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Brian McCollum Interview with
Eminem, June 2000 |
Eminem is discovering that the sweet flavor of success comes
with a nasty aftertaste.
"I always wished for this," he said of his skyrocketing
fame. "But it's almost turning into more of a nightmare than
a dream."
In his first comprehensive interview since topping the
charts and being arraigned on gun charges earlier this
month, the Detroit rapper talked Wednesday from Universal
Studios in Los Angeles, audibly tired after a grueling shoot
for his upcoming video, "The Way I Am."
With its brash take-me-or-leave-me declaration, the song is
Eminem's favorite from "The Marshall Mathers LP" -- "a
message to everybody to get off my back."
As he talked, occasionally profanely, about his whirlwind
June, Eminem offered a snapshot of a young man struggling to
celebrate his triumph while watching normal life slither
away.
It's a classic celebrity tale, to be sure: "You gotta be
careful what you wish for," he said. "I miss going to the
park and playing basketball. I was never that person who
wanted the big cars and (Mercedes) Benzes. All I really
wanted was to have a career in hip-hop."
Eminem isn't new to the fame game; he broke out last year
with "The Slim Shady LP" and two Grammys. But the new
album's success startles even the rapper himself. With 4
million copies sold in five weeks, including the
best-selling solo debut week in pop history, the 27-year-old
rapper now finds himself in the rarefied air of the
celebrity stratosphere.
Last year, he bought a house in Sterling Heights, figuring
his success had peaked.
"I didn't know I would be as successful as I am now," he
said. "It was like, 'I better grab this house now; I don't
know if any more money is coming.' I bought the house, got
it on the main road ...just figuring I might get a couple of
fans every once in a while. That was a big mistake."
He's miffed at the City of Sterling Heights, which during a
May 22 hearing permitted him to build a 6-foot fence around
the property -- a height Eminem said won't keep determined
fans out.
"I've got to have security guards sitting outside my house
now because they won't let me put a fence up. The other
night somebody hit one of them in the head with a
battery.... (People) coming to my house, knocking on the
door. Either they want autographs or they wanna fight. We've
had people getting in our backyard and swimming in our
pools."
He insists that he misses being a "regular person,"
bolstering that stance when he pauses the interview to order
a Burrito Supreme from an associate headed to Taco Bell. No
wine and caviar for Detroit's latest millionaire.
"Not only did I never think I'd get this big, it's like I'm
still refusing to believe it," he said. "I don't like having
security hold my hand to walk out to my mailbox. There's
something inside of me that refuses to believe I can't walk
down the street, or be as normal as I want to be."
It has been nearly two years since Eminem, who was raised
Marshall Mathers III on Detroit's east side, traveled to Los
Angeles in what became a successful quest to score a record
deal. In a voice markedly different from last year's -- when
he grumbled bitterly about his early struggle to make it in
Detroit -- he now talks wistfully about his days toiling at
local clubs such as the Palladium, Ebony Forum and the
Shelter.
"It doesn't seem that far away," he said. "These past couple
of years have really shot by for me. (Life) is speeding now.
Before I was famous, when I was just working at Gilbert's
Lodge, everything was moving in slow motion."
The past month has been a particular blur. Eminem is to
appear in a Macomb County court next Friday for a
preliminary examination on felony charges of assault and
carrying a concealed weapon. Police say the rapper hit and
threatened a man seen kissing Eminem's wife outside a Warren
nightclub on June 4 -- days after the new album debuted at
No. 1.
Royal Oak police have also charged Eminem with felony gun
possession for an incident the previous night, in which he
allegedly brandished a gun at an associate of Novi-based rap
duo Insane Clown Posse.
Each charge carries a maximum five-year prison sentence upon
conviction. Eminem's attorneys and public relations handlers
have advised him not to talk about the legal troubles, but
he's champing at the bit.
"I can't comment on it as much as I'd like to," Eminem said.
"All I can say is that it's the story of my life: Whenever
something good happens, the bad always follows. That's the
story of my life since the day I was born.
"I should have been out celebrating my record sales.
Instead, I'm sitting there in jail. Hopefully I can get
through this."
That his wife was at the center of the Warren incident
didn't surprise anyone who has kept tabs on Eminem's
personal saga, chronicled with brutal frankness in his
music. "The Marshall Mathers LP" features the dark "Kim,"
which re-enacts a raging fight between the two as their
daughter, 5-year-old Hailey, looks on.
"Me and the missus, we go at it. It's no secret that we've
had our problems, or that we're still having our problems,"
he said. "Once you bring a child into this world, it makes
it that much more complicated, especially when you don't get
along with someone. You're trying to make it work, you want
to make your family work, but (stuff) keeps happening that
(screws) it up."
The tension was manifested as Eminem struggled to get a
musical break.
"When we were younger, she supported everything I did. The
older we got, the more reality started to set in," he said.
"She's one of those people that's really down to earth, like
'Hello! You're living in fantasy land. These things don't
happen to people like us.' I was always the optimist, like,
yo, I'm gonna make this happen."
The resulting fame, Eminem said, has only caused more
marital trouble.
"Not to defend Kim, but I realize what has happened with me
has probably been a strain on her, too," he said. "It's a
crazy thing to deal with. You've really got to be in shape." |
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