Dress

1
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"You bastard!" She cries as I slam into her. Again. Fuck.

"Yeah- you *love* it," I whisper in her ear before biting her ear lobe gently.

"Shit… fuckme."

"I *am*," I grin before she bites my bottom lip and I kiss her deeply. Fuck. I pull out of her and throw my hips into her again, going deeper than before. Fuck… she's just got this incredible way of squeezing me… holding me inside her… "Shit- how do you *do* this to me?"

She giggles and swings one of her legs over my shoulder and this has gotta be by *far* the longest we've ever fucked.

"Same way you do it to me," she shrugs. "Chemistry," she sighs before digging those fuckin' nails into my hips and pulling me into her. "Shit, Em… more…" She pants. Begs. Either way- that's cool.

"You're insatiable, Bitch, ya know that, don't you?"

"Fuck yeah- you love it."

"No I don't," I lie.

She glares at me for a second before flipping us over quickly. I *love* when she does this- gets pissed. She pins me down, her hands holding my wrists above my head. "Oh no?"

"Nah," I say as she bites my lip again.

"You give?"

"Fuck no," I grunt as she pulls almost completely off me. "No- get back on!"

"You give?" She asks again, an evil glare taking over those penetrating green eyes. I *know* she'll walk away too. She did yesterday.

"Yes. I love it. Now please… fuck me."

She slams her hips onto mine and "FUCK!"

"Marshall!"

"Shit, Baby…"

"MARSHALL!"

"Huh? What?" I jump up and- fuck. I look around the room. Shit.

"Marshall- you woke me up again," Kim says softly, her hand on my forearm.

"I'm sorry, Baby," I whisper and lay back down. Shit. Again? And I'm hard too.

"'Sokay- just…" she slips her hand under the covers. "Jesus- you're hard as a rock, Hon. Whacha thinkin' about?"

"You, Kim, always you," I answer.

I lie.

------------
~*~*~*~*~

Twelve months.

Twelve. Months.

You'd think… after twelve months, I'd be able to find some sort of employment that I could handle. But if I just… knew what I wanted; it'd be easier. Unfortunately, that's not information I have.

It's probably why I've decided to leave job number five as well.

I mean- working at the clinic is meaningful, I guess. If you call having girls sign their babies away legally meaningful. Granted, someone needs to be there. But- it's just not what I had I mind.

Shit. I throw my keys on the table and my purse too.

I just wanna crawl into bed and just… zone.

I flip on the TV and go to the kitchen to make something for dinner.

"Meeeow."

"Yes, Yim, I'll fix you something too," I say. Yes- okay? I'm single and I talk to my cat.

< I get imaginative with a mouth full of adjectives, a brain full of adverbs
Half the stuff I say, I just make it up to make you mad
I'm glad I inspire you, but Stan, why are you so mad?
Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan.
I just don't want you some crazy stuff
I just wanna make a few things clear
My baby mama's not dead, she's still alive
I say that stuff just clownin', Dog
So just remember when I bomb your set
Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
I just said it- I ain't know if you'd do it or not
How the heck was I supposed to know?
Man, I hate this crap, this is crazy the way we act
When we confuse hip-hop with real life when the music stops>

I come rushing out of the kitchen and stare at the TV to where it's flashing pictures kids, headlines, newspaper articles… and there he is, close up and personal.

<"Yo. Remember, Kids- at the end of the day? It's just entertainment!"

The camera pans back and- "Hey, Dad?"

"Yeah, Hailie?"

"Can we go now?"

"Yeah, Baby. Let's go home." He takes her hand and they walk away from the camera as it fades to black.

"Entertainment is NOT a reason." The announcer states. "End the violence. Stop the hate."

At the bottom of the screen reads: This message brought to you by PAVOL and Eminem.>

Well- I'll be damned. Something actually came out of it.

I can't help but smile when I think of him.

And I think of him quite often.

How can I not?

2
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"Morning, Tiger," Kim says as I stumble into the kitchen.

"Coffee!" I mumble and walk like Frankenstein to the counter.

"AAHHH! It's the Coffee Monster!" Hailie screeches before tearing out of the room.

"HAILIE! GET BACK HERE AND EAT! YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" Kim yells after her and I pour myself a big cup of coffee.

Shit- last night… that damn dream… it's like a couple times a month- shit. For a fuckin' *year*.

"Would you go get her, Marsh?"

"She's *your* daughter," I tease.

"NO. When she's like *this*- she's *your* daughter. *All* yours."

"Fine. Fine," I say before kissing her softly and heading for Hai's room. "Miss. JAAADE! Get your cute tush out here, young lady!"

I glance in her room and she's not- I pause when I hear giggling from the hall closet. "Well, Kim, I can't find her! We'll have to dress the vacuum in her clothes and hope the teacher doesn't notice!"

I open the closet door and she's standing there with her hands on her hips staring at me. "That's not funny, Dad!"

"It's not funny when you run away from your mother!"

"Do I *gotta* go to school, Dad?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"Yes."

"Bu-"

"YES."

"B-"

"Stop it, Hailie. Go and finish breakfast. I'll drive you."

She stomps off toward the kitchen with a pout on her face. Shit- I'd *love* to have her home with me all the time- but… she's too smart to waste away at home. Plus- ya know- I don't feel like being arrested for endangering the welfare of a child.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"So- I hope you understand, Katie."

"Yeah- sure. I do. You… uh- have to do what's best for all involved."

"I just… I've gotta find my niche. Ya know?"

Katie, my boss at the clinic, sits down across from me and starts cutting up her pizza. "I understand," she says. "Have you ever considered that perhaps the job you abandoned *was* your niche?"

"Yes," I state. Because, honestly? I have thought that perhaps I haven't been able to find something that makes me feel useful is because I *had* the job I was good at. Fuck- I was *great* at it. And I walked away from it. "But… maybe that firm just wasn't meant to be. I don't know- I'm all confused and I just want to find something that I feel good about.Ya know?"

"Yeah. I get it, Rae. And more power to you- a woman in your position… strong enough to find her way, or try and find her way…"

"Thanks for your support," I say.

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

I flop down onto the bed. Shit- "Tired?" She asks.

I look up at her and smirk, "A little. You wore me out last night."

"You were pretty good yourself," she comments, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Plans for today?"

"Hittin' the studio. Got a couple beats in my head I wanna get down 'fore I lose 'em. Why?"

"Just curious." She's been actin' nervous and jerky for the past few weeks now. Just weird.

"Something the matter?" I ask, sitting up.

"Huh? No- nothing."

"Come on, Kim. I would think with everything we've been through- if something's on your mind- you would talk to me about it."

She turns to me and says, "Are we happy?"

"Huh?" That's just… out of the blue.

"I mean… are we happy? Here? Together? Are we… do you… love me?"

Shit. Fuck. What can I say to that?

"You *know* I do," I say before pulling her to me for a deep kiss.

<Ring. Ring.> Shit.

"Sorry," I say as I pick the phone up. "Hello?"
    
<"Em? I've got some uh… bad news.">

"Bad news? What up, Paul? Who's suing me *now*?" I laugh.

<"Um… The Source.">

"WHAT?!" I was *kidding*! Shit- when I am gonna stop *jinxing* myself?! "For what?!"

<"Putative damages due to decrease in sales.">

"What the fuck?! That ain't my problem!" I can't believe this. Fuck. What the hell?!

<"It gets worse."> Déjà vu.

"What?" I ask him, afraid to ask.

<"It appears that Benzino is *also* suing you.">

"WHAT? THAT MOTHERFUCKER? FOR WHAT?"

<"Defamation.">

God dammit. "Well- what the fuck are we gonna do?"

<"I'm workin' on it- we're all over it. But… I wanna call in another lawyer, if that's okay. Someone who has more of a specialty in this stuff.">

"Yeah- do whatever you need to. Hey- how much they suin' me for?"

<"Ten mil each.">

Fuckin' A! SHIT. I gotta- fuck. "I gotta go, Man."

<"I'll be in touch,"> he says.

MOTHERFUCKIN' PUSSIES!

"What's wrong?" Kim asks.

"Fuckin'… Benzino and the fuckin' Source are fuckin' suin' me for defamation and damages! GOD! Do I have a fuckin' sign on my forehead that says 'Sue me'?! SHIT!"

I grab a mug from the nightstand and throw it across the room. It shatters against the wall.

"Marshall," she says as she touches my shoulder. But I brush her off and head for the door. "Where you goin'?"

"To the studio," I say as I walk out. Fuck. I gotta get this shit off my fuckin' chest.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

<Ring. Ring.>

God- can I even get in the door?

"Hello?"

<"Raven Warner?">

"May I ask who's speaking?" I say, stepping out of my heels.

"Paul Rosenberg."

3
~*~*~*~*~

"Um... Hi?"

<"Hello. This is Raven, right?">

"Oh- yeah. What… I mean- why are you calling me?" God- it's been a year! Why the hell would his attorney be calling me?

Oh god- does he- <"I'm calling because I want to hire you.">

"Excuse me?"

I guess that answers *that* question. He doesn't kn- <"There's a situation, with Marshall. He's- well, he's being sued again. It looks bad. I wanted to… call in a specialist.">

"Huh? For what?"

<"For what, what?">

"What's he being sued for? A specialist for what? I guess basically- huh?" I'm so confused.

<"Why don't you come to Detroit and meet with me?">

"What? No. NO. I can't."

<"Please- it… you handled yourself *so* well last year and-">

"Do you even *know* what- I mean that he and I…"

<"Yeah- but that doesn't matter right now."> It doesn't? Coulda fooled me? It's mattered all year long to me! <"He's in trouble and-">

"Why call *me*? So fuckin'… out of the blue?"

<"You scared the hell out of us last year, Ms. Warner. You scared him so much that he settled, which he was hell bent on not doing. But- you terrified him. You're a good attorney. A *great* attorney. A pit pull. And that's what we need right now. I- would like to hire you onto his legal staff.">

"Huh?" I fall back onto the couch because this is just too much. After a year?

And what about- <"So- will you come to Detroit?">

"No," I repeat. "I'm sorry… I can't. I've got… *things*-"

<"Just come for one meeting. Please? What can it hurt?">

You have *no* idea, Mr. Rosenberg. You have *no* idea.

<"I'm not gonna stop calling unless you come here and go over the case with me. So you might as well accept it now.">

"Fine."

WHAT? Where did *THAT* answer come from?

<"Great! Now… when shall we expect you?">

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"I don't know- what do you think?"

She walks out of the bathroom wearing… shit. "Damn," I say, glancing over her. "Kim… you look… *hot*."

"Really? I just- don't know if it's me."

She went shopping today. "It's… amazing. Beautiful… c'mere!"

"NO," she slaps my hand when I try to pull her toward me. "Bad boy."

She walks over to the mirror and starts spinning around and looking at the dress. It's a really great dress.

"Are we ever gonna get married again?" She asks nonchalantly.

"WHAT?!" Perhaps that's not the *best* reaction when your ex-wife, current girlfriend and mother of your child asks that question. But- Jesus!

"Like it's out of the realm of possibility?" She asks, spinning around and looking at me. She's mad. What else is new?

"Kim! You don't just… *say* shit like that- you don't just… come out with shit like that."

"Why not? I was your wife before-"

"Yeah and look how that turned out! Why can't we just be happy with the way things are?"

"Because you- GOD, Marshall!" She throws her hands up in the air and starts taking the dress off. "You don't understand!"

"What? What the hell is wrong with you all of a sudden?" Shit- she's been acting weird for a *while*.

"Nothing. Whatever-"

"Kim, where is this coming from?"

"Marshall- do you even lo-"

<Ring. Ring.>

Fuck. I gotta- "Kim-"

"No. Just take it," she says, slamming the bathroom door behind her. Shit.

"Hello?"

<"Yo, Marshall- I got an attorney.">

"Really? Great. So what's gonna happen?"

