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I Am Who I Am
The Guardian, April 2002 |
Easter in Royal Oak, Detroit. Royal
Oak is a reasonably well-to-do bit of Detroit, all futon
shops and oyster bars. Eminem lives 30 minutes' drive away,
in Manchester Heights, the very well-to-do bit of Detroit.
He's running late. He's bleaching his hair. A record company
person has bought boxes of clothes Eminem might like to be
photographed in. There's a selection of T-shirts bearing
silly slogans: "I * Groupies", "Stop Looking At My Crotch"
and so on. It's hoped he might wear one that says"I Fucked A
Backstreet Boy". Eminem's manager, Paul Rosenberg, isn't so
sure. "I think we're over the whole Backstreet Boys thing,"
he says. "We've moved on." Eminem (28) eventually rolls in
with daughter Hailie (6), brother Nathan (16) and Bizarre,
Kuniva and Proof, members of D12, his doughy-looking rap
crew of childhood pals. It's a modern family and that's the
way Eminem likes it. He looks well. Hailie trails beside him
with a carrier bag of colouring books. Nathan is Eminem's
very own Mini-Me - bottle-blonde hair, fast-food complexion,
D12 diamond pendant round his neck. Burger King is ordered.
Eminem sits on a couch and picks at his meal. He's not
happy. "Look at that! Goddamn."
The fries carton is suspiciously half-full. Brother Nathan
has beaten him to the food: "Little son of a bitch." A
presidential Rolex hangs from his wrist, a gift from his
record label after Eminem had, jokingly, rung up to complain
that fellow Detroit popstar Kid Rock had been given a
similar watch as a Christmas present from his record label.
He's also got a new tattoo, a rather spooky likeness of
Hailie, on his right forearm. He belches loudly. "Excuse
me."
Question:
On parts of your new album, The Eminem Show, you sound
angrier than ever.
Eminem:
Yeah, it's funny. It's like I need drama in my life to
inspire me a lot, instead of just trying to reach for
something. Last year was, like, a really rough year for me.
You know, divorce and trying to raise my little girl.
Obstacles are thrown at me - you've just got to fall or you
don't fall. And I can't fall.
Question:
Cleaning Out My Closet is the harshest attack on your mother
yet.
Eminem:
Yeah . . . It's a harsh record but I feel like my mother has
done some harsh things to me.
You just try your whole life to be able to get away from
that person and make a life for yourself and not have to
deal with it anymore. And it's so hard to break away. And
they keep coming back to haunt you, trying to weasel their
way into your life somehow. That's my closure song, I guess.
It's like I'm washing my hands of it. I'm cleaning out my
closet. I'm done.
Question:
What has your mother done this time?
Eminem:
Well, she started wanting to put her face out there and get
famous off of what I've done.
Every time I would see her on TV, or I'd see my father on
TV, I'd be, like, "What are you doing? Like, leave me
alone!" Do you know what I'm saying? That's all I ever
asked. Like, "Take your crazy asses and just stay where
you're at." It got to a point where I stopped subscribing to
the Detroit News because every day I'd be in the papers for
something. I'd be like, "What the fuck? How is this
newsworthy?" You know: "Eminem Takes A Shit", and there's a
picture of me in the paper wiping my ass. When I moved from
one house to the next, a news crew would follow me. And it
would be the top story on the news. Then they'd go into
(newsreader's voice): "Six kids got murdered in Detroit
today . . ."
Question:
How do you feel about the outcome of last year's court
cases? Do you think you were fortunate?
Eminem:
I was lucky because of who I am. They could have easily made
an example out of me, but also, it got so much attention.
Like anybody else this would have happened to would have got
a slap on the wrist and probation. But, of course, I am who
I am.
Question:
No drinking, no fighting, no purple pills - is that the deal
with probation?
Eminem:
Yeah. I can drink, but moderately. Which I really . . . I
won't say I don't . . . but I haven't done for a long time.
I almost wonder, do I see a reason to even start back again-
I've been clean for so long. I'm able to do things that a
couple of years ago I couldn't do without freaking out. You
know, trying to take care of a little girl and trying to do
the daddy things and trying to make the music, and do the
press, and trying to juggle all these things at once.
Question:
Do you think you mother will leave you alone now?
