddy,” she protested, “he’s not a thing!”

“I’m serious, Hailie.  That dog better learn how to pee before he goes to bed, and hold it until a reasonable morning hour.  Or he goes back.”

“You wouldn’t!” she screamed.

“I would, too!” he growled.  “Baby, Daddy is very tired, and Jake isn’t helping by waking Daddy up in the middle of the night for a walk.”

“He can learn!”

“He better, and he better learn quick.”

//

“Still doesn’t pee on command?” a woman teased as she jogged next to Marshall.

“Oh, good, my morning can get worse.  Thank you for the displeasure.”

“I’m telling you, if you’d just walk him a little…”

“I don’t see you with a dog,” he challenged.

“Ah, but that’s because I’m not glutton enough to do that,” she grinned in victory.

“It’s my daughter’s.”

“Shouldn’t she be taking care of it?”

“Not at 4am.”

“Live and learn, darling,” she teased and continued on her jog.

//

“Hailie, I’m not seeing any progress!” Marshall grumbled as he fixed eggs over a hot skillet.

“Oh, Daddy, it’s only been one day!  You can’t expect instant results.”

“Threaten him!”

“I can’t be mean to him!”

“How do you expect him to learn what not to do if you never yell at him?”

“He’ll learn!  I promise!”

“I’m just saying, Hailie.  I can’t take all these sleepless nights.  Between work and that dog, I’m getting two hours or less!”

“I’m sorry, Daddy!” Hailie said sadly, teary-eyed.

“Baby, don’t cry.  It’s not your fault.”

“Give Jake a little longer?  Please?” she asked with doe-eyes.

“All right,” he said, in spite of his better judgment.

//

“Up again!” she remarked.

“Unfortunately.  Seeing how this is becoming a regular thing, I think we should introduce ourselves.”

“I suppose,” she replied noncommittally.

“Fine, I’ll go first.  I’m Marshall Mathers, I live in the white house.”

“White house?  Well, hello Mr. President.”

“No, but he sure does hate me.”

She laughed.  “I’m Isabella—Bella if you’re lucky—Combs.  I live in the house next door.”

“Howdy, neighbor,” Marshall said in his best southern accent.

She gave him a small, half-smile.  “I must get going.  See you tomorrow, Mr. Mathers!”

With a funny smirk on his face, Marshall almost looked forward to tomorrow morning.

//

“I still say you should try to walk the thing.”

“Why is it you always have the first and last words?” he asked.

“I don’t know.  Maybe it’s because of my witticisms.  You just can’t compete.”

“It’s too early to compete,” he complained.

“Not an early riser?”

“Apparently not.  Unlike you.”

“What can I say?  I’m an early bird.”

“By choice or default?” he glanced at the sleek watch on her wrist.

“Default,” she admitted.  “I get home late, and I have to leave early.  So I exercise even earlier.  Seeing how my chances of getting raped increase after eleven.  Plus, it’s too damn cold.”

“I wish I had your energy.”

“Just think of how in shape you want to be for your lover, and I’m sure that’ll do the trick,” she teased and started to jog away from him.

“Appearance says all, then?” he said, annoyed.

“No, darling, it’s your endurance that says all.”

She left him gawking at her, and more than a little shocked at her uninhibited words.

//

“Morning, Isabella,” he said warmly without turning around.

“Ah, you’re more awake today.  You got to have the first word.”

He yawned.  “I haven’t slept.  I’m running on caffeine.”

“Bad habit,” she remarked.

“So is eating and running.”

Guiltily, she smirked.  “What about running and eating?  Better?”

He shot her a disparaging look.

“Aw, Marshall, you’re so easy to tease.”

“I’m just not in my prime form.  It’s too early.”

“I keep hearing that excuse, but really, why not try something new?”

“What, like you?” he taunted.

Her eyes widened slightly.  “Nah, you’re not that lucky,” she volleyed and walked off.  

“But don’t I wish I was that lucky,” he murmured, out of her hearing, keeping a trained eye on her behind as she moved into the distance.

Chapter 2

Author: zines@aol.com

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These stories are for entertainment purposes only.  They are completely fictitious, and the authors mean no harm to EMINEM, his family, friends, or anyone else that may have been depicted as a 'real life' character.  No money was made on the fiction here, either directly or indirectly, i.e. paid advertising. In other words - it's just a bunch of shit we wrote for fun. Please don't take it seriously.