<"Well- the lawyer's coming in tomorrow, so maybe we'll come over and we'll review the paperwork and strategize? Then we can call their attorney's and see if we can work something out.">

"Sounds good. When will you be here?"

<"Maybe noon-ish?">

"Sounds good. See you then, Paul." Well- at least *that's* going well.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"You sure you can handle this?" I ask her. "Because, Jenny- you don't have to-"

"God- would you go already? We'll be fine, me and Yimco can handle it, okay?"

"Are you *sure*?"

"GO!" My sister kicks me out the door, hugging me as she does. "It's a few days! Relax. GO! I'm good here."

"Call me if there's a problem!"

"I will! Okay? GO!"

Okay. I guess I'm going to Detroit.

4
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"You got those cracker things, Kim?"

"Yeah- they're in the cupboard. Like always."

I find the box and I guess I'll throw 'em in a bowl for now. Paul's on his way over with the lawyer he called in. We're gonna go over the suits and see what we can do about 'em.

"Think we should put out somethin' more?"

"Like what?" She asks, coldly. She's kinda moody, wonder why- ohno. What if-

Shit- "Kim?"

"Yeah?" She asks, turning with a knife in her hand.

"Um… never mind." I'll finish talking to her *after* she's done cutting the vegetables.

"What?!" She insists.

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

"What if I were?"

"But you're not-"

"What if I were?"

"DAMMIT, KIM! Just *answer* me!"

"MARSHALL!" Fuck. It's Paul- he's here.

"Kim-" I ask, slipping an arm around her waist. "If you were…"

"Don't," she says, pulling away from me. "Not now. Just don't."

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

Okay. HOLY SHIT. This place is a fuckin' *palace* and *why* did I agree to this again?

Oh yeah- I must have been smoking crack!

I mean… *damn*- I'd love to have this kinda money. And shit- I'm a *lawyer*. I *could* have this kind of money. I *should* have this kind of money.

"MARSHALL!" He screams into the house. But it's so big- shit… I could get *lost*.

"Paul- stop yelling!" I see a woman out of the corner of my eye and I turn toward where she came from. She's wearing a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt. Blonde. Blue eyed. And pretty. Bit of make-up on. Not *gorgeous*… but pretty. "Hi," she says, extending a hand, "I'm Kim."

"Uh- hi," I shake her hand. "I'm Raven, Rae."

"Rae? Pretty name. Come on in- Marshall is just getting some drinks together. Would you like something?"

"Um… sure-" god. I don't know what I was really expecting, but- "Whatever- water?"

"Water? Okay. Paul? Coffee?"

"Yeah- where we gonna sit?"

"Dining room if it's all the same. I figured you'd need a table."

"Yeah- especially since I've yet to even *see* the paperwork."

She disappears again and I glance at him and I guess I just didn't think to ask but- "Does he know *I'm* here? That you called me?"

"I'm gonna go check on those drinks for us-"

"Mr. Rosenberg- I'm a *lawyer*. NOT an idiot. You didn't tell him- did you?" I step closer to him and say, "You… fuckin' brought me *here* to meet his… what- wife? Ex-wife? Girlfriend? You- had *no* right."

"YES. I *do*. I'm desperate. We need… we need *you* on this. I can see it and so will he."

He leads me to room with a large table for twelve. There's a china cabinet with some oriental looking dishes in it. Pictures of Hailie on the wall…

God. This is a *disaster* waiting to happen.

^*^*^*^*^

"Why didn't you come out to meet her?"

"Who?" I ask and why is she jumpin' on my back. She *must* be pregnant. Man- she was bitchy when she was carryin' Hailie.

"The lawyer! She's pretty too."

"The lawyer?!"

"Yeah- the lawyer Paul got to help. They're in the living room."

God- I mean… what if- no. He wouldn't do that. Bring her *here*. A different lawyer- like there are plenty of women lawyers. Besides, she said she didn't *want* to be doing this type of law anymore. She's probably in the street somewhere filing complaints against people for better living conditions or something.

"Probably gonna tell me to pack up my money and go to Barbados or somethin'."

"Oh come on- it'll work out. I *know* it will."

"You *know* it will? Somebody sues me and- shit- the whole fuckin' *world* has a opinion." And she should know- she sued me too. "Whatever- is that for them?"

"Yeah. Coffee for Paul and Rae wants water."

"O-"

Did she say- Rae?!

Oh fuck no!

I walk down the hallway and peer into the dining room. OH HELL NO! HE DID *NOT* BRING… I MEAN… damn- she looks *good*.

I swear- her chest is… bigger… better… I don't know. Something is different about her. But- shit. I can't believe he would… *do* that!

"You gonna just stare or are you gonna come and meet her?" Kim asks, walkin' by me and heading into the room.

~*~*~*~*~

"Drinks are on the way," Kim says, placing some platters of food on the table.

"Well- I'd still like to just *read* the suit before we all go gettin' comfy. I mean… on what grounds do they stand? Is there any legitimacy to it? I've heard parts of the songs- but we'll need copies of them-"

"Bossy as ever, huh, Rae?"

I turn and he's standing there and shit he looks hot.

I mean… good. Well. Healthy. Good.

"Well- you know me," I say with a smirk. Damn. We didn't speak afterwards… I just left.

And oh how I wish I hadn't.

How many times have I sat up at night wondering- what would have happened had Rob not been there in the morning? Would things be different for us?

^*^*^*^*^

Oh my god. She looks so beautiful.

Shit- I only knew her for like… a few days, but I guess I missed her a little.

She… was a challenge.

She pissed me off in a way Kim doesn't.

"Wait a minute- you… *know* each other?" Kim asks.

Oops. Yeah- I never *told* her about that.

My bad.

5
~*~*~*~*~

Well- she *obviously* doesn't know I slept with her man. I guess maybe that's a good thing, then.

"Oh yeah- I told you about the lawyer- the girl who got the settlement started-"

"OH YEAH! That's you? Wow- that was… AMAZING!" She actually comes over and *hugs* me. She *hugs* *me*!

^*^*^*^*^

Oh my god- this just keeps getting weirder and weirder and I think Paul is laughing. Or at the very least smiling.

"Yo- can we… get goin' here?"

"God- is that the thanks you give to someone who got you out of payin' ten million dollars?"

Shit no. The thanks I gave her is a big fuckin' orgasm- but I'm not gonna tell *you* that. 'Cause Kim *definitely* wouldn't like that.

"I did thank her! But I'll thank her even *more* if she can get me outta this too."

~*~*~*~*~

I know how he can thank me.

I mean- by paying me of course.

God this is *really* awkward.

"Can I use the bathroom?" I ask. I gotta get outta here.

"Yeah- I'll show you," Kim says.

"No- sit down. Get off your feet. I'll show her," he says.

^*^*^*^*^

I point her down the hallway and I follow closely behind her. But not too close. Hmm…

"So- uh… he didn't tell me he was callin' *you*. I never woulda-"

"Don't worry about it," she shrugs.

"Yeah… well- I can't be the *only* one who this is… awkward for-"

She turns around and looks at me. "Yeah… okay, it's awkward. But- I knew it would be. Paul said you needed help, so I'm here to try and help. Okay? I don't see why we even need to *dwell* on the… 'other case'."

~*~*~*~*~

Oh my god. Being this close to him again… I just wanna… reach out and *grab* him… touch him… throw him up against the wall and have my wicked way with him…

But that would be bad. It can't happen. Just like I said. Never again.

"So… let's just try and… deal with the facts of this case."

"Right- facts of the case," he repeats and opens the door to the bathroom for me. "Okay, then."

I walk in and almost close the door but he stops me. "*Thank* you… ya know- for comin' here. You didn't have to. So… thanks."

"You're welcome, Marshall," I say with a soft smile.

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

I can't help but watch her.

She's… gorgeous. Intelligent. Funny. Did I mention gorgeous?

Oops. I dropped my pencil. Guess I'll have to bend over and take a look at those legs. Although she don't got a skirt on, I can *remember* those legs. Wrapped around me. Over my shoulders. Shit… don't get hard, Marshall.

"Well?" Paul says when she closes the file.

"You're in deep shit," she says.

"Gee, thanks for the positive outlook, there, Rae. I appreciate it."

"Hey- I'm just tellin' you what I see. However- they have a *big* burden to *prove* that their sales did decrease *and* that it was because of *you*. That's hard to do. So if I were you, I'd concentrate on the opposite."

"What? What do you mean?"

~*~*~*~*~

Okay. Truth? I would *love* to be on this case. Oh my god. If *I* were to do this… shit. I'd have a *field* day with this.

"Well- if I were your lawyer, I'd go the opposite way and try and prove that either they sold *more* magazines because people were curious about what you were saying. OR on the extreme- they stopped selling because of the *lack* of you."

"What do you mean?" Kim asks. She's been sitting there the past couple hours. We've been pouring over the files and just talking about what's been goin' on with the whole 'feud' thing.

"Well… since he started dissin' 'em- they haven't been covering him as much- right? Isn't that what you said? There has been less coverage?"

"I think so-" Em says.

"Well- you'd prove that first off and then say- the reason they aren't selling as much as before is because they aren't covering you as much, so people aren't buying because of *that*. Not because of what you're saying, but because of what they're doing. Make it their fault."

^*^*^*^*^

She's brilliant!

She throws her pencil onto the table and leans back, hands behind her head. "First rule of civil cases? Make it the other person's fault."

"Can you do that?" Paul asks. "Would that be it?"

"What *I* would do?" She asks. "I'd sue *him*."

"What? What do you mean?"

"File a counter suit against Benzino alleging the same exact things- defamation, punitive damages, threats… sue him for the same exact thing."

"What the fuck would *that* accomplish?" I ask. I mean… what the hell?! *I* don't sue people. I get sued.

Paul gives me a look. What? What'd I do?

"Don't be so fuckin' *rude*, *Eminem*," she snaps. "Let's remember *who* called *whom*. I got things to do at home. I came here as a *favor* to *you*."

Oh. I guess I did say that sort of mean. I guess. "Look- whatever. I just- don't see how that would-"

"You sue him for the same thing. Therefore- if the judge is gonna give *him* a favorable ruling, the same would have to apply to you, since it really is the same thing. He's just tryin' to get rich off of it."

"He goads me into it and then sues me for it? And *I'm* gonna sue *him*?"

"Yes," she states.

"Oh."

"That's brilliant!" Kim exclaims.

"Yeah- well… now you've got your strategy," she says. "Now if you don't mind- I'm going to my hotel and then I'm going *home*."

"Marshall can take you!"

"What?" I ask, looking at her in shock. "Kim- I-"

"You promised Hailie you'd pick her up today. Drop Rae off and you'll have plenty of time to get to the school."

"Kim, I don't think-"

"It's stupid for Paul to go out of his way. Jesus, just *take* her already!"

Kim, I already *did*.

6
-------------
~*~*~*~*~

Well… this is… *awkward*. To say the least.

I mean… god… this was just a *bad* idea to come here and-

<Ring. Ring.> Oh thank god.

I glance at the caller ID and smile. "Holla," I answer.

<"Bit ghetto, doncha think?">

"Maybe- what's up?"

<"Just thought we'd say hi!">

"And how is everyone?"

<"Good. Me and Yimmy are holdin' down the fort. We took a nap earlier too.">

"Yeah? How's my baby?"

<"You *know* she's all good. Fed. Clean- oh and you can totally thank me! I cleaned out your kitty litter!">

"Oh- thanks! Remind me to repay you for that later!"

^*^*^*^*^

I smile, remembering the time when she was on the phone talkin' about her pussy… I mean- her cat. I shouldn't *think* about her pussy.

"Although I don't know *how* I could…"

Wonder if she's got a boyfriend. Wonder if she ever got back with Rob. God- there's a lot I wonder about. This don't have to be weird, does it?

"Okay… yes. Take care of her, okay? Make sure she sleeps and tell her that her mummy will be home soon… yes. Yeah- I'll give a call later… I promise. I love you too. Tell my baby I love her too- give her a hug and a kiss for me. 'Kay- bye."