Eminem:
(Thinks) Nah. I could have dragged that out forever if I
wanted to. I was just like, "Shut up and leave me alone,
freak." Whether it's for a dollar or $10m, you're still
suing your son. It doesn't matter. The damage is done. I
don't know if she's happy with the money. I've heard that
her lawyer took most of it and left her with a couple of
grand. The court cases keep coming, though. If you have
nothing else and you haven't made nothing with your life,
then what the fuck? Why not? If Eminem says my name on a
record, why not get money, if you have nothing else? What
the fuck? I'd do it.
Question:
How many times have you been in love?
Eminem:
Once. And that's enough for me.
Question:
When you first became really famous you said you were going
to have to leave Detroit. But you're still here, and you've
made a movie about it.
Eminem:
Yeah, I'm comfortable now. It's died down but who knows
what's gonna happen now?
It's like, you put a fucking album out and your face starts
being everywhere and
suddenly people remember you again and camp outside your
house.
You know, it's like a love-hate relationship where I come
from. Which is, you know,
what most rappers will tell you.
Question:
How do you think 8 Mile will affect Detroit?
Eminem:
You know, I would love to see this city bring its income up
and everything. And if I can help that, then that's great.
Some local people don't seem very happy. Fuck them.
Everybody sees something wrong with everything I do. I read
so much bickering shit in the paper. (Redneck voice) "My
daughter waited for ages to see Eminem and he drove by us
and he waved and then he sent somebody back and gave my
daughter a T-shirt" - which I did - "but he wouldn't even
sign it." What? What the fuck? Yeah, we shut down some areas
[to make the film] and people were complaining. "Oh, they're
giving Warren a bad name."
Giving Warren a bad name? The fucking white-trash capital of
the world? I'm white trash,
so what the fuck? You can't tell me. I grew up in it. You're
gonna say I'm giving the city a bad name? Dummy, the city
already has a bad name. "You made the trailer park dirtier
than it was. You created extra dirt!" Shut the fuck up!
Question:
Some Eminem rumours put to rest (sort of). That he's had a
fling with Destiny's Child's Beyoncé.
Eminem:
No, me and Beyoncé are not fucking. I wish. She's beautiful.
All of Destiny's Child are beautiful. Oh, I love Beyoncé.
Question:
That he's having a fling with Kim Basinger:
Eminem:
Um, no, we're not fucking either. In the movie [8 Mile, in
which Kim Basinger plays his mother]
there's a scene where we kiss. She kissed me like a mother
would kiss a son. It was in the rehearsal. And the next day
it was in the paper that we were seen kissing on set and
holding hands and all this dumb shit. (Thinks) I would love
to, though.
Question:
That Debbie Mathers wanted Kim Basinger's part in 8 Mile?
Eminem:
What? That's retarded. What kind of fucking sense does that
make? I don't know if she did or not. I know that she was
bitching about Kim Basinger playing my mother and was
calling the movie people. They were, like, "Yo, your mother
keeps threatening to sue us." I'm like,
"Does she know that I'm not playing me in the film? I'm,
like, playing a kid named Jimmy?"
Question:
That he's addicted to painkillers?
Eminem:
Oh. Nah. That's untrue. Vitamins, maybe. I take my one a
day. And Echinacea. And vitamin C. Then there's my little
heroin problem, but I won't talk about that 'cause I'm on
probation and shit. But I do shoot up, like, a lot. I have
no veins left. They're all collapsed so I shoot up through
my dick. But hey, who doesn't?
Question:
That he's dead?
Eminem:
Now that's true. I'm chilling on my island somewhere,
drinking piña coladas.
Question:
That he's recorded a charity song with Limp Bizkit called
New World Order. Fred Durst raps the part of an American GI,
Eminem raps the part of Osama bin Laden?
Eminem:
I wouldn't do a fucking record with Limp Bizkit if I was on
a fucking plane that was crashing.
Eminem finishes having his photograph taken. It's time to
go. There's an album to be completed. He rounds up his
friends and relations and says his goodbyes. The last time
we see him he's walking side-by-side with Hailie. Hailie's
holding a giant toy bunny in one hand and a Smarties
McFlurry in the other. Nathan is jumping on Proof's back.
Proof is complaining that Nathan is trying to "bum" him.
It's a modern family. And that's the way Eminem likes it. |
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