She loves that damn cat, doesn't she?

"Boyfriend?" I ask.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no. It was my sister. She lives with me now. Sort of- it's complicated."

"Don't I know it. Look-" I pull the car over on the side of the road and turn toward her. "I was… expecting to at least *see* you- you just took off-"

"It was best," she answers. High horse bitch.

"Where do you get off? Deciding what's best for everyone?"

"I got your case taken care of, didn't I? I just saved your ass on this one too, didn't I?"

"Oh like I couldn't have taken care of it myself!" God- she's just… ANNOYING. Shit.

She turns away from me and stares out the window. "Just drive. I wanna go home."

"Fine."

~*~*~*~*~

Like I can afford another argument with him- look what the *last* one cost me!

"I tried to call y-"

"No you didn't," I say. "I never got a call-"

"I only had your work number. They wouldn't give me your home number."

"I was in the book."

"Alls I'm sayin' is that I'm not the type to fuck and run, ya know?"

"OH PLEASE!" I exclaim. "Don't even PLAY that line with me!"

"FUCK YOU! You don't even *know* me!"

"I know *enough*. Tell me- how many adult fans have you fucked, huh?"

"Not as many as you obviously *think*- and what's wrong with that? I'm a man-"

"Right!" I turn toward him as he drives. "And I'm *sure* you really *hate* being admired and have women panting for you so bad they're wet!"

"*You* were wet," he spits back.

Shit. This is *exactly* how we ended up here in the first place!

"Fine. I was- whatever. I was just not foolish enough to expect a call."

"I *tried*."

"Whatever. It's done. You got your strategy now. I can go home and we can pretend we never met."

"Fine with me," he says coldly.

^*^*^*^*^

After a few seconds, I hear her say "not like we were madly in love or anything" softly.

"Maybe not- but… god- you took off. I got a phone call from *Paul* about the case. You couldn't even stop by and tell me yourself?"

"Well, excuse *me* for not wanting an *awkward* conversation like *THIS* is!"

A few more minutes of silence.

"So- do you like the new CD?"

"Oh for Pete sake! Can we *not*? We're not *friends*. I don't even *like* you!" She protests. A bit too much for my taste.

"FINE!" I scream. God- I *hate* *WOMEN*. Why can't I find a *good* one? I mean… DAMN. It's a *sad* day when Kim and my *mother* are the *best* a place has to offer.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

We pull up to the hotel and he drives around back to park.

I just wanna get home. To my apartment and my sister, my kitty and-

"There a snowball's chance in Hell that you'll do this for me?"

"What?"

"*Please*," he says. "I… Paul's right. Kim's right. You're a brilliant attorney and I need you on this."

"It's a bad idea if-"

"I would *really* appreciate it," he says.

"Marshall- I'm sorry… I just have too much going on and-"

"One million dollars."

"What?!"

"I'll give you a million bucks to represent me on this."

"God- is *THAT* what you think this is about?!" I get out and slam the door.

He does the same. "THEN WHAT?! GOD! All I'm fuckin' askin' is that you take the damn cases and help me kick 'em to the curb!"

^*^*^*^*^

I pull her suitcases out of the trunk and she goes to grab them. "I'll carry 'em," I say.

"I can carry my own luggage," she says snottily. "I'm not some helpless woman!"

"Did I *say* you were helpless? Why ya gotta be so difficult?!"

"Difficult? You're the one that's makin' it difficult!"

"Fine! Take 'em." She takes them from me and I follow her into the hotel, though I don't know why. Oh yeah- she hasn't answered me yet.

She checks in and gets her key.

She gets onto the elevator and I stand, holding the door.

"WHAT?!" She yells.

"Will you? Just… take the money and represent me for this shit?"

"*Why*?"

"Because…" shit. "Because I *trust* you. And I don't do that much… so-"

~*~*~*~*~

I can certainly relate to that. Trust doesn't happen with me too much either. And that is what, I concluded, was the reason Rob and I never would have made it. I didn't trust him. I loved him. But I didn't trust him. I don't trust men.

Still, this is a nightmare waiting to happen. Especially with- the *situation* being as it is.

"Will you?"

"Yes," I answer. God am I stupid?! What am I gonna do about M-

"*Thank* you."

"You're welcome," I answer. "Now can I go upstairs and take a shower?"

Shit- I practically shiver when his eyes run down my body and back up. Fuck. Wrong idea to give him a picture of me naked.

Although… if he's anything like *me*- he'd have thought about me naked every week this past year. I know *I* thought about *him* that much, if not more.

"You… uh… want me to come up wit' you?"

"No."

^*^*^*^*^

"Nah- not like… I just… elevator… thought you would rather not go on alone…"

"I'll be okay," she says. "But thanks."

Good. Probably shouldn't be in too close quarters and what I am thinking?! Shit- especially with Kim pregnant. I can *not* get involved with Rae again. Not that we were really *involved* to begin with… whatever.

I move out of the door's way and she pushes the button for her floor. The door begins to close and she says, "I woulda done it for half."

"I woulda paid double," I say before the doors close completely.

I guess I got me an attorney.

7
-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, it's me," I say, falling back onto the bed.

<"HEY HONEY! How's it goin'?! When'll you be home tomorrow?">

"I uh… won't."

<"WHAT?!">

"I… agreed to represent him."

<"ARE YOU FUCKIN' CRAZY?! WHAT ABOUT- OH MY GOD! ARE YOU NUTS, RAE?!">

"So it seems," I answer her. "Listen, Jen, I'm gonna talk to 'em tomorrow and find out what's gonna go on- we'll probably have to go to Boston to meet, I guess."

<"Honey… but- Boston?">

"I know- I know. But- it's like… sooner or later… ya know? Anyway- I'm not sure what'll go down. You might have to come here with Megan and Yimco."

<"I don't know if Yim would wanna travel. Best leave her at home, doncha think?">

"Well- I'm gonna get a million dollars for this case."

<"A MILLION DOLLARS?!">

"Yeah- he's desperate. So-"

<"Does he know about…">

"No. Not yet. But… it's a million dollars to put away. And that's worth moving here temporarily. We'll play it by ear. Okay?"

<"Fine. Just… let me know. Okay?">

"Yeah."

<"Rae-Rae?">

"What, Jenny?"

<"*Please* don't get involved with him again. Nothing can come of it- you've got other stuff goin' on and you *know* that-">

No I don't. But… shit. I guess I do. Jesus- he's *with* someone. The mother of his *daughter* for god sake. What- I'm gonna walk in and he's gonna drop his family because we had one good night?

<"Just please don't go investing a future in this. Okay? Figure out how to get this over with ASAP and then just put it behind you. Stand your ground. Promise me.">

"I promise, Jen. I do."

<"Alright.">

"So… how's Megan?"

<"She's really good…">

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

I'm sittin' at the kitchen table and I really love this beat. Obviously- I'm killin' it like crazy.

Ooo… that's a good one.

"What's funny?" Kim says, slipping her arms under my arms around my chest.

"Hey, Kim," I say. She kisses my cheek and my neck and my shoulder. "Kim…"

"Comin' to bed soon?" She asks, her voice low and sensual. She slips her hand down my stomach and slips it into my pants.

"Shit, Kim…" I turn and pull her lips to mine, my hand on the back of her neck.

Ya know… Kim always manages to feel really good. I put my pencil down as she rubs my dick.

She pulls away and smiles. "Comin'?"

"I would be- will be…"

"Then come to bed," she says softly with a smile.

"Okay," I nod. This can wait. "I'll be up in a minute."

"Alright." She heads up and I just gotta put these last few words down… there.

-------------

"Fuck… Marsh…"

God… she slams down onto me again and fuck… she always feels so good. Always did.

"Kim… baby…" I slip my hand between her legs and roll her clit between my fingers. She starts moving faster and that's what *I'm* talkin' about. "Fuck…"

"Baby… deeper," she moans, "shit, yes… make me come," she begs.

I squeeze her clit and that's enough and she cries my name and I wonder what Rae's doin'-

"FUCK," I scream as I come.

Shit.

She collapses on top of me and I wrap an arm around her and hold her. Shit.

Her breathing slows and shit- I remember the *first* time we ever did this… it was… well- it was her *first* time and she cried afterwards. She didn't think it would hurt. And I guess I wasn't the *best* boyfriend to have at the time, because I was just a teenage kid myself and didn't know what to say to her, so I just held her and let her cry.

"It's not the same, is it?" She whispers.

"Huh? What? What isn't?" I ask.

"Us."

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

<"And she did this really cute little thing with her face- like a little smile.">

"Oh- yeah- I think I know what you're talkin' about. She did it the other day."

<"Oh- it's so cute! She's just so beautiful!">

"Yeah… well… was there every any doubt?" I ask. "But listen, girl- I'm tired. I'm gonna get some shut eye."

<"Okay- will do.">

"Night. And make sure you kiss my babies for me. Okay?"

<"I will, I will. Night.">

I hang up the phone and close my eyes. God- I miss her.

I gotta get home. I gotta work something out.

Tomorrow.

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"What are you talkin' about, Kim?"

"Us. Or… the lack of it."

"What do you mean? We're… I mean-"

She rolls off me and turns on her side to look at me. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," I answer. I told her that.

"But are you *in* *love* with me?"

"Kim, where is this comin' from?"

"Answer the question, Marsh. Are you in love with me?"

"Kim-" I look into her eyes and… I guess we *both* know the answer to that. "No. Are you-"

"No," she shakes her head. "I thought… maybe… but-"

"What about the baby?" I ask. I mean… it don't matter if-

"*What* baby?"

"I thought you were-"

"I never said that. You assumed. Why- I don't know…"

"'Cause you'd been… sorta moody- cold."

"Well- I've been tryin' to talk to you about this for weeks."

"So you're not pregnant?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

Well… I guess that's *good* then 'cause I *really* didn't want another baby. One is plenty, thank you very much. Hailie is enough daughter for me.

"So…"

"Yeah," I sigh and pull her against me.

We just lay still the rest of the night.

8
-------------
~*~*~*~*~

How did my life get so damn complicated? I'm just so tired and this day ain't gonna be much better. I just wanna go home and forget about this whole mess. Jen was right. She had wisdom beyond her years. She said 'why would ya ever wanna be a *lawyer*. It looks like too much work.' And she was *so* right.

Not that being home would make it any better. Things got so messed up this year. Not that I'm not *happy* with my life now, because I am. God- January was *so* bad. What was I even *thinking*? Or was I thinking at *all*? Clearly not.

I should have handled things completely different. But I didn't.

And now I'm here and… god. I love him. I love his music… his voice… his body. But isn't that just adoration? He and I are *so* different.

But we're the same too…

I just don't know what I feel for him…

Oh. Door opening. Time to be the levelheaded attorney.

"Come on in, we were just gonna sit down and talk about this. Miss. Raven Warner, this is Peter Paterno, lawyer for Aftermath, and Theo Sedlmayr, Marshall's other lawyer."

"Hi," I shake their hands and we take a seat at the large table in the conference room.

"*This* is the brilliant legal mind that will be heading up the defense," Paul says. "Now- let's get down to business…"

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

I walk into the bedroom where Kim is folding clothes and putting them on the bed. "Whacha doin'?"

"Packing."

"Oh- why?"

"Are you for real?" She asks.

"Kim-"

"It's not like we're gonna married, Marshall. What did you expect?"

"I'm not gonna kick you out *today*, Kim. No rush…"

"Yeah, well- I shouldn't have my stuff in your room."

"Kim-"

She looks at me and says, "It's okay. I'm not *mad*. God- I'm not even that *upset*."

"I know what you mean," I say and sit on the edge of the bed while she folds more clothes. "I wasn't gonna say it though."

"Just not meant to be. At least we can't say we didn't try."

"What about Hailie?" I ask.

"Well… we managed before I moved in… and we'll manage again. Maybe I can get Dawn to take Whitney for a night and we can have a talk with Hailie."

"Probably best. But- maybe you shouldn't pack it all until she knows."

"I guess… maybe you're right. Then when?"

"Are you that amped about gettin' away from me?" I ask with a smirk.

"I just… don't wanna drag it out this time. Ya know? Last time was sorta… painful."

"Well- I was thinkin'… what if she could still have us- in one house?"

"What are you saying? That I stay here?"

"Well- what if we were to like… I mean- you could take one of the extra bedrooms and then maybe we could like… build a guest house or something in back. The yard's big enough for a three or four bedroom house. Then at least, I'd know you were safe. And Hailie could just… ya know- *not* have to move everything."

"You don't have to… do that, Marshall. If you want me gone-"

"No. That's just it, Kim. If anything- this past year has been really… nice. For Hailie. For us, well… ya know- me and you, bein' with her. I don't wanna give that up. So- we could even hire somebody to build an addition on the back, instead of a separate house. Like… a three bedroom apartment- for you, Hai and Whit."

"That… actually sounds kinda nice."

"Kim?"

"What?"

"Can I tell you somethin'?" I don't even know *why* this matters. Because it doesn't. But-

"Sure- what?"

"Ya know- I… like- last year, when I went to Miami with Raven… it's like- shit. I slept with her."

"What?!"

"I mean- it's not like we were together at the time. I mean- just that once, but-"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Just because…"

"Because you like her," she says with realization in her eyes.

"Huh? No I don't."

"Yeah you do. I saw the way you looked at her yesterday."

"WHAT? That's *so* crazy. She's like… the *most* annoying person I've ever met. Opinionated and bitchy and-"

"And you *like* her," she insists. "I mean… there must have been *something* about her if you… were *with* her."

"You're not mad. are you?" I ask, because I was expectin' her to scream. Or at least… that's what *would* have happened.

"The truth? No… what does that say about *us*?" She asks.

"I guess it means that we're finally over."

"Wow," we both say at the same time and she sits down beside me.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"So basically- that's where we're heading. If you want to write that up, we'll file first thing tomorrow morning. We need the information on magazine sales- who would we talk to about that?"

"I'll take care of it," Pete says.

"Okay- so… we're ready to move forward, then. Right? I'll also file for the actual case to be somewhere besides Detroit and Boston so there's no connection to Em or Mr. Scott."

"Sounds good, Rae," Paul says. "So- shall we call it a night?"

"Sounds like a plan! I'm exhausted!" I say, throwing my pencil and legal pad down on the table.

I sit while Pete and Theo leave. Paul comes back in and sits opposite me. "Wanna get some dinner?"

"I'd love to," I say. "I'm *starving*. But- I'll probably just order room service so I can get the suit written and ready to go."

"Just take a couple hours," he says.

"Alright. You convinced me, but it's under duress!"

-------------

"So- how long do you think this will take?"

"Cases like this? Few months- depending on where we can see a judge and when. Maybe four?"

"Are you planning on going back to L.A.?" He asks me.

"Well- for a million dollar prize- I figure it wouldn't be terrible if I moved here for a few months. But… I've got… family there."

"Bring 'em with you. Em told me that he'll front the bill on your living expenses."

"No he won't. Well… he can't front it. But it gets taken out of the million. Understood?"

"Deal. We'll get you moved into the penthouse suite of the hotel, if that's okay with you."

Hmm… the penthouse? Nah- that's just… "That's fine," I smile. "You're very persuasive."

"That's how I can work with Marshall."

"He listens to you? Trusts you?"

"Yeah."

I take another sip of my seltzer. We ended up in a little bistro and the steak is really great.

"So- what would have to happen to hire you as permanent counsel for Em?"

"Excuse me?!" I say, practically spitting out my drink.

"Didn't meant to shock you, but- you're good. I've told you we think so. And… he gets sued so often that-"

"Look. These this matter. After that- I have family and obligations and-"

"And this job can give you excitement that Em said you were lacking in your other job. You would travel… handle various types of cases- civil, corporate and with any luck *not* criminal again. But- it'd be a variety of things for you to do…"

"I have prior obligations that-"

"That you could bring with you. Just… promise me you'll think on it?"

"I will."

I will indeed.

9
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"So… what else?"

<"Well- she agreed to move here for now- for this. I thought it'd be easier if we were at least central- since we might have to go somewhere else for the actual appearance in court.">

"Wow- that's… great! So she's definitely gonna stay on?"

<"For this. But… I uh… well-">

"What, Paul?"

<"Well- I offered her a job.">

"WHAT?!"

<"She'd be good to have on your legal staff and management, Em. You *know* that. She's smart. She's got a variety of experience and she can get you to do stuff we can't.">

"That's because she's scary," I say jokingly. But really… she has a small element of… fright. Probably *because* she's so smart.

<"Well- either way, she didn't seem too fond of it due to some family stuff, I guess.">

"Yeah- she's close with her sister."

<"Still- wouldn't hurt if you *tried* to *not* antagonize her too much. She's be really good for your staff.">

Okay. He's right. I'm not gonna *tell* him that. But he's right. "Whatever."

<"You *know* I'm right, Marshall. Anyway- she went down to the court house today and filed the counter suit against Benzino. And we're basically gonna try and get some research and numbers about the Source's sales next week.">

"Good. Um… Paul? Me and Kim are-"

<"Please don't tell me you're gonna get married again!">

"No. No. She's- well- we're over."

<"What?! I don't get it.">

"Believe me, I don't either," I say. "But- we're over. She's… well- we're gonna break it to Hailie this weekend."

<"What happened? I thought you were-">

"We were convenient. And it's not good enough for either of us. Just… took us a while to catch on. Anyway- it's not gonna be the nightmare it was last time, so just relax, Dog." I *know* where his mind is right now. Suicide attempts. Weapons charges. Lawsuits. Reconciliation. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

<"I wasn't-">

"Yeah you were. But… I get it. So that's what we'll be doin'. You need me any next week? I mean- it's basically all up to you guys, huh?"

<"Pretty much. But if you could get us all the lyrics from you and if you got 'em from him- that would be good. She wants to have examples.">

"Aight. I'll work on it. Maybe I'll drop it off Sunday or somethin'."

<"I think it's safe if you *don't* have much contact with her.">

"Why? I can handle it."

<"Like you *handled* it before?">

Well- I think I *handled* it pretty good before. She seemed to enjoy it too. But… not gonna think about that.

"But I wasn't *prepared* last time. I'm prepared this time. I promise- I'll just drop it off and leave."

<"Fine. Just… don't do anything bad.">

"I promise I *will*," I say before hanging up too quick for him to yell. He he. I just like to fuck with him every now and then!

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"Should I come back and help?" I don't know if she can really handle the whole… responsibility thing. It's not fair to her to have to take care of this without my help.

<"I think I can manage. You got a fridge and shit, right?">

"Yeah, Jen. It's just like an apartment. Kitchen, stove… all that. Two bedrooms, which is fine. Is Meg ready to go?"

<"Yup! I gotta pack some of her fav toys. I don't know how I'll work it on the plane- how they'll want me to carry her and stuff- but I'll make it. We'll make it. Don't worry.">

"When do you leave?"

<"Tomorrow afternoon. Three. Anything *you* need from here?">

"Maybe grab a couple pairs of jeans, a few t-shirts and my three other suits?"

<"Okay. Got it. No problem. We'll see you then?">

"And Yimco's ready to go too?"

<"Yup. Mark is gonna help me to the airport.">

"Isn't that sweet. He hasn't been staying there, has he?"

<"No. No. You said no, so no. He came over last night to watch a movie but he left afterwards.">

"Okay." I don't really *like* my sister's boyfriend being there when I'm not. I realize that she's almost twenty and that she can make her own decisions, but… it's not like she has the *best* track record as far as decision-making. She's made some pretty bad ones and I just don't want him staying in *my* house.

<"So I'll catch a cab then?">

"No. A limo, I've been told, will be waiting. I think I may come over. I'm not sure. Paul's gonna call me and give me more details now that he knows your flight plans."

<"Kay. Love you.">

"Love you too. Give my babies kisses and hugs, okay? Tell them I'll see them soon and that their mommy loves them?"

<"Yes. Yes. Bye.">

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

Oh my god. This is like… the hardest thing we're ever gonna have to do together.

"Hailie- we've… gotta talk about something," Kim says.

"What, Momma?"

"Hai," shit. How do you tell your kid this? "Hailie- ya know how Mommy and Daddy have been living together this past year?"

"YEAH! And I've been with Daddy all the time!" Kim winces a bit. It really hurts her that Hailie is so amped about time with me. She *knows* that it's because Hailie knows I travel a lot and that she takes advantage of the time she *can* be here… but it still hurts Kim. That's why I'm glad she agreed to let me put the addition on the house. At least Hailie can have us both still.

"Well- that's not gonna happen too much anymore," I say.

"What? Are you leaving again, Daddy? For a couple months?"

"No, Hailie. Mommy and Daddy aren't going to live together anymore."

"What?" She says and oh my god- the light just died out of her eyes. I just… I just killed my daughter's happiness. Tears well up in her little eyes and she tries to hold them back. "I don't understand."

"Oh Hailie," Kim pulls her into her arms and I move in on the other side of her and move my arm around them both. "It just… Mommy and Daddy love each a lot, we just don't love each other in the right way- not to be together or married."

"But… we moved back in, Mommy," Hailie says sniffling a bit.

"I know, Baby. I'm sorry… Daddy and I thought it might work. We hoped it would. It just-"

"Ya know what, Hai?" I kiss her forehead and continue, "Sometimes things just don't work out the way you would like them to. But then something else happens that's pretty good."

"Do I gotta leave too, Mommy?" Hailie says. "I could live with Daddy and visit you an-"

I glance at Kim and I wish I could apologize to her or make her feel better. I know that hurts her. God- this whole thing sucks.

"Hailie Jade," I say, "that's not very-"

"No, Marshall, just let it go," she says, placing a hand on my arm. "Hailie- we think we came up with a solution though."

"What's that?" She asks.

"Well- it's not like before, Hailie- when me and Daddy had to live apart. Daddy and I are both friends, Honey and we want what's best for you. So… we're going to build a place for you and me to live *with* Daddy."

"Huh?"

I pull Hai into my lap and explain. "What Mommy's sayin' is that you and Mommy are gonna have a special place behind this house. We're gonna build more house here for Mommy to live separately from me, but you can still have us both in one place. Does that sound good? You'll still get to live with me and Mommy?"

"Yeah," she says quietly.

"Me and Mommy just aren't gonna be sleeping in the same room anymore. That's all. Okay?"

"Uh huh," she says. "Is it okay to be sad?"

"Of course, of course," I say.

"Hai?" She looks at Kim. "It's okay to cry too, if you want."

"Okay," she sniffles before falling onto the bed between us and crying. We both lay down and hold her as she does.

10
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"So… how do you think she is?"

"I don't know, Kim. She's been quiet."

"You goin' somewhere?" She asks me.

"Yeah- I gotta get this shit to Rae. She wanted all the shit that went between Benzino and I, so I burned her a CD with all of it and I got most of the lyrics. Can you believe kids already have the lyrics online?"

"Wow… they certainly get stuff quick."

"Shit yeah. You think you'll be okay if I go for a couple hours?"

"Yeah, we'll be fine."

"I told her I was goin' out already."

"Oh, okay."

I grab my keys and head for the door. "HEY!"

"What's up?"

"If you… no. Never mind."

"What, Kim?" I *hate* when people *don't* say what they want.

"If you wanted to… *date* her… or something, I-"

"Kim, don't-"

"I wouldn't stop it. I mean- I wouldn't be behind a wedding or anything, but-"

"Kim…"

"No. It's important that you know, that *we* say it. We'll… find other people. And it's okay."

"I don't *like* her," I say. God, how hard is that to get?!

"Fine. Tell her I said hi."

"Bye, Kim."

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"I am *so* happy to have you guys here, Jen! It already feels a bit more like home, ya know?"

"It's nice. Slept like a baby, I did, Rae. You should spring for this more often! A mil'll definitely get us a nice place!"

"*Us*?"

"Hey- you need me! Who else is gonna help Yimmy get over her jealousy of Meg?"

"Yimco is a *cat*, Jen. I don't think she's jealous!"

"Sure she is," she says, picking up my cat. "You don't see the sad wittle wook in her eyes."

<Knock. Knock.>

"Who the hell could that be?"

"Paul said he might be dropping some stuff of," I say, walking to the door. I open it and- "Um… I… wasn't expecting-"

"Hello to you too. Can I come in?"

"Oh- sorry. My bad. Come on in." God, he's hot. I didn't forget that. He's got a black hoody and white t-shirt with black pants to match, Adidas. White do-rag. D12 hat. Fuck. No. Keep it cool.

"Ah!" My sister jumps up, practically throwing the cat and runs over to us. "HI! I'm Jen, the younger sister."

"Um- hi."

"You'll have to excuse my sister, she's a bit… over exuberant."

"I'm hyper- you don't have to hide it, Rae, even though you're ashamed!"

"Ashamed?! I'm not ashamed of *that*- of you in general, maybe…"

"OH BITCH!"

"SHH! God- that was loud. You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

^*^*^*^*^

Okay- watching two girls yellin' at each other, this side of cat fight- very arousing. Or it *would* be. Ya know- if I liked her.

"Yo, so I got that stuff Paul said you wanted."

"Stuff?" She asks. "Oh- Jen, can you excuse us?"

"Sure- go ahead." Her sister plops down on the couch and grabs a bowl of popcorn.

"Good*bye*," Rae says and shoos her away. "Sorry. She's… kind of a pain in the butt."

"It's okay- I get it. I got a younger brother."

"IS HE SINGLE?" I hear her sister say through the crack in the door.

~*~*~*~*~

"JENNIFER LYNN WARNER!!!" The door shuts the second I start headin' for it. "Sorry," I smile as I turn back to him.

"No problem," he says with that cute little scrunched mouth thing that he does. Shit. This is a whole *BIG* idea of *BAD*. Things are just too complicated now. "So anyway- here it is. All the lyrics I could find and I burned you a copy of all the songs that have gone back and forth."

"Are they in order?"

"Oh- yeah, yeah."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Well… I appreciate *this*- you comin' here, stayin'… if I can get you anything, just-"

"I'm fine. Thanks." I take the envelope from him. "So… what the hell is there to do in Detroit?"

"I could take you… both someplace sometime. The mall, movies, whatever- show you around a bit, if you wanted."

"Look," I say, because this is too weird. "*Obviously*, Kim doesn't know that we-"

"Kim and I broke up."

^*^*^*^*^

Shit. If I didn't know better, the look on her face actually looks *happy*… relieved… glad… shocked… hopeful? What's she hopin'?

"What? When?"

"Pretty much now. But I think we've both known for a while. Ya know- the other night we got to talkin' and it's just… not the same, as it was."

"Sit down," she says as she sits. I sit across from her in a chair and she leans toward me, elbows on her knees. "Sorta like Rob and me?"

"Huh? Yeah… I guess, maybe… what ever *happened* with that?"

"Well- we- he was… *really* angry, upset. Couldn't deal. I guess he was in love with me, or what he *thought* was love. He took it hard. I haven't really seen him since… maybe *once*, twice at the most. It just-"

"Wasn't meant to be," we both say at the same time and smile.

"I'm sorry… about Kim. It's always hard to let go of a long relationship, even if it wasn't major, like Rob and I. I missed him for a while. You get used to seeing someone in the house, or talkin' to someone every day and it's hard to deal with not having them there."

"Yeah, well- we talked to Hailie yesterday and decided that we're gonna put an addition on *my* house and get Kim her own apartment. At least Hai won't suffer too much. Ya know- this time ain't like before- I think we can actually do this as friends now."

"That's best. For your daughter."

"Yeah. So… I'd love to take you to dinner some time." WHAT?! WHERE DID *THAT* COME FROM?! I didn't mean to say that! Shit. Fuck.

"You askin' me out on a date, Jimmy Smith Junior?" She asks with a wink.

"What if I am?"

~*~*~*~*~

"WAAAAAA! WAAAA! WAAA!"

"What the hell is *that*?" He asks.

"Sorry!" Jen says, coming out with Meg. "Sorry, but… I think she wants her Momma. Sorry, Rae."

"It's my daughter," I tell him while taking Meg from Jen.

"Your *what*?"

11
^*^*^*^*^

"Ex*cuse* me?" Daughter? What the- I mean- where did- how did... "Huh?"

"Is she hungry, Jen?"

"Shouldn't be. Maybe she just got startled."

"Shhh, shhh," she coos to the small child as she settles down on the couch.

"Yo, I'ma go down to the gift shop and get some chocolate." With that, her sister leaves.

"I don't… get it. A baby?"

"Well- a lot of stuff changed after Miami. Things got… complicated."

"A baby complicated?"

"Yes."

"How old is she?"

~*~*~*~*~

"Three months," I say. She's stopped crying and I just hold her close to me.

"So… she's yours?"

"Yup. I quit my job and was lying in my bed, ready to go to sleep when I realized what I wanted. So I went to the clinic, like a week later, and got pregnant."

^*^*^*^*^

"Wow. You just… you got inseminated?" I ask, confused.

"Yup. Eight and a half months later, Megan was born."

"Wow. That's just…" *such* a lie. I don't believe it for one fuckin' second. You'd think, since she's a fuckin' *lawyer*, that she'd be a better liar. Ain't that what lawyer's are about?

"Yeah."

Course I guess she's got her reasons for lying. But it don't really change the fact that she's a mommy. And that's just… wow.

Shit. This… I mean… it *shouldn't* change everything. But… I mean- *I've* got a daughter. So what? So what if she's got a kid? Why can't I go out with her? I mean… not that I *want* to-

Except for the fact that I *do*.

Fine. OKAY?! I *like* her. That night… was… amazing.

And I could count on one hand the number of days from this past year that I *didn't* think about her. Shit.

"Can I… hold her?"

"Um…" god, her face almost looks panicked for a second. "Yeah… sure."

"If you don't want me to-"

"She's just weary of men. Some men. But- she's gonna be around. So…"

I get up and move next to her on the couch. "She's so… small."

"She's average, weight-wise, but on the low end of average, which is fine for me."

Shit. She's so beautiful. Both of 'em.

God, I haven't held a baby since… well, since Hailie. Since I held *my* baby. "She's beautiful. And I'm not just sayin' that."

"Thanks," she says with a smile. "If you don't mind… can you… keep her while I heat up a bottle?"

"Sure. No problem."

~*~*~*~*~

This is a whole lot of bad!

He didn't believe me at *all*. I should have just told him the truth… but that's not good either. Stupid me- 'I got inseminated'… yeah- that doesn't sound like *anything* me, the planner, would do. Doesn't sound like anything I would just decide in a week.

I fill a bottle and put it in the microwave for ten seconds. When it beeps, I take it out and stand in the doorway, watching him play with her. He's got her quasi-standing on his knees (as much as a child of three months can stand) and he's bouncing her around to a beat in his head as he rhymes "…'cause pretty babies are better than ladies, better than shadies and you should see the way these eyes watch me like they got me or-"

"Here… I'll take her."

"I can do it. Take a load off." He takes the bottle from me and holds her like a skilled professional. And the scary part? It looks like he was *meant* to have her in his arms. Well… a baby anyway. I never really saw *proof* of the fact that he's good with children. That's what he said in interviews, isn't it? That he thinks he has a natural ability with kids? He's a good man.

"She's *really* beautiful," he says.

"I know. I was *so* worried she'd have one of those alien head things happening, or squinty eyes. I hate babies with shifty eyes."

"Shifty eyes?" He laughs.

"Ya know- squishy, squinty eyes? Some babies are really just ugly. You hate to say it- but some just *are*. But not little Megan. Not *my* baby."

"Guess you picked good genes," he says.

"Huh?"

"Ya know- a good man… donator?"

"Oh… yeah… thanks?" Shit. He *knows* that I'm lying. And he wants me to *know* that he knows. But… it's none of his business. My mistakes are my business. Right?

"Her eyes are *so* blue."

"Yeah… I'm a sucker for blue eyes. My mother had them so I picked a guy with them as well. Hers are just *so* blue- I love 'em. And they're bright and happy- open… intelligent."

"She reminds me of Hailie when *she* was that small. God, I can't even *remember* when Hailie was that small. They grow up way too fast."

"I *know*. I wanna just freeze her like this and keep her forever."

"She's done already. Do you burp her?"

"A little. Gimme her." I take her and god, if only he knew. If only I could have… talked to him… last January. Maybe if I had- things wouldn't be the way they are.

"So…" I search his eyes for some hint of…

"It's okay," I say. Not like he wants to get involved with someone with a kid. Not that we would *get* involved. I'm his attorney for Christ sake. "Just go. Thanks for the CD."

^*^*^*^*^

Shit. Okay. Decision time, Marshall.

Should I even entertain the possibility that that night was more than just chemistry? That it was more than just wanting something *different* from Kim? Shit… what if that passion is just the thing that was missing from Kim and I? We had love. But we didn't have passion, maybe in the beginning, but what teenagers *don't* have passion for first love?

What if this is a chance for something *real*?

What if it's not?

Damn. I *have* to know the answer to that.

"So what about dinner?" I ask. And maybe during dinner, she'll tell me the *truth* behind Megan.

"Huh?" She was expecting me to-

"How about you and me. Dinner. Italian, maybe?" I ask with a wink. We got Italian that night. "Whadya say?" I can't believe I'm actually *nervous* about this. Sweaty palms.

His palms are sweaty. Knees weak, arms are heavy. I swear, if I puke right now I'm gonna be *pissed*.

~*~*~*~*~

Shit. This… and he's waiting for an answer. But what about- Shit.

I can't do this. I can't freakin' go *OUT* with him!

"Lemme think about it."

Shit. That as *supposed* to be *NO*!

^*^*^*^*^

Shit. Think about it?

I guess it's better than a 'no'. Huh?

"Okay. Then… I'ma go."

"Hang on, I'm gonna put her down and I'll walk you out."

She places the baby in the corner of the couch carefully and then follows me to the door.

"Thanks for the stuff."

"Thanks for taking the case. I… I see what you've given up to be-"

Ohshit. Lips on mine. Her *lips* are on *mine*. And we weren't even *arguing*! Shit. I slip an arm around her waist and pull her a bit closer to me. Shit- her hand slips around and rubs the back of my neck. I *love* when girls do that.

Shit.

~*~*~*~*~

What the fuck am I *doing*?! My freakin' *child* is sleeping not ten feet from here.

Fuck. I can feel his- shit.

I pull away and fuck. I wipe my mouth and smile. "Night."

^*^*^*^*^

"Goodnight?" I say. Fuck- what happened?

I *know* what happened!

She got back to me.

"Friday night?" I ask.

"Goodnight, Marshall," she says pushing me gently out the door.

"Say sevenish?" I say just as she closes the door with a soft smile.

Oh yeah. Okay. Paul is *so* not gonna like this.

Oh my god- did I just make a *date*?!

~*~*~*~*~

This is *so* not good.

12
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"Rae…" I moan. I can't help it.

"Yes?" She grins before dropping back down on me. I swear, she's gotta be the one person that feels best around me. "Did you want something?" She asks, biting my lip as she does.

"Fuck yeah," I say, placing my hands on her ass and rolling her hips toward me. "Shit- just like that." She has this incredible way of putting pressure in just the right places… like everywhere.

"DADDEEEEEEE!"

Shit. I jump up and hear Hailie screaming. Shit. Hailie!

Fuck. Way to wake up from a dream, huh? I rush into her room and lunge for her bed. "Shh- it's okay, Baby. It was just a dream."

She dives for my arms and I pull her against me. "Shh- it's okay, Hai-Hai. Shh… it's okay."

"It was… was… so bad, Daddy," she sobs

"It's okay, Baby. You're safe. It's okay. What was it, Baby?"

"There was… an earthquake… and the world was falling down, Daddy."

"Oh, Honey." What kind of seven-year-old dreams about the world falling apart? "It's okay. It wasn't real, okay, Hai? Wasn't real."

"Yeah," she sniffles. "Will you… stay with me tonight, Daddy?"

"Of course, Baby. Of course. Here- lay down." I crawl under the covers with her and she lays on top of me. "Shh… go to sleep."

I rub her  back as she slowly stops crying and relaxes against me. God, if only I could take away all this from her, I would. It's times like this when I just *really* can't understand how any parent could *ever* hurt their kid, whether it be physical or otherwise. How can a parent look at their kid and feel anything other than love?

I mean, no matter *what* happened between me and Kim- I'd *never* take Hailie back. Looking back now, I think the whole reason we got married was because of Hailie. Yes. We loved each other, but not enough.

I can't stop my mind from wandering to Rae's baby. She's three months old. We were together twelve months ago. The baby's got blue eyes. *I* have blue eyes… what if it's… *mine*? It's not like it's out of the realm of possibility. We were stupid. We didn't use protection.

Still, I really can't believe that she *wouldn't* tell me that. Why wouldn't she call me?

So maybe it's not mine. But I sure as hell don't believe for a *second* that she just woke up and got artifically inseminated. I just… don't know how to bring this up. You don't just walk up to someone and say 'is your baby *my* baby?'

I glance at the clock. It's four o'clock. I probably won't get to sleep again.

I wonder what Raven's doing right now.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

I glance at the clock and will this night never end?!

"Shh," I whisper to Megan. She hasn't been bad at all. I just haven't slept! I must have drank too many coffees today. But I was certainly on a roll reading through all the stats. And now it's Friday. Well- it *has* been for about five hours now.

Next week, we'll be flying out to Boston to meet with their attorney's and I guess Jen'll stay here with Meg because I certainly don't wanna move her *again*. She needs some consistency in her life.

Oh, good. She's back to sleep. I place her on my bed gently. I'm certainly not gonna need it. I'm awake. Too awake, I guess.

I grab my briefcase and sneak out to the living room with the baby monitor. It's quiet but I don't wanna disturb her either, so I go into the office. The penthouse suite is sweet. Two bedrooms, office, living room, dining room and kitchen… all I could need for a couple months.

I turn my cell phone on. I've got a couple calls I can make. Well, I can a voice mail and then they're done and out of my way. Oh and I should probably transfer some money into my checking account if I'm going to lunch today…

^*^*^*^*^

So I'm pretty much *up*.

I'd go down to the studio, but just in case Hailie wakes up again, I better not do that.

Today's Friday. I was *supposed* to go out tonight. Of course, she didn't technically say yes… but she didn't say no either. I haven't seen her all week. I haven't seen much of Paul, either, which is good since I didn't get a chance to tell him that I asked her out. I just *know* he won't like it too much. I can just hear him 'it's so inappropriate'. Whatever.

I should call her.

Maybe I'll just leave a message on her voice mail and then, if she calls me back, I'll know she really *does* wanna go out tonight. If she doesn't call me back… then I know that too.

I dial her cell phone number.

<Ring. Ring.>

<"Hello?"> Ohshit. She picked up. <"HellO?"> I wasn't prepared for this! But- I definitely should *not* bring up the baby-thing.

"Um- hi."

~*~*~*~*~

Fuck. It's him. What the hell is he- "What the hell are you doing, calling me at five in the morning?"

<"Technically, it's five fifteen.">

"Whatever. Why are you calling me?"

<"Honestly? I was gonna leave a voice mail. Didn't think you'd be up-">

"Neither did I. Any other day in my life I'd be soundly sleeping until noon, but apparently, I had too much coffee or something. What do you want?"

<"I uh… wanted to… I mean- the last time I saw you… I- wanted to know if-">

"You'd think what with being the most 'controversial and compelling artist of the time'- not to mention a freestyle mc, who supposedly can spit like you'd never believe- you're awfully tongue tied."

^*^*^*^*^

Okay. So it's a tad pathetic when you put it like *that*. "Are we goin' out tonight, or what?"

<"There now. That's better, doncha think? I mean… I've heard your freestyle and-">

"When?"

<"I've gotten around," she says.> What's *that* supposed to mean?

"So we goin' or not?"

<"Where?">

"Dinner."

<"Dinner?">

"Dinner. Yes or no." Then there's silence. Shit- did she get cut off? I wait a few seconds. "You there?"

<"Yeah. I'm here," she answers soft.>

"Well?"

<"Why?">

"Why, what?" She's really frustrating!

<"Why dinner?">

"Because it'll be too late for lunch or breakfast at seven."

<"We shouldn't.">

"We shouldn't have the last time, but we did."

<"Yeah," she moans.> Shit. She thinks about it too, does she?

"Do you think about it? That night, I mean."

~*~*~*~*~

Shit, do I! "Yes. Do you?"

<"Oh yeah… a lot.">

"Me too." Shit. This is a whole world of bad. This is just a *bad* idea from the start. It was a year ago and it is now. But… I like him.

And don't I owe it to… *myself*? To see? <"So dinner?">

"Okay," I answer softly.

So I guess we're doing on a date.

We're dating.

Well… let's not get ahead of ourselves.

13
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

Okay. It's six now. I gotta leave in ten minutes. We decided on a nice dinner so I broke out the cargo pants since she'll probably have something nice on. It's not like a got a tux on or anything- I'm not *that* formal. Hell- I don't think I even *own* a tux.

So I've got the black cargo's and a white button-up. It's not too formal, but it's not street either. I mean… it's just a casual dinner thing.

Why am I so nervous?!

I've dated before- like… Kim and I would go to the movies or drinkin' or whatever. I've gone on dates in the past couple years, after me and Kim split.

So why am I so nervous?

"You look nice."

I turn around and she's standing in the doorway. "Really? I look stupid."

"No you don't. You look very nice. Different."

"I clean up good, huh?"

"Yeah. You always did."

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Kim?"

"Strangely? Yeah."

"Why am I so nervous?" I mean- out of all the people in my life, she probably knows me best. Maybe *she* can tell me.

"Because you like her."

"So? I was never this nervous around you."

"Maybe that was our first clue?" She comes in and straightens out the back of the shirt. "You should tuck this in."

"What? I'm no prep."

"No, but you wanna *look* nice, doncha?"

"Yeah."

"Tuck it in," she repeats. I wonder if she would be pushing this so much if she knew that I thought Raven might have had my child. I bet Kim'll flip if it's true. Maybe I should ask Paul about my legal options… but I just can't believe she wouldn't have called me or at least sent me a letter…

"Lucky I'm not wearin' sweats."

"Yeah, well- ya gotta work harder for this one, Marshall. She's a bit classier than trailer trash."

"You were *never* trailer trash to me, Kim," I tell her, looking into her eyes. "*Never*."

"I know. But Raven? She's way classier than me." I tuck the shirt in and she helps me pull it partially out so it looks nice. "So… do you think this could be something?"

"I don't know. But I wanna find out." I look in the mirror again. I look stupid. I throw my D12 necklace on over the shirt. Better.

Until *she* takes it and puts it inside my shirt. "There. You're ready to go."

"But- damn. Shouldn't she just *know* who I am from the start?"

"A wanna-be thug?" Kim jokes with a smile.

"You think you're funny?"

"I *know* I am. It's one of my more finer qualities. Now go- you don't wanna be late."

"Okay. You sure I look okay? These pants are-"

"Baggy enough to make you feel like a man, but tight enough to show off your ass. You're fine. GO!"

"My ass?"

"What? You've got a great ass," she says. "I always thought so. Now *go*."

"Okay. Fine." *Weird* that *Kim* of all people is helping me get ready for a date that's *not* with her.

"I won't wait up," she says as I run out the door.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"Okay. How's this one?"

"I still like the black better."

"Yeah, but this green brings out my eyes."

"Yeah well, your eyes are already brought out enough, bitch."

"UH!" I look in mock pain at my sister.

"Put the black on."

"But…"

"Black."

"Bu-"

"The black one."

"B-"

"RAE! You asked my opinion and I gave it!"

"Okay. Fine." I pull the green dress off and grab the black one again. "But this one is so much more… 'goth' than I think he is."

"Any guy likes to see a girl in a corset, Sis. Get used to. They're hornballs."

"Okay." I put it over my head and pull it down. The shirt falls about midthigh, showing lots of leg. The top I strapless, rather it's a mock corset. It's body hugging and has a vest type thing, attached to it, then when pulled closed, strings up like a corset in the back. Jen pulls the strings tight and ties it in the back. The effect? My tits pushed so far up that they look *huge*, when I'm really only a size C, but they make it look like a D, which is nice. Any girl likes to show off a little cleavage every once in a while.

"Not too slutty?" I ask her, glancing in the mirror.

"Not too. It looks a bit… wild… but he's a bit wild. So…"

"You'd probably be surprised. Bet he sits at home with a bowl of popcorn watchin' Lion King like everyone else."

"Um…actually, Rae, *you're* the only one who does that. You might not wanna bring it up tonight."

"I can't believe I'm actually going on a *date* with him. Am I crazy?"

"Crazy insane and insane crazy."

"Ha. You're hysterical. What about my hair?"

"Leave it down. It's gorgeous. It's straight. I hate you."

"I like your hair too."

"But *clearly* the *good* hair gene was *not* from *mom's* side of the gene pool. Your dad musta had great hair."

"Sure… he was a real *peach*," I mumble and leave the room quickly.

"Oh my god- Rae, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking…"

I really don't wanna think about this right now. "I should just leave it down?"

"I'd pull a few back- here. Lemme braid the sides a bit to keep them out of your eyes. We'll pull it back just a bit. Give you that soft, accessible look."

"I can't believe I'm even *doing* this."

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

I park in the parking garage in the visitor's section.

Okay. This will be okay. We'll have a nice time… and I am *not* gonna bring up the kid thing.

Hopefully we won't *argue* either. But I'm not holdin' my breath. I hop in the elevator and ride up to the top floor.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"Well?" I finish putting the shoes on. They're small heels that have ties that go around my ankles and up my calves a bit.

"Sexy," Jen answers.

"Okay. Almost time. I'ma say goodnight to Meg. If anything goes wrong, if she needs me-"

"We'll be fine, Rae. Have fun!"

"I can't believe I'm doing this. *WHY* am I doing this?"

What if… Shouldn't he-

"For Megan," she answers me. "Because Megan needs a father."

"*I* didn't have one," I say.

"Yeah and you've got a commitment complex because of it."

Shit. Maybe this *is* for Megan. Doesn't she deserve to have a good male presence in her life? I don't want *her* to have 'commitment' issues.

"Just promise me… promise me you won't tell him the truth."

"Jen…"

"*Promise* me, Rae. He can't know. *No* one can. Do you understand that? Meg could  be taken *away* from you, Rae. No matter how good of a lawyer you are…"

"Jen…"

<Knock. Knock.>

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

The door opens and HOLY SHIT. I swear- I practically *came*. She looks so…

"You look…" shit "amazing."

"Thanks," she says with a smile. She looks down and back up and says, "Not so bad yourself, Mr. Mathers."

"Okay. Bye bye. Get out. Meg and I'll be fine. BYE!" Her sister pushes us out the door.

"Pushy, ain't she?"

"A bit."

~*~*~*~*~

Wow. He looks *really* good. I *love* him in black and white. He's got his glasses on too. Damn.

All the thoughts about Meg and the truth fly out of my head.

He places his hand on the small of my back as we walk to the elevator. Shit. He hits the button for the parking garage and we're on our way, I guess.

A date.

God- remind me again why we're doing this?!

14
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"So- you had a baby. What else did you do this year?"

"Wow… well- I started working at a clinic."

"Clinic?"

"Yeah- a planned-parenthood clinic. I did like working there, but I quit last week."

"Quit? Why?"

"Well… I just wasn't feelin' it. Ya know? Sometimes, you just *know* that what you're doing isn't what you're supposed to be doing."

"All my life." As far as dates, I think we're doing pretty good. Got to the restaurant with no problems. Ordered. Got our salads, wine… so far so good.

"Yeah, but not now, huh?"

"I don't know. I *thought* I wanted this, but I never thought I'd be as huge as I am. It's… tough."

"Gee… being fabulously wealthy, having the world at your feet…"

"Yeah, but I did it so I could give Hailie a good life, and I can now. But I've gotta go here and there and I can't be around all the time. I don't want her to feel like I abandoned her. I don't want her to be fifteen and writing poems about how terrible it was with her dad never around. Ya know?"

"Think she'll write poems?"

"I don't know. She's… she's really got that… quality about her."

~*~*~*~*~

"If she's got your knack for entertainment, I'm sure she'll do great things." Shit, this is… hard. "So, um…" out of morbid curiosity "would you rather have Hailie not miss you?"

"Whadya mean?"

"Would you rather have spared her the pain of knowing you were gone?" I mean… I shouldn't even bring this up, but I gotta have a male point of view on this.

^*^*^*^*^

"What? And just left? Let Kim take her?" I ain't sure I really like where this is going.

"Well… yeah, I guess. Would you have rather had her-"

"NO. A child should *not* be without both parents if they're both able to be parents." There. I think I made my point.

"Oh."

^*^*^*^*^

"Not like *you*," he adds quickly. Oh- that's not what I was thinking. I was thinking that he's incredibly *right* and I should tell… *him* about- "You're different. Megan is, I meant. You made a choice to just eliminate the whole father idea. That's a-"

Shit. I should stop this conversation. "It's not that I don't *want* her to know her father, but-"

"I thought you got it from the sperm bank."

"Huh?" What? I hope my face doesn't look as worried as I think it is.

"You said you want her to know her father- is it an option?"

"Oh." Shit. Quick. Think. "Sometimes. At the clinic, I guess the guys can opt whether they want their information available to the mothers or not. So can I. I left my name with the father's file so that one day, if he wants to know if he had a child…" good thinking. That's why I'm a lawyer. Because I can lie through my teeth in the flash of a smile, albeit not convincingly. "I guess I could have asked someone that I knew, but I just tried to make the best choice at the time."

"Why did you make the choice?" He asks, as the waiter brings our main dishes.

"Honestly?" Yeah… honestly… right. Honestly we'd be having an entirely different conversation. "Honestly, I thought that Meg and I would be better off- not complicating someone's life. I mean- had I asked a friend to donate… well- that's a weird conversation to ask of a friend, first off, but I didn't want anyone to feel obligated… I didn't want to have to move my life or rearrange my life…"

"Now you feel differently?"

^*^*^*^*^

And she's *still* lying through her teeth. Shit.

"Starting to," she says and looks at me *really* weird. I mean… really awkward.

What the hell is that look f- "So, I saw the ad. I thought it was really well done. What else have you been doing?"

"Well- you know I put my fourth album out. Otherwise I-"

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"I guess he's been tryin' to get my number and shit, but… I don't wanna talk to him."

"If he really cared about you, or wanted a chance with you, he'd respect your wishes," I comment, before taking another sip of champagne. I must admit- I've been having a really good time. He is *so* easy to talk to, about *most* things.

"Well, what about you and your dad?" Shit.

"Well… what's there to tell. He- used to hit my mom. She put up with it, until she found that he would-"

I am *SO* relieved when the waiter brings dessert. Cheesecake. It looks *really* good.

Marshall slides chair a bit closer because we decided to share the piece and he is *really* close and he smells so good. *Really* good.

"He would…?" He asks, taking a bit and I can't help but watch as he pulls the fork out of his mouth. There's a bit of the strawberry topping on his bottom lip and I lean forward and gently lick it off of him.

^*^*^*^*^

Shit. I close my eyes when I feel her tongue on my lip… and it lingers ever so much so I kiss it, her tongue and her lips just press against mine and we're kissing again, like those elevator kisses last year, when we were just kissing for the sake of feeling each other's mouths.

When she pulls away and kiss her lips again and smile, "So that was seven parts changing the subject and three parts wantin' to kiss me, right?"

"Maybe eight, two," she says with a smile.

"You should clean out your closet," I inform her with a wink.

"I'm sure I should, but you're probably better at it than I am. I never liked cleaning… well- until I got my own place. Then I became this insane cleaning freak."

"Must get on your nerves that you can't boss the dirt around."

"Me? Bossy? Ha," she says, shoving another spoonful of the cheesecake into my mouth. It's really sweet- very rich. I grab her wrist and yank her to me so I can kiss her.

~*~*~*~*~

Now *this* is trust. Kissing with food in your mouth.

And why do I feel this close to him? It's… insane.

I pull away and say, "Now *that* was eight parts kissing you and two parts wanting some cheesecake." He sticks out his tongue at me and makes a face. I laugh a bit and look down at the table.

"Come now, tell me your troubles, I'll make them *all* go away," he whispers in that *voice*. Shit- why does Ken Kaniff have to sound *so* sexy?

"She hadn't realized that he was locking me up when she was at work."

^*^*^*^*^

Wow. I mean… I figured it was bad, but I wasn't expecting her to actually-

"Not like he hit me or anything," she shrugs. She shrugs about that?! "Just couldn't deal with fatherhood, I guess."

"So what? He left you in the closet? All day?"

"Pretty much." Oh my god. Poor- "Don't."

"Don't what?" I ask.

"That's *exactly* what I hate, why I don't tell anyone. I can't stand that pity-look. Do you want people feeling sorry for you? About *your* childhood?"

"No."

"Then don't pity mine. It happened. It's over. Nothing I can do about it now. So what? I got stuck in a closet for eight hours a day? Big deal- better than being raped. Right? Rather have spent my life in a closet in the dark than know what my father's fist felt like."

"I suppose, but-" god, I mean "what about food?"

"Huh?"

~*~*~*~*~

What the hell does he mean?

"Did he feed you? How did you go to the bathroom?"

"Ya know- of the handful of people who know this about me… *no* one, not even *Jen*, asked me that."

"Well- no pity. I'm just…"

"Sickly curious?"

"I guess."

"Box of crackers and a pail."

"So how did it stop?"

"My mom was *really* sick one day and got sent home early. He had run out for a little bit and she found me crying in the closet. We left that day. She didn't even pack our stuff. We just left. She grabbed some stuff for the road and threw me in the car, crying the whole time."

"Wow. That's… so you went to-"

"New York. Stayed at a shelter for a while until she was able to get an apartment. We lived in Queens for a while, while she went back to school. She met my step-father and we moved in with him. She had Jen, they got married and that's all she wrote."

"Did you ever get counseling?"

"Not really. I just… never slept in the dark. She didn't really know what to do- by the time I was six or seven, other than a fear of the dark and small places, I didn't remember anything."

"When *did* you remember?"

"'Bout the time I moved to LA. Sorta why I went… I couldn't forgive my mother for letting it happen. But we've since patched things up a bit. I guess that's where Rob came in- he helped me… let me lean on him emotionally…"

"OH."

^*^*^*^*^

I get it now. Why they were together… because he was in love with her but she couldn't love someone who knew her at her worst. I guess it sort of *is* the same as Kim and I.

"So… what's next with the case?" I change the subject. I can see she's really had her fill of *this*.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

"Well… I had a really nice time tonight, Marshall," I say leaning against my door.

"Me too," he says, leaning toward me. Our lips meet and I just can't get enough of those lips. We kissed a bit in the elevator too.

He's got his hands leaning on the door above my head and I hold his sides as his tongue just… devours me. Fuck. I practically lift my leg up and… WOAH. That's how I got-

"Waaah!" I hear Megan crying behind the door.

"I should…"

"Yeah. Okay," he says quietly. "I'll call?"

"Okay. Good night, Em."

15
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

How long is customary to wait before calling? A day? A week? A month? I don't know this shit. Kim and I went out *every* night and since she's my only real comparison with how relationships are supposed to go… isn't *that* sad?

I haven't called her yet. It's been three days.

But I know she's been *really* busy. We're flying to Boston tomorrow and they've been really busy preparing for their first sit-down with the magazine people. I didn't wanna bother her, but is she gonna think I don't wanna see her again?

No. I think she's too smart to think *that*. She *knows* how much *more* I'd love to see of her.

Damn, would I!

"Are you paying any attention to me at all, Em?"

"Oh- sorry, Paul."

"You were thinkin' about *her*, huh?"

"What? No."

"Dammit, Marshall. I told you not to get involved!"

"Too late, Paul. Too late."

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

I glance at the screen and I think I'm *finally* ready.

I think.

We crunched so many numbers the past few days it's not even funny. I think I know more about the Source's sales than anyone alive. It's sad.

I hit print and watch as the twenty pages come out of the printer. Good.

For a million dollars, I think I've done my part.

"Almost done?"

"OH- hey, Jen! I think I *am* done. I can't think of anything I could *do* to be more prepared."

"Eminem?"

"Ha ha. I think we both know I already *did* that."

"Yeah and someone won't tell me anything about it, grumble grumble." I glance at my sister as she flops down on the loveseat in the office of the suite.

"You gonna be okay with Meg for four days? I don't wanna leave her, but I don't wanna bring her either."

"Meg and I'll be fine."

<Ring. Ring.>

"Hello?" I answer.

<"Hey, Raven, it's me.">

"Hey me." It's HIM! "What's up?"

<"Well- I got some bad news… and some good news.">

"Okay? What?"

<"Paul just told me that they couldn't find a flight where we could all go together, so you and Paul will be on one plane and I'll follow you with Theo and Peter.">

"Oh- well- that's no big deal. What's the good news?"

<"Oh- right, first off, I'm sorry I didn't call- but I knew you were really busy preparing to save my ass, so-">

"It's okay. I understand."

<"Anyway- the good news- I'm takin' Hailie to the mall- they got this game place, with skeeball and video games and shit… wanna come?">

Yes I do, but not to the mall… maybe in bed… with you… Shit. I just can't forget how good he felt between my thighs.

"What about like… reporters and stuff?"

<"OH. I booked the place. Everyone's goin'- your sister is welcome to come as well. Hailie and the gang will be there as well. I thought we all needed time to just chill the hell out.">

"Sounds fun."

<"I'll pick you up then? In an hour?">

"Okay. See you then."

Oh god. What am I gonna wear?

-------------
^*^*^*^*^

"Come on, Hai, any day now!"

"Relax, sheesh! Don't have a cow, Man!"

"Who let you watch Simpsons?" I ask and look at her. Her eyes immediately dart to the floor. "Hailie?!" I ask again. Dora the Explorer is one thing, but…

"Uncle Proof. Just one time though!"

"Hailie- from now on, whatever Proof says to you, do the opposite, okay? You'll turn out a heck of a lot better."

"Funny," she giggles as the door opens. "That's what he said about *you*!" And then she runs off down the hallway.

"HAILIE!" I charge after her and grab her, hoisting her up over my shoulder. "Sack of potatoes!"

"AAAHHHH! HELP ME! SAVE ME!"

"Shh- Hailie, you're in a hotel! Keep your voice down!"

I knock on the penthouse door and her sister opens it. "Hey!"

"Hi. Got room in here for a delinquent child?"

"Always. Come on in, she's just getting Meggie ready."

"Who's Meg?" Hailie asks. "Put me down, Daddy!" I put her on the floor and she marches up to Jen and introduces herself. "I'm Hailie Jade! Who are you?"

"I'm Jen."

"Like Aunt Jenny, Dad!"

"Not exactly." I'm fairly certain this Jen won't sell us out if I refuse to fuck her.

"Who's Meg?" Hailie asks her.

I look up and see Raven walking out with the baby (possibly *my* baby). Dammit. I *have* to know. Shit- she's got on a pair of jeans, hip huggers, and black Docs. However the black tank top, which ends just about her navel, and has two spaghetti straps, really completes the outfit. Damn. Really shows off those gorgeous tits of her.

"Megan is my daughter, Hailie. Do you wanna meet her?"

"Can I hold her? I hold Whitney all the time!" That's true- Hailie *loves* Whitney. She loves being a big sister. God- how do I bring this up to Rae? Of course- if it *is* my baby- don't I deserve to *know*?!

"Sure. Come sit down on the couch. You can hold her while I get my jacket on."

"Oh cool- she's got blue eyes like mine! Whitney doesn't have blue eyes, she has brown ones."

"Oh yeah? Do you like bein' a big sister?"

"Not yet. It's sorta boring. All Whitney does is roll around!"

"Well- you gotta give babies time to start crawling. I bet she'll be crawling soon."

"When will Meg crawl?"

"Not for another six months or so."

I watch her walk over to the table and I gotta smile when she pulls on a black hoody with 'Detroit' across the front of it. She notices my smirk. "What? I gotta fit in with the locals!"

"Believe me, you could never fit in anywhere!"

"That remains to be seen!" She says, grabbing the baby bag. "Jen, baby or bag?"

"I'll take the bag. You get the baby."

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

Well- he did say *everyone*. And *everyone* is here. D12. Kim. His lawyers. Aunt and Uncle. Cousins. Everyone. Even a few neighbors, I think. I'm not sure. Just a lot of people…

Jen's having a *great* time.

"Hey," he says, pulling up a chair and sitting on it backwards in front of me. Like… *right* in front of me. "Wanna play?"

"Huh? Play?"

"Yes… as in a game… fun… ya know- skeeball?"

"I am *so* not good at stuff like that. 'Swhy I'm a lawyer and not a volleyball player."

"Oh come on," he says, grabbing my hand. Shit- I *love* touching him. He's so… touchable. "Live a little."

I glance down at Meg and she's sleeping a bit in her seat, so… I guess it wouldn't hurt. Even though I'll embarrass myself horribly. "Okay, just promise me, you won't let this affect your decision to keep me on as legal counsel."

"I swear!" He drags me toward the skeeball and god- I'm even more terrified of this than I am of court. Isn't that sad? I'd rather be in front of the Supreme Court, than doing anything coordination-related.

"So… we just roll the balls" my god- the look he gives me is just *price*less "up the little runway here?"

"That's it."

^*^*^*^*^

"Can't I just walk up there and throw the ball into the hole?"

"You don't put balls in holes- you put *other* things in holes," I say with a smirk.

"Ha ha. Okay- you do it first. I wanna size up the competition."

"DADDY! Can I play too?" Hailie runs over.

"Sure!" Of course, there goes the flirting and shit- because I'm not gonna do that in front of my daughter.

-------------

"DID YOU SEE THAT, DADDY?"

"Yeah, Hai, we saw." She just got a hundred points! In one shot.

"This is just sad," Rae says. "Beaten by a seven-year-old. That's pathetic. Life has lost all meaning." She falls to the floor with her legs crossed, faking destruction.

Hailie giggles and pats her back. "It's okay. Daddy and Mommy think you're an excellent lawyer."

"Oh they do, do they?"

"Yup. They said so."

"Well- that's good anyway."

"RAVEN! MEG'S UP!" She runs over to the table.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, Hailie?"

"I like her. Is that okay?"

"Who?"

"Miss. Warner. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, Hailie. I like her too. It's okay."

"Is she gonna be my new mommy?"

Oh god. I hate that look in her eyes. "Come here," I say, kneeling and pulling her in front of me. "Hailie- you will *never* have a new mommy. Your mommy will *always* be your mommy. Okay? Even if Mommy or I meet other people, we'll *always* be your parents."

"Okay," she nods, but how can a kid really understand that? I don't know.

-------------
~*~*~*~*~

Okay. A bit of Desitin and a diaper and Ouila! Clean, less smelly baby!

"Hey," I hear and look in the mirror. Kim just came in.

"Hi," I say, snapping Meg's onesie.

"I uh… wanted to talk to you a bit, alone."

"Oh- okay. What's up?"

"I just wanted you to know- Marshall told me… about the night- *that* night when you and he- I mean… I'm not upset or anything. I just- there's no reason this should be weird between us or anything. I just wanted you to know."

"Oh." I don't really know what else to say.

"I know he likes you- a lot. Though I'm not sure he knows that- anyway- I won't stand in your way. I just… would like you to keep in mind it'll be hard for Hailie."

"Excuse me?" This is just… too much.

"Just think about it." With that, she turns around and leaves.

Huh.

I think his ex-wife just gave me *permission*.

I think she just gave us her blessing.

Could this day *be* any weirder?

16
-------------
^*^*^*^*^

Once I get comfy in the limo, I bump my shoulder into hers to get her attention. "Whacha listenin' to?" I ask.

Man, I wish we coulda been on the same flight 'cause I was gonna try and bring up the baby thing. But at least we get a limo ride to the hotel together. Paul, Theo and Pete had somethin' they needed to take care of, whatever that means. I didn't question and apparently, neither did she.

I gotta say, she looks really nice. Black skirt, dark red blouse. Very professional. And then there's me- ghetto trailer trash. Maybe I *am* kidding myself with this… I guess it's funny that after all that's happened I'm still as insecure as I was when I was thirteen. Not that my childhood really *encouraged* self-esteem or nuthin'.

"Huh?" She slides the headphones slightly off of her ears.

"Whacha listenin' to?"

"None of your business," she smiles.

"Come on, tell me."

She sticks her tongue out at me and goes back to listening to it. I lean closer to her and try to hear.

~*~*~*~*~

//And Kurt Russell, sayin' come here, Goldie, you want my love muscle? You know you want it//

"What *is* that?"

I turn it off and take the headphones off.

"Was that me?" He asks. I take the CD cover out and hand it to him. "Eminem Freestyles? Volume 2? What the- where did you get it?"

"Ebay is an amazing thing. You should try it some time. You can find all kinds of stuff on it."

"I'd forgotten all about this shit. I don't even *remember* it. Can I borrow this?"

"Sure," I shrug. I put my CD player in my bag and sit there. God, that plane ride was long. "So I guess we'll get to the hotel and chill for a while?"

"Yeah… sounds like a plan," he says. "How was your flight?"

"Good. It was good- long. I hate flying… it's like a big box of death that we're gonna throw into the sky at seven hundred miles an hour…"

"Is it like a claustrophobia thing?"

"No," I say, crossing my legs. "It's a 'I don't wanna die in a plane crash' thing. Of all the ways I imagine myself going- crashing into the ground at seven hundred miles an hour is *not* one of them."

"You think about how you'll go?"

"You don't?"

^*^*^*^*^

Huh. I mean… I guess I *thought* about it, but- "Sort of, I suppose. How would you want it to happen?"

"If it had to be *now*? And by unnatural means- I think I'd prefer a bullet hole to the heart. Clean. Instant. And not too messy."

"As opposed to…" she's really morbid.

"Say… drowning, beheading, being slowly tortured or electrocution… I think I'd a bullet any day."

"Are you… *always* this… chipper?" I ask.

"I'm just saying… you never know when you'll be in these situations."

"Where you're forced to choose the way you die?"

She looks at me and then smiles. "What can I say- being locked in a closet gives you time to think."

"But you said you don't really remember it."

"I didn't. Until I started to- have flashbacks, things like that."

"Are you glad you remember?"

She shrugs. "I guess it's nice knowing *why* I can't sleep without a light on, or why my skin crawls in confined spaces. It's a rational fear- I used to think I was just a freak, or a baby. A teen who needed a nightlight…"

Shit. Is your child my child? Doesn't seem like the time for that, yet.

~*~*~*~*~

The limo stops in front of a gorgeous hotel and I'm so glad it's *so* far away from where we lived. I don't *ever* wanna-

"Rae? Comin'?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Just… thinkin'."

Thinking. Yeah… I've got *so* much to think about, it's not even funny. Dammit. Too much.

God- before this case, I thought I had things under control. I thought *I* was in control and happy with my decisions. But now… I'm not sure- after having talked with him about parenting…

We get in the elevator and I turn to him. "Hypothetically, if you had a child with someone, no matter how screwed up the circumstances would be- you'd wanna know?" Oh… I didn't really mean to ask him that. Dammit, me and my *mouth*- always gettin' me into trouble.

^*^*^*^*^

I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! THAT KID IS *MINE*… oh my god. That baby is *mine*.

I have another daughter…

"Marshall?"

I look at her. "*Yes*," I state. "No matter what, I would want to know. And I would *hope* that the mother wouldn't be that much of a *coward* and *hide* it from me."

~*~*~*~*~

He's angry.

Shit- this was a bad conversation to have.

"Thanks," I say and turn away from him and I am *so* happy the elevator door opens and another couple gets in.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and he looks *pissed*. Beyond angry.

^*^*^*^*^

She *KEPT* me from my *daughter*.

No better than *Kim*- takin' my baby away from me- not tellin' me.

I thought she was better than that. That *bitch*!

HOW DARE SHE *NOT* TELL ME? WHAT *RIGHT* DOES *SHE* HAVE?!

SO what I don't got a fuckin' *diploma* or whatever- she thinks I'm too good to be the father of her child?! FUCK HER! I *WILL* HAVE A PART IN MY CHILD'S LIFE!

17
~*~*~*~*~

The elevator stops on our floor and I'm well aware of his cold eyes, boring holes into the back of my skull. I *knew* I shouldn't have brought it up.

Jen warned me, didn't she? She *told* me to keep my mouth shut about anything having to do with parenting.

"So," he says, his voice on edge, "What'll be *next*, with the case?"

"Well- tomorrow morning, we'll go and meet with the lawyers. And if we can't work something out- it'll go to the courts and we'll be assigned a court date. But I'm hoping it won't go that far- at least we can try to get rid of one of the lawsuits."

"Then I'll guess I'll see you tomorrow." He brushes by me quickly. Shit. How did my life end up like this?

^*^*^*^*^

It took *all* I could *not* to blow up at her. No. I'm gonna do this the *smart* way, because I *swear* I'll kill her if she lies to me again.

I get into my suit and dial Paul's phone number.

<"Hello?">

"I want you to file a petition for a paternity test."

<"Ex*cuse* me? For what?">

"Rae's baby is mine and I wanna prove it."

<"What? Marshall- what are you-">

"She practically admitted it. She's been keeping my baby from me, Paul and I'm not gonna let her get away with it. Oh yeah- and fire her ass. I can't trust her."

I hang up on him and throw my bag on my bed. Dammit.

DAMMIT!

<Ring. Ring.>

"WHAT?" I answer.

<"Bad day?">

"OH- Kim… sorry- what?"

<"What's wrong?">

"Nothing."

<"Marshall- what's *wrong*?">

"I think Raven's baby is mine." Silence. "Kim?"

<"Are you… sure?">

"Basically. She practically admitted it to me."

<"Marshall- maybe you should *be* sure. I mean… you don't know- she could have been pregnant *before* you got together.">

Oh.

I hadn't thought about that.

She *did* have… Rob. Maybe *he's* the father.

But maybe *I* am.

Shit.

"I have to know, Kim."

<"I know… just… don't go do something stupid.">

"Like I would-"

<"Marshall- I *know* you. Just don't do something stupid. Think it through.">

"No impulsive moves. I think I learned my lesson."

<"Okay.">

"Why were you calling?"

<"OH- just to tell you about Hailie's doctor appointment today. She's in perfect health- good eyesight, hearing… the whole nine yards.">

"Good. That's good. I think I'ma-"

<"Yeah. Okay.">

"Kim?" I ask before she hangs up.

<"Yeah?">